


Take Two

by IslanderBib83, lotrspnfangirl



Series: Take Two [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Divorce, Dysfunctional Relationships, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Hurt!Comfort, M/M, Marriage, Memories, Multi, No mpreg, Text Messages, daddy!dean, take two series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-03-29 22:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 109,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3913684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IslanderBib83/pseuds/IslanderBib83, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel get drunkenly married at 19. It's bold, it's rash, it's being young and in love. After Dean walked out, Castiel tried to move on and after ten years, he's decided to marry again. The only thing standing in his way is his legal marriage. Dean, however, wants a second chance to prove that he's grown up, he's matured, but his love for Castiel has never changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings/Spoilers: Angsty! Totally AU.  
> Beta(s): Huge thanks and hugs to [oldbatj](http://www.oldbatj.livejournal.com) for working with us on this! Jude, you’re fantastic!  
> A/N: We own nothing! We are taking these characters and playing with them nicely. Our fic was based off of [this prompt..](http://lotrspnfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118426111154/link-to-story-to-follow) Bibi primarily wrote Dean and Dani primarily wrote Cas. Our eye banners are used to signify scene changes and not POV, even if they coincide. We just think the boys have pretty eyes <3
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> 

 

  


“Will you marry me, Castiel?”

It had not been the first time Castiel had been asked that question, but he hoped it would be the last. He was finally happy, he had a man who was charming and handsome, held a steady job and above all else, seemed to love Castiel completely. Most importantly, he _wanted_ this. Castiel and Balthazar had been together for the better part of the last five years, living together for the last three, and it was no surprise when he finally got down onto one knee in the middle of a crowded restaurant to proclaim his love and ask for Castiel’s hand.

There was only one problem.

“Cas… babe, I want to marry you. I wanted to marry you _yesterday._ ” Balthazar was sprawled across their bed, legs hanging over the edge as he watched Castiel do up the buttons on his shirt.

“I know, Balt.” Cas sighed, tossing a smile over his shoulder. “It’s not exactly like it’ll be easy for me to drop everything at work and travel across the country, you know?” He finished buttoning up his shirt and reached back into the closet for a tie, slinging it around his neck.

“For me, baby?” Balthazar slipped off the bed and crossed the space between them, grabbing the ends of the tie and pulling Castiel in for a kiss. Cas hummed against Balthazar’s lips, pressing into them for a moment before batting him away and grabbing his tie back.

“I’ll put in the request at work, happy?”

“Yes,” Balthazar smiled, kissing him quickly before retreating into the master bathroom. “Do you want me to come with you?” He called out.

“No,” Cas said quickly. “I’ll only need a few days, don’t worry about it. Dean will probably be grateful to sign the papers, glad to officially get rid of me, you know?”

Balthazar’s response was drowned out by the start of the shower. “I’ll see you tonight!” Cas called before exiting the room and collecting the rest of the things he needed for work.

In the fridge he found a brown paper bag with his name written across it in Balthazar’s curly script. He smiled, shoving the bag into his briefcase. He would put the request in at work and get his divorce done and over with, Balthazar deserved that.

As he slipped into his company car, he let his mind wander to Dean Winchester, the first man he had ever loved. Dean had rolled into town when they were sixteen years old and swept Castiel off his feet -- literally.

_“Incoming!” Castiel looked up quickly to see a kid on a skateboard, arms flailing wildly as he tried to catch his balance, heading straight for him. He had only a moment to widen his eyes and open his mouth to yell out when the kid slammed right into him. Castiel felt his feet fly up and the two of them tumbled down in a tangle of limbs onto the pavement, as the skateboard skittered away down the sidewalk._

_“What the hell?” Cas wheezed, gasping for air. The kid pushed up and removed his elbow from Cas’ stomach, allowing him to breathe again._

_“I’m so sorry…. I yelled out a warning!” The skateboarder offered hastily._

_Cas looked up, ready to tell the kid where he could shove his two-second warning, but the words got lost on his tongue. This kid had sandy-blonde hair, kicked up in soft peaks as if he’d just rolled out of bed, and his eyes were a captivating, vibrant green that Cas found himself lost in._

_“Hey…Did you hit your head or something? Are you alright?” The kid looked at him in confusion and concern until Castiel finally shook his head, before shoving the kid off of him._

_“No, I’m fine, no thanks to you.” He muttered, collecting his backpack and the book he had been carrying from the ground as he stood up._

_“Let me make it up to you. Dinner?” The kid smiled, waiting for his response._

_“Fine. Dinner.” Cas sighed, hiking the bag up over his shoulder._

_“I’m Dean.”_

_“Castiel.” He took Dean’s extended hand, and shivered at the touch. Dean simply smiled and went to retrieve his skateboard._

_“Meet you here at 6?” He called, climbing back on the board and skating away, not bothering to wait for Castiel’s response._

Cas rubbed at his elbow when he pulled up to a stop sign, fingers tracing over the thin scar that was the only proof their collision had ever happened. Dean had definitely done a number on him. Cas sighed, punching the radio button to flood the car with the music to try to block out the thoughts and memories of Dean. It was too bad Cas was the only one who had fallen hard.

By lunch, Castiel was completely ready to give up for the day and go home. He’d had four patients cancel their appointments for today which meant the outpatient therapists were breathing down his neck about reinstating consequences over patients not giving 24 hour notices. The nurses from the inpatient floor were complaining about their coffee machine not working, _again_ , as if Castiel didn’t have more important things to do than worry about coffee. And… the Joint Commission decided to surprise him and show up three _weeks_ early to start their inspections of the nursing floor.

He wanted to pretend, for once, he wasn’t the CEO of the most successful rehabilitation hospital on the East Coast and head back home to bury himself back under the covers until Balthazar got home and could have his wicked way with him.

“Hannah?” He poked his head out of his office, looking towards his secretary’s desk, glad she was sitting there and hadn’t gone out for lunch.

“Yes?” She turned around and he recognized the look in her eyes. She was just as worn out as he was.

“Since J-Co came this week, I’m going to take a few days off next week. I have to head back to my home town for… some family stuff.” He stumbled at the end, tossing her a nervous smile and hoping she wouldn’t push for a more detailed explanation. Hannah was his longest employed secretary, going on four years now, and she was starting to get too comfortable with his personal life.

“Okay,” she said, spinning back around in her computer chair. She pulled up a calendar and started clicking away faster than he ever would’ve been able to keep up. “You don’t have much scheduled next week, I’ll just move a few things around. Will you be back by Thursday?”

“Yeah, Thursday.” He nodded, offering her another smile before disappearing back into his office and sinking back against the door when it closed. He would have almost an entire week back home. He exhaled slowly, letting his eyes fall closed. Here, alone in his office, he could let the nerves worm their way through his stomach.

He hadn’t seen Dean in nearly ten years. Ten long years since Dean had walked out of their little apartment without a second thought about Castiel’s feelings. And in those ten years Castiel had put himself through college, gotten his degree and a really good job. He had shown the world that he moved on from Dean Winchester and that little town in Kansas. But here, alone in his office, he could admit to himself that he had never _truly_ moved on.

Some nights, when he wasn’t fully in the mood and Balthazar was, he would find himself picturing Dean’s green eyes staring down at him as he slipped into Cas, fucking into him like Castiel was the only one that mattered. And sometimes, he would find himself letting his hands wander when he had extra minutes in the shower, his thoughts filled with memories of Dean sucking him down under the hot spray or opening him up and taking him against the shower wall. Afterwards, Cas always felt guilty as if he’d cheated on Balthazar. But down deep, he realized his subconscious just didn’t care.

This was the last step. Getting Dean to sign the papers would remove any lasting connection they had ever had. Dean could officially become nothing but a memory and Castiel could finally move on and focus all of his attention on Balthazar and the life they were building together. He was too old now to be focusing on childhood fantasies.

Pushing himself away from the door he moved back to his desk and picked up the phone, dialing his fiance's number so he could thank him properly for his thoughtfully packed lunch. This was what life was meant to be, a future husband who made him lunches and picked up his phone calls with a smile in his voice. A man who would be waiting for him when he got home, ready to cook dinner together and fall into bed at the end of the night wrapped around each other. His fingers were shaking as he hung up the phone, and he clenched his fist together to stop them. This was what Castiel deserved, it was what he _wanted._

 

“Castiel!”

“Hey, Dad,” Cas smiled as he made his way up the wooden porch steps and fell into his father’s outstretched arms. “It’s good to see you.”

“You could see me more often you know,” his dad smiled, squeezing his shoulders again before letting him go. “Come on… let’s get your stuff inside.”

Cas nodded and followed his father into the house, letting his eyes trail over walls that hadn’t changed since he had left.

The same pictures were still hanging on nearly every inch of the walls going up the staircase with a few additions from his college graduation and a few more candid shots of him with Balthazar. He paused at the foot of the stairs and looked at the last photograph of him and both of his parents. He felt his Dad smiling sadly behind him.

“Come on, get your stuff upstairs and I’ll start on some dinner,” his father offered gently.

Cas smiled down at him and shifted his bag before taking off up the stairs to his old room. He let out a soft laugh, even that hadn’t changed-- Batman sheets and all. He dropped the bag and changed out of his travel clothes, slipping on a pair of jeans and button-down shirt.

“Hey Dad?” He called as he moved quickly down the stairs. “Do you happen to know where Dean Winchester works?”

His dad dropped the plate he was holding, the sound of it clattering against the counter made both of them jump.

“What?” He asked, turning around to eye his son carefully. “Why are you asking about Dean?”

“You know why, Dad. I need to get him to sign some papers…” He trailed off, seeing the disappointment in his dad’s eyes. “Please, can we not start on this again? Balthazar and I are getting married, and this is the last thing that’s standing in the way.”

“Okay,” His dad nodded, turning back around and picking up the plate again to finish setting the table. “As long as you’re happy, Castiel. That’s all I want for you, you know that.”

“I know, Dad. This is what I want.” He said, slipping into his old chair and watching as his Dad moved around the small kitchen, serving up the pasta he had made for them to eat. He noticed his Dad was favoring one side over the other and made a mental note to ask him about it later. He really should try to get out here more often…

“Singer’s Salvage Yard,” his father said suddenly. Cas looked up, confused. “Dean… he works full time with Singer, I think he co-owns the place...”

“Oh,” Cas said, surprised. “He actually, like, runs a business?”

“He’s grown up, Cas. You both have.” Cas nodded and focused on his plate, determined to change the subject.

Dean, the mechanic. Cas snorted as he took a bite of his pasta. Some things would never change.

 

  


"So, did you have fun last night?"

Dean had barely opened the back door into Bobby's kitchen when the older man's question greeted him. He looked around making sure they were alone.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted, but he left as soon as I mentioned Dotty."

He poured himself a cup of coffee and joined Bobby at the kitchen table.

"Men these days..." Bobby grumbled low. "Maybe you should go out with women, they tend to have a soft spot for your situation," he suggested.

"Or maybe I should just enjoy my life as it is. Dotty and I are happy, Bobby, we don't need another person in our lives… except you."

"Whatever you say."

Dean wasn't lying. He was happy. He had a good job, was actually running a business, and he had great little daughter, the sun and stars of his life.

He had been raising her alone ever since her mother had passed away from cancer when Dorothy had only been eight months old.

Next month she would turn six and Dean wanted to make the day special for her. He still didn't know exactly how though, but he still had some time to make plans.

When he heard her little feet coming down the stairs he got up and waited by the door.

"Boo, little bear!" he grinned as she came in.

"Morning Papa Bear!" She giggled and hugged him.

"Been a good girl for your uncle Bobby?" he asked, knowing of course that she would have been. Sure enough she nodded and glanced at Bobby.

"Cereal’s already on the table, Princess," he just said, a smile in his voice.

Dean let his daughter go and watched her dig into her cereal. He opened the fridge and made her sandwich for school, thankful that Bobby considered them both his family and let Dean use his kitchen like this and was always ready to let Dorothy stay the night whenever Dean wanted to go out - which wasn't often anyway.

 

Dean couldn't tell if it was nostalgia or regret or longing, but when he had to go to collect the salvage Bobby had bought at an estate sale the day before and found himself in his old neighborhood, his heart felt heavy.

He caught himself thinking of Castiel sometimes, at the oddest times.

He knew their drunken decision to get married had been a mistake, especially at their age back then. And he knew it had been his fault when they had broken up.

He often wondered how their lives would have turned out if they hadn't married so young and in drunken haste, if they had waited, if they had made the decision with clear, sober minds.

He drove to the estate address and loaded up Bobby’s purchases with a quiet efficiency. When he drove off, going to pick up Dorothy from school on his way back to the yard, he smiled and shook his head clearing it.

He pushed any regrets from his mind, reasoning that his little girl wouldn't be part of his life, if things hadn't happened the way they had ten years ago.

He just wished Castiel could see him now. Cas would see that he was able to take responsibility for another person after all.

“Daddy!” Dorothy burst through the front doors of the school almost the second Dean pulled up to the curb, a smile stretched wide across her face, her green eyes dancing happily as she threw herself into his arms.

“Hey, Princess!” He smiled, swinging her up into his arms and giving her a hug. “Did you have a good day at school?”

“Yes! Mattie let me take home his skateboard today! Mrs. Mills told me that I had to make sure I wore a helmet cause it was really important that I protect my head in case I fall.” She was immediately pulling at her backpack the moment Dean set his daughter back on the ground and he could see the skateboard sticking out of her half-opened pack. “Want to see the back of it?”

“Let’s wait until we get to Uncle Bobby’s house,” He smiled at her, taking the bag from her arms and opening the back door so she could climb into her booster seat. “I bet Uncle Bobby probably has a helmet and some knee pads for you. Daddy just has a few more things he has to do before we can go home.”

“Okay!” Dorothy beamed at him, struggling to get her seatbelt fastened. He gave her a minute before assisting her, clicking it into place and receiving a wet kiss on his cheek as thanks.

After a few short errands, Dean smiled the whole way back to the salvage yard, nostalgic feelings and thoughts of Castiel momentarily forgotten. For now at least...

Castiel was never really forgotten. One could even find a framed photograph of him and Dean from their High School Graduation in Dean’s living room among the framed photographs of Dorothy, her mum, her Grandma and Grandpa.

The moment they arrived back at the yard, Dorothy unbuckled her seatbelt, bouncy and determined to use the skateboard. She grabbed her backpack and bolted out of the car calling out for her Uncle Bobby.

Dean just laughed watching her run off, before starting unloading the car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will be updating every Sunday and Wednesday :)

 

  


Castiel pulled up the long driveway into Singer’s Salvage Yard, hoping he would be able to catch Dean before the end of the workday. He had tried to work himself up to this visit since early morning, making up all sorts of excuses to do other things first, and before he knew it the entire day had almost slipped past. Sighing, Castiel threw the car into park and leaned forward to rest his forehead against the steering wheel.

This should be easy. Quick, in and out. Dean just needed to sign the papers, they didn’t need to make a big to-do about it all. Then, by tomorrow evening, he would be at home in his own bed, wrapped around Balthazar and planning their wedding. He could do this.

Castiel slipped out of the car and picked his way around a few vehicles in various stages of repair. He headed across the wide concrete area in front of the myriad of repair bays. He glanced around as he walked, before cautiously moving towards a small building with a hand-painted sign simply stating: OFFICE. He couldn’t see anyone in the yard…

“Watch out!” A high pitched shriek came from his left and Castiel spun around, just in time for a young girl on a skateboard to slam into him. The board shot between his legs as the girl slammed into his chest, knocking him to the ground.

Dorothy was struggling to disentangle herself from the man, mumbling a litany of apologies when Dean came running over. He had seen the shiny green helmet zooming past the cars, heard Dorothy’s screamed warning and then there had been nothing.

“Dotty!” he called out. “Oh, God, Sir, I’m so sorry,” he called to his daughter’s victim, not seeing the man’s face yet. He rushed over and helped his daughter up. Then the man turned his head and Dean gasped loudly and stared. A few seconds of stunned silence later, though, he burst into loud laughter, holding his stomach and panting.

“I didn’t mean to, Daddy!” Dot’s eyes were wide as she looked up at her Daddy who was still laughing. Her eyes flitted over to the man, staring at them with his eyes blown wide. “My Daddy doesn’t usually have giggle-fits,” she whispered in apology.

“I… This was a mistake.” Castiel whispered, swallowing hard as he took in the sight before him. Dean had a child. _Dean_ had a _child._

“Cas!” Dean straightened up, clearing his throat as he quickly reached out to grasp Castiel’s arm and stop him from leaving. “I… Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Castiel nodded biting his lower lip.

“It’s… well, it’s kind of funny.” Dean continued, a mirthful smile playing on his lips. “Skateboards don’t really like you. Do they?”

“No, they really don’t.” Cas smiled softly, surprised at the pang he felt when he realized Dean remembered how they had first met. “I… I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

“I … Yeah, well, I didn’t think you ever wanted to hear from me or I’d have sent you a card,” Dean bit anxiously at his lower lip. “Well, Cas meet my little sunshine, Dorothy. Dotty, this is Castiel, an old friend of mine,” he said introducing them, his hand resting on his daughter’s head.

“Hi,” Dotty said, an angelic smile breaking across her face as she beamed up at Castiel.

“Hello.” Cas said, bending down on one knee and holding out a hand to her. “It’s nice to meet you, Dotty.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Shaking the quiet man’s hand, she still beamed at him, her green eyes wide with joy. The smile dimmed a little as she added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to knock you down.”

“You couldn’t help it, Princess. It’s the way Winchesters introduce themselves to Cas,” Dean said and smiled warmly at Cas.

“Exactly.” Cas glanced up and met Dean’s eyes. “At least you didn’t give me a scar me like your daddy did.”

Dorothy’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open as she looked up at her father. “You hurt him, Daddy?”

“Yes, I did.” Dean admitted, his eyes still on Castiel, adding an unspoken ‘in more than one way’. “Is it really still visible?”

“It’s nothing compared to some of my other scars.” Castiel said quietly, standing up from his crouched position and knowing Dean and his conversation was something entirely different than the one they were having with little Dorothy. “But, that’s all in the past. We’ve moved on from there, right?”

“Right … I guess …” Dean said with a small sigh. “So, well, what … what brings you to this humble place, Cas?”

Castiel cleared his throat, reaching into the pocket of his coat and pulling out the stapled papers he had gotten from his lawyer the morning he had left. “Some… adult business.” He said, handing over the papers to Dean. “It’s kind of important, adult business.”

Dean took the papers and glanced at them, then looked at Castiel with wide eyes. “Why don’t you go practice your boarding skills some more, little bear, while Daddy talks to Castiel?” he suggested, looking at his daughter.

“Okay, Papa bear!” Dorothy chimed back at him, skipping off towards the newly remembered skateboard. Castiel watched as she hopped back onto the board, her arms flailing to keep her balance as her little foot pushed the board along. He wished life could always be as simple as it was for little ones…

In reality? When an adult fell down, you couldn’t just pick yourself up and hop ‘back on the board’. In reality, when you fell, you had an entire ration of shit to deal with. Cas sighed and turned his attention back to Dean.

“I’m getting married.” He said simply, shrugging his shoulders. “This is all that’s stopping me.”

Dean gulped. He hadn’t thought about this in ages, to tell the truth, he’s never thought about it having any consequences after Castiel had left. Not that he ever had to bother considering any legal consequences until now. Dorothy’s mom and he had never thought about marriage, not even when they first found out about the pregnancy.

“Let’s go inside, I’ll make us some coffee,” he finally offered to break his own silence.

Castiel sighed, nodding once before he followed Dean through the salvage yard and into Bobby’s house.

“Dean, are you and Dotty staying for--” Bobby stopped mid-sentence, frozen in the hallway as he watched Castiel following Dean into the house. “Uh, hey…Castiel,” he stammered in surprise, eyes flicking between the two men.

“Hey, Bobby.” Castiel said, offering the man a smile. Bobby’s eyes were full of confusion but he swallowed it down and looked at Dean.

“Should I take Dotty out to dinner instead?”

Dean glanced at Castiel, then turned back to Bobby and shook his head. “Castiel wasn’t planning to stay long. But thank you very much for the offer.”

Castiel nodded quickly, letting them both know he was fully planning on this being a short visit.

“Alright, I’ll just be outside with Dotty then.” Bobby said, tipping his hat to Castiel before slipping out quietly past them.

Cas let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and looked back at Dean.

“Let’s get this over with,” he sighed and made his way to where he remembered the kitchen was located.

Dean sighed as he followed Castiel. He didn’t want to get this over with. It was like breaking up all over again. He had to admit to himself that he felt actually jealous of the person Castiel was engaged to now. He wondered if Cas was truly happy.

He asked Cas to take a seat and set about making them coffee. “So, what’s he like? Or … well, I assume it is a he, right?” he asked, his back to Castiel.

Cas snorted. “I’m not the one with a daughter, Dean...” He said and winced when he saw Dean’s shoulders stiffen. “Yes, he’s a _he_. Balthazar… and he’s… he’s good for me. We met about five years ago at the office Christmas party and I haven’t been able to get rid of him since. He’s been… well, he’s been consistent.”

“Work Christmas party...” Dean snorted. “Maybe I should suggest to Bobby that we declare our Christmases ‘office Christmas parties’ since we nearly always have to go tow somebody’s car out of a snowbank during our gift giving. We could write off Dotty’s presents against taxes.” He turned slowly around and looked at Castiel. “And I never made it a secret I like both male and female. Dotty is the best that happened to me since … since … well ever.”

“Jesus, Dean… I didn’t mean--” Castiel sighed, running a hand across his face. “I didn’t mean anything against your daughter. I’m glad you have her, just… surprised is all. I didn’t think I would find you with a child. Where’s her mom?”

Dean gulped and turned back around. He needed to hide the emotions flitting across his handsome features, and pretended to be busy making sure the coffeemaker was working correctly. “She’s … She’s with the Angels, watching over Dotty with them,” he murmured soft and low.

“Oh, shit… I’m so sorry, Dean.” Castiel whispered, looking down at his hands. “It’s really none of my business, but I’m sorry for you loss.”

Dean nodded but refrained from answering, continuing to work on making their coffee. Castiel leaned back into the kitchen chair, suddenly feeling out of place. He glanced over at Dean, eyes gazing at the way his shirt pulled tight against his broad shoulders. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to tear his eyes away. This was a mistake… he had no business being here, interrupting Dean’s life when he could have just as easily mailed the papers.

He bit at his lower lip thoughtfully and reached forward to pull the divorce papers to him. “They’re pretty straight forward,” he stated, breaking the silence. The sooner this was over with, the better. “We have nothing to fight over, you know?”

Once the coffee was ready, Dean took the pot and two cups and moved over to the table. “I’m not fighting you.” he sighed as he set down the cups and poured them each some coffee. He sat down opposite Castiel and traced a finger over the papers. “So, what are you doing lately apart from going to Christmas parties and getting yourself engaged?”

Castiel rubbed an unsteady hand across his tired face with a sigh. “Dean,” he said softly, shaking his head. “We can’t do this, okay? We can’t… we can’t pretend that we’re friends. We can’t sit here and drink coffee and shoot the shit, okay?” He let his hand drop and looked across the table at Dean. “It hurts too much...” And the moment he said the words, he realized they were true.

He started to push his chair back from the table a bit, “Why don’t I just come back tomorrow for the papers, okay?”

“Cas! Please!” Dean suddenly reached over to catch his hands, almost automatically, but he stopped just short of them, realizing Castiel would not appreciate the gesture. “It’s been ages since we last saw each other, why can’t we catch up a little?” Dean sighed, and let his gaze drop to the papers. Yes it hurt, and it hurt badly enough for Dean to not want to sign those damned papers.

Castiel pulled his hands back across the table, his heart had jumped into his throat when Dean had reached out, almost grabbing them. “And whose fault was that?” He whispered, letting the anger overtake the hurt he was feeling. “I didn’t ask for this, Dean. It was a mistake, I get that. We were young and drunk and impossibly stupid… But it was still a decision we made together, and you’re the one that walked out on me after three months.” Cas felt the tears stinging the back of his eyes and he looked away, anywhere except for Dean’s face. “I waited for you, you know. Yeah, I left for school, but I still waited. I waited for you to call me, to text me, anything… And you never did. So now? I need you to finish what you started, okay? I need you to sign the goddamn papers so I can move on with my life.”

Dean took a deep breath, readying a retort, but he felt at a loss for words. Castiel was right, it was his fault. Everything was always his fault, but at least this one he admitted was his. He wished he could turn back time and make it up to Castiel properly. He wished he had called, or texted or just bloody posted those damned letters he’d written, instead of crumpling them up and tossing them away.

“At least tell me more about him, so I know I’m letting you go into a great life, the awesome life you deserve.”

Cas closed his eyes, licking at his lower lip slowly and biting back the snarky remark at the tip of his tongue. “He’s a writer,” he started, sighing gently as he opened his eyes again and looked at Dean. “He writes for the New York Times. That’s where I’m living now. He gets to write from home, so during the day he volunteers at a nearby school to help with student teaching for the art classes. He’s pretty good with kids, actually. He… He makes me lunches.” Cas smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t really know what you’re looking for. I’m… happy.” Cas tried to pretend the smile he offered Dean then wasn’t forced.

“Sophisticated. Writer and art teacher … wow,” Dean said and it was only halfway snarky. “I make lunches too … and breakfasts, and dinners.” he said, mumbling low under his breath. He sighed, he had no right to begrudge Castiel his luck. That was… as long as Castiel was sincerely happy, but he was still as readable as a book to Dean.

“I didn’t realize there was a competition.” Castiel spat, knowing he would succeed in riling Dean up.

Dean got up and took the papers. “I need to read those properly. Come back for them tomorrow.” he started walking out the back door. “How about you can pick them up before I take Dotty to school? Bobby will give you my address.” With that, he left.

“Fuck,” Castiel whispered to himself, running a hand through his hair before letting himself out of the house. From the porch, he could see Bobby throw a look his way before returning his attention to Dorothy, who was still struggling on the skateboard. He made his way over to them slowly, and after explaining the situation as briefly as possible, made his way back to his car with Dean’s address written on a scrap piece of paper in his pocket. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

Dean had run off to the back of the salvage-yard, where he sat dejectedly in the car he was rebuilding for himself in his spare time. He didn't know how long he’d been sitting there, crying, before Bobby found him to tell him dinner was ready.

He and Dorothy spent all evening with Bobby. Dean and Bobby talked until after Dorothy had fallen asleep on the couch. Dean had to carry her into his car.

He couldn't sleep at all that night. He lay awake and thought about Castiel, about his missed chances.

Bobby was right. Dean still loved Castiel. The guys he went on dates with all got written off after a single night, if it even lasted that long at all, because mentally he compared them all to Castiel and none could touch the standards he had set from his memories.

But Dean had missed his chance. He had had years to contact Cas, get back in touch with him. He was too late now. Castiel was engaged and their teenaged stupidity was the only thing standing between Cas and his new marriage.

But if he really loved Castiel he couldn't torture him by not signing the papers.

Or could he? Not torture him of course, but make him stay longer; spend a bit more time with him and Dorothy.

Dean chewed on his lower lip, contemplating. If Castiel truly loved this Balthazar? Then, no harm, no foul... In the end, all Dean truly wanted was for Cas to be happy. It wouldn't hurt to show Cas that he had grown up.

Dean thought back to their conversation at Bobby's kitchen table... There was no denying there were still strong feelings between them. Maybe for Cas that feeling was only anger. But if it wasn't? What if some part of Cas was still in love with him, with what they’d had? Dean felt his stomach roll in anticipation. He smiled for the first time since he’d walked out of the kitchen and away from the one man he had ever truly loved.

He owed it to Cas... He had a lot to make up for after the way he had treated not only their relationship but also Cas himself. He had freaked out back then, he could admit that now. He owed it to Cas to show him that he had never stopped loving him. And if Cas wanted it, still wanted Dean, he would make sure Castiel never second-guessed that fact again.

Even lacking a good night's sleep, Dean was smiling when he got out of bed and climbed into the shower. He was early, of course, but it was good because it gave him time to prepare a proper breakfast including bacon and eggs. He even had time to pick out a few more old photographs of him and Cas and place them in different spots around his place.

Now… all he had left to do was to hope that Castiel would accept the offer to stay for breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

 

  


"Hello?" Castiel answered his cell phone, his eyes squinting against the sudden brightness of the screen.

"Hey, baby." Balthazar's voice was low and sleep-ridden as it washed through the phone. "I missed your call last night."

"I'm sorry, my Dad wanted me to watch the game with him and I passed out right after..." He let himself sink back down into the pillows, pulling the comforter up over his head.

"I miss you." Balthazar said softly. "Are you coming home tonight?"

"I don't know yet," Castiel replied, a strange sensation flitting through his stomach. "I have to go see if Dean had time to read over and sign the papers this morning."

"Well, there's not much for him to really consider is there?" Balthazar snorted. "It's not like he wanted a marriage anyways."

"Ouch… Really, Balt?" Cas felt his anger rising, sudden and sharp.

"Babe, I didn't mean it like that. It's his loss and my gain, Castiel. I want this, I want you. For keeps…"

Cas sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry, this is just... Harder than I thought." He could hear soft breathing, but Balthazar was quiet on the other end of the line, waiting for him to continue. "I haven't seen him in ten years, and he almost acts like he's the victim. He... Fuck, he has a kid! And my Dad is so excited to have me here..."

"Just do what you need to do, Cas. And then hurry home. I trust you."

Cas' eyes flew open and he pulled the phone back to stare at the screen for a moment. What the hell was that supposed to mean?!

"I have to get to the school, but I'll call you later, okay? Love you, Cas."

"You too." Cas said to the empty line. He let the phone fall from his fingers and sighed. One day here and Castiel already felt like his world was falling apart. He closed his eyes, determined to get a bit more sleep when his phone's alarm started blaring, causing him to jump.

Just his fucking luck.

_“Are you ready?” Cas groaned, trying to ignore his boyfriend’s bouncing on the bed. Dean was never up this early, and if he was, he was never this excited._

_“Dean… it’s the ass-crack of dawn.” Cas groaned, his head pounding at the sound. “I am hungover, I don’t have to work, and it’s too early.”_

_“Well, if I had known my husband would be this grumpy in the morning…” Dean snorted, laughter in his voice. Cas froze, eyes flying open. Dean raised an eyebrow, smirking down at him, his green eyes sparkling. “Husband,… didn’t think I would ever say that.”_

_Slowly, Cas looked down at Dean’s hands pressed against the mattress where he was leaned forward, a simple gold band decorating his left ring finger. He felt his breath hitch and he untangled himself from the blankets, lifting up his own left hand to see a matching band._

_“We... “ He squinted at the band on his hand then back at Dean. “We got married?”_

_“Yeah,” Dean laughed, surging forward to press their lips together. “You don’t remember? We were playing that stupid drinking game Sammy loves so much and you told me you couldn’t imagine your life without me and wanted to spend every day by my side. I told you--”_

_“That you wouldn’t have it any other way.” Cas echoed slowly, memories breaking through the hungover fog he was in. He remembered the conversation… Hell, he remembered the kiss it had gotten him and the cheering Sam and Jessica had erupted in. Then more shots were poured and…_

_“I love you.” Dean broke through his thoughts, kissing him gently. Cas smiled against his lips, nodding his head. He didn’t remember, but did that matter? He'd meant every single word._

 

“Daddy, why’s there more pictures of you and Cas now?” Dorothy asked when they stood in the bathroom, Dean combing her hair.

“Because he was a very close friend and seeing him yesterday reminded me I had more photographs of us and I wanted to see him again, more, even if it’s only photographs.”

“Okay.” She rummaged through her box of scrunchies, setting the ones she wanted today on the side. “Can he be my friend, too? We both met him the same way, so I think he should be my friend too.”

“You should ask him yourself. I cannot make that decision for him.” Dean replied and set the comb aside. “French plait?”

“Yes, please.” Dorothy smiled at her father via the mirror. “But, I don’t know where he lives and I don’t have his phone number. How can I ask him?”

“He’ll come over. You can ask him then.” Dean told her.

“Okay.”

Dorothy beamed at her father and started to hum a song under her breath while he finished her hair. Right as he was putting the last scrunchie in her hair, the doorbell rang.

"Daddy?"

"Go ahead, you can answer it." He smiled at her, kissing the top of her head and picking her up off the stool she sat on to place her on the floor.

"Coming!" She screeched as she ran down the stairs to the front door. Dean paused at the top of the stairs and smiled when he heard his daughter’s delighted squeal. "Hi, Cas!! My daddy and I were just talking about you!"

"Oh?" Cas asked, looking up as Dean made his way down the stairs. "Saying all good things, I hope?"

Dorothy beamed at him and raised a hand, reaching for one of Cas's. Dean smiled when the other man took her small one in his with only a moment’s hesitation.

"Daddy and I were talking and I told him I wanted to be your friend like Daddy is your friend, but I had to ask you first," she babbled as she pulled him into the house. Dean felt his cheeks pink slightly as Cas stared at him.

"Well, I don't think we can exactly be the same friends as me and your Daddy," their visitor said slowly and Dean felt a pang as he watched his daughter's crestfallen expression. Cas immediately knelt down and smiled at her. "I think we can be a better kind of friends."

Dean felt another pang, but this time it was his face that fell. Not that he begrudged his daughter Castiel's friendship. But it felt like Castiel just didn't feel much for Dean at all. Was all the feeling he had left for Dean only anger? Dean sighed lightly.

"Will you stay for breakfast?" Dean offered, feeling a tiny bit like a third wheel with Dot and Castiel bonding here. "I've made bacon and eggs."

“Oh… please, Cas!” Dorothy gasped in childish enthusiasm, tugging on his arm. “We can have our first aww…umm… aw--fishul friend breakfast!” Dean watched a multitude of expressions pass over Castiel’s face before finally settling into a small smile.

“Yeah, I’ll stay.” He said softly, allowing Dorothy to lead him into the small kitchen where three place-settings were ready and waiting.

“Go and wash your hands.” Dean said to his daughter, pushing past them to the stove where he had kept the food warm. She scampered off and an awkward silence fell over the kitchen. “I figured… we could eat and I asked Bobby to pick up Dotty and drop her off at school this morning so we can talk.”

“Sounds fine, Dean.” Castiel said with a sigh, sinking down into one of the chairs at the table.

Dean took a deep breath and brought the food over to the table. Dorothy came bouncing back in and immediately sank into the chair closest to Castiel. Dean chuckled softly. It was nice to see that his daughter liked Cas already and that Cas, too, seemed to like her as well was a good sign. At least Dean hoped it was.

"Daddy makes great bacon." Dorothy said reaching for the plate. "Bacon is my favorite breakfast. My second favorite is Choco-Rice cereal." She helped herself to some bacon and Dean served her some eggs as well. "What’s your favorite breakfast, Cas?"

“I think if I had to choose one favorite breakfast… it would have to be waffles.” He smiled down at her and waited for Dean to sit down before serving himself some food. Dean handed him the pan of eggs and their fingers brushed for a moment, making Castiel gasp out loud and almost yank his hand away. He snapped his eyes up, meeting Dean’s own which were staring at him from across the table.

“Daddy made me waffles once!” Dorothy said, excitedly, the exchange between the two men going completely unnoticed by her. “Did your Daddy make you waffles when you were little like me?”

“Um, yeah… yeah he did.” Cas said, tearing his eyes away from Dean and giving the girl a small smile. “Every Sunday he made waffles.”

Dean knew Castiel had felt it too. There was still something between them and all he could do was hope that Castiel didn't take it as a cue to run off to New York again, but was willing to explore it together with him. Mentally he filed the waffle information away under 'important Castiel info'. If he was lucky, he might be serving waffles for breakfast one day soon.

"My other favorite breakfast is pop-tarts, but Daddy only gives them to me on special days. Next month I will get pop-tarts… Because it's my birthday next month! Will you come to my party?" Dorothy babbled excitedly. “Please?”

"Cas lives far away, little bear." Dean explained to her. "And he has work there, so he might not be able to come." Even if he wished Cas would come, or at least be interested in coming, he didn't want Castiel to feel too badly for saying ‘no’.

"Oh..." Dorothy said slowly, and they could see her mind racing at her father's words. "So if you don't live here, why are you here?" Dean's eyes widened at the question and looked at Cas quickly, opening his mouth to answer but the other man beat him to it.

"I am here visiting my Daddy," he said, meeting Dotty's eyes. "And I figured I would talk to your Daddy about some stuff while I was here."

"I'm glad you get to see your Daddy. I would miss my Daddy so much if I lived so far away!" She gasped and turned to Dean. "I couldn't live without my Papa Bear!"

Dean smiled softly. He was scared of the day when she wouldn't say that anymore.

"I'm sure he couldn't live without you either. I once thought I couldn't live without him." Castiel left it open if he meant his father or Dean, again having two completely different conversations with the two Winchesters.

Dean met Castiel's eyes shortly and sighed in his mind. "Dotty, you should eat, Bobby will be here soon to take you to school."

"Why is Uncle Bobby taking me?" Dorothy frowned, confused.

"Because Cas is here and I want to spend more time with my old friend." Dean bit his lip glancing at Castiel quickly.

"He is my new friend too. I want to spend time too, Daddy. I'll stay at home." Dorothy pouted.

“No, Dorothy.” Dean said, shaking his head. “School is important.”

“Plus, I’m sure you have lots of friends at school who would miss you if you weren’t there.” Castiel added, finishing off a piece of his bacon. Dorothy looked to be seconds away from crying, her lower lip quivering as she looked between the two men at the table. “Don’t you want to see your friends?”

“I guess so…” she said, looking back down at her plate. “Will you be here to see me when I get out of school?”

“Cas probably has to have dinner with his Dad tonight, honey,” Dean said quickly, saving Castiel from having to answer. “Finish up your breakfast, Dotty.”

The disappointed little one looked up at her daddy once more before nodding and starting to eat, the tone in her father’s voice stopping any further conversation. Dean could feel Cas watching him and he exhaled slowly, hating the dread he was already feeling in the pit of his stomach.

They ate in silence and Dean wondered what Castiel was thinking. Did he think Dean was too strict with his daughter? Or did he think Dean was not strict enough? Or was he not thinking about Dean at all, but thinking about who he'd invite to his wedding once he got the signed papers.

Dean sighed heavily, but before the wondering glances from both Dorothy and Castiel could be turned into questions the doorbell rang announcing Bobby's arrival.

Dot went to answer the door, while Dean prepared her lunch box.

"Morning, everyone..." Bobby came into the kitchen, a small smile on his lips at seeing Castiel at the table. Of course, that was why Dean had asked him to pick up Dotty, but it was still a nice sight.

"Morning, Bobby." Dean handed the older man his daughter's lunch box. "Thanks for doing this. I'm just gonna’ be on call today, if that's okay."

"Of course, like you need to ask, idjit." Bobby nodded as he stood behind Castiel’s chair and stealthily held up his crossed fingers for only Dean to see, then he turned back around sensing Dorothy beside him with her school bag.

"Ready, Uncle Bobby." She announced.

"Right, let's go, Princess. See you guys." Bobby tapped the brim of his omnipresent cap in a farewell salute.

Silence fell over the kitchen as soon as the front door clicked shut. Castiel cleared his throat after a moment, breaking the tension.

“Let me just... “ he started, reaching across the table to pile up the empty plates. He pushed away from the table, picking up the stack of dishes. “I’ll just… put these in the sink.”

“You don’t have to do that, Cas.” Dean took the plates from Castiel. “You’re my guest here.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Castiel said, but let Dean take the plates and dropped his hands to his side. He bit the corner of his lower lip, sinking back down into the chair he had just vacated. “I don’t know why this is so…” he trailed off, trying to find the right word but falling short.

“It … I wish it wasn’t, I wish it didn’t have to be.” Dean put the plates in the sink and moved back to the table. “Would you like more coffee?”

Cas nodded, offering Dean a small smile. He watched as Dean busied himself with making sure there was enough milk and sugar left at the table before he finally took the seat across from Cas, mugs of fresh, hot coffee steaming on the table before them.

Castiel swallowed hard, staring silently at his mug.

Dean held his mug with both hands. “I’m … “ Dean sighed, not sure how to start.

“Let’s just… get this… over with.” Cas said, eyes darting up to meet Dean’s for a second before landing back on his mug. “Then… we can both just get on with our lives.”

“Yeah, well… see… that’s the thing, Cas. For me to go on with my life,well… I’d love for you to be part of it. Dot wants you to be part of her life, and if this is all the Winchesters can get, then so be it, but it would already mean a lot to have more.”

“Dean, I …” Cas shook his head, eyes wide as he studied Dean’s face, realizing how serious the man was. “Don’t do this, Dean. This was supposed to be simple. Just… sign the papers, and then we can move on with our lives. I can’t… you don’t… Fuck, Dean, it’s been ten years. You don’t know me anymore, I don’t know you anymore.”

“And I deeply regret that. Cas, there’s really no explainable reason why I was stupid enough to walk away, I know that and I don’t ask you to forgive me. All I ask is for you not do to my daughter what I did to you. And I am asking for another chance to at least be your friend,” Dean took a deep breath and waited for Castiel’s verbal slap in the face.

“What do you want from me, Dean?” Castiel whispered after a moment. “I… what is it exactly that you want? I spent years after you left, thinking you just didn’t care, wondering if I could have done something, anything, to get you to stay. And I’ve finally gotten myself to a good place. Balthazar… he loves me, he cares about me, and he helped to fill that giant hole you left inside of me. And I can’t…” Cas paused, taking a deep breath. “I need to know what you want, Dean. Exactly what it is you’re expecting or hoping for. Because I can’t let… I just need to know.”

“I … I cannot tell you what it is exactly that I want, because what I _want_ I cannot dare to hope to get. But what I _hope_ for is for you, to not just walk back into my life now and then simply walk right back out of it.”

“That’s not fair, Dean. And you know it. Dot has only known me for a day, and although she may be confused, we both know she would be just fine with you and Bobby.” Castiel pushed his chair back from the table, fighting the urge to laugh at the absurdity of this entire conversation. “You can’t even begin to realize how badly I used to wanted you to say this to me, Dean.” He whispered, pushing up from the table. “But… I don’t know. Okay? I can’t give you an answer. I just… I need to go, okay? I just need… Fuck, I need to leave.”

“Castiel! I’m not using anyone! I’m not asking you to call off your wedding… Even if I would want you to be mine again, but that’s nothing but wishful thinking on my part.” Dean stood up too. “I am neither asking you to call off your wedding, nor am I asking you to move here and help me raise my daughter. I’m simply asking you to stay in contact.”

“I just… I need to go. I need to think. Can you give me that?” Castiel whispered, feeling himself step back when Dean stepped closer. He could feel his heart beating erratically in his chest, could feel himself seconds away from panicking.

Dean sighed softly and nodded. “Well… You know where to find me now.”

Cas nodded shakily before jerking away and with a clumsy, swift gait moved out of the kitchen and then quickly fled from the house. He told himself that being the one to run this time was only fair... only right. He felt trapped… frightened. Trying to ignore the confusion that settled itself deep in his stomach, he clambered roughly into the car. “Fuck… Fuck!” he shouted in frustration. Again and again he slammed his fists onto his steering wheel trying to regain control, before his shaking fingers fumbled the key into the ignition and he started up the car. He had no idea where he should go or what he was supposed to do now.


	4. Chapter 4

 

  


The ringing of his phone broke Castiel out of his thoughts, and he blinked a few times as he pulled the phone out of his pocket and looked down at the screen. He sighed, sliding his thumb across the screen and answering the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Angel,” Balthazar crooned over the other line. His voice usually made Castiel melt but now, caused something guilty and angry to swirl in his stomach. “What are you doing, baby? I called your dad, but he said you weren’t home.”

“I went to see Dean this morning about the papers.” Castiel replied, left hand falling to the side of the seat and finding the lever to let his driver’s seat fall back. He had left Dean’s house almost three hours ago, but had found himself circling between Dean’s house and his father’s house, unsure of what he should be doing. His phone ringing had finally given him reason to stop the car.

“Oh! Good!” Balthazar’s smile could be felt through the phone and Cas fought the urge to hang up on him. “So are you on your way home?”

“Not yet.” Cas said quietly, surprised at the silence he was met with. “Balt?” He asked, hearing a humming in response. “I figured I would spend a few more days with my Dad.”

“Oh, okay… I miss you.”

“I know.” Cas could feel the tension spreading between them, but was helpless to stop it. First he needed to focus on what was going on now, get his life in order, and then he could worry about and fix things with Balthazar. They would have the rest of their lives after all. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?”

“Sure, just be careful. Tell your dad I said hello again,” Cas told him he would and hung up, instantly feeling himself relax. He let his eyes fall closed, settling himself back in the padded leather and sighing deeply, again.

_I’m not asking you to call off your wedding. Even if I would want you to be mine again, but that’s nothing but wishful thinking._

Castiel felt his throat tighten as he replayed Dean’s words in his mind. Suddenly, he found himself laughing out loud. The sound strange as it reverberated through the vehicle and against his ears. Life always had a funny way of screwing him over.

He had gotten married at 19, and had to endure listening to everyone in their lives lecture and warn him about the things that would inevitably happen. But he didn’t care-- he loved Dean, couldn’t imagine his life with anyone else. He was completely entranced, wrapped up in everything Dean had to offer -- his laughter, his sarcasm and charm, his life. And now, at 29, he found himself in the same position -- lost in the possibilities that Dean was not so subtly offering.

And he was pissed. What right did Dean have to ask _anything_ of him? He came here to tie up loose ends, to close that chapter of his life and move on. He was finished explaining his mistakes, tired of the looks and the pity he received. He owed Dean _nothing_ but Dean owed him this.

Castiel was moving on, he _had_ moved on. And Dean was going to sign those goddamn papers so he could go back home and lose himself to a man that would not leave him after a few months.

Slamming the seat back up into a proper position, Cas turned over the ignition again and pulled back onto the road from the park-and-ride he had finally parked in. He drove back to Dean’s house, letting the anger pool and grow until he was shaking with it.

By the time he arrived at Dean’s door, he barely managed to turn off the car before he was out and sprinting up the steps, slamming his fists against the wood.

“What?” Dean asked, ripping the door open, shock clear on his face when saw who was on his step. Castiel pushed in, shoving Dean back through the door until they were pressed against the opposite wall.

“Fuck you, Dean Winchester.” He swore, kicking the door shut behind them. Dean’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but Castiel cut him off. “No,” He said, pressing a finger against Dean’s lips. “I waited for you, I let myself believe that you would come back. I loved you, Dean. And you broke me! And I wanted to hate you, I wanted to hate you for what you did to me. For years I imagined you coming back to me, explaining some cock and bull story that would have me falling back into your arms. Because that’s what I wanted, I always wanted you.

“And now I’ve finally gotten to a place where I can move on and be happy, and you want to ask me for something? You think you have that right? I need those papers signed, Dean. I need you to sign them so I can pretend, so I can pretend that this is over, so I can pretend that there’s nothing worth thinking about anymore. I need to pretend that you left for a reason, a good reason, and that you’ve moved on and you’re happy and there’s nothing left between us anymore.”

Dean’s eyes were swimming as they watched Castiel carefully and Castiel felt himself shaking now, for another reason. He had Dean pinned against the wall, his hands pressed in fists against Dean’s chest, and shame washed over him. He opened his mouth, trying to apologize, to say anything-- but couldn’t find the words.

“I never stopped,” Dean whispered finally. “Loving you, I mean.”

Castiel looked up, wanting to ask him _why?_ Why did you leave then? How did we get to this point? But he was suddenly pressed closer to Dean, their lips pressed together, his hands moved from Dean’s chest to his hips and he couldn’t remember how they got there. Dean reacted quickly -- or maybe he had initiated it, Castiel honestly couldn’t tell-- and his hands fell to Cas’ back, pulling him closer. Cas lost himself in the kiss, pushing his anger and hurt through his lips, hoping Dean got it. When they broke apart, both of them were breathing hard and Cas’ eyes were wide as they met Dean’s.

“Fuck.” He whispered, swallowing hard. “My fiancé…”

“Technically…” Dean said, his voice cracking and he cleared his throat once. “I’m your husband so…”

With a loud smack Castiel's hand landed flat on Dean's cheek.

Both men stared at each other equally shocked.

"Oh God! Dean! I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Castiel stammered.

Dean held his cheek, it was felt warm, almost hot.

"No, I deserved it. I am sorry." Dean looked down.

Castiel lifted his hand again, he stared at his palm for a moment, still in shock, and then he laid it gently over Dean's still covering the angry redness on his cheek.

Dean looked at him from under his lashes. "So sorry," he half-whispered.

Castiel drew closer. "Shhh," he whispered and leaned in. Their lips met again. The kiss was a lot gentler this time. Dean held onto Castiel’s hips gently, giving control over completely. Castiel felt himself melting against Dean’s lips and he sighed against them, content.

He couldn’t stop the small thought from forming at the back of his mind… _This. This is how it was supposed to be._ He sucked Dean’s lower lip between his teeth, pulling gently and was rewarded with a soft groan coming from deep inside Dean’s throat. Dean’s fingers tightened their grip on his hips, grounding them. Castiel couldn’t imagine being anywhere else other than right here, in Dean’s arms, _home._

“Cas,” Dean whispered against his lips, leaning their foreheads together. Castiel looked up and met Dean’s eyes. He opened his mouth, ready to surrender to this moment, to this feeling, to say he understood completely.

The ringing of his cell phone shattered through the sweet moment, bringing them painfully back into reality. Cas swallowed hard, releasing his hold on Dean and slipping out of his arms, eyes instantly trained on the floor.

“Are you going to get that?” Dean asked, clearing his throat. Castiel knew without looking that Dean was watching him. Castiel nodded, slowly dragging the phone out of his pocket and sliding the screen to answer.

“Hello?”

_“Cas? You still with Dean?”_

“Yeah... “ Castiel looked up, saw Dean still watching him, and tore his eyes away again. “Why? Everything okay?”

_“Yeah, ‘M fine. Just… your boy… Balthazar…”_

Castiel sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Dad. Is he still calling you?”

_“Not exactly… He’s… He came for a visit. He’s here.”_

Castiel’s eyes blew wide and he gasped out loud, panic suddenly fluttering through his stomach. “What?” He hissed, spinning around on his heel, pacing through the middle of Dean’s living room. “What do you mean he’s here? What the hell is he doing?”

_“Apparently he decided he missed you and if you were going to spend time with me… he thought it could be a family affair.”_

“Did you tell him where I was? He just… showed up at your house? He didn’t say anything to me!” Cas spun again, stalking back towards where Dean was still leaning against the wall. “I… I’ll be right there.” Castiel sighed.

_“Your boy is up in the shower… told him you were on your way back anyways, that you went to get stuff for dinner… so make sure you don’t come back empty handed.”_

Castiel hung up and shoved the phone back into his pocket, dreading the look he was going to get when he met Dean’s eyes. “I… fuck, this was a mistake. Balthazar is here… My fucking fiancé is here. I shouldn’t be upset about this…” He shook his head, pushing back the pang in his chest and the burning behind his eyes. “This was supposed to be so simple, just sign the papers and move on.” He didn’t know if he was talking to himself or to Dean anymore, but the words were out there, hanging between them.

“Maybe that’s not an option.” Dean whispered finally, watching the emotions play out across Castiel’s face.

“It’s the only one I have...” Cas replied, turning away from him and reaching for the door. “I need to leave and go greet my future husband and figure out how to tell him--” He trailed off, fingers clenching the doorknob.

“You don’t have to tell him.”

Castiel looked over his shoulder and Dean couldn’t decipher the look in his eyes. “That’s not how a good relationship is built, Dean.” Cas’ voice was hard, and he threw the door back and let himself out without waiting for Dean’s response.

As he sunk into the seat of his car, he allowed himself one minute to raise his fingers to his lips, tracing them. If he closed his eyes he could still feel Dean pressed against them, could still taste him on his tongue. Just another memory, painful and real, to add to the collection.

Dean had his eyes closed and sighed. Of course this Balthazar guy had to show up right now, when he and Cas were finally making progress in the right direction.

They were meant to be together, Cas and he. He had been too young back then, too scared. Had loved Castiel, still did, but married life had put too much stress on him, on his teenage life. He hadn't been ready. _They_ hadn't been ready.

But he was ready now, he was an adult now, he was living a steady, dependable life, knew his responsibilities and took care of them. He had a job, a house, a daughter, he had everything he could want, apart from his husband.

Dean pushed himself off the wall and went into his living room. Before he slumped onto the couch he retrieved the bottle of whiskey he kept in the high cabinet. He poured himself a glass and downed it in one big gulp. He poured another glass but stopped short of belting that down as well. The glass clutched in one hand as he exasperatedly dragged the other over his face.

It was only noon-ish and he was already drinking. He huffed a sad laugh thinking how he was turning into his own poor excuse for a father. He was barely thirty and already feeling like a failure.

No! No he couldn’t be like this. Not for his Dorothy, not for his little Angel. He wanted to be a good dad, he had been a good dad so far. He had promised himself the moment he found out Ashleigh was pregnant that he would do his damnedest to be everything that his father never was for him. He scoffed, shoving the tumbler of whiskey onto the table and pushing back deeper into the couch cushions. He laughed aloud as he thought of what his Dad might say if he could see him now, pining over a man John had never approved of in the first place.

_Dean was still bouncy while they waited at his parents’ front door. He held Cas’s hand, who was visibly more anxious about this dinner, but still couldn’t help the grin he had on his face, caused by Dean’s joy, Dean’s excitement._

_His mother opened the door and Dean practically bounced at her and hugged her. Mary raised an eyebrow and, over Dean’s shoulder, gave Cas an questioning look. Cas shrugged with a slightly embarrassed smirk._

_“Good evening to you too, my son.” Mary laughed softly as her eldest finally let go of her._

_“Hey, Mom, I hope you don’t mind that my husband and I come over for dinner unannounced.” Dean grinned at her._

_Mary frowned and blinked, then looked from Dean to Cas and back at Dean._

_“Your husband?” she asked to make sure she had heard him right. In reply, Dean just waved his hand at her, showing off his cheap wedding ring._

_She couldn’t hide the shock in her expression when she asked them to come inside. She ushered them into the living room and called for her husband._

_Dean and Cas had settled on the couch, holding hands, Mary sitting in one of the easy chairs opposite them, when John came in._

_“John, the boys have something to tell us.” Mary said, leaving no time for her husband to give an initial greeting to his son and his boyfriend first. John frowned a little in confusion, but sat down in the other easy chair, waiting for Dean and Cas to elaborate._

_“Castiel and I got married.” Dean beamed._

_“You -” John started._

_“We got married. Look.” Dean took Castiel’s left hand and showed his father their matching rings._

_“Dean… Just a ring isn’t being married...”_

_“I’m not a child! I know that! We had a ceremony. Sammy was our witness. We all signed our names. It’s official, Dad!”_

_“How? Do you even have a license, boys?”_

_“Garth is preparing the papers, we just have to go pick it up.” Dean explained._

_“That’s a bloody joke. For Christ’s sake, Dean, you are only nineteen! I forbid you to pick up those papers. This is nothing but a bad joke. I can’t believe you even got your brother involved in this.”_

_“This is not a joke! I love Cas, and I will always love him, this is what we wanted! You cannot forbid me from having this!”_

_“Darling, don’t you think you’re rushing things? I know you love Castiel, but you’re still so young. People change, Dean. Who you are today? It’s not going to be who you are tomorrow, or years from now. You’re still growing and changing and learning how to live in the world… You love each other now, but...” Mary trailed off, her eyes meeting her husband’s in a silent exchange._

_“And twenty two was so much older for you, Mom? This is ridiculous! Isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be about? To grow up together? To learn living with and loving and supporting the changes each of us go through? Isn’t our whole married life about change and growing up, making new experiences that might even help us change for the better?” Dean shook his head sadly._

_“Jesus Christ.” John swore, pushing off the couch and making his way to the small liquor cabinet at the back of the living room and pouring some scotch into a glass. “You’re children, and your irresponsible actions only further prove that you’re children.” He downed the liquid, slamming the glass onto the table and pouring himself another. “This… phase? I don’t know… Whatever this is, was supposed to be over... You both deserve to experiment, to live, to see how many notches you can get under your belt before you settle down. This is ridiculous, don’t you realize that, Dean? No one gets married at nineteen-year-old and ends up staying married. There’s a goddamn reason for that. And I highly doubt your fifteen-year-old brother comprehended this rash and stupid decision enough to be classified as a witness.”_

_Dean could feel himself vibrating with anger as he stared across the room at his father. Beside him, he could feel Castiel sinking back into the cushions, trying to shrink into himself, to make himself smaller and invisible. Swallowing hard, Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand and forced his voice to remain steady._

_“You’re either going to support me, support us… or you’re not.” He challenged, eyes tearing away from his father’s livid face to meet his mother’s, only to see tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’ve made my choice.”_

_“That’s not a choice, that’s childish rebellion.” John spat out in disgust, but Dean was already up on his feet, pulling Castiel along with him._

_“Fuck you! Fuck you both! We’re picking up that license!” He hissed with a trembling jaw as he stormed off with Cas, tears burning behind his eyes, threatening to fall any second._

Dean felt that old familiar burning behind his eyes and his gut clenched as he thought that maybe, just maybe, John had been right.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Chapter due to needing some good feels thanks to the Season Finale!!

  


After a quick stop at his dad’s favorite Chinese restaurant, Cas headed back to face the music. He wasn’t sure why Balthazar had chosen to come but he resented the implied distrust. Castiel pulled up to his dad’s house, a sigh immediately escaping his lips when he looked up to see Balthazar sitting on the porch steps, cigarette clenched between his teeth. He gathered the carry-out bags into his arms and pushed open the car door. He swallowed hard, took a deep calming breath or two and slipped out of the car, making his way over to his fiancé.

“Hey… didn’t know you were coming.” he murmured, trying to sound casual as he sat down beside him and accepted the small, smoke-filled kiss. “Smoking again?”

“Yeah, well… wedding nerves...” Balthazar replied, taking another long drag before dropping the still lit stub onto the ground and grinding it in with the toe of his boot. “Thought I’d surprise you. Been awhile since we’ve gotten away, you know? I told your work you would be an extra week… kind of expected you to be _here_ with your Dad though.”

“Yeah, well… I went to get some lunch stuff…” not a lie exactly he reasoned, “And, Balt, I was perfectly clear with what my purpose was in coming here.” Castiel replied, immediately on the defense. “This wasn’t supposed to be a vacation.”

Balt eyed him carefully and Castiel immediately felt guilty. He _should_ be thrilled, excited that the man he was planning on spending the rest of his life with had decided to hop onto a plane and surprise him.

But it was hard to be grateful and happy when his lips still burned with the feeling and heat of Dean pressed up against them.

“I’m going to help your dad with lunch.” Balthazar said slowly before pushing up off the steps. He leaned down to squeeze Castiel’s shoulder, letting his fingers trail down his arm before gathering the carryout bags from Castiel’s arms and disappearing inside to leave Castiel alone with his thoughts and his guilt.

“Fuck,” Cas whispered, dropping his head into his hands. His elbows dug painfully into the tops of his legs, but he didn’t care. He probably deserved the pain… He snorted at the thought. Not only had he just _cheated_ on Balthazar, he was now reverting into an overly dramatic and emotional teenager.

“You okay?” The voice behind him made him jump and he looked up to see his dad wiping his hands on a towel, coming to sit down beside him.

“Couldn’t be better.” Castiel tried to smile, watching as his father used the side rail to help lower himself down. “You?”

“You’d think I didn’t raise you or something…” his dad smiled, bumping his shoulder. “I can still read you like a book, kiddo, doesn’t matter if you’re almost an old man like me.”

“Oh yeah, 30 is ancient.” Castiel smiled, bumping him back. “I’ll be good… Balt is here and I’m apparently on vacation. So, good… right?”

“Didn’t think it would be this hard to see _him_ again, did you?” His dad’s voice was quiet and soft and Castiel refused to look at him, refused to see the look on his face.

“Doesn’t matter… I know what needs to get done.”

“Hmmm….,” was the only response he received.

“What is that supposed to mean? I have my fiance’ in your kitchen working on dinner. All that’s standing in our way now is a stupid mistake I made as a teenager. You should’ve seen Balt’s face when we went to apply for our marriage license and they asked for my _divorce_ papers.” Castiel laughed, the sound of it was pained, ripping through his chest. “Divorce papers. I didn’t even think I was legally fucking _married._ ”

“Do you remember what I said back then?” The question surprised him and Castiel whipped around sideways, staring at his dad. He opened his mouth but his Dad shook his head, cutting him off. “I told you it was going to be hard, that you were both going to change, and that relationships take work, every single day. No matter how old you are, Cas -- that’s how it’s going to be. It doesn’t matter if you’re with Dean or Balthazar or someone entirely different. All that matters to me, and all that should matter to you, is that you’re happy and proud to be working towards something. Not everyone can find love, not everyone can keep it, and not everyone deserves it. But you, Son…?” He reached out and grabbed Castiel’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “You deserve the world. You deserve to have someone besides your old man who realizes that and someone who _wants_ to give that to you. Never, ever forget that.”

Castiel swallowed hard, nodding once before his dad patted his hand and stood on shaky legs.

“Dad?” He whispered. “Thanks.”

“Wash up before you come in for lunch.”

Castiel bit his lower lip, waiting until the front door snapped shut, the hinges of the screen door screaming their protest. Inside the house, he had a man waiting for him, excited to spend this vacation with him. This was a man who was kind and thoughtful, who made him lunches and gave him backrubs after a stressful day of work. Balthazar was comfortable, a safe and happy ending that would give him a good, stable life. Cas had no doubt of that.

But across town, probably getting ready to pick up his little girl, was a man who had Castiel’s heart sewn into his front pocket. A man who was dangerous, who after all these years still held the power to hurt and destroy a very vital and soft part of him. Dean was terrifying and exciting at the same time and the only man he truly had ever _loved._

Tears sprang to the back of his eyes and he swallowed them down, refusing to let them fall. He cleared his throat and grabbed the railing to pull himself up. Seconds before he went inside, he paused and pulled out his cell phone. He hesitated a second more before sending a text and burying the phone away, shame and excitement battling for his attention as they both burned through his stomach.

He had a choice to make.

Dean hadn’t heard his cell phone announcing an incoming message. It had been sitting on the little entry table out in the foyer, while he’d been fighting tears and memories in his silent living room. When he had calmed down enough, he decided to take a drive. It was still too early to pick up his daughter, so he did a quick scan of his fridge and pantry and decided to do some grocery shopping before getting Dotty.

He grabbed his keys and shoved his phone into his pocket without checking it first, then headed out to his car.

Once he’d parked the car at the supermarket, he took out his phone to call Bobby, see if he too needed anything. Dean blinked at the screen once he had unlocked it.

Dean’s eyes wandered to the divorce papers he still had laying on his passenger seat, unread, unsigned.

Dean leaned back against the headrest and stared up at the ceiling, sighing deeply. Yes, they had to talk.

He sat back up straight and punched in a reply to Cas, then finally went on to call Bobby. He couldn't let events with Cas affect his daily life too much. His household and his daughter still needed him too much for him to let that happen. He had no time to curl up in bed and mourn the death of his marriage.

“How do you feel about two more for dinner?”

“Why hello to you too, Dean,” Bobby answered like a smartass, exaggerated sarcasm dripping through the phone. “It’s so nice to hear from you. Yes, I’m having a wonderful day, thanks so much for askin’...”

“Come on, Bobby,” Dean chuckled in embarrassment, smiling despite himself. “Want some company?”

“Yeah, yeah… Should I set up an extra setting, just in case?”

“Bobby… It’s not…” he stopped and sighed. “Do you think I should sign the papers?”

“Jesus, Dean.” Bobby fired back, and Dean was surprised at the amount of vehemence in his voice. “The two of you were always such idjits.”

“What?” Dean sputtered, shaking his head in confusion, as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. “What the hell are you talking about, Bobby?”

“You realize that he coulda’ just mailed you them damned papers?” Dean paused. Did that mean… “He obviously wanted to see you, and the two of you are going around and around in some fucked-up power dance ‘cuz you’re too afraid to actually talk about what happened back then and neither one of you wants to get off your damned high horse.”

“He’s engaged, Bobby...” Dean protested weakly, not even trying to hide the pain that filtered through his words. It didn’t matter anyway, this was Bobby and Bobby knew him better than anyone. “So I don’t know what you think--”

“Idjit,” Bobby cut him off. “Yeah, I got room for two more at dinner. But you better bring some night clothes for that girl of yours ‘cuz you and me ? …we’re gonna’ have us a chat. A long one….” He broke off the connection without waiting for a response.

  


Castiel closed his eyes, clicking the phone shut. Why did he say that? His heart was racing and he had to fight the urge to check the messages again, resist the need to stare at the screen until it highlighted with Dean’s name,

“You okay, baby?” Balthazar purred, walking up from behind and slipping his arms around Cas’s waist.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Castiel replied, shoving the phone deep into his pocket and leaning back into Balthazar’s embrace. “Thank you for helping my dad get lunch ready.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Balthazar said with a laugh. He kissed the side of Castiel’s face, his lips burning hot against Castiel’s cheek. “I hope you’re not still mad at me… I just wanted to surprise you…”

Castiel felt the shame burning deep in his stomach. He closed his eyes for a moment before turning himself in Balthazar’s arms, smile at the ready. He hadn’t even stopped to think about Balthazar what would be feeling… “I’m sorry, Balt… I know I was a bit of a jerk. This whole thing is just… more stressful than I thought. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“You can make it up to me later,” Balthazar replied, leaning in to capture Castiel’s lips in a kiss. “Did you end up getting everything settled with your ex?”

“Oh… Um, I think he’s still reading it over…” Cas shrugged. “I think I am meeting him for a beer tomorrow or something and he will give them to me then.”

“Oh! Great! I’ve always kind of wanted to meet him.” Balthazar’s smile was brilliant but it made Castiel’s blood run cold. “I’ll let your dad know we won’t be home tomorrow for dinner… maybe we can grab a bite to eat before we meet up with Dean.”

“Yeah, okay...” Cas nodded quickly, watching the wash of relief and excitement playing over the other man’s face. “That sounds good. I’m going… I’m going to take a shower.”

“Want any company?”

“No, I can entertain myself, you go entertain my Dad.” He hoped the response wasn’t as cold as he felt and he turned towards the stairs without waiting for a response.

Cas didn’t reply to the message, just slipped the phone onto the counter by the sink and sank down on the toilet seat, head in his hands. In some twisted way, each of these men had some macho need to size the other one up. He should just let the two of them have at it and he could stay at home and catch an easy night with Netflix… Sighing, he stripped and stepped into the heat of the shower, hoping the water could succeed in wiping some of his fears away.

“Where’s my little princess?” Bobby’s voice called from across the house the second Dean opened the door and let himself and his daughter inside.

“Uncle Bobby!” Dorothy screamed, dropping her backpack by the door and kicking off her shoes before launching herself into the living room where Bobby appeared. He opened his arms and caught Dot the moment she was in front of him, lifting her into the air and swinging her around in a circle.

Dean smiled widely watching the scene. Even though they saw each other nearly every day, Dot and Bobby were both equally excited to see one another. It made Dean happy to know his daughter had at least one older person in her life who really loved her with all his heart.

“Yes, my day was great thanks for asking, and a very nice evening to you too.” Dean offered cheekily stepping closer.

“You, boy,” Bobby said, pointing his finger at Dean as he set Dorothy back onto the ground. He pulled Dean in for a quick hug, clapping him on the back. “Go make a salad.”

“Oh, Bobby, just my specialty.” Dean fluttered his eyelashes like a girl and sighed jokingly.

Bobby smirked at him and reached down for Dotty’s hand. “I got something to show you, princess.” He looked over his shoulder at Dean again, “I’ve got the grill going… got some steaks and corn.”

“Good, at least that I’m really good at.” Dean grinned and went to the kitchen. “Dotty, don’t forget your homework,” he called over his shoulder.

“I won’t Daddy!” Dorothy called back and let Bobby lead her outside. They walked around to the back of the house to Bobby’s personal garage. Bobby held out a hand and stopped her, bending down on one knee, a smile on his face.

“Alright Princess… Before I let you in there, I’ve gotta give you a few ground rules, okay?” She nodded, her eyes wide. “Rule number one? Always wear a helmet and a seat belt. Rule number two? Make sure you let your Daddy know that your Impala is better than his is.” Bobby turned on his knees to open the door, revealing a re-done Power Wheels car, made up with parts to look like an exact copy of Dean’s ‘67 Impala except--

“Uncle Bobby! It’s pink!” Dorothy screeched, charging forward to run her hands over her new motorized car.

Dean stood in the kitchen, preparing the salad and thinking about Castiel. Great. Balthazar going to come along. He thought they were going to talk about what had happened earlier, the kiss, the desire for each other that had definitely been there. Dean hadn’t imagined Cas wanting him just as much as he wanted Cas.

“I’ve got her occupied for a while,” Bobby’s voice broke through Dean’s thoughts, making him jump. “Hope you didn’t want your daughter to wait until 16 to drive.”

“What? What?!” Dean looked at Bobby completely confused. “Bobby, she’s going-on-6, what did you occupy her with?”

“Nothing she can’t handle.” Bobby shrugged and the sound of a small motor engine revving before speeding off was suddenly heard from outside. “I made her wear a helmet…”

“I trust you thought that through…. and just want us to stay here and not run out there to see what she’s doing right now,” Dean gave Bobby a slightly worried, half-smile.

"She's fine." Bobby laughed and reached into the fridge for two beers. He popped them open and placed one beside Dean's cutting board. "So... Castiel is back."

“His fiancé is in town...too…now,” Dean replied uncertainly and reached for the bottle.

"Dammit, Dean, I got the tolerance of a saint when it comes to you and your brother, but I can't do this heart to heart thing for very long." Bobby clapped him on the shoulder. "Work with me, kid. How does Cas being back make you _feel?_ "

“Old, actually. It makes me realize it has been almost ten years since …since… well, that. It makes me feel angry with myself. I have been one dumb boy,” Dean took a swig of his beer.

"Are you going to sign the papers?"

“I should. He deserves me doing something right for once.”

Bobby nodded once, leaning against the side of the fridge. "Do you remember why you ran away Dean?"

Dean sighed and moved over to the table, he plunked down on a chair and dejectedly buried his head in his hands. “Does ‘being 19’ sound like a good enough reason to you?” he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No… it damn well doesn't. I've always been straight with you boys, and I ain't gonna stop that now," Bobby took the chair beside him, pausing to listen for Dotty's screeches of laughter and the low rumbling of the motor car before he continued. "You can't put an age on love, just like you can't for responsibility or wisdom. You left because you were afraid and because your Daddy taught you that running away from your problems was the best solution. Load of horse shit...if you ask me.

"You ran because you didn't want to end up like him, angry and hateful of the people you once loved. You let his words and opinions get inside your head and rot and fester there until you believed them and snapped, telling yourself Castiel would be better off without you because your Dad you’re your marriage was irresponsible. You left that poor boy without a backwards glance or explanation. Your leaving him like _that_ was the irresponsible thing… not your marriage.

"So when I ask you if you're going to sign those papers? I'm asking you to be responsible. I'm not telling you to sign them, I'm not telling you not to either. I think you need to take a hard look at this, Dean, and push aside all that crap from your parents and look at that boy you once claimed to love more than anything. Is he happier and better off without you? Is there any way you could make his life better? ‘Cuz you had your chance to make it about you, and this…? This is about him now. So think carefully, Dean," Bobby stopped and drained half his beer, watching Dean carefully across the table.

"You're a good man, Dean. You have a beautiful daughter. But you've always been missing something. Maybe this is it, maybe it's not..." Bobby trailed off, shrugging. "You'll make the right call. I got faith in you."

Dean looked at Bobby, listened to him carefully. He definitely had a point, Dean had to admit. Yes, he had been afraid. He had been terribly afraid. Once the high feeling of the new life as married couple had ebbed, he had been afraid he had done Cas wrong, he had thought he had forced himself and marriage on Cas in a drunken passion.

“Bobby …,” Dean ran his fingers over the condensation on the bottle neck. “How can I even know if he’s really happier and better off? I mean, he’s engaged. He has a guy in his life who wants him and who did it right, asked for his hand properly, took him to get a license, and here I am, making his life miserable by making him have to get a damned divorce first...” Dean drained part of his beer.

“You had a serious relationship too, Dean. And I know you cared for Ashleigh, but you weren’t _happy_ with her. Anyone who really knew you could see that.” Bobby shrugged, leaning back into the chair. “You seeing Castiel again?”

“Yes... Yeah, I’ll see him tomorrow night for beers. I’ll even meet that guy of his apparently.” Dean huffed a small laugh. “It was supposed to be us, talking, but it seems his guy doesn’t trust me and needs to watch over Cas when he’s with me.”

“Sounds kind of perfect if you ask me,” Bobby shrugged, taking another sip of his beer. “Cas can tell you all he wants about how happy he is and how perfect this guy is, but you’ll see their relationship first hand. Even if they’re jonesing it up? You’ll see.”

“Yeah. I will. I will see. I just hope it’s gonna be okay and not total disaster.” Dean emptied his beer.

“Time will tell,” Bobby chuckled and pushed away from the table. “I’m gonna start the steaks. You should go check on Dotty… If you want me to fix your baby up like hers? You just let me know.” He laughed and grinned devilishly as he headed for the fridge.

Dean raised an eyebrow. “What?! What are you talking about?” Dean pushed up from his chair. “Now I gotta’ go see what the heck you gave her.”

Bobby grabbed the steaks from the fridge and smirked as he heard the front door open. He heard Dean curse and yell _“Seriously Bobby?!”_ just as he stepped out of the back door towards the grill and started to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to everyone who has commented or left kudos. Keep them coming, feedback fuels the fire and there's really not better motivator out there :) 
> 
> Dani & Bibi xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback on friday! We appreciate it so much <3 Bibi & Dani

  


 

Dean parked his car and took a deep breath, steeling himself for the evening. He locked his car and entered the bar, easily spotting Castiel and this other guy at the back. He waved briefly as he wandered towards their table.

“Hey, Cas...” he smiled at him. “Hello. I’m Dean.” he introduced himself to the other guy and offered his hand.

“Balthazar,” the man smiled, accepting his hand and giving it a firm shake. He trailed his eyes over Dean quickly, giving a small nod before taking his hand back and leaning against the seat back.

Dean gave Balthazar a quick once-over look before sitting down as well.

“So, are you enjoying your stay in Kansas?” Dean asked.

“It’s a very… quiet place.” Balthazar shrugged. “But I’m just glad to get some time away from the normal hustle and bustle with Cas.” He leaned into Cas and Dean could see him slip his hand down Castiel’s leg, squeezing his thigh gently.

Cas cleared his throat, giving Balthazar a small smile that screamed ‘uncomfortable’. The waitress chose that time to appear and drop off their three beers and Balthazar removed his hand to accept his with a smile.

“Thanks, gorgeous.” He winked at her and took a deep drag of his beer. “So, Dan… or sorry, Dean was it? Do you like living in a small town?”

“Small? I wouldn’t call Lawrence ‘small’ exactly,” Dean replied, ignoring the small town slight and trying to sound as polite as he could. “But yes, I do like living here. I love my town, I love knowing where everything is and not having the whole world run around here with their cameras.”

“Well, you obviously haven’t gotten out much--”

“Balt,” Cas’ voice was quiet but sharp and he gave his fiance’ a hard look. “Compared to New York, everything’s kind of small, you know?” He said, turning his attention back to Dean before taking a sip of his own beer.

“Yeah, didn’t mean any offense...” Balthazar smiled across the table and lifted an arm to lay it across Castiel’s shoulders. “Cas told me that I shouldn’t start a pissing contest. Just forgot myself for a moment, you know? Cas is pretty great, I let it mess with my head sometimes. But, we all made our choices.”

Cas closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he settled his gaze on Dean, silently begging him not to start something.

“Yes, of course, compared to New York, anything would be small. But that’s what I like about this place. It’s a big town, but not as huge as New York. Anyway … um, so what are you going to do while you’re here in our town?”

“I have a few things in mind,” Balthazar laughed, squeezing Castiel’s shoulder and raising his eyebrows. Cas’s cheeks flamed red in embarrassment and he mumbled something that Dean couldn’t hear which caused Balthazar to laugh again.

Dean tilted his head, looking at Castiel, he sighed ever so softly.

“I need…” Cas shook his head and pulled uncomfortably out of Balthazar’s embrace. “Balthazar, can you come with me for a second? I left something in the car.”

“Here…baby,” Balthazar said simply, sliding the keys over to him, a smile plastered on his face.

Dean sighed and shook his head, just lightly enough so the two other guys wouldn’t notice. It was sad. Cas tried to subtly tell his fiancé they needed to talk in private, but he either didn’t understand it, or just laughed it off. Either way, Dean didn’t like Cas being dismissed like that.

“Okay… I’ll… be right back.” Cas stammered slowly, taking the keys, having no other choice than to walk away from the table.

“I was wondering, Cas never told me, how did you pop the question?” Dean smiled.

“Oh, well I took him to this great steakhouse in Time Square, one owned by Gordon Ramsey I think… anyway, I had them serve us table-side and while they were distracting him with serving, I got down on one knee and asked him. The entire restaurant was cheering for us.” Balthazar smiled, cocking his head as he looked at Dean. “And you? How did you propose to Cas? Funny that we have _that_ in common, isn’t it? Though… I didn’t need to be drunk to know what I wanted…”

“I didn’t have to put Cas in a situation where saying ‘no’ would have been a major embarrassment. I didn’t have to pop the question really. I just looked him in the eyes and he looked back and we shrugged and said, ‘okay, why not?’”

“Romantic.” Balthazar snorted. “But… we all know how well that turned out so…”

“It, at least, wasn’t overblown. Did you have champagne with rose petals inside? I bet you even had the ring inside the champagne glass.”

“No, actually,” Balthazar glared across the table. “Cas likes a man who is _clear_ and able to _demonstrate_ his love _personally._ For some strange reason, he likes _reassurance_ and for someone to _tell him_ what they’re feeling. So no, I didn’t hide the ring in anything. I displayed it to him myself so he knew, without a doubt, that I wanted him for the rest of my life.”

“Well… sorry… it would just have fit the cliché so well.”

Balthazar opened his mouth, ready to fire another mean-spirited retort when Castiel suddenly made his reappearance and slipped back into his seat. Cas looked between the two of them, shaking his head before downing half of his beer. “At least you both look like you’re in one piece…and no blood spatters…” he muttered.

“We’re fine, baby.” Balthazar smiled, kissing Castiel’s forehead and looking over at Dean. “I’m perfect, actually. Dean and I were just talking about the good old times.”

“I gotta’ go use the bathroom.” Dean sighed and downed half his beer before he got up. At least he could give Cas his chance for a private talk now, since his fiancé had been too dumb for that.

Cas watched him walk away from the table and sighed, turning to Balthazar. “You’re awful at taking a hint.”

Entering the bathroom Dean leaned on the sink for a while just staring at his reflection in the mirror. The Castiel he remembered hadn’t liked big shows. He had even told him once, that he’d preferred a private setting, like a nighttime picnic at the lake. Dean had often regretted not having done that. He also remembered Cas saying for their wedding that their closest friends and family would be all he’d want in attendance. Well, they’d only had had Sammy and Garth, so that had been pretty close to Cas’s wishes. Dean wondered how many hundreds of people were already on Balthazar’s list.

“Hey,” Cas said softly, pushing open the bathroom door and meeting Dean’s eyes in the mirror. “I… He’s a bit intense sometimes. I told him to tone it down some…”

“Cas…” Dean turned to look at him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to start anything…. He … I was feeling provoked.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Dean.” Castiel shook his head quickly, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I let his comments punch my buttons. I shouldn’t have let him get to me.” Dean hung his head.

“Dean, please...” Cas shook his head and took a hesitant step forward. “You don’t…” he sighed, letting his outstretched hand fall. “Come back to the table so we can get this night over with.”

“I’ll be right back. I wasn’t only going to let you talk, I actually do have to make use of this place.” Dean smiled softly at Cas.

“Alright,” Cas smiled back, turning to leave. “Thank you… for being so understanding.”

“Sure, Cas.” Dean said, fighting down the urge to pull Cas back and pin him against the wall with a kiss.

Cas slipped out of the bathroom and returned to their table, leaving Dean alone once again.

After he’d finished what he’d really come to the bathroom for, Dean returned to their table too, smiling at the two men as he sat down.

“Hey,” Cas said, giving him a small smile when he appeared. “Balt ordered us all shots…” Dean could see by the small frown on Cas’s face and knew he had tried to talk Balthazar out of it.

“I think we could all use one...” Balt muttered, his bravado significantly lessened since Cas had talked to him.

“Um, I’m sorry, I pass. I’m not much for shots these days, Dorothy … changed things,” glances at Cas with a smile.

“Dorothy?” Balthazar asked, picking up his shot and knocking it back. He shrugged and reached across the table for Dean’s shot, knocking that one back too. “You got a girl back home?”

“Yes.. I do. I assumed Castiel had told you about my girl.”

“No, he didn’t.” Balthazar beamed, assuming that ‘a girl’ took Dean out of the picture. “Well, good, I’m glad to know you’re happy.”

Cas cleared his throat, and looked away from Dean, a smirk on his face.

“Oh yes, I’m very happy. I bring her to school every morning, though she has her own car now.” Dean said, subtly smirking back at Cas.

Balthazar’s eyes scrunched together in confusion and he looked between the two of them. “You… you’re seeing someone that young?” he blurted out after a moment, staring at Cas with wide eyes. “He’s dating someone in… college?”

“Preschool… actually.” Dean said, doing his very best to seem sincere and not laugh out loud.

Cas burst out laughing and turned to his fiance’, shaking his head. “He has a daughter, Balt.” He said softly, watching as Balthazar’s face went from confused to pissed off.

“Right.” He said, snagging Castiel’s untouched shot. “Glad you two can have a good laugh together, really.”

“Oh, come on, I’m sure Castiel told you that.”

“No, actually,” Balthazar sat up straighter in his chair, his frown replaced with a smirk as he stared Dean down. “Castiel and I have much more interesting things to do with our time together than to talk about _you_.”

“Balt!” Cas turned his body quickly, mouth open but Dean cut him off.

“Actually, I don’t think so, Balthazar. If you did, you wouldn’t be here right now, in this small Kansas town, so far away from New York.”

“Listen here, you little shit!” Balthazar whispered harshly, his voice low as he glared at Dean from across the table. Cas moved to push him back, pulling against his leather jacket, but Balthazar ignored him and shook him off. “I don’t have to answer to you! I don’t give a shit about you, this stinking town, of your fucking life. I am here because my future husband had some business he needed to take care of so we can get married and move on and he doesn't have to think about the horrible mistake he made when he was a teenager.

“And we don’t talk about you-- there’s no need. There’s only so much you can say about a man who left you high and dry and _destroyed_ you before the story gets old. Bottom line, _Dean Winchester?_ You let go of the best damn thing you were ever given in your fucking pathetic life. You let him go like he was _nothing_ and I can promise you that I will spend the rest of my life letting him know and reassuring him that he is everything while you go home at night alone and pine after lost dreams.

“I don’t need your shit, I don’t need to sit here and challenge you, because I’ve already won. After you man-the-fuck-up and sign those papers? You’ll be _nothing_ except a distant memory!” Balthazar finally belted down Castiel’s shot, slamming the glass down on the table. What had started out as a hiss across the table had increasingly gotten louder as he went on, and silence now filled the bar as everyone had turned around or peered from beneath a veil of long hair to stare at their table.

Castiel flushed a deep red, his eyes swimming with unshed tears as he stared at his fiance’, embarrassed and angry.

“Get up.” Cas snarled quietly, shoving Balthazar’s chest hard, causing him to almost fall out of the seat. “Get up!” His voice cracked, and Dean could hear the panic in it. “Get up! We’re leaving, now!”

“I’m sorry, Cas...” Dean looked helplessly at Castiel. He had nothing more to say to Balthazar. He wouldn’t do anything that might further embarrass the man he’s loved for so many years. All he could do, all that mattered to him right now was that Castiel know he was sorry that the evening had gone this badly. Dean had meant to be friendly, amicable with the man his soon-to-be-ex-husband was going to marry, it hadn’t been his fault the other man had had other plans.

Cas turned away and shoved Balthazar out the door, disappearing into the night.

Dean shook his head and got up sighing. He went over to the bar and apologized to the bartender for Balthazar’s behavior. Hopping on a stool he ordered another beer and pulled out his phone.

 

He finished his beer and left the bar to head over to the salvage yard, tucking his phone into his pocket so he could focus on the quick drive to home. His heart was still pounding in his chest, and it ached for Castiel.


	7. Chapter 7

 

“Go to sleep,” Castiel hissed in the darkness, shoving Balthazar’s leg off of himself for the third time. “I am not very happy with you right now.”

“But Cas,” Balthazar whined, trying to climb up over him and losing his balance, plummeting back into the pillow.

“You embarrassed me. You embarrassed me in front of Dean and that whole fucking bar.”

“Who cares about Dean or those people? It’s not like you live here...” Came the muffled, slurred response.

Castiel shot up, throwing the covers off his body. “This is my hometown, Balt. My father lives here, people I grew up with live here. It _matters_ to me.” Balt rolled his eyes and Castiel snapped. “Fuck you, Balt. I didn’t ask you to come here and I definitely didn’t ask you to make me look like a moron. Sleep it off and call me in the morning.” He reached down for his discarded jeans and pulled them back on before yanking his cell phone and charger from the wall.

“Drama queen…” Balthazar muttered from the bed, seconds before Cas slammed the door.

“Good thing no one’s sleeping.” His Dad’s voice made him jump.

“Fuck, Dad, I’m so sorry…. I didn’t mean to wake you…”

“Well… your boy there sounds like a herd of elephants when he’s drunk.” Cas could see his smile in the moonlight and felt his shoulders relax. “You going out?”

“Yeah, I… I don’t want to be here right now. I’m sorry, Dad.”

“I’ll give him hell in the morning, lots of banging of pots and pans.” His Dad smirked and squeezed his shoulder. By the time he got to his car, he had his phone out and dialed before he could even comprehend what he was doing.

“Cas?”

“Dean, I know it’s one a.m… and I’m really sorry, I don’t know why I’m calling and bothering you… I just.. .I didn’t know… I don’t know who else to call, you know?” Cas stumbled over the words, slipping into his car and starting the engine.

“ _Are you in your car?_ ” Dean’s voice was thick with sleep and had Castiel’s stomach flipping.

“Yeah, couldn’t stand to be with Balthazar anymore tonight. Fuck, not that I have anywhere else to go…”

_“Come here, I’m at Bobby’s.”_

“Dean…. I shouldn’t…” But right then and there he realized just how much he wanted to. The thought of submitting and crawling back into bed with his fiance’ made his stomach churn and bile rise to his throat. But the idea of driving over to Dean? Of collapsing into his arms and spilling all of his fears and worries and problems like he had every day for most of his young adult life? Well… “You don’t mind?”

_“I’ll see you in five.”_

  


Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he got out of bed and headed downstairs to let Cas in.

He felt miserable. Not because it was 1 a.m. and Cas had awakened him, but because Cas was miserable, because Cas didn’t want to stay with his fiancé but rather stay with the man he had come to with divorce papers to sign.

That was really insane. Dean shook his head and sat on the couch, watching out the window for Cas’s headlights when he arrived at the yard.

Dean felt really bad for Castiel. As much as he wanted to rejoice in the fact that Balthazar was a real dick and had given him grounds to lay the foundation for his reasons for not signing the papers, he just couldn’t take advantage of that. He couldn’t rejoice in Castiel’s misery.

_“Back earlier than I would’ve expected… Dotty went to bed about half hour after you left… finally.” Bobby said as he found him in the kitchen. Without needing to ask, he pulled two beers from the fridge and sat in the seat beside Dean. “What happened?”_

_“They left early. Balthazar ...” Dean took one bottle and just held it. “Son of a bitch! Bobby, I had hoped he’d be an asshole, so I might have a chance to get my Cas back, but … whoa, he’s … he’s just such a huge dick… I have no idea how Cas even got as far as getting engaged with him.”_

_“Hmmm,” Bobby said after a moment, taking a sip of his beer and leaning back into his chair to watch Dean. “So he was an ass… did Cas like that, or is he unhappy?”_

_“Cas was so embarrassed by him. It was horrible to watch him suffer. And … damn, he can’t even take hints. Or maybe he can and is just such a damned dick that he ignores them. I wanted to punch him. If it had only been that dick and me, I probably would have.”_

_“Poor Cas… Wonder how long he’s been dealing with that guy... “ Bobby bit his lower lip in thought, clearing his throat once before continuing carefully. “You know… he probably settled… found the first person after… well, you know.”_

_“You think so?” Dean looked at Bobby surprised and yet understanding completely what he was trying to say. “But that he’d go ahead and marry the first guy who’d ask him …? He’d had a bad experience before,” Dean glanced down in embarrassment, “shouldn’t that have taught him not to do that again?”_

_Bobby shrugged and let out a short chuckle. “Better than you… who barely tried to have another relationship. Don’t get me wrong…” he hurried to finish, seeing the look on Dean’s face. “You cared for Ashleigh, but if she hadn’t gotten pregnant with that little angel you have upstairs? It wouldn’t have lasted as long as it did and you know it. You never got over Castiel, you never found trying to find someone else worth it. Neither one of you ended up behaving in a healthy manner, relationship-wise…”_

_“So … what do you suggest I do now, wise old man?” Dean asked, with a playful smirk meaning no offense. “I can’t just go and say, ‘hey Cas, your boyfriend sucks, come back to me’ …”_

_“No, but you can show him what it means to be loved. You have to prepare yourself Dean that Cas may never come back to you, he doesn’t owe you anything. But you owe him.” Bobby gave him a look before taking a sip of his beer. “You owe that young man what you owed him years ago… respect enough to show him how truly special he is and that he deserves to be treated that way. If he comes back to you? I wish you both happiness. But if he just finally gets his self-worth back and is happy? I’d say you did a damn fine job.”_

_Dean nodded. Bobby was right, as always. “Any suggestion on where to start?” he asked with a hopeful smile._

_Bobby reached up and adjusted his hat, eyebrows raised. “You got your work cut out for you, kid.” He laughed. “I think first step is getting some sleep and we can talk about it more when Dotty goes to school tomorrow.”_

_“Okay. Sleep sounds good.”_

It felt like only a few minutes had passed since he had crawled into Bobby’s spare bed and fallen asleep when his phone started ringing. He leaned back into the couch cushions now and was just contemplating getting up to start a pot of coffee when the glare of headlights poured in through the windows, alerting him to Cas’s arrival. He pushed off the couch and made his way to the door, opening it just as Cas was about to knock.

He smiled at him softly and beckoned him inside.

“Hey.” he said, barely above a whisper so he wouldn’t wake up Bobby or Dot. “Come in.” His instincts told him to hug Cas tightly and tell him that everything was going to be fine, but his senses told him to give Cas space and let the man come to him in his own time.

Cas nodded once, slipping past Dean into the house. He cleared his throat once, his stance screaming how uncomfortable he was. “I’m sorry, Dean...” he whispered, shaking his head. “You were probably sleeping… I shouldn’t have called you and woken you up. This is my shit to deal with, not yours.”

“Cas, don’t be silly, it’s totally fine you called. This isn’t only your shit, I had my part in it and I’m sorry about that.” Dean laid his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, always ready to draw his hand back in case Cas didn’t want him to touch him.

Cas let out a short laugh, trying to offer Dean a reassuring smile over his shoulder. “I’m so pathetic.” He shook his head again, hesitating a moment before pushing past Dean and into Bobby’s living room to sit down on the couch. “I still am sorry for the things he said to you, I’m sure when I left to go to the car the conversation was more than a little unpleasant.”

Dean followed Cas into the living room. “It was actually kind of more okay than when you came back from there.” Dean gave a small smile. “I was asking him about his proposal, out of genuine curiosity. But he then started to pick at how I hadn’t proposed at all, except to get you drunk… trying to get to me...” Dean sighed. “I’m sorry I let him.”

Cas snorted, watching as Dean lowered himself to sit beside him. “Yeah, the ‘proposal of the century’ as he called it. God, I wanted to melt into the floor. The entire restaurant was staring at me, I think someone even took our picture… I was mortified and Balthazar didn’t even look at me, he just looked around the room to see how many people noticed...” Cas rolled his eyes and then flushed. “I shouldn’t be saying this to you or talking about him with you. Even after ten years, I can’t manage to put a filter on with you.”

Dean smiled, feeling slightly proud that he did indeed still know Cas well enough to know that that hadn’t been the proposal he’d have wanted. “It’s … am I making you uncomfortable? See, you don’t have to tell me anything, I’m just happy to be there for you.”

“That’s the problem… I am too comfortable with you,” Cas replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Words just keep pouring out. You don’t want to know about Balthazar anyway…” He leaned his head back against the couch. “How did everything get so fucked up, Dean? I don’t know why I ever wanted to be an adult. Those old teenage problems seem so easy compared to my adult problems.”

Dean huffed an amused laugh. “Not just yours, Cas, not just yours. Do you ever wish we could be back in Math, trying not to fall asleep with that monotone voice of Mrs. Finch?” Dean asked, not wanting to press Cas on the Balthazar topic, though he was curious what Cas would have to say. But, honestly, he was also happy to not think about that dick and simply to enjoy Castiel’s company again.

“Yeah, actually I do,” Cas laughed, the sound breaking something inside of him and his smile was genuine for the first time that night. “I liked her, couldn’t stand to listen to her, but she would write me hall passes with no questions asked so I could sneak out and meet you by our lockers for a quick make out session.”

Dean laughed softly. “Oh, yeah, she was great that way.” He tried to ignore the pang in his chest when Cas mentioned their make out sessions. At the same time, he couldn’t be any happier that Cas was comfortable enough to talk about their past like this. “Oh God, do you remember that one time when that Biology teacher - what was his name? - when he busted us that one time in the gym locker room?”

“Yes!” Cas gushed, eyes wide and a smile on his lips as he turned to Dean. “He called our parents and I was so afraid to go home. I thought my Dad was going to ground me for the rest of my life… Instead he sat me down to have ‘the talk’.” Cas chuckled again, leaning slightly closer so their shoulders brushed. “I had to tell him that the talk was already unnecessary… talk about embarrassing….” They fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. “Hey Dean?”

“Yes?” Dean asked and gazed up at Cas with a soft, contented warmth reflected in his eyes.

Cas cleared his throat once again and shrugged his shoulders gently. “I just… I know things didn’t end up exactly how we imagined them to but… I don’t regret any of it,” He nodded his head once, meeting Dean’s eyes. “I’m glad that you were my first… my first boyfriend, my first lover… I just… I thought you should know that.”

Dean didn’t say anything, he just smiled. He was so thankful for Cas’s words. To know he didn’t regret their past was like a huge gift, like Christmas and a birthday rolled into one. No, …. all his 30 birthdays so far altogether. His eyes lit up and he hugged Cas lightly.

Cas hugged him back, wrapping his arms around Dean’s back and squeezing gently. When they broke apart, he shifted and leaned against Dean’s side, his head resting on Dean’s shoulder. He sighed, content. “Everything happens for a reason,” he murmured after a moment, stifling a yawn. “I don’t know if we would’ve been happy together or not… but I’m glad you got your daughter, she’s really beautiful, Dean.”

“Thank you, Cas. I’m very glad, too, that I have her,” he nodded. “Hey, you know, earlier, when I said she had her own car? She actually has. She got it from Bobby yesterday.”

Cas raised an eyebrow, looking up to see Dean gazing down at him, an amused expression on his face. “Bobby got her a car? Really ?! Can she even reach the pedals?”

“It’s a Power Wheels car. He’s redone it for her to look like mine, but he painted it frigging pink. Can you believe it? He got my girl a damned pink Impala! There needs to be a law against pink Impalas.”

Cas’s shoulders shook with laughter as he pictured the pink little car. “I don’t know… maybe you should ask Bobby to paint your Impala pink. It’s obviously in fashion.”

Dean nudged Cas’s shoulder. “You, Mister, are horrible! You can sleep on the floor, the couch is too good for you,” Dean chuckled.

“Oh, that’s definitely a good way to treat your guests.” Cas rolled his eyes, pushing away from Dean and leaning on the other side of the couch. He leaned on one of his arms and looked at Dean, expression serious. “You really don’t mind that I came here?”

Dean shook his head. “No. No I don’t mind,” he reassured Cas. “More like the contrary. I’m kind of honored you’d come here, rather than run off to some motel or something.”

Cas smiled, trying to fight back another yawn and failing. “Yeah… I don’t know…” he shrugged, leaning back into the couch and letting his eyes fall closed. “I didn’t even realize I had dialed your number until you answered the phone. Just… came naturally I guess. Can’t wait to tell Balthazar that,” he snorted.

“Oh, he’ll be thrilled.” Dean got up. “I’ll get you a blanket. Would you want some water or anything?”

“No, blanket’s fine.” Cas smiled at him and watched as Dean pushed up off the couch in search of the closet. He sighed to himself softly, toeing off his shoes and kicking them so they were half under the couch, out of the way.

Dean came back fairly quickly with a blanket and a couple of big fluffy pillows. He remained standing this time and handed Castiel the blanket and pillows. Grinning happily he plopped the pillows in Cas’s lap. “Snagged you a couple of Bobby’s great goose-down pillows,” his tired green eyes sparkled proudly. “Anything else you need, just ask me.” He smiled.

“Thanks, Dean, really.” Cas smiled, accepting the blanket as well and laid it out over the sofa and himself. He looked up towards Dean, eyebrow raised, “Is this ‘goodnight’ then?”

Dean swallowed once, shrugging his shoulder before sinking back down beside Castiel on the couch. “Unless you want to talk some more?” Dean asked, giving Cas a small smile.

“I’m all talked out I think...” Cas said, letting his eyes fall closed and leaning back against the couch. “It’s been too long of a day.”

“I hear that,” Dean scoffed. Starting with breakfast yesterday morning and everything that happened over the past two days, he never would have expected to be sitting on Bobby’s couch at nearly two in the morning, talking with Castiel like it was normal. He felt relaxed, content, comfortable sitting beside him but lack of sleep was catching up with him and he yawned, leaning back into the couch.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” Cas said softly, sleep already threading into his voice, and Dean nodded. He would get up in a second; he was too comfortable right then. Just another minute…


	8. Chapter 8

“Daddy?”

Castiel blinked, confused. _Daddy?_ His neck and his back were stiff, screaming as he shifted and blinked again, taking in the appearance of the room. He was still at Bobby’s house, sitting up on his couch… He groaned as his neck whined in protest, one side of his body hot. He looked down and saw Dean leaning against his side, head resting on his shoulder, snoring softly. His eyes widened as he glanced forward looking for the source of the voice he’d heard. Little Dorothy stood near the sofa, quietly watching them with her head cocked to the side, a confused expression on her face.

“Daddy?” She spoke again, louder this time, her eyes flicking between her Dad’s sleeping form and Castiel who was awkwardly staring at her. “Why did you and my Daddy sleep in the living room?” she asked.

“Dean…?” Cas uttered softly. No reaction. “Dean…” Cas hissed more insistently. Non-plussed he elbowed Dean suddenly and clumsily pushed off the couch, letting Dean pitch sideways, the sudden movement making the other man jerk awake.

Dean groaned deeply with aggravation and opened his eyes a bit. “What?” he grunted as he rubbed one eye.

“Daddy…” Dorothy moved forward, eyeing Cas curiously as she climbed up onto her father’s lap. “I looked for you in your room but you weren’t there…”

“Hmm?” Dean mumbled sleepily and opened his eyes more, instinctively laying his arm around Dotty to keep her from slipping off his lap. “Mor’nin little bear...” he muttered. He glanced at Cas silently mouthing ‘what time is it?’. “I … we just fell asleep here. Like you do sometimes, but we had no daddy to carry us to bed, like you do, spoiled little brat,” he joked and kissed Dotty’s head.

“Silly Daddy,” Dotty sighed, shaking her head sadly at them before turning her attention to Cas. “Are you staying for breakfast?” Her voice was loud and excited, her eyes widening.

Cas opened his mouth to respond but all that came out was a laugh when he saw that Dean’s eyes had the same wide-eyed, hopeful expression as his daughter, two sets of brilliant green eyes staring at him, expectantly. “No one could ever doubt this was your daughter,” he reassured Dean before sinking down onto the couch again, careful to keep his distance from Dean. “I can stay for a quick breakfast, but then I have to go home.”

“Come on,” Dean said, gripping his daughter’s waist and lifting her off his lap as he got up, “You better help me with breakfast then, so Cas doesn’t have to wait too long for some food.” He settled her on his hip and went off to the kitchen.

Cas watched them for a moment, a soft smile on his lips as he heard the little one asking Dean to set her down on the countertop. A voice clearing its throat made Cas jump and he looked up to see Bobby had come down the stairs.

“Morning, Cas,” the older man said, giving him a soft smile.

“Hey, Bobby…” Cas felt his face flush as he realized what Bobby might be thinking. “I just… I needed a place to crash and… I hope you don’t mind…”

“You have always been welcome here, nothin’ ever changed that.” Bobby shook his head and crossed the room to poke his head around the kitchen doorway. He smiled at what he saw and returned to the main part of the living room, sitting down in the armchair. “How long you in town for?”

“I… I actually don’t know,” Cas said honestly, shrugging his shoulders. “It was only supposed to be until tomorrow but my fiancé’ came down yesterday and said he requested more time off of work for me… I suppose I should call them and give them an update…”

Bobby just nodded, accepting the information. Cas leaned back into the couch, the silence Bobby offering him was a blessing and he let his mind wander. He had no idea what type of mood Balthazar would be in in this morning, and he hoped he wouldn’t be too angry that Cas ended up leaving last night. He probably shouldn’t tell him he had spent the night with Dean… Because technically he didn’t, not in that sense anyways. He stayed at Bobby’s, and Dean just happened to fall asleep beside him. Totally innocent.

Cas groaned inwardly. He would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that, just for the tiniest moment when he woke up, having Dean’s body pressed against him, hadn’t made him feel completely content and happy. That was how he had imagined his life would always be… Waking up beside Dean, every morning, for the rest of his life... It was like some, cruel, cosmic joke that Dean had ended up falling asleep beside him quite by accident. A cruel, cosmic joke that had him yearning, the feeling churning in his stomach.

_“Morning,” Cas smiled, rolling over to drape his arm across Balthazar’s chest, leaning in close to press his nose into the crook of his neck._

_“What are you doing?” Balthazar asked, pulling himself back and looking down at Castiel, a confused expression on his face._

_“Cuddling with you,” Cas laughed, snuggling closer. This had been their first night together, and Cas was finally starting to feel like himself again. He had a boyfriend, a lover, a chance at happiness…_

_“I don’t cuddle, sweetheart...” Balthazar chuckled, leaning down to give Cas a rough kiss before kicking his legs out of bed. He stretched, raising his arms over his head, the muscles of his naked back twisting and flexing under his skin. He looked over his shoulder, expecting Cas to be looking at him. He wasn’t disappointed._

_And how could he not? Balthazar was gorgeous, and he knew it. He was tall and tan, his body well-defined. His blue eyes sparkled and danced. He was comfortable and confident, a bad boy. And he had chosen Castiel. Cas forced himself to smile, reminded himself that he was lucky, this was good, this was what he needed._

_He couldn’t, however, convince himself that this was what he wanted._

_No, what he wanted was somewhere back in Kansas and had successfully avoided any form of contact Castiel had tried to initiate over the years. What he wanted was apparently a figment of his imagination, a distant and painful memory._

_So Cas bit back the displeasure he was feeling and shrugged his shoulders, nonchalantly, and lied, “Oh good, I don’t like it either. Just didn’t know if you were that kind of guy or not.”_

_“God ,no,” Balt laughed, pushing himself off the bed and walking, naked, to the bathroom. “I’m falling for you already.”_

  


"Daddy, why were Cas and you sleeping in the living room?" Dotty asked when they were in the car, driving to school.

Dean exhaled slowly-- he should have been prepared for this question.

“Because Cas was feeling kind of sad and lonely last night and needed a friend to talk to.” He met her questioning eyes in the rearview mirror and gave her a small smile. She nodded once and turned towards the window, watching the houses pass by and then --

“So did you sleep with him because he didn’t want to sleep alone?”

He coughed once, trying not to laugh at his daughter’s choice of words.

“We had a sleepover, yeah,” he agreed, stopping at a red light and glanced back at her. “Sometimes you just need a friend, you know?”

“I know,” she nodded her head quickly, then screwed her eyebrows up in concentration again. “Daddy, do you think Cas and I could have a sleep over? He’s my friend too! And if he was feeling lonely, I could let him hug my teddy bear and sleep next to my tinkerbell light so he wouldn’t wake up in the dark.”

“That’s very sweet of you, little bear.” Dean smiled at her and turned his attention back to the road. “We will see… but I think Cas has to get going home soon.” Something stabbed at him with that realization and he forced himself to push it back down.

“Where is Cas’s home?” Dotty asked.

“In New York City. That’s very far away, Princess.” The stabbing found its way back up and Dean gripped the steering wheel more tightly.

“Like Grandma and Grandpa?”

Dean sighed lightly. His parents had moved to Texas a few years ago. His relationship with them had become a little better when they had learned about Ashleigh’s pregnancy, but it had never completely been repaired after his ‘wedding’ with Cas. Dorothy had some contact with them however. They sent her presents for her birthdays and for Christmas, but that was mostly all there was.

“No, little bear, even further away than Grandma and Grandpa,” he told her. “I’ll show you on the map later. Or you can ask your teacher to show you.”

“Okay,” she nodded.

 

Back from taking Dorothy to school, Dean got out of the car and walked over to the salvage yard’s office with a soft, smile on his lips.

"What's got you so happy?" Bobby called from the garage, wiping the oil from his hands onto a rag and holding out a cup of coffee when Dean was close enough.

"Is happiness forbidden?" Dean asked and accepted the coffee. "I'm just feeling pretty good today."

"Mmm, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I woke up to Castiel and you sleeping on my couch?" Bobby raised an eyebrow as he took a sip of his own coffee.

Dean shrugged, still smiling. "Maybe. But maybe it's about braiding hair."

"What the hell are you on about?" Bobby asked, confused.

Dean sipped his coffee and chuckled softly. "Just Dotty and Cas. She wants a sleep-over with him. I told him. He asked if he'll get his hair braided."

"That girl can wrap anyone around her finger," Bobby shook his head with a smile and tossed the oily rag he had used over his shoulder. "Got a new job in this morning... Buick needs new brake lines and a gas cap. Should be a quick fix."

"Of course she can, she's my daughter," Dean grinned and sipped more coffee. "Okay, want me to take it or should I get our finances figured out?"

"I've already started on the brake lines... might as well finish it up. Quarterly taxes are coming due, you know how much I hate that shit."

"Oh damn, already? Where did the time run to? Okay, I'm on it." Dean nodded.

"That's why I keep you around, Dean!" Bobby called after him as he went into the small back office of the garage. "Fucking numbers 'n shit..." He muttered to himself and went back to focus his attention on the car.

Dean shook his head grinning about Bobby. There was a tiny bit of truth in it after all though. When he had been a kid Dean had never liked Math, or anything with numbers. And yet in business school, as well as in community college, Accounting had been his favorite course and the one he earned the best grades in. So with the salvage yard it had been without question when he had taken over handling the financial end of things.

The back office was a mess, as usual. Dean shook his head as he flicked on the overhead light and worked through the piles of receipts and bills Bobby always stacked around on the desk. _"Someday I'll get us a file cabinet..."_ the older man always muttered as he dropped off a new stack. Dean had no idea what Bobby had done before he had started working through the office part of the business…

Although Bobby never had gotten them a file cabinet, Dean had figured out a way to get things sorted in a way that made sense -- to him at least. After a few minutes of working through Bobby's newest additions, he spread out this quarter’s finance reports and got the old desktop computer booted up and ready to go.

By the time Bobby had come to peek in on him, saying it was time to break for lunch, Dean had already entered all of the credits and debits from the business accounts and was well on his way to working on the depreciation values of the garage's equipment.

Dean left the desk stretching and picked up his phone. He checked it while he entered Bobby's kitchen. Cas's latest message made him groan. "Sobered up or what?" he muttered to himself.

"Hmm?" Bobby looked up, giving him a confused look. He pushed a plate with a sandwich and chips over across to Dean and sat down in his regular chair, his own lunch already in front of him.

Dean sat down. "Oh, just Cas's guy. Apparently he wants to apologize. Like he needs to apologize to me. I couldn't care less. It's Cas he should be apologizing to." Dean put his phone in his back pocket and started on his food.

"So..." Bobby cleared his throat and took a big bite of his sandwich, watching as Dean sank down into his chair. "What the hell happened last night?"

"Balthazar happened..." Dean huffed. "He doesn't know Cas at all. Even if Cas has changed in those ten years, Bobby, he wouldn't have changed this damn much." Dean sighed and took a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah well..." Bobby sighed, setting his sandwich down and giving Dean a steady look. "Did Castiel seem surprised at how his fiance’ was acting? You have to remember... This guy probably feels intimidated by you. You were Castiel's first love, first husband... that's not something that just goes away lightly. And I'm purely playing devil’s advocate here..."

"Actually...no, he didn't seem surprised. More like he had been expecting him to be an ass. Anyways, I was asking all nicely how Balthazar had proposed and then he gets all snarky about how I had proposed, or well, not proposed. He thinks nothing is better than his huge New York, doesn't even respect that Cas grew up here."

Bobby bit his lower lip and nodded once, returning his attention to his sandwich to take another bite. "You still thinking you're going to refuse to sign?" he asked after a moment, glancing up at Dean's face.

"It's not like I’d refuse to sign them just to be pissy. I'd do it in a heartbeat if Balthazar was the right guy. If Cas wasn't running off to get married to that asshole I'd happily sign them to see him happy and freed of legal bonds with me. I know it's not fair he's forced to be - just legally - mine. But don't you see why I can't sign?"

"I think you need to have that conversation with Castiel." Bobby said with a sigh. "Shouldn't he know how you feel about it? I'm not exactly sure how you can tell him that but..." Bobby trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. "Why did Castiel spend the night?"

Dean huffed a sad laugh and shook his head. "Because ... Because he couldn't stand to stay the night with his drunken _fiancé_! Damn, that's so sad. He'd rather stay with the stupid ‘ex’ rather than with the fiancé ... how fucked up is that, Bobby?"

Bobby took another bite of his sandwich, eyeing Dean carefully. "What do you want out of this, Dean? Honestly... What do you want?"

Dean sighed deeply, looked at his sandwich in his hands and set it back on the plate. "Honestly, Bobby? Honestly I have no freaking idea what I want out of this."

"I think before you go any further with this... you need to figure that out first," Bobby advised as he nodded his head. "Castiel had to choose this guy for a reason, and you can't possibly know after meeting him once what that reason was. I trust your judgement, you know I do... but Dean, you can't fuck this up for him. You can't decide you want something, get it, and then change your mind again. I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt Castiel again..." he sighed as he focused back on his sandwich, eating the last half of it and swallowing it down with the rest of his drink. "You need to figure it out for both your sakes, Dean."

"I know, Bobby. I know I have to decide what _I_ want from this, and I know that after only one meeting I can't judge that guy either." Dean took his sandwich and took another bite.

"Maybe you should invite them out again." Bobby suggested, refusing to acknowledge Dean's glare from across the table. "Probably stay away from a bar this time..."

"Maybe… I'll think about it." Dean nodded slightly and ate his chips.

Bobby nodded, allowing the conversation to drop for now. He finished off his chips and wiped his hands over his plate. "How you doing in the office?"

"Pretty well, almost done and all on time. But, for the millionth time, _partner_ we need a file cabinet. When I'm done with the quarter’s report I'm going to look into that and order one."

"Yeah, yeah," Bobby smirked and picked up their empty plates, slipping them into the sink. "You don't like my 'Drop it and Dean it' method?"

"I've done the 'Drop it and Dean it' method for years, and it's getting a little old," Dean smirked as he got up. He went to the fridge and helped himself to a bottle of beer. He sipped some of it. "And I'm sure even with a shiny, new filing cabinet you'll still just drop everything on the desk for me to deal with anyways."

"Let's get a cardboard box and a sharpie -- seems much cheaper to me." Bobby shrugged, reaching past him for his own beer and heading back outside.

"Yeah, right..." Dean laughed and followed the older man outside, sipping his beer.

"Order the damn cabinet if it'll make you happy." Bobby rolled his eyes in defeat and tossed a smile over his shoulder. "I'm gonna call the owner of the Buick, just have the gas cap left to replace."

"Alright. I'll try to get the report done before I gotta’ pick up my girl," Dean pulled his phone back out of his back pocket.

  


Castiel set the phone down and leaned against the counter, eyeing Balthazar who had come into the kitchen. "So, you sure this is okay with you?”

"Yeah, if I wasn't I would have told you." Balthazar said, lifting a cup of coffee to his lips. "I would like to get to know the guy... He was important to you once."

"Just... No pissing contest this time?" Castiel sighed and Balthazar looked slightly ashamed as he nodded.

"I don't know what happened there... I am sorry, babe." Cas nodded and stood over him, slotting their legs together.

"I know," he said and leaned down to kiss Balthazar softly. "I have to let Dad know we will be having more company."

"Right now? I was enjoying your kisses." Balthazar slipped his free arm around Castiel and sipped more of his coffee.

"I suppose it could wait a few minutes," Castiel smiled and stole another kiss. Balthazar hummed against his lips, his hands leaving his coffee cup on the tabletop to slip around Cas's waist and pull him closer. Castiel sighed, content in the moment, and let himself get lost into Balthazar's soft kisses.

Balthazar ran his hand over Castiel's back slowly before resting them loosely on the small of his back.

Cas leaned their foreheads together and closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of Balthazar and coffee. "I am going to find my dad, then head upstairs for a nice, hot shower." He pulled back and met Balthazar's eyes with a smirk. "In case you're feeling a bit dirty too..."

"I'll get the water running for you, babe." Balthazar smirked and stole another quick kiss. "Don't be too long."

Castiel smiled as he watched Balthazar slide out of the room, twisting his hips a few times before tossing a smirk over his shoulder, knowing Castiel was watching. He sighed, pushing off the table to find his father in the office to let him know about the plans for that night.

Like he thought, his Dad had no qualms about having Dean or little Dotty over for dinner, and was immediately motivated to go out and get more groceries for dinner.

"You sure you don't want me to go shopping?" He asked, watching his dad slip on his old, jeans jacket.

"No, you go give that boy of yours some of the attention he's been craving." His Dad smiled knowingly and slipped past him.

Castiel let himself feel just a hint of guilt before he made his way upstairs to where Balthazar was waiting to him. He stepped into the bathroom, the warm, fog caressing his skin along with the soft singing of Balthazar under the spray. He smiled and slipped off his clothes, letting himself be welcomed by Balt's arms and the heat of the water. He sighed against Balthazar's lips when they met his and knew he had to be better, had to make a point of making Balthazar feel special and loved, because this, right here, right now, was his future.


	9. Chapter 9

"Daddy? Are we going to see Uncle Bobby?" Dorothy asked as Dean fastened her into the car seat.

Dean bopped her nose. "No, little bear. It's gonna’ be a surprise tonight." He smiled then closed the door and slipped into the driver's seat.

"Ooh a surprise?! I love surprises!" Dorothy's eyes lit up and she began bouncing in her seat. "Can you give me a hint, Papa Bear? Please!!"

"Hmmm.... No." Dean chuckled. "Did you pack your coloring book and crayons like I asked you to? And your bear?"

"Yes, Daddy!" Dorothy said, using both hands to pick up her Hello Kitty backpack to show him. "I brought my blanket too... Is that okay?"

"Yes, that's okay, Princess." Dean smiled in the rearview mirror and started his car.  
Dorothy pursed her lips and turned to the window, eyes darting around the scenery. "If I guess right will you tell me?" she asked after a moment.

"Maybe. We'll see." Dean smirked.

"Are we going to see ponies?!"

"With your coloring book? In the evening?" Dean encouraged her to think again.

She pursed her lips again, tapping her leg against her car seat. "Are we gonna’ have dinner?"

"Yes. We're going to have dinner. Are you hungry yet?"

"Yes!" She nodded her head emphatically. "I could eat an entire elephant!"

"Elephants are very big, how about we start with a horse and then see if you're still hungry?"

Dotty giggled and pulled her bag onto her lap, hugging it against her chest. "Are we going to see Castiel?"

Dean glanced over his shoulder quickly, eyebrow raised. "What makes you think so?"

"Well, if we aren't seeing Uncle Bobby..." She shrugged and gave her Dad a knowing look. "We don't have many other friends, Daddy!"

Dean sighed. Why was his daughter so damn clever and wise at her age? "We're going to Chuck's place. That's Castiel's dad… so be nice, okay?"

"Yes! Oh, Daddy!" Her eyes grew wide and if possible, even brighter. "I get to meet Cas's Daddy?!"

"Yes, princess, you're going to meet Cas's dad. And Cas's friend is going to be there too." Dean told her as he turned onto Cas's street.

"Do you think they would like it if I colored them a picture?" She asked, squeezing her backpack tighter, barely containing her excitement.

"They sure would love if you colored them a picture. Cas surely does, he already asked if he needed to buy you crayons or if we'd bring them."

"Oh good!" Dorothy smiled and beamed up front at her Dad. "Do you think Cas's friend would like a picture too?"

"I'm sure he'd like one too. And Cas's dad would probably want two."

"I have lots of work to do!" She sighed happily.

"Yes, my poor stressed little princess." Dean chuckled softly and parked the car at the curb. He got out and went to unbuckle Dotty.

She opened her arms, letting Dean pick her up out of her seat and waited patiently beside him for her backpack. She reached up to grab his hand, biting on her lip, suddenly nervous. "What if Cas's friend and his Daddy don't like me?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm pretty sure they'll love you." He led her up to the front steps then pointed to the door as he let go of her small hand. "Go ahead , honey, ring the bell." he told her and lightly laid his hand on her shoulder. She stretched up on her tippy toes, letting her Dad steady her balance as she pressed the button, the ringing echoing through the house. She settled back on her heels, leaning back against her Dad's legs, her fingers twisting in the fabric of his jeans.

Dean petted her hair where her head pressed against his leg, loving this little gesture of love and trust. When he had become a single dad he had been scared he'd screw up raising his daughter, but now he was proud of the little person he had raised.

 

Jumping as the doorbell signaled the arrival of their dinner guests, Castiel called from the kitchen, “Can one of you get that?"

He had his hands encrusted with breadcrumbs and beaten eggs as he was finishing up breading the chicken fingers he was making.

"Got it!" Balthazar replied and went to the door, pulling it open. He offered Dean a small, apologetic smile and then focused his attention on the cute little girl, clinging to his leg. "Hello," he smiled down at her.

Dotty looked up at her dad and pulled on his jeans leg. "Is that Cas's Daddy?" she asked, her voice not so much the whisper she was aiming for and Dean slightly cringed, offering Balthazar an apologetic smile in return. "No, Princess, that's Cas's friend."

"Oh!" She nodded and turned back to Balthazar. "I'm Cas's friend too!" she exclaimed, excitedly. "I was going to make Cas a picture. Would you like a picture too?"

Dean smiled, amused by her excitement. "Hope we're not too early?" Dean asked, waiting for Balthazar to ask them inside.

"No, Cas is just finishing up... come in," he stepped back, holding open the door.

"Hey, Dean!" Chuck came around the corner, clapping Dean on the back and giving him a quick hug.

"Been a while son! And this must be Dorothy?" he asked, crouching down to smile at the little girl.

"Too long. Good to see you, Chuck." Dean smiled happily. "Yes, that's Dorothy. This is Cas's Daddy, little bear," he told her.

"Cas said you make him the best waffles ever!" she gasped, smiling up at him.

Dean took her backpack from her and helped her out of her jacket.

"He praised my waffles, huh?" Chuck laughed and took the coat from Dean to hang it up in the hallway. "I guess that means I'll have to make him some before he leaves next week."

"Let us know which day? I, too, remember them being pretty awesome," Dean smirked playfully.

Balthazar swallowed hard, watching the exchange between the two other men in the room. "I'm going to help Cas set up the table," he gave them an awkward smile and excused himself.

Dean lifted Dotty up and onto his hip. "Can we help with anything?"

"I think Cas and Balthazar have it pretty much covered..." Chuck said, giving them a smile. "Did I hear something about pictures? Do you want to come into the living room? I'm sure we could set up a drawing station on the coffee table..."

"Let's go see the living room, Dot," Dean agreed and gently squeezed her. They followed him into the sunny living room before Dean set Dorothy back down.

She walked happily over to the coffee table, and sat on the carpet, pushing her legs underneath it. Setting her Hello Kitty bag beside her, she opened the backpack and began pulling out her pencils and crayons and lining them up in order of color.

Dean watched her for a while then looked at Chuck. "So, how have you been doing?"

"I've been doing well. It was a nice surprise to have my son here for awhile... Been far too long..." He trailed off and gave Dean a soft smile. "Heard you and Singer were running the shop together now. How's that going?"

"Pretty good. Been working with him for ages, so it was only natural we'd become associates one day, I guess. I can do work that I love, and I have no problems with Dotty, since I can just bring her along if need be."

"Singer always ran a tight ship, haven't been by there in a while..." Chuck said, settling back into one of the armchairs. "Glad you're happy there. Bobby Singer's a good man."

"Yes… he is. He's a fantastic help with Dot, too. They adore each other," Dean smiled. He sat on the couch behind Dorothy.

"Uncle Bobby made me a pink Impala just to match Daddy's car!" Dorothy said, smiling over the coloring book she had opened in front of her.

"Oh yeah?" Chuck laughed, leaning forward to smile down at the page she was working on. "Does it go as fast as your Daddy's?"

"Faster!" Dorothy gasped, eyes wide. "And I can take off the top and have a con- convertible!"

"But daddy's has the nicer color," Dean winked and ruffled her hair. "Of course, that's nothing against a convertible," he sighs, pretending to be jealous.

Chuck winked at him and Dorothy sighed, craning her head to look back at him. 'Black is not a pretty color, Daddy," she shook her head. "Maybe Uncle Bobby can paint your car too!"

"One day, my girl, one day ..." Dean sighed hopefully. "Maybe I could have mine painted blue, huh?" he suggested.

His little girl thought about it for a minute and then nodded. "Yes! ‘Cause blue means a boy car and pink means a girl car." She smiled up at him and then turned back to her picture. "What's Cas's friend's name? Are they friends like you and Cas, Daddy?"

"His name is Balthazar, but if you ask him, I think he would let you call him Balt. He and Cas are ‘special friends’," Dean paused, biting on his lower lip for a moment. "They're really good friends. They live together and love each other and they're going to be getting married soon."

"Like Grandma and Grandpa?”

“Yes, Princess, like Grandma and Grandpa,” Dean agreed and smiled at Chuck.

“Oh...” She said, nodding her head and returning to her paper. “Do you think Balt would like a picture of a duck?” Dorothy wondered, holding up the coloring book and showing off the page she was coloring.

“That’s a pretty duck. He might like that, yes,” Dean agreed, wondering if he was lying to her.

“Ducks?” Cas’ voice came from the doorway and he smiled at the meeting in the living room. He gave Dean a small nod before slipping onto the floor beside Dorothy, leaning over to look at her picture. “I bet Balt will love the picture of the ducks. It will remind him of a little duck pond we have back home.”

“Hello, Cas!” Dotty piped up happily and threw her arms around his neck. “You have a duck pond at home?” she asked her eyes wide.

“I do!” Cas smiled, hugging her back and looking up as Balthazar walked into the room, sitting down in the recliner across from his Dad’s. “Did you meet Balt?” he asked, pulling back to look down at Dorothy.

“He opened the door.” Dorothy told Castiel, then turned around to Balthazar. “Would you like the duck picture, Balt? Do you miss your ducks?”

“I…” Balthazar looked slightly confused as he looked around the room but then nodded, “I would love a duck picture, thank you for thinking of me.” He smiled at her.

Dean sighed, relieved. Cas smiled down at Dorothy and picked up a crayon. “Do you mind if I color with you?” he inquired timidly.

Dorothy beamed widely. “Oh yes, please! What would you like to color?” she asked pushing the book closer to him.

Cas flipped through the book a few times and then pushed it back to her, “You choose. Okay?” He smiled at her. “I’ll color you any picture you want!”

Dorothy flipped through some pages. “Oh!” she beamed, “Look, there’s a little bear! Do you think your Daddy would like this? So he can remember me.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Cas laughed, tearing the page out along the perforation and smoothing it out in front of him. “Do you think it should be a pink bear or a purple bear?” He leaned forward and whispered down to her.

“A pink bear?” Dorothy giggled. “Yes, a pink bear, would your Daddy like that?”

“I think it would definitely remind him of you.” Castiel smiled and picked up a pink crayon, slowly outlining the bear in a thick, pink line.

“Pink bears, pink cars…” Dean sighed from behind them on the couch. “Pretty soon she’s going to want a pink room and pink hair!”

“Papa Bear!” Dorothy exclaimed excitedly. “Do you think Uncle Bobby would let me paint my room at his house pink?!”

“I fear he would,” Dean sighed.

Balthazar chuckled from across the room. “I can’t wait to have a little girl,” he said softly, eyes trailing between Castiel and the way he was leaning over Dorothy, coloring beside her.

“Yeah,” Cas agreed softly, starting to color in the bear. The buzzing from the kitchen made him sit up straight, placing the crayon down on top of the picture. “I’ll be right back,” he promised pushing up from the floor and heading to the kitchen to take the chicken out of the oven.

Dean swallowed hard at Balthazar’s comment. Yes, Cas was wonderful with Dotty, he totally understood Balthazar, if he had been in his place, he would wish for a daughter too.

“Daddy?” Dorothy turned around and crawled up Dean’s leg to sit on his lap. “Should I ask Cas if he needs any help setting the table? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do like when I visit Grammy?”

“Yes, Princess, that’s a wonderful idea. I think he would be very happy about your help,” Dean nodded and kissed her head. “Go ask if you can help.”

“Okay! I love you, Daddy.” Dorothy kissed him back, patting both of his cheeks with her little hands before slipping off of his lap and wandering down the hallway, looking for the kitchen and for Castiel. “Cas?” She asked, finding him as he was pulling out a pan from the oven. “Do you need any help setting up the table?”

 

“So … you two are planning on having children?” Dean asked to break the silence that had settled once Dorothy had left the living room.

“Yeah, eventually...” Balthazar said, clearing his throat as he shifted in the armchair. “Castiel has always wanted kids… he’s great with them.” He waved to the empty spot where Dotty and Cas had just been. “He’s going to be such a great Father.”

“Oh, yes, he’ll be a damn great father.” Dean nodded.

“Yeah,” Balthazar said and the room fell into silence again. Chuck looked between them and sat up, reaching for the remote.

“You boys like football?” He asked, flicking on the television.

“Yeah, sure…Why not?” Dean shrugged and crossed his legs.

Chuck gave Dean a knowing look and flicked the channel to the football game, knowing the sounds of the game would mask the awkward silence of the room.

In the kitchen, Cas and Dorothy could be heard laughing loudly.

“Why don’t you get all of the guys in here for dinner?” Cas smiled down and ruffled Dot’s hair. “I’ll get everyone drinks. What would you like to have?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.” She smiled at him before bouncing out of the room to tell everyone dinner was ready.

Dean smiled when he heard Dorothy come back. “Hey, little bear, did you help Cas a lot?”

“He let me put the napkins and the silverware on the table.” She nodded, taking her Dad’s hand and pulling him forward. “He did the glasses and the plates!”

“You’re a good girl.” he said walking with her. “I’m proud of you.”

Dorothy beamed up at him and let him lift her up and onto a chair before he settled beside her. Castiel came back into the dining room carrying a pitcher of lemonade and began pouring some into each of the glasses.

“Mind getting the platter of chicken, Balt?” He asked as Balthazar came into the room. He nodded once as he left the room and came back with the chicken and a bowl of mashed potatoes.

“Can I get anything, Cas?” Dean asked, wanting to help too.

“Nah, you’re good,” Cas smiled at him and sat down in the chair directly across from Dean. “My Dad will grab the rest along with his milk… only thing he’ll drink with dinner.”

Dean chuckled. “Really? Dotty needed a bottle of milk to fall asleep with until a bit more than three years ago.” he winked.

“That’s probably why he drinks it,” Cas laughed, “Helps him sleep like a baby!”

“Yeah, it’s said to help.” Cas laughed and looked up as his Dad walked in with a fresh glass of milk and a bowl of steamed broccoli, which he set in the center of the table.

“Mmmh, that all looks awesome,” Dean grinning at all the food on the table. “Thank you all very much for having us tonight,” he said politely.

"Especially ‘cause of mashed potatoes!" Dotty beamed, watching as her Dad fixed up her plate.

"Yeah." Dean smiled. "My girl loves her potatoes mashed, even more than fries."

Dorothy smiled and took a mouthful. "And these are the best mashed potatoes! I wish you could make them for me all the time!" She looked at Cas and grinned at him. "You could be my best potato mashing friend!" Dean swallowed and tried to ignore the light pang in his heart at Dorothy's comment. He kept his eyes down and sipped his lemonade so he couldn't add anything.

In the silence, Dorothy continued. "We could have dinner together all of the time! I really like your Daddy's house, Cas. Maybe you and your friend and your Daddy could come to my house for dinner next time?"

Dean looked up and met Cas's eyes. He turned to his daughter then and said, softly, "Dotty, you should eat before it gets too cold."

"Okay, Daddy!" Dorothy shrugged, shoving another forkful of mashed potatoes into her mouth. Balthazar cleared his throat from across the table and sent a sideways glance over at Castiel.

Dean hoped no one heard his low sigh. He ate silently and helped Dorothy with cutting up her chicken fingers. He didn't mind that Dorothy thought the way she did, even though it made his heart ache. He minded far more that Balthazar might take it personally, that he'd interpret the little girl's words for Dean's indoctrination rather the words of a friendly, caring little girl.

Dorothy ate a few more bites of her chicken and watched as the men at the table ate slowly, their glances kept down. "Daddy?" She asked after a moment, tugging on his sleeve. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, my love. You were telling Cas how much you like him, and it's never wrong to like nice people. Right?" he caressed her head and looked at the other men.

"I appreciate it, too," Castiel added, giving Dorothy a gentle smile. She nodded once, still not completely pacified. "I think that if we have dinner again sometime, I will definitely have to make you more mashed potatoes." Beside him, Balthazar snorted, hiding the sound with a bite of his own food. Dorothy looked at him, her head cocked to the side.

"Do you not like the mashed potatoes?" She asked him, confused.

Dean looked at Balthazar pointedly. It was one thing to be an ass to Dean, the bad ‘ex’, but he wouldn't let him get away with hurting an innocent five-year-old. Cas had told him his fiancé was good with kids, but Dean hadn't been able to see that yet.

"I like them just fine, kiddo." Balthazar said, clearing his throat. He looked up to see Castiel staring at him and shrugged, turning his attention back to his plate.

"I bet you're really lucky that Cas gets to make you mashed potatoes all of the time, huh?"

Dean grinned lightly at the remark and put a little more of the mashed potatoes on Dot's plate and stole a piece of broccoli in return. "Maybe Cas learned how to make them from his dad?" Dean put in.

"Really?" Dorothy's eyes widened and she looked over at Chuck. "Did you teach Cas about the mashed potatoes?"

"Sure did, sweetheart," Chuck laughed, nodding his head. "I taught this boy practically everything he knows."

"Maybe you could teach my Daddy to make them like this too!" Dorothy giggled, squishing up her face at Dean. "He makes good potatoes, but these are better." She whispered the last part loudly, causing Dean to laugh.

"Sure, I think I could teach your Daddy a thing or two," Chuck winked at her and drank a sip of his milk.

"Right, because we're all suddenly friends." Balthazar muttered, but the comment was heard across the entire table. Dorothy turned to him with a sudden frown.

But before Dorothy could question the man’s attitude further, Dean jumped in to challenge the snotty, uncalled for remark, "Or maybe because old friendships can be revived and expanded onto new family members... I don't think it matters a lot in the great city of New York if some people in this small place get together once in a while to exchange kitchen secrets," Dean said. Cas would probably be pissed that Dean went into asshole mode this time. Dorothy would probably be a damned lot confused, but Dean wouldn't take Balthazar's snarky remarks.

"Or maybe, old friendships are just an excuse for unrequited love, lost to one’s inability to man the fu-"

"Do not use _that_ language in front of my daughter!" Dean hissed, cutting Balthazar off. Dorothy's eyes went wide as she looked at her Daddy who had pushed up into a standing position and was leaning over the table. Balthazar mirrored his actions, his face inches from Dean's.

"Like she hasn't heard worse, living out of a mechanic’s garage." Balthazar sneered, eyes flashing. Castiel was pulling on his arm, trying to pull him back.

"You two sit your butts back down right now!" Chuck fumed at them. "I would like to go on enjoying the meal my son made and you boys won't spoil these delicious mashed potatoes for the young lady with your childish bickering. That can wait."

Balthazar glared at Dean once last time before letting Castiel yank him back bodily into the chair. "Sit down, Dean." Cas said, his voice hard, his eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them before settling on Dorothy. "It's okay, Dotty." He smiled at her. "No need to get upset."

Dorothy had tears pooling in her eyes and she clung to her Dad's arm, mashed potatoes and the rest of her dinner forgotten. Dean sat down and pulled his daughter onto his lap. He held her head gently against his chest and kissed the top of it. "It's okay, Princess." He hugged her tightly and rocked her a little.

"I didn't mean to make everyone angry." Dorothy whispered against his chest, clinging to him with her small fingers twisted into his shirtfront.

"It's not your fault, Dotty. Don't worry, okay? It's Daddy's fault. I'm sorry we scared you."

"Hey, Dorothy?" Chuck pushed back from the table and leaned over Dean's shoulder. "Why don't you help me get some dessert ready? I think we could all use some pie, what do you think?"

"Pie is my Daddy's favorite..." Dorothy whispered, pulling back and wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. She let Chuck lift her out of Dean's arms and she curled into his neck, refusing to look back at the table. Dean looked at Chuck and nodded thankfully.

"Jesus Christ," Castiel swore the moment his father and Dorothy were out of the room. "Are you serious?"

"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean ducked his head deeply ashamed.

"This was probably a mistake from the beginning." Balthazar reached for his glass, taking a sip of his drink.

"This was your idea in the first place!" Castiel turned on him, anger and shock on his face. "If I knew you were just going to be an ass about it..."

"Oh, now I'm the ass?" Balthazar put his glass down on the table, harder than he needed to, and the bang of it seemed to echo in the room. "I wanted to apologize, not play bloody, fucking house with your ‘not even’ ex-husband!"

"I had no intention of playing house with you, Balthazar. I taught my daughter to be open minded towards new people in her life. She doesn't have a huge bunch of friends and thus loves making new ones, no matter their age. She thought she could be your friend too.... The first day, Cas told me about you being some teacher or so, said you're good with kids. Honestly, I didn't see any of that tonight." Dean took a deep breath. "I came here tonight to give you another chance, not to fight with you."

"Well… see…that's the problem right there," Balthazar said, shaking his head in dismissal. "There isn't going to be a reason for a relationship. You two seem to forget that the only reason we are down here is so that you two can get divorced! We are here so you can sign the papers and we can move on with our lives! You and Cas being married was a mistake that needs to be righted so that I can move on with my life… with my husband, back home!"

"Daddy?" Dot's small voice made the three of them look up. She was standing in the doorway in front of Chuck, a stack of small paper plates in her hand while Chuck held the pie, a sad look on his face. "Daddy, you're married?"

"Perfect." Balthazar laughed harshly before hastily pushing away from the table. "You find a way to talk your way out of this one. I'm going for a walk."

Dean glared at Balthazar, then drew a breath and breathed out slowly through his nose to calm himself. He then smiled at his daughter sadly and patted his lap. "Come here, lil’ bear, no need to stand while we talk."

"Daddy, I think I want to go home," she shook her head, staring at him with wide eyes. "I want to go see Uncle Bobby. I don't want to be here anymore."

Dean sighed. "Of course." He stood slowly and then scooped her up into his arms. "Let's get your stuff, okay?" he told murmured and made his way into the living room with her.

"I'm so sorry, Dean," Castiel apologized with a sigh, pushing away from the table. "I didn't..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "I'm sorry dinner wasn't the greatest, Dotty." The little girl peeked at him from over her Dad's shoulder but turned away to bury her head again, mumbling something unintelligible into her Dad's shoulder.

"Not your fault, Cas." Dean rubbed Dorothy's back and crouched down with her to gather her stuff. It wasn't the most graceful, but at least it worked.

Castiel watched as Dean gathered up the coloring supplies and returned everything to the little backpack. He left the picture of the ducks and the bear picture that they had been coloring on the table, and for a moment Castiel wondered if he had done it on purpose.  
"I'll... talk to you later?" Cas said as he opened up the door so Dean wouldn't have to put Dorothy or any of the things down.

"Yeah, maybe." Dean agreed, giving him a small smile. "Thanks for having us Chuck, even though... well..."

"Don't worry about it." Chuck said, placing a hand on his son's shoulder and giving Dean a small smile. "You get that little girl feeling better, alright?"

"Yes, I will. And, again, thanks for the meal and ... I better get her home. Good night." Dean swallowed and nodded a farewell in their direction before heading down to his car.

He buckled Dotty into her seat and kissed her forehead, then pulled the teddy and the blanket from her backpack and gave them to her. Sighing, Dean slipped into the front seat and pulled on his own seatbelt. He glanced back at the house one more time, wondering how in the world things escalated so quickly yet again.


	10. Chapter 10

  


“What the hell was that?” Castiel was fuming as he watched the Impala pull out of the driveway and heard the creak of the stairs behind him. Without needing to look, he knew his father had snuck off and Balthazar was standing behind him. “Seriously, Balt. What the fuck?”

“Don’t swear at me, Castiel.” Balthazar shook his head, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“Don’t swear at you?! Like you chose to do in front of a sweet, little five-year-old?” Castiel moved until he was standing in front of Balt, his entire body shaking. “I am so embarrassed right now!”

“You should be embarrassed, and you should feel ashamed!” Balthazar fired back, his eyes flashing angrily. “I am your fiance’, Castiel. I am the man you have chosen to marry. And you have yet to stand up for me!”

“What are you talking about?” Castiel yelled, throwing his arms in the air in disbelief. “You’re an adult, Balthazar. What the hell was I supposed to stand up for? Dean was right, you shouldn’t have talked like that in front of his daughter.”

“You don’t get it Castiel!” Balthazar shook his head, letting his eyes fall closed. When he opened them, they were swimming with tears and Castiel took a shocked step backwards.

“What am I missing here?” He said after a moment. His chest felt ripped open, torn between the guilt and embarrassment he felt for Dean and Dotty and the pain he felt at seeing Balthazar so upset.

“Everything, Cas!” Balthazar yelled, turning away in frustration. Castiel watched as the other man scrubbed his fingers through his hair in frustration before spinning back around. “I came halfway across the fucking country for you, Castiel.”

“I didn’t ask--”

“I know you didn’t ask me to! You didn’t have to ask me to! I love you, Cas, and I want to be with you! All the time! That’s why we’re getting married. And I missed you, even though it had only been a day, I already missed you and thought you might like a surprise vacation. So no, you didn’t _ask_ me to do anything, I did it for you! And then I come here, and you’re… I don’t know what you’re doing!”

“I’m not doing anything, Balt… I’m trying to get the papers taken care of and…”

“Are you?” Balthazar shook his head, throwing himself into a kitchen chair. “Are you really trying, Cas? Because it doesn’t look that way to me.”

Castiel swallowed hard, guilt swirling in his stomach as he stared down at Balthazar, broken and destroyed in the chair.

“Dean Winchester was your first,” Balthazar whispered, his voice cracking as he stared up at Castiel. “Your first love, the first man you ever, truly wanted. The first person to hurt you. I see how you are with him, the way that he looks at you. I see the way you look at him and I can tell there’s a part of you that’s still hurting and wondering ‘what if’... I’m okay with that, I’m okay with the ‘what ifs’ and even the ‘what could have beens’ as long as I’m the one with the ‘what is’. But I can’t compete with the history, Castiel.”

“I didn’t think there was a competition.” Castiel whispered, his throat tightening.

“I didn’t think so either.” Balt replied, closing his eyes. A tear slipped down his cheek and Castiel moved to wipe it away, getting Balthazar’s hand instead, stopping his advance. “Don’t.” He shook his head and pushed away from Castiel gently. “I’m going to bed.”

Cas watched as he slipped out of the kitchen and listened to each stair creak as he made his way up to Cas’ childhood bedroom. The door clicking shut seemed to slam something inside of Cas himself and he collapsed into the empty chair, his chest and eyes burning. He folded his arms across the tabletop and laid his head on them. When he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, he didn’t bother to wipe away the tears that escaped.

He cried for himself, for hurting Balt. He cried for Dean, and the life he had lost. And he cried because he was lost and alone, with no one to turn to.

Bobby came out of the house as soon as Dean had pulled up in front of it. Confusion written all over his face.

Dean got out of the car and went to get Dorothy out of her seat. But Dorothy turned away from him, clinging to her blanket.

“Dotty. Please… come on… we’re at Bobby’s. Come.” Dean said softly and reached around her to unbuckle the seatbelt. But Dorothy pressed her face harder against the backrest and Dean could see her shake from a silent sob. Dean straightened up and looked over at Bobby. The older man understood and came over.

“Hey Princess,” Bobby leaned past Dean and into the car, smiling when Dorothy’s eyes peeked over the top of the blanket. He saw them swimming and knew they had three seconds before--

“Uncle Bobby!” She cried, thick fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She crawled out of the car seat, blanket forgotten, and launched herself into Bobby’s arms, her sobs echoing against his jacket.

“What's wrong, Princess?” Bobby asked, turning to Dean, alarmed.

“Dinner was a terrible idea, Bobby.” Dean replied. He ducked into the car to get her backpack and the blanket, then closed the door and looked at Bobby. “Let’s bring her inside.”

Bobby sighed, hiking the crying child higher in his arms and followed Dean into the house. “Come on Dotty, do you want some hot cocoa?”

“Don’t… want… Daddy…” Dotty sobbed out in gasps. “To… be… mad anymore!”

Dean set Dorothy’s teddy bear and stuff on the coffee table and sat on the couch, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. He shouldn’t have taken Dorothy to that dinner. It had been a mistake.

“Princess, I don’t think your Daddy is mad at you,” Bobby asked the question as he looked up at Dean, his eyes wide and questioning. His face screamed, _What the fuck happened?_ “Come on, Dotty… Look at Uncle Bobby, please?”

Dean felt the burning behind his eyes. He tried to swallow it down, but it didn’t help. He rubbed one eye and got up, went to the kitchen to get himself a glass of tap water.

“Dean,” Bobby prompted, waving a free hand over Dorothy’s back. “Tell her you’re not mad at her.”

“But, but he is!” Dorothy sobbed louder, clinging to Bobby’s neck. “And Cas is mad and I didn’t get to finish my po-po-potatoes!”

Dean drank half of his water before he could find his words. “Dotty… Princess, Daddy’s not mad at you...” he moved over closer to lay a gentle hand on her little arm. “You’ve done nothing to make me mad.”

“But… but…” she choked out another sob and looked at him with large, tear-filled eyes. “Everyone got so mad!”

“It wasn’t your fault, Dotty. It wasn’t your fault.” Dean wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “It was all my fault. A bit Balt’s fault too, but mostly Daddy’s fault, Princess. No one’s mad at you. I promise.”

Dorothy hesitated another minute before opening up her arms and letting Dean pull her against his chest, letting her cry as much as she wanted while he rocked her back and forth. Finally, her sobs seemed to lessen, and she sniffled, focusing on picking at the collar of her Dad’s shirt instead.

“I never finished my potatoes,” she whispered, wiping her nose against the shirt and looking up at Dean with wide eyes. “Do you think Cas’s Daddy is upset I didn’t finish my potatoes?”

“He might be upset, yes, but not because he thinks you should have finished your meal, but because you loved them so much and never got to finish them,” Dean explained, nuzzling his nose against her temple. He carried her to the couch and sat down with her, rocking her some more.

Dorothy sniffed once more and settled herself across Dean’s lap, laying her head in the crook of his elbow. “Are you still upset, Daddy?” She asked, her voice soft and tired sounding.

“I’m still upset.” he nodded. “Because I didn’t want dinner to end like this.” he pushed some strands from her face. “Are you still upset, Princess?” he asked in return.

“I am upset if you are upset, Daddy.” She said, grabbing his cheeks between her palms and pulling his face down so their eyes met. “I don’t want either of us to be upset anymore, okay?”

Dean chuckled softly. “Okay, little bear. Let’s not be upset anymore.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Dorothy smiled at him and pressed a wet kiss to his face. She turned back in his arms, settling down again and looked at Bobby who was still standing in the doorway of the living room. “You’re not upset too, are you Uncle Bobby?”

“If I say I am, will I get a good night kiss and get to read you a bedtime story?” Bobby asked, taking a few steps towards the couch to pick Dorothy up. She giggled and kissed him loudly on the cheek. Bobby paused long enough to scoop up her teddy bear and blanket from the coffee table, “I’ll be right back, and we will be talking.” Bobby said over his shoulder as he carried Dorothy up the stairs and into her spare bedroom to put her down for bed.

“Yes, Sir,” Dean half smirked at Bobby. He watched them leave the room and let himself fall back against the backrest with a deep and loud sigh. At least Dorothy was more or less okay again.

Dean waited in silence for Bobby to come back into the room. Bobby took his time reading Dotty three stories before he was completely sure she was asleep. When he made his way downstairs, he flicked the living room light on, raising an eyebrow when Dean winced back away from the glow.

“Sitting in the dark by yourself? What is this, the start of some crappy horror movie?” He rolled his eyes at Dean and slipped into the kitchen to return with two beers. “You wanna enlighten me on what happened tonight?”

“It’s all … it got so damned….so messed up …. everything went wrong, okay?” Dean moved back to having his elbows on his knees. “I behaved like an asshole and … and Balthazar … he was horrible with Dotty… I don’t ever want to see him anywhere near her again.” Dean almost growled the last.

Bobby was quiet for a moment, then sighed. “You can’t do this, Dean,” he warned, shaking his head. “This is starting to affect Dot, and that’s not fair. If Cas is going to leave? Then I don’t think him being around Dorothy is going to be good for her. And if this jerk-off is going to make my princess cry? Well, he’s got another thing coming to him.” Bobby drained half his beer in one go. “Haven’t seen her that upset in a while…”

“I know, Bobby. It was a mistake from the first moment. I should have just signed those papers,” he sipped his beer, “I should have signed them and never given that man a reason to come here. I shouldn’t have told Dorothy she could be Cas’ friend … I should … I should never have married the poor guy. Everyone would be so much better off without me.” Dean bit back a dry sob.

“Don’t you dare start talking like that, Dean Winchester.” Bobby slammed his beer bottle down on the table and leaned forward, poking a finger into Dean’s chest. “That’s bullshit and you know it. That little girl upstairs thinks the world of you, a lot of other people around here do too. And she needs you! You are human, Dean. You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to learn from them. This… I don’t even know what it is, with Castiel? Needs to be figured out before you involve that girl upstairs, that’s all I’m saying.”

“I’ve got it all figured out. I’ll sign them, give them to them and get them out of my life. I never asked for Balthazar in my life and I don’t deserve for Castiel to be there. You see? All figured it out. Simple.”

Bobby nodded slowly, reaching for his beer again. He watched Dean as he slowly drained the rest of the bottle. “Why do you think Castiel is still here? Didn’t just send the papers and leave?”

“Because …” To be honest, Dean didn’t want to think about it. Because it confused him, it made his heart ache and yearn for Castiel and he couldn’t do that to the people around him. “Because he hasn’t seen Chuck in a long time and saw the chance to kill two birds with one stone.” he said and sipped more of his beer.

“I’m calling ‘bullshit’ on that one,” Bobby shrugged, ignoring the look Dean threw at him. “Have the two of you actually bothered to sit down and talk about it? Actually talk about ‘it’?”

“I think we tried … Cas says we can’t do this … pretending to be friends and all. So … I’ll finally give in and it’ll just be quietly over.”

Bobby nodded again and pushed out of the chair. “I think it’s an early night for us both.” He said, taking the empty bottles from both of their beers and bringing them into the kitchen. “Whatever you decide Dean? I’ll support you, you know that, right?”

 

“Yes, I know, and I thank you so much for having my back. And an early night sounds good.” Dean got up. “And thank you for having us stay here… Again.” Dean looked down.

“Dean, my home is your home, you know that.” Bobby said and pulled him in for a quick hug, squeezing his shoulder as he released him. He cleared his throat, nodding his head to get Dean to head upstairs, and followed after him after turning off all the lights.

Dean lay on his side in bed and stared out of the window. Yeah, he’d be doing the right thing.

Dean was met with ‘radio silence’, and for the life of him, he couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not.


	11. Chapter 11

  


_Castiel smiled as he leaned back against Dean’s chest, strong arms wrapped around him and holding him in place. They perched on the hood of a black Impala, one that Dean swore to restore once he had enough money to pay Bobby Singer for parts. He was leaned back against the windshield with his legs open to allow Cas to rest between them. He felt Dean rubbing small circles into his palm and he smiled._

_“Dean?” He asked, leaning his head back against Dean’s shoulder and looking up, caught deep, verdant eyes looking back at him._

_“Hmm?”_

_“You’re nervous…” Dean’s fingers paused for a moment and a confused expression crossed his face before he smiled and let out a shaky laugh._

_“You know me too damn well, Cas,” He shook his head in fondness, squeezing his arms around Cas’s body and pressing his lips against Cas’s hair. Castiel waited, feeling the steady rise and fall of Dean’s chest as he breathed, concentrating hard he could even feel the quiet beats of Dean’s heart. Finally, his patience was rewarded. “I just… I realized something tonight.”_

_“Yeah?” Cas offered, closing his eyes and letting Dean’s warmth wash over him. Dean paused again and Cas fought the urge to pull out of his arms and ask him straight out what was bothering him._

_“Yeah…” Dean cleared his throat once, then again. “I realized something pretty important… I… I’ve fallen in love with you, Cas.” Cas felt himself freeze in Dean’s arms and his eyes flew open. He could feel Dean looking at him, feel the increased pounding of his heart in his chest against Cas’s own back, and Castiel felt like he was flying. He turned in Dean’s arms, crushing their lips together and causing them to almost fall off the hood of the car._

_“I love you too, Dean.” Cas replied, breaking away from the kiss with a huge smile on his face. Dean just kissed him back._

Castiel sighed, replaying the memory over in his head. He could hear the faint sounds of Balthazar starting to wake up and moving around in his upstairs bedroom. He shifted his weight in the recliner, almost afraid to get out of the chair, knowing that spending the entire night there was not the best idea he’d ever had. But he hadn’t been able to sleep anyways, knew that waking up Balthazar by tossing and turning would’ve been unfair, and honestly? He had wanted to be alone anyways.

He’d spent the night replaying memory after memory, finding himself pitting Dean against Balthazar in the most bizarre forms. His stomach churned and he could feel his anxiety climbing as he heard the bedroom door open and knew Balthazar would be joining him downstairs in a few minutes. He could already picture the hurt expression on his face, the question and accusation in his eyes as he would analyze why Castiel didn’t end up coming to bed. His heart clenched and he closed his eyes again, wondering if he could pass himself off as still being asleep.

_I’m okay with the what if’s and what could have beens as long as I’m the one with the ‘what is’. But I can’t compete with the history, Castiel._

The words replayed in his head again, a harsh way to jerk him back into reality. Because Balthazar was right, in every aspect. Dean _was_ his first --- his first everything. And there was a point where Castiel couldn’t have imagined himself being with anyone else, didn’t _want_ to imagine it. Even at sixteen, sprawled across the hood of the Impala and whispering promises of their future together, seemed so real and sure, a true road map for the life they were going to have together.

But reality was cruel and didn’t care about feelings or promises. And Dean had left, leaving Castiel to pick up his own pieces and figure out a new future and life. It had taken years to find someone that Castiel could even stand seeing past a second date, and Balthazar had been that-- he had been the new plan, with his brand new road map of a new life Castiel had never bothered to imagine.

And it would be a good life; Castiel knew that. In five years, Balthazar had been the perfect partner. He cared about Castiel’s job and his friends, wanted to spend time with him and make plans for them together. He made lunches and did dishes and helped with the extensive yardwork that never seemed to end. But the clenching of his heart was still there, twisting and stabbing in the center of his chest, screaming out at him for recognition.

Castiel would be happy, content and cared for. But he wouldn’t be whole. He would by lying to himself if he said he had felt whole at all since the day he realized Dean wasn’t going to be coming back.

He felt his throat and eyes burning and fought to take in a deep breath. He was still in love with Dean Winchester, he had _always_ been in love with him, and it was like a punch to the gut.

From the doorway, Balthazar cleared his throat, his own eyes swimming as they met Cas’ from across the room. His eyes told Castiel all he needed to know.

“Balt…”

“I love you, Castiel...” he shook his head quickly, taking a few steps into the room but his eyes were trained elsewhere, anywhere except for Cas’s face. “For the rest of our lives, I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, you know that, don’t you?” Balt squeezed his eyes shut and licked his bottom lip. “I waited upstairs last night for what felt like hours, telling myself that any minute you would be walking through that door and crawling into my arms, telling me we were being foolish and that you loved me too.”

“Balt, I do love you,” Cas whispered, fighting the urge to push out of the chair and wrap his arms around him. “You know that I love you-”

“I know you love me as much as you can,” Balthazar gave a soft laugh and it turned the knife that was already digging into Castiel’s stomach. “I’ve fallen in love with you over and over again every day for the past five years. I’ve watched you get stronger and more confident in your job and in our lives. I know you, Cas. I know everything about you. I know you hate when I put my cold feet on you in the middle of the night, I know you can’t eat Macaroni and Cheese without half a shaker of pepper, I know you have to watch every commercial in between your shows, just in case you miss something important. I know you change what tie you’re going to wear at least three times every morning, and if it gets to the fifth tie that means you have an important meeting during the day and you’re nervous.

“You like your showers too hot, the water cold when you brush your teeth. You hate folding socks and always wear them mismatched. You can’t go to a movie without getting popcorn because you feel like you’re missing out on the experience and you need to check the sports highlights in three places to make sure they accurately represented the game.

“I know your favorite color, your favorite food, the things you hate and the things you love.” He stepped forward, reaching for Castiel’s hands as he knelt down in front of him. Glistening tears brimming along his lashes ready to fall, and Castiel felt the guilt of knowing that whatever Balt was going to say next put them there, and that it was entirely his fault. “And I know that I’m not the only one you love.”

Cas closed his eyes, feeling his fingers tightening and twitching in Balthazar’s hands. He opened his mouth, to argue or agree, he wasn’t sure. But nothing came out and he closed it again, feeling the heat creeping up his neck.

“I will spend the rest of my life making you happy, Cas. I want kids with you, a dog and a yard with the stupid picket fence. I want to fight over dishes and laundry and if we need a Minivan over a Camaro. I want to see you start to get grey hair and wrinkles and comfort you when you start losing your hair.” He laughed softly, reaching up to brush his hand through Cas’s hair before returning his gaze to lock with Cas’s eyes. “I want you, _all_ of you, for the rest of my life. But I’m not going to compete. This isn’t a competition, Castiel. I am offering myself, all of me for the rest of my life, and you _have_ to choose.”

Cas closed his eyes and leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. He felt a tear slipping down his cheek and a sob escaped his throat when Balt’s thumb was there immediately to wipe the tear away.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, squeezing the hand that was still between his. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve everything, Castiel.” Balthazar whispered back. “You have no idea how amazing you are. The past five years haven’t been easy by any means, but they were completely worth it in every way.”

Castiel swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

“Dean texted me last night and wanted to talk… I think…” He pulled back to meet Balthazar’s eyes and gave him a small, watery smile. “I’m going to get the papers.” Balthazar leaned forward, sealing his lips over Castiel’s in response.

Cas sighed, nerves fluttering through his stomach as he got behind the wheel of his car. He shoved the keys into the ignition and felt a fresh wave of guilt as he remembered his father’s words.

_“You boys have any plans today?” Chuck walked into the living room slowly and Cas knew his father had been giving them space and had probably been lurking through their entire conversation. He wiped at his eyes, pulling Balthazar to his feet from where he was still kneeling down on the ground._

_“I have to see Dean about the papers but--”_

_“Good, sit down.” Chuck said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorway and looked between both of them. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”_

_Cas exchanged a quick glance with Balthazar but resumed his seat in the recliner chair, moving over to give Balthazar room to sit as well._

_Chuck looked at Balthazar sternly, glancing at his son a little. “This is my house,” he pointed out and paused to let it sink in. “My house means I decide who is welcome here. Dean and his wonderful little daughter were MY guests! You,” he pointed his index at Balthazar, “have no right to decide who I invite into my home, who I decide to be friends with, who I decide to share my recipes with. Son-in-law-to-be or not, your behavior last night was unacceptable.”_

_Cas felt Balthazar’s intake of breath and he squeezed his hand, leaning forward._

_“Dad, I think that things got out of hand but-”_

_“There are no buts.” Chuck cut him off, shaking his head. “I don’t care to know what’s going on between the three of you. Dean Winchester has been welcome in this house since he was sixteen years old and that’s not going to change now. I invited him here, though let me remind you it was both of your ideas to have the dinner, and I expect anyone I invite into this house to be treated with respect!”_

_“I’m sorry, Chuck. It wasn’t my place to tell you who to be friends with or not. I apologize.” Balthazar squeezed Castiel’s hand gently while looking at Chuck._

_“It will not happen again.” Chuck said, meeting both of their eyes in turn before shaking his head and sighing. “The only child here last night should’ve been that little girl, instead I had three grown men acting ridiculous at my dinner table.”_

_“I’m sorry, Dad.” Cas felt the shame and knew Balthazar, and most likely Dean, felt the same._

_“Yeah, well. It’s done and over with.” Chuck pushed off of the wall, still shaking his head. “I need some goddamn coffee…”_

Cas shifted the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway. He was done with emotional confrontations for the day, and after his meeting with Dean he would be making a beeline for the closest bar.

  


“Wrench please.” Dean grinned at Dorothy.

“Wrench,” she said proudly holding it up for him. Over the last five, nearly six years, many of Dot’s toys had found their way to Bobby’s house and yard, mostly so she wouldn’t get all bored in case Dean had work to do on weekends and had to take her along. But sometimes she showed that, underneath all the pink she loved so much, she was still her Daddy’s girl and enjoyed helping him as much as she could. Dean was proud that she knew the names of more tools than some kids three times her age.

Dotty stood carefully on a footstool and peered under the hood beside her dad, handing him tools and other things as he requested.

Dean had spent most of the morning dreading the moment Dorothy would pick up her question from last night. But so far the little girl had spared him any questions about him being married. Or having been … this morning he’d taken the papers from his car and had signed them, with a shaking hand, but at least he’d done it.

Finally he had set Castiel free, prepared the way for Castiel to get married, to the man who had chosen him and asked him properly to become his husband, made it possible for Cas to live happily ever after in New York, far away from his sad past history with Dean.

Dean tried not to think about it, feeling slightly sick at the thought. And he’d done a good enough job of ignoring it so far. Until a few minutes ago when Castiel had texted him...

“Daddy?... Daaaddeee??” Dean snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Dorothy.

“Yes?” She looked at him with her big eyes slightly confused.

“Why aren’t you fastening the bolt? Was it the wrong wrench?” She chewed at her lower lip in uncertainty.

Dean blinked in confusion. He looked down at his hand and the wrench he held in it. He had drifted off to his thoughts in the middle of what he had been doing.

“Oh no, Princess, it was the right one, thank you. I have only been thinking too hard.” He smiled at her softly and went on with his work.

“What have you been thinking about?” Dorothy wanted to know.

“About … what we could make for dinner tonight...” It was a mean white lie, but Dean had to start keeping Castiel out of Dot’s life, and he didn’t have time for long explanations, because Castiel would be here any minute anyway.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I can’t think about food yet. My tummy’s still all big from lunch.” Dorothy explained, puffing out her cheeks to pretend she was completely stuffed.

Dean chuckled at her antics and ruffled her hair, handing the wrench back. “That’s okay, we’ve still got enough time to think about it. Do you think we should have a movie night tonight?”

“Oh yes!” she gasped, “Can we watch Ind- Indisp- the Minions movie?”

“Of course, that’s a great choice.” Dean agreed. He looked up when he heard a car pull into the yard. “Hey, Dotty?” He asked, placing the wrench back in the open tool box and reaching down to pick her up. “How about we go and see what Uncle Bobby is doing? I bet he might need some help.”

“Okay, Daddy!” His little one wrapped her arms around his neck, pliant in his arms. Dean carried her through the back of the garage and across the backyard, hoping that she wouldn’t end up seeing Castiel’s car. Bobby met them at the back door and gave Dean a knowing look before taking Dorothy from him.

“I was just coming to look for you!” Her Uncle Bobby greeted, fake surprise on his face. “I need some help making chocolate chip cookies… I don’t think I added enough chips. Think you could help me out?” Dot’s eyes lit up and her response was cut off as Dean closed the backdoor and turned around to head back over to the garage where Castiel was probably already waiting.

He felt tense, no, he was tense, and his heart pounded hard and brokenly within his chest. This would be it, their final goodbye. He took a deep breath and put on a smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Cas smiled back, shifting uncomfortably on his own feet. He was leaning against the side of the car Dean had been working on, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. “So…”

“So …” Dean echoed and walked past Castiel, over to the workbench. He picked up the papers he’d put there before and moved back to the car and Castiel. “I guess that’s why you’re here,” he offered them to the other man.

Cas swallowed hard and stared at the papers in Dean’s hands. He should reach out and grab them, turn around and be on his way right back to Balthazar. Instead, he heard himself whisper, “You signed them?”

“I did. You deserve it… You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have ‘drama queen’ Winchester out of your life for good. I hope he treats you well, and I hope he really loves you. I regret that I didn't get the chance to see it first hand, but that was probably to be expected.I tried.” he added in an almost whisper.

Castiel swallowed hard, shoving his hands underneath his armpits to fight the urge to reach out. “I don’t…” he stopped, watching Dean carefully. “I don’t know why this hurts so much.” He laughed to himself, leaning his head back to look up at the sky. “I came here to have you sign these papers, that’s what I wanted, wasn’t it?” He looked at Dean again. “Wasn’t it?” He asked again.

Dean drew a shaky breath. Why was Cas doing this to him? Why didn’t he just take those damned papers and go? “Yes,” he murmured with as steady a voice as he could manage. “Yes, that’s what you came here for.”

Cas took a step forward and took the papers from Dean’s hands, holding them down against his side. Thoughts were racing around his head and he could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest. “Balthazar is a really good guy.”

“Well… I hope so.” Dean offered Castiel a sad, bittersweet smile. “Be happy, Cas. I hope you’ll never need those kinds of papers ever again.”

“What if I don’t want to be happy?” Cas said as he shook his head. He reached out to grab Dean’s arm when the other man turned to walk away. “I mean, what if I want more than that? Balthazar will give me everything I want, he will make me happy…” Cas took a step forward, shocking himself.

Get the papers and leave. That was the plan and Balthazar was waiting for him at home, ready and prepared to put this all behind them. But now that he was here, standing in front of Dean, looking at the hurt in his eyes as he stared back at Cas, he couldn’t do it. He didn’t _want_ to do it. His stomach clenched again and he wanted to scream.

“What if I want more than that, Dean? What if I want what I need? Because…” He swallowed hard, his hand moving down Dean’s arm and pulling him in closer. “Because I don’t think I need him...” he whispered, eyes searching Dean’s. “But I think I need _you_. I’ve always needed you.”

Dean looked down and turned his head away, shaking it lightly. “No, no, Cas, you don’t … Don’t... don’t do this to me, please. You want Balthazar, that’s why you’re here.”

“In the past ten years I have never stopped thinking about you, Dean. I have never stopped asking myself what happened… or wondering where you were… Waiting for you to contact me… waiting and waiting… but nothing ever happened…

“So finally I came here with the intention of ending this chapter, to move on and live my life with Balthazar… And then I saw you, and you looked so damn good, Dean… And…I… I’ve never stopped wanting it, not really. I’ve never stopped wanting what we could have had. And if you tell me now… that we have a chance? That we could be the ones to start a new chapter? I would take it, Dean. I would take it in a heartbeat.”

“You … you’re … you’re just confused, and scared of ending the chapter for good. Please, please just take the papers and go.” Dean’s eyes burned with tears threatening to fall. He’d have given anything to hear those words a day ago, two days ago … but now he’d made his choice. He’d decided to let Castiel go … again. He swallowed hard. “You’d regr- you shouldn’t let Balthazar go, he wants you.” - _And so do I…_ every nerve in his body seemed to scream.

"I'm going to kiss you," Cas ignored Dean's words and took a step forward until his chest was completely flush against Dean's. He let his hand trail upward to catch Dean's cheek, his fingers pressed against his jaw to pull his head down. "I'm going to kiss you unless you tell me you don't want this …that you don't want… me."

Dean had no words. He didn’t want Castiel to ruin his life by making a heat-of-the-moment choice. But he didn’t want to miss out on feeling those lips against his, either, one last time … He swallowed and blinked, causing a tear to roll down his cheek.

Cas wiped his thumb over Dean's cheek, spreading the tear before pulling him down and pressing their lips together. Dean was hesitant, frozen against him, but when his lips responded, Castiel let out a soft sigh and melted into him.

Dean kissed back, Castiel’s lips feeling like fire against his own. Warmth was spreading all through his body, and more tears followed freely. Cas moved to wipe them away, pulling back carefully so he could ask Dean what this meant for him, when he was suddenly shoved back.

He looked up quickly, shocked and hurt that Dean had pushed him away. He heard the sharp intake of his breath along with the sound of Balthazar’s fist hitting Dean’s face. Balthazar was shaking, his eyes rimmed red and he had a fist tangled in Dean’s shirt, slamming him repeatedly back against the workbench.

“Balt!” Cas heard himself scream and he watched transfixed as Balthazar punched Dean again. “Stop it!” He jumped forward, grabbing onto Balt’s arm and tried to pull him away. There was blood flowing down Dean’s face and Balt’s knuckles, but it was the frenzied, angry look in Balthazar’s eyes that had bile swirling in his stomach.

“Cas…” Dean’s voice sounded broken as he tore his eyes away from his assailant to look at Castiel…wanting to warn him to stay back. That single glance gave Balthazar the time he needed to shove the interfering Castiel roughly out of the way and onto the ground, so he could focus on Dean, his fists pounding once more into Dean’s unprotected stomach, then again into his face.

“Daddy!” Dorothy’s terrified scream cut across the yard as Castiel struggled to his knees by grabbing onto the closest car.

Cas peered over the fender of the vehicle to see a worried Bobby struggling with the little child in his arms, torn between keeping Dorothy away and moving to pull Balthazar off of Dean. “Daddy!” She desperately screamed again, sending a chill down Cas’s spine and he lurched forward, vomiting onto the garage floor.

“You ruined everything,” Balt’s voice was strange, distant as he slammed into Dean again, the two of them falling back off the side of the bench. Balthazar was now straddling Dean’s hips. Dean’s eyes were closed, refusing to fight back as Balthazar hit him again and again.

Now Bobby was there suddenly, pulling and twisting Balthazar’s arms behind his back and using his full weight to pull them backwards until Bobby was sitting on the ground with Balthazar pinned between his legs.

“Everything! You ruined everything!” the struggling man continued to scream.

Dean was still, his eyes still closed and Castiel could hear Dorothy and Balthazar's cries echoing through his mind. _No,_ he thought as he slumped back against the car, _I did… this is entirely my fault._


	12. Chapter 12

Dean winced. Everything ached or throbbed. His chest muscles and rib cage burned and clenched painfully as he tried to breathe, his eyelids felt swollen and as heavy as lead and refused to even crack open a small slit. Finally his hammering headache caused him to simply surrender to his beaten body’s exhaustion.

When he regained consciousness again, Dean felt sick and turned his head to the side, nausea rolling through him like a wave. He could hear the muffled beeping of a monitor, though it was a distant echo in his mind. He swallowed hard before taking a deep breath through his nose, exhaling slowly and hoping to push the nausea away with the additional air.

As his stomach calmed, he became aware of surroundings. He was lying on a bed -- a hospital bed, he imagined from the state of the scratchy sheets, thin blanket and firm mattress-- and he had some sort of wires and tubing connected to his left arm as well as attached to his right. He shifted, his entire body screaming out in protest as pain ripped through his side and his face throbbed. Above him he could hear the soft drip of the IV that slowly trickled into into his left arm, the steady coolness from the infusion sending a chill up his spine.

_What the fuck…_

Then he remembered… Castiel and his confession and his lips hot and warm against his own… Then Balthazar, his eyes angry and flashing as he came at Dean with fists and his hatred… Dot screaming out his name… The nausea returned.

His eyes flew open as he turned to the side again and retched, but nothing except some bile came up, leaving feeling even more nauseous. Dean winced sharply at the pain his sudden turn had caused to intensify. He let himself sink back into the mattress and the scratchy pillow.

“Do you need me to get a nurse?” Castiel whispered from off to the side of the bed, his voice breaking in through the fog in Dean’s head.

“Cas?” Dean croaked towards the ceiling, feeling too dizzy to dare turn his head again.

“Yeah, Dean… I’m here.” Cas took a step forward, standing at the side of the bed so Dean could see him without straining himself. “How… how are you feeling?”

“Peachy.” Dean groaned. “How … why you here?” Each word strained his vocal cords, causing him to cough. The internal pull from each cough felt like daggers stabbing through his forehead from the inside out. The coughing, in turn, triggered painful clenching in his ribs that had his whole torso wracked in pain.

Cas looked down at his hands, suddenly nervous. “I’m so sorry about what happened, Dean… I didn’t know he followed me… I never wanted this to happen…”

“Cas,” Dean half whispered hoarsely. “Where’s Dotty?”

“She’s with my Dad,” Cas replied quickly, grimacing slightly. “I hope that’s okay? I didn’t… I didn’t know if you wanted me to call Sam or how long it would take him to get here. Bobby is here with us, he’s just giving a statement to the police, but I didn’t think you wanted her here. If you do… um, we can get her, I mean… I don’t know…”

“No… no, that’s good.” Dean coughed, stars swimming before his eyes. “Is she... is she okay?”

Cas looked down again and let his eyes fall closed. “She’s pretty scared… Bobby called an ambulance and you were unconscious when they had you on the stretcher. She kept screaming for you to wake up and no matter what Bobby said she wouldn’t believe him that you weren’t dead… I tried to talk to her, but she wanted nothing to do with me...”

“My Baby … I … I need to… Can you help me call her?” Dean asked concerned, and hoping Castiel would allow him to.

“Of course!” Cas moved quickly away from the bed, returning a few seconds later with Dean’s own cell phone. “I gave Dad mine…” He explained as his fingers worked on the screen. “Since we both have the iPhone…” He trailed off and a distinct sound played through the room. “Hey Dad,” he answered, smiling down at the phone. “Dean just woke up… Figured a little face-to-face phone call with Dot would be the best way to help calm her fears a little.”

Chuck could be heard moving around the house and the door of a room opening before he was calling for Dotty softly. Immediately the muffled whimpers of the child could be heard and Castiel held the phone out in front of Dean at the same time Chuck handed it to Dorothy.

“Daddy?” The little girl’s worried voice broke as she grasped the phone tightly, her eyes huge and wet as she stared at her father’s face on the small screen.

“Dotty! Hey… little bear. I miss you…” Dean smiled weakly at the screen. He didn’t have the strength to fight the single tear rolling down his cheek.

“Daddy!” the child cried harder, thick wet tears sliding down her cheeks. “Cas’ bad friend was hurting you! I was calling for you and you didn’t answer …and you didn’t get up! You told me you would always come when I called and you didn’t and… and… then they took you away and they wouldn’t let me go with you!” Dot’s words came in huge gasps, her entire body shaking with sobs.

“Princess … I know. I’m so sorry! I … I’m so sorry I didn’t answer you...” Dean croaked. He gave Cas a pained look and just formed the word ‘water’ with his lips.

Castiel reached his free hand towards the tray table hovering close by and returned with a cup of water with ice chips and pressed the straw to Dean’s lips.

Dot’s voice rang out again, “Come home, Daddy… when are you going to come home? Bobby went with you and Cas took me to his Daddy’s house… but I don’t want Cas’s Daddy… I want my Daddy!”

Dean took a sip and felt his throat relax slightly. He gave Cas a thankful smile before turning back to Dorothy, the tiny phone screen.

“I don’t know yet. I really want to be with you too, but I need you to be a good girl and stay with Cas’s Dad for now, okay? I’ll tell you as soon as I know when I’ll be coming home.”

“But… I want you now, Daddy!” Dot’s words came out mumbled, she was sobbing too hard to be clearly understood. Cas could hear his father trying to comfort the little one and his heart broke at the sound of her sobs, knowing full well that he was responsible for putting them there.

“I’m going to try and get her to eat something and get some sleep, Dean,” Chuck had taken the phone from the child, her cries were now muffled in his shirt. He gave Dean a small, sad smile. “I’ll take good care of her…I promise.”

“Thank you, Chuck. I wish I could be with her,” Dean sighed.

“She does too, Son.” Chuck replied and said his goodbyes before hanging up the phone.

As Cas hung up as well, Dean hung his head dismally refusing to look at him.

Castiel took the phone and put it on the side table within Dean’s reach. He cleared his throat once, trying to get Dean’s attention but failing. “I… They… um…they arrested Balthazar,” he stammered out after a moment, shifting on his feet again. “The police are going to want to get a statement from you and are going to ask if you if you want to press charges.”

Dean huffed a sarcastic chuckle, still refusing to meet Cas’s eyes. “Can I press charges because my daughter’s hurting? Because my daughter thought she’d lost her dad, her single parent? That’s ... that’s why I would press charges …”

Cas swallowed hard and looked around the room to find a visitor’s chair. He delayed a response by dragging it over slowly before sinking down into it. “I think you should press charges.” He said after a moment. “I know it won’t help the emotional hurt it caused Dorothy but… He assaulted you, Dean. You’re in the hospital.”

“Why? Why do you want me to press charges against your fiancé? Why are you actually even here? You got what you wanted. You got the papers and a goodbye kiss...” Dean swallowed roughly and reached for the water.

“He isn’t my fiancé anymore...” Cas replied, watching as Dean took a sip of the water, looking for any reaction on his bruised and battered face.

Dean set the cup down before he choked on the water. His eyes, filled with hundreds of questions, finally found only “ …Cas…?”.

“It was… kind of mutual?” Cas gave a soft laugh, shaking his head. “He had no right to do that to you Dean, no matter what he was feeling or thinking. I gave him his ring back and told him that we couldn’t continue and he agreed, with a few choice words… So… Single again, I guess.”

“I’m sorry … I guess.” Dean mumbled. “But … yeah …” Dean sipped some more water. “So, what you gonna’ do now?”

“That kind of depends,” Cas’s voice was barely a whisper and he searched Dean’s face, begging Dean to look at him.

Dean took another sip before he pushed the cup away and struggled against the pain to sit more upright, looking at Castiel as he did. “On what?”

“You,” Cas said simply, trying to give Dean a hopeful smile, but nerves threatened to choke him.

Dean drew in a cautious deep breath. He didn’t know what to say. His head was swimming with so many things he could say, ranging from ‘What the fuck?” to “I’ve always been yours” and anything in between. He decided the wisest move was to say nothing and simply allow Cas to say his piece.

“I meant what I said, Dean,” Cas’ voice was quiet and he shifted in the chair. “I never stopped loving you. I don’t know… I don’t know where this can go or if it will even work, but I want to try, Dean. I want to try so badly...” Castiel’s mouth was still open, ready to push when there was a knock on the hospital room door and Bobby stepped into the room.

“Dean, you’re awake!” he said, a relieved smile crossing his face.

Dean passed Castiel a look that told the other man they weren’t done yet, then turned to Bobby with a pained smile. “Bobby, hey. Please tell me they said I can go home and be with Dotty...” Dean looked at his friend hopefully.

“The Police want to take a statement first,” Bobby crossed the room and took Dean’s hand in his own, patting the back of it with a fond smile. “But then I’ll see about getting you out of here.”

“Friggin’ statement …Fine. Can I get that over with asap?” Dean sighed.

“I’ll show them in,” Bobby chuckled at him and turned back for the door. He slipped out and the room was silent again, the tension and awkwardness thick enough to cut with a knife. Cas cleared his throat again but before he could utter a word Bobby was back, pushing the door wide open. 

Dean tried to sit up more, without disturbing the tubes too much. Cas almost moved to help him, but froze, uncertain.

“Dean, you know Officer Hanscum. And this is her partner Officer Hamilton.”

“Hey, Donna, how’s the Sierra these days?” Dean half smirked at Officer Hanscum.

“Running like a beaut’.” Donna Hanscum smiled at him, giving a soft laugh. “How about that little girl of yours? She doing okay?”

“Pretty upset ’bout all this, you know?” Dean sighed.

Donna gave him a small smile and nodded. “Let’s get this over with and get you home to her then, okay?”

“Yes, please.” Dean smiled at her gratefully.

“Do you want these gentlemen to step out for a few minutes?” Officer Hamilton stepped closer to the bed, intense brown eyes glancing between Castiel and Bobby before settling back on Dean.

“Um … I don’t know … “Dean thought about it for a second and then shook his head slightly. “No, I guess it’s okay if they stay.” he replied.

“Alright,” Donna smiled at him and took a notepad out of her pocket. Beside her, Officer Hamilton had a pad of paper and took position over the tray table, ready to write as well. “Alright, Dean, I need you to tell me in your own words exactly what happened, okay? I need you to be as detailed as possible.”

“I … I’m not sure I remember all the details, but okay... Well, I was at the salvage yard and I was talking to Castiel. And … uh … we … um … we kissed and then his fiancé - ex-fiancé - came from out of nowhere and started throwing punches.” Dean recalled.

“Did you see him coming up to you? Did he threaten you in any manner before he started throwing punches? Where did he hit you and did he say anything?” Donna pushed, jotting down notes in her pad while Hamilton was scribbling away on the sheet before him.

“No. I hadn’t seen him coming. I was kinda’ focused on Cas... and I don’t remember him saying anything, no threats … nothing. He just appeared and his fist connected with my face.”

Donna nodded once, pursing her lips in thought. “Any other details you want us to add? Anything else specific that you can remember?”

“He shoved Cas to the ground when he tried to pull the guy off me. And… even Dotty’s screams didn’t make him halt. That’s all... I’m sorry. I can’t remember much else… except his fists.”

“No, no that’s good.” Donna smiled at him and looked over her shoulder at Hamilton who was finishing up writing. “I need you to read this over, and if anything sounds wrong or off tell us so we can fix it. It’s really important that this is exactly how you want it.” She took the paper when Hamilton was done and handed it over to Dean to read.

Dean nodded at her and took the paper, reading what Officer Hamilton had made of his words, then handed it back. “It sounds about right to me.”

Donna took the page back and nodded at Hamilton. “Last question… We have Mr. Low in custody… Do you want to press charges for simple assault?”

“I’d rather press charges for traumatizing my daughter, but I guess that’s impossible.”

“Unfortunately not, though I wish there was…” Donna smiled knowingly.

“Then there’s no charges I want to press. I have no interest in dealing with him further.”

“Dean,” Cas leaned forward, speaking suddenly, his eyes showing his confusion. “He put you in the hospital…”

“I didn’t fight back, so it’s partly my fault. Cas … I just want him out of my life and my daughter’s, please. Those three days were enough.”

Cas nodded his head, letting his eyes fall to the floor.

"Alright, Dean, that's all we need for now." Donna said and patted his leg gently.

“Thank you, Donna. Thank you, Officer,” he nodded at both officers.

Bobby walked to the door with them and muttered a goodbye before shutting the door.

"Alright, Dean, let's see about getting you out of here," Bobby smiled and then looked over at Cas. "I could use your help, Castiel."

Cas nodded reluctantly and pushed out of the chair, throwing a look at Dean before slipping out of the room with Bobby.

Dean lay on the couch, Dorothy snuggled up to his side, fast asleep. Her tears had left streaks on her little dirt-smudged cheeks, which neither of them had yet bothered to wipe away.

Since he had given his statement, he hadn’t had a chance again to speak with Castiel alone. Bobby had been fussing over him the entire time and Castiel had seemed a bit distant.

Dean had insisted he’d be allowed to go home, to his own place, which had caused a lot of grumbling from Bobby, who repeated again and again, that Dean should come to his place so he could take care of him, make sure he didn’t pass out or the like. But finally he had given in to Dean’s wish to sleep in his own bed. So they had called Chuck and told him to meet them at Dean’s and bring Dorothy home to her Daddy.

Of course Bobby had stayed some more, to make sure Dean was settled alright for the night. Castiel though, had left with his father.

Dean glanced down at Dotty again, his heart breaking as he thought of how his tiny daughter had burst into tears the moment Chuck walked her through the front door. Pulling her hand free of Chuck’s she had launched herself into her Daddy’s arms. She had cried and cried against his shoulder, clinging to his jacket as if any moment he would be gone again. Now that she had finally fallen asleep? The fear on her features had relaxed at last and she was hopefully dreaming of sweet and happy things instead of remembering the scene she had seen earlier? Dean wanted nothing more than to let her sleep. He glanced over at the clock on the wall and sighed softly, knowing he should probably get Dorothy up and into her own bed and get to sleep himself.

Dean fumbled for his phone without waking his daughter, wincing as he switched it on and the bright light assaulted his eyes, momentarily blinding him. Once he had somehow gotten used to it, he chose text messages and typed.

Dean smiled lightly. Cas wanted to see him. After the other man’s slightly distant behavior earlier, this felt almost special. It didn’t sound as though he was simply doing it out of a sense of duty, as if Cas thought he had to come and help him. No, it sounded sincere. Though, of course, text messages were often open to interpretation, but Dean was almost sure he got it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are thinking about playing with some time stamps. What are some scenes you would all like to see??


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are loving the ideas for some time stamps!! Thank you guys <3

Castiel took his time pulling into the driveway, nerves fluttering through his stomach as he placed the car in ‘park’. Exhaling slowly he pushed the driver’s door and looked around the yard for the bird house Dean had mentioned in order to find the key. Thank God it was only five feet above the ground, all the way over he’d wondered about his ability to use a ladder in his nervous condition. Steeling himself, he took another deep breath, retrieved the key and stood on the front porch for a few calming breaths before unlocking the door and letting himself into the house.

Dean’s face was a happy grin when he heard the door unlock. Since Dorothy was sleeping, he didn’t call out for Cas, but hoped he’d just come straight into the living room.

Cas closed the door behind him and clicked the lock in place again. He placed the spare key on the window sill and turned around to find where Dean and Dorothy were.

Dean waited, feeling a bit stupid to be seen like this, trapped on the couch by his sleeping daughter, unable to tell Cas where to go. But after the earlier scare and Dotty being afraid to let Dean out of her sight, he didn’t want it any other way. 

Cas hesitated for a moment more in the doorway before toeing off his shoes and stepping further into the foyer, looking first to the right and into the kitchen before choosing the left doorway. He was rewarded with the sight of Dean smiling at him from the couch, his little daughter curled up against him, asleep.

“Hey,” Castiel smiled and moved into the room further.

“Hey,” Dean half whispered. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“It’s really no problem, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else...” Cas replied honestly, sinking down in the recliner across from the couch. “How are you feeling right now?”

“Been better. But I’m with Dotty again and that’s all that matters,” Dean replied. “And you’re here too… so, apart from the pain, I feel great,” he smiled at Cas.

“How is she?” Cas gave him a gentle smile in response and let his eyes trail over Dorothy’s sleeping form.

“Better now. She’s, understandably, been pretty clingy, still cried a lot, but it’s getting better…” Dean sighed deeply, wincing a little at the pain he felt from breathing too deeply. “I wanna’ twist his balls off for Dot’s sake.”

Cas looked guilty and bit his lower lip, twisting his hands in his lap. “I’m so sorry, Dean… If I had known… if I’d had any idea he would follow me or anything... I’m so fucking sorry.”

“No! Please… don’t be sorry. Don’t … I mean … unless you regret kissing me...” Dean looked down.

“No,” Cas whispered, eyes flicking up to Dean’s. “Never regret it.”

“And … you really meant all the things you said? At the garage, in hospital … ?” Dean gulped lightly before anxiously meeting Cas’s eyes.

“Let’s get Dot upstairs, then we can talk.” Cas smiled and pushed out of the chair, crossing over to stand in front of Dean. “Yeah?”

Dean nodded. “Yes, let’s get her to bed.”

Cas leaned down and slipped his hands beneath Dotty’s back, lifting her carefully into the air. She shifted in her sleep, curling into Castiel’s chest but didn’t wake. Castiel looked down at her, her face calm and relaxed, peaceful. It caused a protective flutter in Cas’s chest and he held her tighter against him.

Dean watched Cas and swallowed hard around the lump in his throat the sight before him had caused. He got up shakily and pushed himself awkwardly off the couch. He moved past Cas. “This way.” he said in a low voice and started ascending the stairs.

Castiel followed him silently up the stairs. At the top, his arm brushed Dean’s chest when Dean held a door open a short distance down the hallway. The room was painted a soft lavender with a small nightlight casting pink and white stars onto the ceiling. Cas smiled at it and made his way over to the small bed, decked out in sheets decorated with repetitions of the word ‘Princess’ and crowns across them. Dean pulled the covers back, letting Cas lay Dorothy down. Once the child was comfortably situated Cas stepped back to let Dean tuck her in the rest of the way.

Dean tucked his little angel in, laying her teddy in her arms and kissing her forehead. Then he turned around, nodded at Cas and they left the room together.

Once Dean shut the door, Castiel reached for him, sliding his hand over his bicep and turning Dean to face him. He raised a hand, letting it settle gently on Dean’s cheek. “Are you really okay?” He questioned, the worry and guilt he felt washed over his features.

“Yeah. I’m okay. I’ll be fine again soon enough. Just need a little rest.” Dean replied, slightly leaning into Castiel’s touch.

“You should probably get some sleep too…” Castiel trailed off. “Are you taking any pain medication or anything? I can get you some Tylenol or water or anything you need, before you go to sleep?”

“I got some Tylenol, thanks. Thank you for taking care of us, Cas,” Dean replied, eyes fixed on the other man’s.

Castiel nodded quickly, sliding his hand back from Dean’s cheek and shifting uncomfortably. He didn’t know what to do, what would be appropriate. He licked his lower lip and looked back up at Dean. “Do you… uh, do you want me to stay the night in case you need anything?”

Dean’s eyes lit up as he looked at Castiel. “That would be great, yes. Well, only if you’re comfortable with it, though...”

“Yeah,” Cas nodded quickly. “I told Dad I probably wasn’t coming home… I can sleep downstairs if you want me to…”

“What … what if I choke on vomit?” Dean tilted his head a little. He had wanted it to sound like a joke, but he was actually afraid of it happening.

Cas’ eyes widened and he stared at Dean. “That… did the doctor say that could happen?”

“I still feel pretty nauseous whenever I move, and… I don’t know, maybe I’m overreacting, but … Cas, please stay with me.”

Cas swallowed hard and nodded. “Of course,” he whispered, his heart starting to jackhammer in his chest.

“I promise to stay on my side of the bed, to wear super thick PJs and to not touch you. Anything it takes for you to stay...” Dean offered reassuringly.

“I’m already here, Dean...” Cas whispered, taking a small step forward. “I remember how much you hate wearing anything to bed… has that changed in the last ten years? I think you being comfortable is what's most important…”

“I have a little daughter crawling into my bed sometimes, so, yeah, it has changed a little.” Dean smirked lightly, feeling happy that Cas remembered though.

“Dean,” Cas’ voice was still a whisper and he met Dean’s eyes carefully before continuing. “I’m going to kiss you again… if that’s okay with you?”

Dean froze, warmth pooling in his belly. He swallowed hard before he whispered, “…Okay.”

Slowly Cas slid his arm around Dean’s waist, pulling him closer, his eyes trailing Dean’s lips as he nervously licked his own. Cas’s eyes flicked up once again to meet Dean’s still staring at him, waiting for his move. He closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together, careful not to hurt Dean’s injured nose or any of the bruises on his face.

Dean relaxed into Castiel’s touch the moment their lips touched. He sighed softly into the kiss. Cas shifted them, kissing Dean with more passion, his hand moving to the small of Dean’s back. Castiel felt free, like all of the weight was off of his shoulders, like this was where he was meant to be. 

Slowly Dean’s hand finally found its way to Castiel’s side as well, and Dean kissed back just as fervently, almost hungry for the lips and the man he had run away from all those years before.

Finally Cas pulled back, leaning his forehead against Dean’s, gasping softly for breath. “Probably shouldn’t make out in front of Dorothy’s door, huh?” He asked with a smile.

“Probably not, you’re right.” Dean agreed and slipped his hand into Castiel’s, lightly tugging him toward the master bedroom. Castiel allowed himself to be pulled along, his heart pounding in his ears as Dean pushed open the door and eased them both inside. Suddenly, Castiel was nervous, more nervous than he had been in a long time.

“Dean, should we talk… or…” He trailed off, looking up to meet Dean’s eyes.

“I guess we should.” Dean sighed. Kissing was good, but there were still too many things left unsaid. “May I lay down, though? I’m feeling pretty worn.”

“Yeah… of course…” Castiel nodded quickly and followed Dean over to the large queen-size bed that sat in the center of the room. He sank down to sit on one side after pulling back the covers and watched as Dean laid down beside him, fighting back a grimace from the strain the movement put on his ribs.

“So …. Cas …. what is this really?” Dean asked low. “Where do we stand? What do we want? No… what do _you_ want?”

“I want to try this, Dean,” Cas whispered, laying back and turning so he could look at Dean. “I want to see where this can go. I… I realize now that I didn’t push you to sign those papers like I should have when I first came to town, and now I understand the reason for that… Balthazar just saw it before I did… even this morning, I thought I was fully planning on getting this done with and moving on with my life with him in New York.

“But then you had those papers, signed and ready, and it … it hurt. It hurt so fucking much… I don’t… I don’t know where this is going to go, if we can fix this and have a relationship, but I know that I want to try and I don’t want to submit those papers. I don’t think we need to act like a married couple, I don’t even think we are a couple. But I would like to be… I would like to… date you, I guess?”

Dean took a deep breath, pushing down the ‘yes, yes, yes’, that his head and heart were chanting right then. Castiel was still able to do that to him, make him lose all rational thought and act on impulse, but he now realized that if he wanted another chance, he had to learn to control it, before he got Castiel hurt again.

He drew in another painful breath, “Cas… I want to try this too. I wanted to the moment I recognized you when Dotty had knocked you over. I never wanted to sign those papers, and Balthazar being all snarky to me didn’t help. But I saw you hurting over how Balthazar and I weren’t getting along. I saw you hurting and… it broke my heart. I wanted you happy, and you seemed so convinced you would be happy with him….” Dean sighed deeply, trying to remember what he was actually trying to say.

“I was happy, I guess…” Cas started before shrugging his shoulders. “But I was never complete. I still used to think about you, all the time. I’m sure Balt knew it, in some sense, all along… It wasn’t fair to him, me not being ‘over’ you.”

Dean offered a small smile. “That’s what Bobby said … well, the other way around. I’ve never been over you. I’ve … I tried. I’ve been out on dates a lot lately, but mostly because I wanted Dotty to have something more family-like than just me and her …and I wanted to give her more than me dragging her along to work because there’s no one else to take care of her. It wasn’t so much about ‘me’ missing something in my life but what was missing from hers. But … well, the fact that nothing had worked out, I guess that actually had more to do with me missing something in my life, or rather someone...” Dean nervously pulled at his bottom lip with his front teeth. “Well, I guess what I’m trying to say…” he continued, having let go of his lip, “is that there was a huge Cas-shaped hole, and I’d really love to see if you still fit in there.”

“Dean… I have to know,” Cas chewed at his lower lip and pressed his hands against his sides to hide the fact that they were shaking. “Why did you leave in the first place?”

Dean closed his eyes and lifted his head to stare at the ceiling. “I,” he started with a shaky voice. Of course, Cas would have asked that question eventually and he, of all people, had the right to know. “I was scared. I was so scared… I had let other people’s opinions get to me instead of fighting for my own. My parents - my father had said our marriage was a mistake, and after hearing it again and again and again I started believing it, I thought you would be so much better off without me.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me, Dean?” Cas swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment. “You never had a problem talking to me before… If this is going to work? We have to be able to talk to each other...”

“We do, and I will… I will do my very fucking best to talk to you … I have no idea, Cas, why I couldn’t back then … I just snapped and … running away from my problems was what I had learned from him … I’ve grown up, Cas, I know now that what I did was wrong, but before …? I’d felt too ashamed to try and contact you. Can you forgive me? Not the running away part, you know, …but the not contacting…”

Instead of answering Cas rolled over closer until he was hovering over Dean’s body, careful not to put any weight on his chest or his ribs. He leaned down and met Dean’s lips with a soft kiss. “Already done,” he said with a sweet, gentle smile.

Dean’s eyes lit up brightly as he smiled up at Cas. “You’re still that same amazing guy that I fell in love with. I so want this to work.”

“I do too, Dean,” Cas agreed, smiling back at him. “So much… You should probably get some sleep. What, uh, what are we going to say to Dotty if she wakes up before we do?”

Dean laughed softly. “I have no idea… you can think about that, I explained the other time...” he winked.

“Oh… thanks,” Cas laughed and kissed Dean again before shifting back over to his side of the bed. He settled the covers over both of them and found Dean’s hand with his, intertwining their fingers together. “Sleep well, Dean.”

“I will now.” He squeezed Castiel’s hand lightly. “Thank you for being here.”

Cas smiled back and shut his eyes. He felt like his heart was on fire, his body was floating, even though the events of today were ones he wished had never happened. If that meant getting here, where they were right now, he wouldn’t change a thing.

Castiel awoke to the faint buzzing from his phone and he groaned as he fished it out of his pocket. _Dad_ flashed across the screen and he silenced it quickly, tossing a look over at Dean who was still fast asleep. Castiel smiled; Dean always looked so peaceful, relaxed when he slept, like nothing bad, in the entire world, could ever reach him. Carefully, Cas leaned over and pressed his lips gently against Dean’s forehead before slipping out of the warmth and comfort of the bed and into the hallway to call his Dad back.

 _“Cas?”_ His dad answered on the second ring. _“You okay? I know you didn’t know if you were coming home last night… but I thought I would’ve heard from you after you dropped Balthazar off…”_

“Yeah, so sorry, Dad. I should have called, but…” Cas said and made his way downstairs to leave the sleeping Winchesters to their peaceful slumbering. “I ended up going to Dean’s.” Silence met him on the other end. “Dad?”

_“Yeah, I’m still here... You, ah, spent the night then?”_

“Yeah…” Cas answered as he moved into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He glanced at the wall and saw it wasn’t even seven a.m. “Why are you up at the crack of dawn?”

 _“I’m still going to worry about you, even when you’re old and grey like I am,”_ Chuck replied with a laugh. _“Look, Cas…”_ He cleared his throat and Cas paused with his hand on the coffee pot, waiting. _“I know that there’s a lot of history between you and Dean, and you know I just want you to be happy, but don’t… don’t rush into this, okay? There’s a lot you have to think about.”_

“I know, Dad. I just spent the night to help him out with Dot, it’s not like I’m moving all of my things halfway across the country to move in with him or anything.”

Chuck sighed before continuing. _“I just don’t want you rushing into anything.”_ His _like before_ was left unsaid but hung heavy in the air. _“You know what you deserve to have and I don’t want you to be hurt again.”_

“I know, Dad.” Cas had a hundred different retorts and arguments to throw back at him. _Dean wouldn’t do that, hurt me again. We’re going to work on things, we’ll be happy. This is going to work._ But the fact of the matter was that it had been ten years, and as much as Castiel still loved Dean? That was the Dean of his childhood, the one sleeping upstairs had grown up and changed. And his Dad was only looking out for him. “We’re going to take things slow… I suggested dating, seeing how that works.”

 _“I’m proud of you Castiel,”_ Chuck whispered, his voice gone soft. _“Don’t think I’ve told you that enough, but I am. You know what you’re doing.”_

“Thanks, Dad,” Cas replied happily, smiling at the phone. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? And I’ll let you know if I’m not coming back tonight.”

_“Alright, love you.”_

“Love you too, Dad.”


	14. Chapter 14

**I am posting early because I am sick and I'm afraid I am going to fall asleep and be late!! Hope you guys enjoy :D**

Castiel almost dropped the plate he was carrying when a soft gasp behind him caused him to spin around. A sleepy Dot was standing in the kitchen doorway, a pink knitted blanket clenched tightly in one fist up against her shoulder as she stared wide-eyed at Castiel.

“Where’s …my Daddy?” She stammered fearfully, voice muffled by the blanket.

“He’s upstairs sleeping, honey…” Cas answered, moving forward to quickly go to a knee to be at her eye level. “But I made breakfast for us so he could get a little more sleep, okay? What do you say, kiddo? Waffles and bacon sound good?”

Dorothy hesitated and it broke Castiel’s heart to see her darting around warily. Finally her stomach, and love for bacon, won out and she nodded slowly before crawling into her normal seat. He served her a large waffle and pushed the plate of bacon towards her before going for the maple syrup in the fridge.

“If you’re here with Daddy and me… is your mean friend coming over too?” she stammered fearfully as Cas sat down beside her, fixing his own waffle. She continued as tears began to well along her lashes. “I don’t like him! He hurt my Daddy. I don’t want him to come to our house….ever!”

“No, Dotty… He’s not going to be around anymore, you don’t have to worry about him, okay?” He tried to give her a reassuring smile but her eyes still swam with tears. “Hey, hey, it’s okay! I promise you, he went back home, okay? It’s just you, me and your Daddy here.”

“Did you know your friend was going to hurt my Daddy?” Dot fixed him with a questioning, reproachful stare from across her breakfast plate, her tiny pink fork hovering above her plate.

“No, Dorothy. I am so sorry about what he did to your daddy yesterday. I didn’t want any of that to happen, and I didn’t know that he was going to hurt Dean. I would have stopped it if I had known, I promise...”

Dorothy eyed him for a moment more until she seemed to accept his words and dug into her waffle.

“Did you and Daddy sleep on the couch again?” She asked around a bite, snaking her tongue out to lick at the maple syrup that dripped from the corner of her mouth.

“Oh, …um, no…” Cas trailed off, wishing that he had decided to wake up Dean after all. He was not even slightly prepared for this conversation. “I stayed over in case your Daddy got sick or needed help… and to make you some good breakfast.”

Thankfully, Dorothy accepted that answer and seemed to accept Cas being there as okay. He had been worried the little girl would be afraid of him after the events of the day before and he couldn’t deny the dread he’d felt when she had asked if he had known what Balthazar was going to do. As if he would have allowed or even suspected that Balt had any intention of hurting Dean… as if he would have wanted something so horrible to happen…

After his answer she ate her waffle happily, crunching on her bacon in between bites, and smiling at Cas the entire time. All was forgiven. He smiled back at her, eating his own breakfast, amazed at how good her acceptance felt and realizing how badly it had hurt when she had refused to even look at him yesterday.

“So, what do you think we should do today while your daddy sleeps?” he asked as he cleared the table, putting the butter and syrup back into the fridge and slipping the dirty dishes into the sink. Dorothy leaned back in her chair, her little legs swinging back and forth. Her eyes were wide and she immediately had a huge grin spread across her face. “Something that your daddy would approve of,” he amended quickly.

“You’re no fun!” Dotty giggled, slipping out of her chair and going over to slip her hand into Cas’s. “Daddy usually lets me watch Sunday morning cartoons, as long as I watch the good stuff...” She tugged enthusiastically on his arm, pulling him into the living room. “He says that Bugs Bunny is the bestest best thing since sliced bread...” She climbed up onto the couch, settling against Cas’s side when he sat down as well. “Though... “ she wrinkled up her nose, large green eyes staring up at him, “bread is always sliced, so I don’t think he really knows what he’s talking about.”

Castiel just laughed in response and turned on the cartoons.

Dean woke up finding his bed empty and the sheets on Cas’s side cool to the touch. His heartbeat quickened and he gasped a low ‘No!’. But Castiel wouldn’t just leave him like that, would he? Well, at least the Castiel he had known ten years ago wouldn’t have.

No, even today’s Castiel still wouldn’t do that, Dean was convinced he wouldn’t. And then, when the sound of Castiel’s laughter could be heard from the living room, Dean let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and slowly sank back into his pillow more comfortably.

The sound of his phone, vibrating on the side table finally pulled him from sleep completely.

He sat up slowly and reached for the phone, sliding his fingers over the screen to answer the call. Having taken in the caller’s name on the screen, he only answered with a sleepy grunt.

_“Morning, Jerk.”_

“Mornin’ ...” Dean sighed and rubbed the last of sleep from his eyes.

_“You still sleeping? I’d have thought my favorite niece would have woken you up by now.”_

“She’s your only niece, bitch.” Dean rolled his eyes. “And yeah, she’s awake, but she’s downstairs and being babysat.”

 _“Wait… she’s being’ babysat’ while you’re home?”_ Sam snorted down the other line. _“You got yourself a nanny? Getting too old, huh, Dean?”_

“Yeah, don’t you know it...” Dean huffed a laugh. “Actually, no, not a nanny. Just someone staying over to check that I keep to the doctor’s advice.”

 _“Doctor?”_ Sam paused for a moment and Dean heard an audible sigh. _“What the hell did you get yourself into now? Are you okay? Is Dotty okay? And why the hell didn’t you call me, Dean?! Here I am, calling to talk to you about Dotty’s birthday and you casually throw out that you needed someone to stay with you because you’re -- what? Sick? Hurt?”_

“Listen, it’s nothing. And Cas didn’t want to worry you while no one knew how bad things were yet. …. I’m okay, it’s only a mild concussion and a broken nose…and a couple of cracked ribs.” Dean sighed a little. “ I’m okay…really.”

 _“Jesus, Dean. I’m getting on a plane. What the fuck happened to cause all of that?”_ Sam sighed and then paused again. _“Cass? As in… Cassie or Cassandra? Or… do you mean…”_ an audible gasp came across the line.

“Sammy, don’t! It’s not worth you spending money on a ticket! Stay where you are and study, or whatever you actually do.” Dean took a deep breath and sighed heavily. “Cas as in… Castiel...” he answered slowly, preparing himself for the shitstorm Sam was about to unleash.

 _“What?”_ Sam gasped, a small choked sound coming from his throat. _“Cas? Castiel Shirley? Your like, husband Cas, who you haven’t seen in ten fucking years is downstairs with your kid? You better fucking spill Dean, or I am getting on a goddamn plane!”_

“Yes, Cas Shirley… my husband.” Dean snorted, knowing how damn ridiculous and unbelievable this sounded. “He came here to get divorce papers signed, ‘cause he, well, he apparently didn’t know we were still legally married and he wanted to marry his boyfriend and then found out there’s still me and he needed a divorce - “

 _“This shit is straight out of a soap opera.”_ Sam’s voice was quiet and disbelieving and Dean knew the signs of his brother over-thinking things. But before he could cut his brother off, Sam continued. _“So… He came for his divorce papers and ended up playing housewife? Want to explain that part?”_

“What if I said ‘no’?”

_“Then…I’ll call Bobby.”_

“No, you won’t.” Dean argued.

 _“Dean, you can just fucking tell me what’s going on, or I can call Bobby… and we both know he’ll tell me… or… I can get on a plane and come see for myself.”_ Sam’s voice was hard, determined.

“Bitch.” Dean muttered. “We’re trying to give us another chance,” he told his brother matter-of-factly.

Sam was quiet for a moment and Dean knew he was rolling all of the possible responses around in his head. Finally he spoke, his voice careful, _“Do you think this is a good idea?”_

“It’s probably neither a good idea, nor a bad idea. But it’s the idea I like best. I still … love him, Sammy, you know? I never stopped…not for a day. And Dot likes him, and I want him to be around… and … and he still kisses so well.”

 _“Too much, Dean, too much...”_ Sam laughed softly and cleared his throat. _“You know I have your back, Dean… Always wanted you to just be happy. I don’t get, though, how this ended up with you getting a broken nose, the ribs and a concussion?”_

“Did you hear me telling you he wanted the divorce because he wanted to re-marry?” Dean asked making his eye roll nearly audible.

_“You’re joking. Tell me you’re fucking joking.”_

“Do I sound like I’m joking? Guy fucking beat me up in Bobby’s garage.”

Sam swore. His voice was hard and angry, _“I’m going to fucking kill him.”_

Dean grinned as he came into the living room. “Good morning, you two, did you sleep well?” Dean using in his best impression of Daffy Duck.

Cas looked up, his and Dorothy's eyes darting to Dean as he made his presence known.  
"Hey Daddy! Cas made me waffles!" Dot beamed at her Dad, bouncing on the couch beside Cas. "He saved you some too! They're the bestest best waffles I've ever had!"  
"Dad's recipe…again," Cas shrugged, giving Dean a small smile. "I put a fresh pot of coffee on as well... How’re you feeling?"

"I'm feeling okay, thanks." Dean entered the room and gingerly lowered himself onto the couch cushion beside his daughter. "You really left me the bestest waffles? Wow, you're so generous. I'll eat them soon, but I need a hug first." He grinned at Dorothy. “But a careful hug okay ?”

Dorothy giggled and turned into her Dad's arms, trying to gently get her arms around his entire body. Cas watched them both, a small smile on his face.  
"I'll get it for you," he said as he stood up from the couch, knowing both Daughter and Father could use a minute. "And I'll get you some more juice too!" he snagged Dotty's cup from the table and slipped into the kitchen.

Dean watched Castiel leave and cast his eyes downward. He hugged his daughter gently and pressed his lips against her temple. "How are you, Princess? Did you behave well for Cas?"

"Yeah," she nodded and leaned softly against his side, throwing her little legs up over his lap. "I went down stairs and saw it was Cas and not you this morning and I was afraid... but Cas said you were sleeping and needed more sleep and not to worry because he made that bad man go away."

"Yes, he did. You must never be afraid of Castiel. Castiel is a good man." Dean tucked a strand of hair behind Dot's ear. "Your Uncle Sammy just called. He said to tell you, that you should write him a letter and let him know what you want for your birthday. He also said he'll come to your party with Jessica."

Dorothy gasped, her eyes widening. "Oh! Jessica going to come to my party too? She said the next time she came to visit she was going to show me how to make friendship bracelets!"

"Yes, Jessica is coming to your party." Dean grinned at his daughter's enthusiasm about his news. "I'm sure she'll remember her promise."

"Do you think Uncle Sammy and Jessica are going to get married, Daddy? I like her…lots!" Dorothy cocked her head to the side. "I bet she would look like a princess in a wedding dress, don't you, Papa Bear?"

"Yes, I think she would. But if and when they're going to get married is their decision to make. But it would be nice if they would," Dean ruffled her hair fondly.

Dorothy sat back, a thoughtful expression on her face. Castiel cleared his throat once and gave them both a smile before stepping back into the living room with a plate of steaming waffles and bacon and a big mug of fresh, hot coffee.

"Still like it black, right?" he asked as he put them both in front of Dean before slipping back onto his spot on the couch on the other side of Dot. Dean nodded gratefully and moved to start cutting up his waffles.

"Daddy..." Dotty said slowly, glancing between them both. "When you and Cas got married, did one of you wear a dress?"

Dean almost choked on his waffle. He glanced over at Cas while he coughed and cleared his throat. "No, Love, neither of us wore a dress. But I think I would have looked good in one back then."

"That's because you're so pretty, Daddy," Dorothy leaned up and gave him a wet kiss to the side of his face before settling back down to watch the cartoons, that conversation now, apparently, thankfully ended.

"Very pretty," Cas mouthed over Dean's head, giving him a wink.

Dean smiled at Cas and took another bite of his waffle. "Sammy says ‘hey’." He told Castiel after he swallowed.

"Oh, you told Sam I was here?" Cas's eyes widened, surprised for a moment. "Not that you couldn't have... Just..." he shrugged, glancing down at Dot for a moment, smiling at her engrossed expression as the Roadrunner 'beep beeped' on the screen and she giggled. "Good…um, tell him I say ‘hi’ back, if you talk to him again.."

"Well, it sort of came up in our conversation. He called me this morning, just a little bit ago." Dean explained before going back to his breakfast.

Cas nodded and watched Dean out of the corner of his eye, fighting back a smile the entire time. There was so much more left to talk about, so many things to hammer out and decide, but right now? Sitting on the couch with Dorothy and Dean felt right, felt comfortable, almost like he belonged. He was afraid to break the spell, to ruin the moment.

Dean sipped his coffee and glanced at the TV from time to time laughing with Dorothy. When he had finished his waffles he leaned back and smiled at Castiel. "Those were indeed the best waffles."

"Thanks," Cas smiled and rose to take the plate to the kitchen. "No, you sit..." he spoke quickly, shaking his head as Dean moved to stand up. "I've got this."

"Hey... But you're .... It's my place, I should do this. You already made breakfast. That means a lot to me."

"You need to rest," Cas shook his head, holding the plate out of reach. "You may say you're fine? But you spent yesterday in the hospital. Dorothy?" Cas met the little girl's eyes and smirked. "Make sure your Daddy doesn't get up to help me in the kitchen, okay? He needs to be really careful not to hurt his ribs and he can only do that while he's sitting down."

Dean sighed but gave in and also let Dot climb gently onto his lap. "Now he can't leave." Dorothy smirked and tried to wink at Castiel, squeezing both eyes shut at once.

Castiel laughed and gave the girl a high five before escaping into the kitchen to clean up the dishes and the mess from breakfast.

"Traitor," Dean laughed and kissed Dorothy's head. "You're supposed to be on my side. I'm your father," Dean pouted.

"But, Daddy, I don't want you to get more hurt than you are..." Dotty chewed worriedly on her bottom lip, suddenly afraid she had made her dad upset. "Don't be mad at me, Daddy." She leaned her head back, giving a pout right back at him.

"Oh, Princess, I'm not mad at you. I'm very touched that you're caring for me so much. It's good to know you're more sensible than your old man," Dean wrapped his arms around her, wincing internally at the pull on his ribs.

She smiled and leaned back comfortably into her Dad's arms, happy to return to her cartoon watching.

Castiel spent the entire day lounging around with the Winchesters -- fighting playfully with Dean over making lunch and then dinner, helping Dot take a bath when it proved to be too painful for Dean to get down to the floor beside the tub, and then being roped into reading the little one three bedtime stories and having an impromptu shadow puppet show on the wall before Dean told them firmly that it was a school night and it was bed time.

Now, he sat on the end of the bed, watching as Dean struggled out of his shirt to change into a fresh t-shirt for bed. Seeing the bruises made Cas’s eyes feel wet all over again. "If you're hurting... why don't you take something?" Cas asked after seeing another grimace of pain cross Dean's face.

"I'm okay, Castiel, I got this. I don't need anything." He turned around to face Castiel. "All I need is for you to be here."

"So... you want me to stay again?" Cas whispered, eyes darting up Dean's body to meet his. "Not sick of me yet?" He chuckled, trying not to show how relieved he felt. The moment Dot had been put down to sleep, it was as if they were blanketed with a newfound sense of tension and insecurity. He had been afraid Dean would ask him to leave...

"I do. But I won't force you..." Dean looked down, offering Cas a way out if he wanted it.

Cas stood up and slowly closed the distance between them. With his hands loose on Dean's hips he pulled him in and sealed their lips together. "I only have three more days, Dean…" Cas whispered against his lips. "And I will spend as much of that time with you as I can."

"You might want to bring some of your clothes here." Dean whispered back softly and returned Castiel's kiss.

Cas couldn't fight the grin that broke out across his face. "Come on," he tugged on Dean's hand gently, pulling him towards the bed. "Let me get you some Tylenol at least, it will make me feel better." He sighed as Dean winced again as he sat down, the movement putting a strain on his bruised body.

"Okay, I'll take it. To be able to sleep." Dean lay down on his bed slowly, watching Castiel expectantly.

Cas nodded and left the room to go down to the kitchen for a glass of water. He poured a tall glass, added some ice cubes from the freezer and then reached on top of the fridge where Dean had all of the medications laid out, safely out of Dot’s reach. He popped open the Tylenol bottle and took out two of the pills to carry up to Dean.  
"Alright, take these." he said as he returned to the room, sinking down onto the mattress on the other side and handing Dean the items he’d gathered. He quickly peeled off his jeans and socks.

Dean took the pills and popped them into his mouth, downing them with the water. "So, ..." He looked over to Castiel. "Three days..." he sighed softly.

"I do have to get back to work, Dean. I have a fairly important job there. People count on me to return," Cas sunk down into the pillows beside Dean, pulling the covers up over them. "And figure out what the hell I am going to do with my apartment.." He sighed, closing his eyes, with a sad sigh. After a few moments he wondered out loud, "You think there’s some way I could just pretend the rest of my life doesn't exist and just stay here?"

"No! Hell no, Cas. I totally get that you have to go back. I'm not stupid..." Dean sighed heavily. "Do you think we can manage it? A long distance thing... Do you think we can do it?"

"I want to try," Cas answered honestly, rolling onto his side to face Dean. "I think it's worth it to try... And it might... be better that way for a while ..." He gave Dean a small smile and ran his hand softly over Dean's stomach and up his chest. "I think we need to take things slow, take our time... and I don't know if I can do that, here with you constantly." He smiled and leaned forward, to kiss Dean's lips.

Dean kissed him back gently and ran his hand through his hair.

"Dean," Cas whispered, his eyes fluttering closed as Dean's fingernails scratched at his scalp. "You know what that does to me that much hasn't changed."

Dean smiled against Castiel's lips. "Hasn't changed? That's very good to know, actually."

Cas laughed and found Dean's lips again, his hand running along Dean's side, careful of his bruised ribs as he pulled him in closer.

Dean moaned softly into the kiss, tangling his fingers further into Castiel's hair. Slowly he ran his tongue over the other man's lips. Castiel gasped, opening up and letting Dean in. They took their time, kissing slowly, relearning each other as they went.

Finally, Cas pulled back, cupping Dean's face, his breath coming hard. "We should stop," he whispered, knowing the disappointment he saw on Dean's face was mirrored on his own. "I don't want to hurt you or push things too quickly."

"Cas..." Dean breathed. He opened his mouth to speak again, but he couldn't find the words. Nothing seemed right. Of course Castiel was right to worry about hurting him, just because he'd taken the pills didn't mean he'd now be unbreakable. But they only had only three days left ... Dean closed his mouth again with a sigh and his eyes were downcast..

"Hey, you're thinking too loudly…how will we get any sleep?" Cas whispered teasingly, then finding Dean's lips again to kiss him softly, he added seriously, "We’ll figure it out, okay? Together...this time. Don’t worry."

Cas bit his lower lip, holding back what he really wanted to say, and settled his head against Dean's chest instead. He exhaled slowly, wanting to tell Dean exactly how he felt. He held onto Dean, held onto him as if the other man had already started to slip away, and let himself drift to sleep with Dean's hands still playing with his hair.

_I love you._


	15. Chapter 15

_"Hey Cas, I'm just going to order a pizza tonight... I'm heading to get Dot from school now."_

_"Okay," Cas smiled, even though he knew Dean couldn't see it through the phone. "I'm finishing up with my Dad and then I will meet you at the house."_

_"Sounds good! Oh by the way, Dot has tomorrow off from school for a teacher's workshop or something... I got the day off from Bobby. You interested in going to the zoo or something with us?"_

_"Yeah, I would love to." They said their goodbyes and Cas hung up, the goofy smile still on his face._

"You sure you want to do this?" Dean threw an amused look at Cas as he pulled the car into the zoo parking lot. In the backseat, Dotty had entertained everyone on the drive over by belting out as many songs pertaining to animals as she could, her voice high pitched and increasingly more excited the closer they had gotten to the zoo.

"What? And miss out on this?" Cas raised his eyebrow and turned to look at Dot, joining in with her singing. "Animal crackers in my soup! Monkeys and rabbits loop de loop!!" He nudged Dean's leg, smiling happily.

Guiding the car smoothly into a nice shaded parking spot, Dean grinned at him and got out of the car to free Dot from her seat.

"Daddy are there going to be lions? And tigers? And monkeys? And horses? And even piggies?" Dean laughed, cutting her off as he lifted her onto his hip.

"I think there will be most of those things," Cas answered for Dean and started walking towards the entrance. "They should have a map that will tell us where everything is."

"Yes, they should. I know they have stroller rentals for carrying our picnic lunch and for the princess if her feet get tired." Dean reached into the car for Dot's backpack.

"Sounds like a plan," Cas smiled and Dot bounced in Dean's arms, her hands clasped before her in excitement.

Dean grabbed his own backpack as well. "We got everything?"

"Yeah," Cas nodded and then smiled at Dotty. "Are you ready?"

"Yes!!!" She gasped. Dean locked the car and started walking towards the entrance.

Cas hesitated for a moment before finding Dean's free hand and taking it in his own. "This okay?" He asked after a moment as they approached the gates.

Dean just grinned and squeezed his hand in response.

Cas bought the tickets, ignoring Dean's protest, and grabbed a map from the wall as they entered the zoo. Dean stopped for a stroller and then deposited his pack with their lunch and Dotty's backpack into it before finding Cas’s hand again. Dorothy was now on the ground and helping Cas to open the map and gaze over all of the animal locations.

"So, where're the lions, my dears?" Dean asked leaning over them, laying his left arm over Castiel's shoulder. Dot showed him the lions’ location on the map.

"Ah, and there are the monkeys right there. How about we go start with the monkeys and then head on to the lions? Then the tigers and then children’s petting zoo so we can look for those piggies Dot likes?" Dean suggested, pointing at each suggested station on the map.

Dorothy nodded and turned around to her dad. "Yes!!! Yes, Daddy!"

Dean ruffled her hair and lightly squeezed Castiel's shoulder. Castiel folded up the map and wanted to slip his hand in Dean's but Dot was faster. She beamed up between them and then reached for Cas’s hanging hand to hold onto them both, swinging them gently as they walked.

Dean had a huge smile plastered on his face. He loved that his daughter was so comfortable with Castiel. If what they were trying now worked out, Dot wouldn't feel uncomfortable having Cas in her life. Dean smiled down at his little one and then looked up to catch Castiel’s eyes. He smiled at him and tried to ignore the swelling hope that was blossoming in his chest. If this worked, if they could have this? Dean smiled again.

“Cas?” Dot asked, tugging on his arm. “Are you gonna’ sleep over again tonight when we get home?”

“Probably,” Cas nodded, eyes flicking to Dean’s for a second before settling back on the little girl “Is that okay with you?”

Dot nodded, biting on her lower lip. “Are you always going to sleep over? Are we going to have to get you a bedroom? Or are you going to sleep with my Daddy?” Her innocent childlike questions attracted the gaze of a few people around them and Cas felt himself blush and knew Dean was fighting back his own.

“Um, well… this is actually going to be my last night here, Dotty. I have to go back to New York tomorrow.” She stopped short, dropping both of their hands.

“You’re leaving?” She asked, and Dean could tell she was suddenly on the verge of tears. “You’re not going to be here for my party?”

Dean looked at Castiel expectantly. "Sammy's gonna’ be there. It's on the twenty seventh," he told him.

Castiel knelt down, reaching for Dot’s shoulders to pull her closer, giving her a warm smile. “I have to go back home, Dotty.” he said softly and reached up to push a blonde curl behind her ear. “But that doesn’t mean you’re never going to see me again. We’re friends, right?” She nodded slowly, eyes still wet and glassy as she watched Cas’s face intently. “I’ll try to make it to your party, but if I can’t get it off of work, maybe your Daddy can set up a special call with me on the phone where we can see each other? Does that sound okay?”

Dean knelt down as well and laid his arm around her back.

Dot nodded again. "Okay... but I hope you can come."

Dean smiled and kissed her cheek. "Maybe we can call him anyway during the next weeks, huh?"

"Yesss. Can we, Cas?" she asked, nodding her tiny head encouragingly.

“You can call me anytime.” Cas smiled and reached forward to ruffle her hair. “So no sad faces, okay? I don’t think the lions are going to want to put on a show for us if we’re sad. What do you think?” He looked up at Dean and Dorothy followed his gaze, her eyes wide.

“I’m pretty sure this zoo only runs on happy faces,” Dean nodded his agreement and then laughed as Dot plastered a huge grin on her face and tugged Castiel to his feet.

“Well then… let’s go!” Cas laughed and followed after the happily prancing, little girl.

After the first lion and monkey-house visit they had made their way to the petting zoo. The two men greatly enjoyed Dot’s gleeful squeals and giggles when the little goat-kids and pot-bellied pigs snuffled and tickled her hands as they gobbled the treats she’d offered them.

They had ended up back at the lions three times before Dorothy fell fast asleep snuggled against Castiel’s chest. Halfway through their day, sometime after lunch, she had declared herself too hot and too tired to walk any further, and was happily passed between the two men or rode in the stroller like the tiny princess that she was as they made their way through the rest of the exhibits.

On the way home with Dorothy asleep in her carseat, Dean made a quick stop to pick up something for dinner while Cas waited in the car, watching over the sleeping child. The blue-eyed man leaned his head back against the seat and smiled. He could picture this being his life, eventually. Even though it had only been a little more than a week, Castiel found that he loved every little moment he spent with Dean’s sweet little girl, and the time they shared with her father. As Dean climbed back into the car with the food in tow, Cas gently caught his right hand and lifted it up to kiss the back of it.

“What was that for?” Dean asked, a smile on his lips, despite his apparent confusion.

“I’m just happy,” Cas shrugged, squeezing his hand and then releasing it to take the take out box from Dean and settle it on his lap. “Just happy.”

Castiel sighed, leaning back into the seat of the plane and letting his eyes fall closed. He was grateful that there didn’t seem to be any unruly children on the plane, or large noisy groups. It seemed the only sounds around him were those of soft murmurings and snores. He felt his stomach began churning at the very thought of going back to the apartment he and Balthazar had shared for the past four years. Earlier he had contemplated texting the other man, letting him know he would be stopping by, but just the thought had nearly brought on an anxiety attack so he chickened out.

He would simply show up he decided. After all, his name was on the lease as well. If Balt happened to be there? Well… he would have to deal with it. It wasn’t just going to go away, no matter how badly he wanted it to. If Balt was away at work? _Perfect._

Castiel opened his eyes, turning his head to look out the window, but only fluffy white clouds appeared past the oval of plexiglass, blocking any view of the ground far below. For a brief moment he wondered if clouds might be the only view angels ever enjoyed. If so, their lives must be pretty boring he mused. With a sigh he reached for the shade and pulled it down, making the area surrounding him just a little bit darker.

Just three hours ago he had been comfortably cocooned in the blankets on Dean’s bed. By the cool feel of the pillow beside him, he knew Dean had gotten up early to get Dot ready for school. Cas was just preparing to get himself out of bed when the bedroom door suddenly flew open as a tiny blond tornado blew into the room. With a pained cry the little girl launched herself onto the bed, tears streaming down her face as she wrapped her little arms tightly around his neck. With her green eyes swimming with tears, she clung to his neck as if her life depended on it and through broken sobs begged him not to leave.

_“It’s not like you’re never going to see me again, Dotty. I promise I’ll be back.” She sobbed inconsolably for a few minutes while he, and then Dean, murmured soft assurances to the child. Finally, as her Daddy rubbed soothing circles across her small back, she nodded shakily, then planted a large, wet kiss on each of her friend’s cheeks before finally letting Dean pull her away._

_“I’ll be back, I left coffee on for you,” Dean leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss before following his daughter out the door._

Dean had come back and found Castiel still snoozing, wrapped up in the comforter that smelled of Dean. The other man had slid in behind him, and rolled him over gently to kiss him awake. They had explored each other’s mouths, kissing and licking and nipping until both of them were ready to burst. Castiel could tell, just from the lust-blown eyes that had stared down at him and the way Dean was repeatedly licking his lower lip, what he had been going to say.

_“I can’t, Dean… You know I have to go home.”_

_“I know… I do…. I just… I feel like I’m losing you.” Dean whispered, pain reflected in his eyes._

_Cas kissed him softly, fingers trailing back through his hair and causing small moans to escape from Dean’s throat._

_“You’re not, Dean. But life doesn’t stop, just because we found each other again. I have a job, a house, a life back in New York and it’s waiting for me whether I want it to or not. Deep down,” Cas added, running his thumb over Dean’s cheek, “I think you know that if I did stay? Just moved in and shoved myself into you and Dorothy’s lives? This would fail. We would fail again. This is reality, Dean. We have to do this right this time. Learn about each other again, fall in love again.”_

_“I hate that you’re the rational one,” Dean whispered back. “And even worse…? I hate that I know you’re right.” And then his lips were once again fused to Cas’._

Cas smiled and lifted his fingertips to brush across his lower lip, still slightly swollen from their goodbye kiss. As hard as it had been to get on the plane? It was necessary. Castiel had to go home, get his affairs in order, and focus on falling back into a relationship with his husband.

Never, in a million years, did Cas ever think he would be thinking about dating and loving Dean Winchester again. It made his heart do a little flutter.

Standing outside his apartment Castiel steeled himself, taking in a few deep breaths before he lifted his keys out of his pocket. He hadn’t passed Balthazar’s car in the parking garage, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. He wasn’t about to drive through all fifteen floors of the parking garage and look down every aisle to see if he could find the car. He was, however, crossing his fingers as he slipped the key into the door and let himself into the apartment.

It hit him then how strange this was. Everything was… the same. He exhaled and slowly placed his keys on the hook by the door and toed off his sneakers, pulling his wheeled-suitcase in behind him. He didn’t know what he had expected… The apartment still smelled like home, a mix of the vanilla scented candles Balthazar had distributed around the place and his and Balt’s own aftershaves and colognes. The furniture pieces were still in their usual places, the throw blanket slipping off the back of the couch because it never stayed where it was put. The same pictures hung on the walls, the same shoes discarded neatly by the door. His stomach twisted as he stepped further into the apartment and headed towards his bedroom.

Hinge creaking loudly in the stillness of the apartment, Cas hesitantly pushed open the bedroom door, and instantly froze at the sight before him. Balthazar had been asleep in their bed. Castiel’s pillows had been pushed carelessly to the floor.

Suddenly, much to Castiel’s dismay, the sound of the door opening had snapped the man awake. Sitting up awkwardly Balthazar stared blinking at the intruder, first in shock, and then as recognition hit a multitude of expressions had flitted across his face. Finally, he sighed wearily and collapsed back onto the pillows, before pulling the comforter up over his head.

“Just don’t be loud,” Balthazar’s muffled voice groaned from beneath the thick covers.

Castiel swallowed and glanced over towards the walk-in closet… all of his extra luggage had been pulled from the depths of the closet and stacked neatly outside both mocking him and beckoning him forward.

“I can come back…later” Cas said softly to no one in particular, but he saw the figure on the bed stiffen and knew his voice had been heard.

“Why?” Balt shoved the covers aside and sat up, his arms crossing over his bare chest. His hair was sticking up in all directions and he had pillow lines on his face -- something that usually would have Castiel’s heart skipping. Now, Balthazar’s eyes were cold, angry, and all Castiel felt was shame. “Why wait? You made your choice, Castiel. You didn’t _wait_ then when you decided to turn my life upside down. You didn’t _wait_ when you--” Balthazar stopped and shook his head, closing his eyes tightly.

“I’m sorry.” Cas wasn’t sure what else there was to say.

“I know you are. I know you’re sorry, you didn’t mean to hurt me, and we’re both going to be much happier. I know, okay, Cas? I know.” Balt tried to give him a reassuring smile but ended up looking constipated instead. His eyes were shining, tears threatening to fall, and Castiel wanted to run now more than ever.

“I didn’t… I can just…” He sighed, tearing his eyes away from Balthazar and let his gaze drop down to the floor, focusing on the small tear in his sock. A heavy suffocating silence fell over the room. Finally, Cas heard the bed creak and he looked up to see Balt retreating to the bathroom, the door slamming shut and echoing through the apartment.

 _This is going well…_ Cas moved over to his bags and slowly pulled them into the middle of the floor, opening them wide.

He started with the closest, pulling out all of his suits, his shirts and ties and laying them carefully in the largest bag. He debated about leaving the hangers, wondering briefly if Balthazar would be upset at the prospect of having to buy more when he got another -- he stopped, hands freezing on the hanger he was holding.

This was really happening. He looked down at the bag, his clothes looked small, foreign in the luggage. He looked towards the bathroom, the silence that greeted him felt almost cold and cruel. He pushed away from the closet and crossed the room, wanting to say something, anything to make this better.

Balthazar was right -- they both would be happy, eventually. He pressed his hand to the door and immediately felt like he was being doused with a bucket of ice water when he heard the quiet sobbing, Balthazar trying his best not to make any noise. Cas could picture him sitting on the side of the tub, a towel clenched in his fists and pressed against his mouth to stop the sound. They would be happy eventually, but right now? Cas felt tears spring to his own eyes, knowing he caused this, knowing he was the selfish one and the reason for Balthazar’s pain.

Quickly, he almost ran back to the closet, yanking things off of their hangers -- if the hanger came, so be it, it not then it could stay -- and shoved things into the bags. Next, he went to his dresser and emptied out each drawer… socks… underwear… undershirts… t-shirts… jeans and shorts all went haphazardly into the next bag.

He grabbed the few books he had left on the nightstand and then opened the drawer. He glanced down and his heart skipped again as he gazed over the things that were _theirs._ A few toys, a bottle of lubricant, pictures and a stack of anniversary and birthday cards that he had been given throughout their entire relationship. He hesitated, fingers trailing over the items before he sighed and emptied the drawer’s contents into his final bag. Even if he didn’t keep them, leaving them for Balthazar to take care of… seemed cruel.

The rest of the apartment was easy -- They had bought most of the furniture and furnishings together, all things to decorate the home that they shared, and since Castiel was the one walking out of this life, he didn’t deserve to take them. He grabbed a few things that Balthazar wouldn’t miss -- his extended edition Lord of the Rings collection, his own laptop and a medical terminology dictionary. Carefully he packed the few pictures of him with his dad that had hung on the living room wall. He decided to leave the kitchen and the rest of the living room alone and went back into the bedroom.

Everything was packed. Everything that he personally owned was stored in three large bags and sitting, waiting for him at the foot of the bed. He swallowed hard, zipping up the bags and sinking down on the end of the bed. Should he knock on the bathroom door? Let Balthazar know he was leaving?

Cas had been left by a lover once before …so very long ago…and Dean hadn’t… He closed his eyes tightly.

“I’ve separated the joint account,” Balthazar’s voice was hard, loud as it cut through the silence, and Castiel jumped, spinning around to face the now open bathroom door. “I just split it in half, transferred half into your private account. I’ll close the joint account tomorrow… So just… Don’t use the card. You have your credit card, I have mine.”

“Okay,” Castiel whispered, nodding quickly as he searched Balthazar’s face. His eyes were puffy and red, bloodshot. But they were as dry as his cheeks and cold as they stared at Castiel.

“Okay. I think that’s it, really. Unless you want anything else from the apartment?”

“No… No, it’s all yours… belongs here.” Cas’s voice trailed off. Balthazar nodded and tore his eyes away to stare down at the floor. “Balt…”

“I think that’s it then, Cas.” Balthazar cut him off and glanced back up at him. Castiel could see his eyes were again swimming, just like the guilt in his stomach. “So I think it’s probably good if you leave now.”

“Yeah…” Castiel nodded quickly and manhandled the three large bags into his arms. Balthazar didn’t offer to help, probably enjoyed a moment of seeing Castiel struggle, and Cas couldn’t blame him one bit. He bumped down the hallway and when he reached the front door he heard the bedroom door close. He paused only once to remove the keys for Balthazar's parents’ house and to this apartment from his keyring and slipped them over the hook with Balt’s keys so the other man would see them.

And that was that. Castiel let himself out of the apartment after pushing his wheeled-bag into the hallway. He was now without a home he realized as he awkwardly dragged the bags to his waiting car. He loaded them up and slipped behind the wheel, his breath catching in his throat when he finally settled.

He was homeless. He had destroyed a man he had claimed to love. He let the guilt wash over him and immediately pulled out his phone, punching in the number he now had learned by heart, and pressed the phone to his ear, hand shaking.

 _“Hey, baby,”_ Dean sounded happy, glad that Cas had called him, and Cas couldn’t stop the sob that broke from his lips. _“Cas? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”_

“Yes! No… I don’t…” he inhaled, the sound wet and painful as his fingers gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Just… I need you to tell me that this is right, Dean. I need you to tell me that this is going to work and that we’re going to be okay because… because I feel so bad right now. I feel so guilty and wrong and just… awful. I hurt him, Dean. I swore I would never, ever hurt someone that I loved like that. I… I know what that feels like and I didn’t… I couldn’t…”

 _“Cas… Cas, baby, calm down. Please,”_ Dean pleaded and Cas fell silent, tears still tracking down his cheeks. _“Cas, I’m sorry that you’re going through this, I really, really am. It was never my intention to hurt you, then or even now.”_

“I know, Dean,” Castiel wiped the backs of his hands over his eyes. “I just… he’s so sad, Dean. He’s hurt and he was crying, and I did that to him. I was the cause of it.”

 _“I know, we both were,”_ Dean replied softly and Cas exhaled, breath and body shaking with the force. _“I’m sorry that it happened this way, but I promise you that he will be okay. It sucks now, of course it does, but you fell in love with him for a reason, right?”_

“Yeah…” Castiel whispered.

_“Someone else will too. Someone else that can give him everything that you can’t anymore. He’s hurting now, and so are you, but you told me he had family around there, right? He will take comfort in them, in his friends, and he will move on.”_

“I just…I don’t know what to do…” Cas closed his eyes, and leaned back against the seat, gripping onto the phone as if he was gripping onto Dean.

 _“Well, first you need to start the car.”_ Dean’s voice was soft, no trace of laughter or resentment in his voice for the things that Castiel had done; things he deserved to be resented for. Cas nodded and listened, twisting the keys and starting up the car. _“Okay, good. Now -- didn’t Chuck get you a hotel room near your hospital, until you could figure things out?”_

“Yeah, he did… Special rate or something like that for staying so long…”

_“Okay, then you should go there, Cas. Get some of your things unpacked, and then, in my professional opinion, it would be best for you to crawl into bed and get some sleep. Just a small nap, and then look at your options with a clearer head. Okay?”_

“Your professional opinion?” Cas found himself chuckling, relaxing slightly, the comforting sound of Dean’s voice in his ear as he backed out of the parking space. “I just wish you were here with me…”

 _“I know baby, I do too.”_ Dean whispered back and they stayed on the phone like that, mostly in silence as Castiel drove to the hotel. Dean was there on the phone while he checked in, listened to him grunting as he dragged his bags into his room with the phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear, and he was there to tell Castiel to sleep well, that he loved him and would talk to him in a few hours.

“Love you too, Dean.” Castiel smiled and hung up the phone as he sunk down onto the bed. The room was dark, cool from the AC that had been already running, and despite the comfort he had felt at Dean’s voice-- he now felt alone and cold. Kind of perfect, actually… it was probably what he deserved.


	16. Chapter 16

Little Dorothy smiled up at Dean when he brought over her plate for dinner and sank down in the chair across from her. She picked up her fork happily, digging into the pile of mac and cheese and then paused.

“Daddy?” she looked up, biting down on her lower lip as her Dad lifted his eyes and met hers.

“Yes, Princess?” he asked, his gaze flitting quickly across the table in case he’d forgotten anything she might now be asking for.

“Well… Sunday is Mother’s Day and my teacher wants us to have a party tomorrow and I lost the paper she gave us last week but she said we can bring in all of our Mom’s and Grandma’s… but I told her I didn’t want my Grandma to come and that I wanted you to come instead. She said that if you wanted to you could come and be both my Mommy and my Daddy.”

“Well, I guess I kind of already am your mommy and your daddy, aren’t I?” Dean smiled at her softly. “It’d have been very short notice for Grandma anyway, but why don’t you want her to be there?” he asked tilting his head.

Dot shrugged and took a bite of her mac and cheese, chewing thoughtfully as she watched Dean through her long lashes. “I like Grandma but she smells kind of funny,” she admitted after a moment. “She smokes too much and then wears all that flowery perfume stuff and…” the little girl stopped and sighed. “Mrs. Mills said that a mommy was someone that loved you and cared for you, even when you were being naughty and always makes sure that you have food and clothes and sleep good at night by reading your stories or rubbing your tummy… and that’s what you do, Daddy… not Grandma.”

Dean swallowed the lump that sprang to his throat. Hearing his daughter say these things made it sound like he was giving her the world every single day, while he actually just felt like he was barely struggling through his life as single parent.

“I’d really love to come to that party, Princess, it’d be great. Thank you.” he smiled at her warmly.

Dot beamed back and him and started eating again. After a few bites of her mac and cheese, she started munching on a baby carrot and looked up again. “Hey, Daddy?”

Dean looked up, still chewing his own mouthful. “Yes?” he asked after swallowing it down.

“Do you think I’m ever going to have another mommy?” she asked quietly.

Dean looked at his daughter for a bit before he sighed deeply. “You have a mommy, she’s watching over you with the angels, little bear.”

“I know, Daddy…” her soft words trailed off for a moment as she pushed a carrot around on her plate. “Mattie from my class has two Daddies…” she let her eyes flick up to see her Dad’s reaction before pushing forward. “Do you think it’s bad to have two daddies?”

Dean furrowed his brow. He was used to his daughter being talkative over dinner, but her mother, or their situation, had never been a huge issue before. Of course it had come up now and then, but this time Dotty seemed far more serious and brooding about it.

“Two daddies?” he asked carefully.

“Yeah… like… two daddies are in love with each other and there’s not a mommy. Like…” she paused and cocked her head. “Like how Cas and that bad man were going to get married. They woulda’ been two daddies, right?”

Dean took a deep breath. “Yes … Cas and Balthazar would have been two daddies,” he agreed with her words.

Dot nodded and fell silent again. She ate the rest of her carrots, crunching on them and giggling to herself whenever she came across a good, loud crunch. When she moved back to finish her mac and cheese, she spoke again. “Daddy? I think you and Cas would be really good Daddies.” she nodded matter-of-factly as she dug back into her dinner.

Dean choked on his carrot and coughed a while before looking up at her. “You think so?”

“Yeah!” Dorothy agreed and reached both hands out for her cup of juice. “I told Mrs. Mills that I wouldn’t mind having two daddies just like Mattie and I already knew who I would want for my other Daddy. Cas read me really good stories at night and that makes a good Daddy, I think.”

“Did he read better stories than I do?” Dean wanted to know, somehow trying to steer the conversation away from Dorothy’s wishful thinking. He would love for Cas to be Dotty’s ‘other Daddy’, but they weren’t ready for her to entertain such thoughts yet. They had to take it slow and had promised each other they would. He knew raising Dot’s hopes now, and then to fail at this new take on his and Castiel’s relationship would be too big a blow for the girl to endure at such an impressionable age.

“No… about the same,” she smiled at him and took a sip of her juice. “I just don’t like you being sad anymore, Daddy. And Cas made you happy.”

“I … I …” Dean stuttered, overwhelmed by his daughter’s observation. “Yes, he did.” he admitted with a small, soft smile.

“He should be my second Daddy!” Dot smiled and scooped up the last of her mac and cheese. “Daddy? Can I watch some TV now? I ate everything on my plate!” She pushed the dish forward, their other conversation apparently over and forgotten already.

“Take your plate to the sink and wash your hands, first, okay? Half an hour of TV and then you’re getting ready for bed.” Dean told his daughter and drank some of his water. “Oh, and would you bring the telephone here, so I can tell Bobby I’m gonna be at your party tomorrow? What time is it anyway?”

“I think she said it would be at 10 o’clock. And we have to bring cookies!” Dorothy hopped down from her chair, carrying her plate and cup with her to the sink. She dropped them off and dragged the hot pink stool over so she could reach the faucets to wash her hands. “Do you think we can bake some tonight, Daddy?”

“You’ll have to choose then, little bear, TV or cookies, we can’t do both before your bedtime.” Dean finished his drink before, picking up his plate and glass and joining his daughter at the sink.

“Can… can we make cookies but have the radio on so we can have a dance party too?!”

"Of course, put it on, Sweetie." Dean grinned and opened the cupboard to gather the cookie ingredients. Dot ran to the living room where the large radio was and opened up the top. She pulled out the large CD case and flipped to the first page where both her and her Daddy's favorite CDs were. She pulled the first one out and set it in the player and pressed ‘play’.

"I did your CD, Daddy!" She called out as the music started playing.

"That's my Princess!" Dean grinned and set the oven to preheat.

His little angel beamed back at him and dragged her stool over to the side of the counter. "What's first Daddy?"

"What kind of cookies do you want?" Dean asked and handed Dorothy the package of flour.

"Chocolate chip, of course, Daddy!!" She gave her dad a disbelieving look. "What other kind is there?"

"There's pecan, and peanut butter…and cranberry, and there's triple choc..."

Dorothy wrinkled her nose at the first two, then stopped. "Triple chalk?"

"Yes, triple chocolate. A good friend of Cas’s and mine back in high school ate nothing but triple choc." Dean grinned.

"Then that's the one I want! Are they Cas' favorite too?"

"Well, he always loved to steal them from Gabriel. I think he loved them." Dean recalled.

"Who's Gabriel?" Dotty asked and accepted the small chocolate chunks Dean tipped into her hand from the open bag.

"The friend I just told you about," Dean explained and weighed the sugar.

"Oh," she nodded and munched on the chocolate, watching as Dean got all the ingredients together. "Can I stir, Daddy?"

"Yes, you can." Dean lifted her up and sat her on the counter, then handed her the bowl.

Dorothy smiled and picked up the large wooden spoon, careful not to stir too hard and make all of the sugar and butter fall onto the floor. Dean held on to the bowl tightly, tipping it so Dorothy could get the spoon and her hand into the bowl. "The butter... is hard!" She sighed, handing the spoon back to Dean. "It's too sticky!”

"Oh, I'm sorry. Shall I?" He asked and took the spoon from Dot. He stirred the mixture long enough for the butter to soften and begin to blend with the dry ingredients before he once again handed her the spoon. "Better now?"

Dotty tried it out and then smiled, "Much! Thank you, Papa Bear!"

"You're welcome." Dean smiled watching her. He couldn't help wondering what it would be like if Cas was here with them. What it would be like if they were a family. He sighed, thinking about Cas struggling to find his new way alone in New York. He wished he could be there to help him.

Dorothy hummed along with the music as she mixed the cookie dough some more before declaring she was ready for the next step. She looked up and saw that Dean was staring ahead and hadn't heard her. "Daddy?" She tugged on his sleeve. "Are you okay?"

Dean shook his head to clear his mind. "Yes, Princess, I'm okay. So, let's get them on the sheet?"

Dot nodded and drew her knees up to her chest, letting Dean get into the bottom of the oven for the cookie sheets. "Can I lick the spoon while you put them on the tray, Daddy?"

"Of course, but I get the bowl." Dean grinned at her and set the trays on the countertop. Grabbing a teaspoon from the silverware bin he started dropping dough portions onto the sheet.

Dorothy beamed and took the large spoon from the bowl, licking at it happily. She watched as Dean used two metal spoons to drop batter on the tray. "Can we eat some when they're done, Daddy? Just one? Please?"

"Yes, of course. We have to make sure your classmates get good cookies. But just one, and then you brush your teeth." Dean told her.

"Okay!" Dorothy reached out and wrapped her arms around Dean's neck, smearing cookie batter on his cheek. Her eyes widened and she burst into giggles. "Now you're a cookie monster, Daddy!"

Dean made a face and "Aaargh" ed and growled at her and nipped her nose tip.

The little one giggled and squirmed against his chest. "Daddy! Daddy! Okay, okay you're not a cookie monster! You're a nice, cookie man!"

Dean chuckled and kissed her nose. "And you're the cutest cookie Princess." He smeared some batter on her nose.

"I love you, Papa Bear!" Dot leaned forward to kiss his cheek, smearing the batter from her nose against his skin. "You're the best Daddy there is."

"You're the best daughter there is." He hugged her tight and then gently kissed her cheek. Grabbing a pot holder he carefully slid the two trays into the hot oven. "PJs while we wait?" he asked her.

"Okay!" she yelled gleefully throwing her arms around his neck

Dean picked her up and set her back down on the floor and she took off like a shot, running for the stairs and her room.

Dean grinned watching her run off and then used his finger to scoop the rest of the batter from the bowl.

After tucking Dotty into bed, reading to her and kissing her goodnight, Dean changed into his pajama pants and went back downstairs to clean up the kitchen. He shook his head at the mess that had been made but smiled as he set all the dishes into the sink. Hearing Dorothy laughing, so carefree and happy, was worth any mess in the world.

As his thoughts drifted back to Cas, he pushed them aside for a few moments. Moving into the living room, he plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, setting the volume on mute, before grabbing the telephone to call Bobby. He let the other man know about the Mother's Day party at the school.

 _"You should wear a dress,"_ Bobby cackled as they said their goodbyes and Dean rolled his eyes, wondering why he put up with the older man sometimes. Staring at the phone in his lap for another few moments he sighed and finally dialed Castiel’s number.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey. It's me… "

 _"Hey! I was going to call you... I just didn't know if you were putting Dotty to sleep or if you already went to bed or..."_ Castiel sighed. _"I'm glad you called.”_

"She's in bed. You… uh ... Left quite an impression on her with your bedtime stories..." Dean smiled. "How are you doing?" He then asked, concerned.

_"Okay… I guess..."_

"Want to tell me?"

Cas was quiet for a minute, but with another sigh he gave in. _"Just had a really, really shitty day at work. I had Hannah all over me the moment I walked through the door, she's my secretary, and wanted to know all about Balt's surprise and our vacation. I told her that we split up and she cried, she actually cried for me._

_"Then, Balt decided to call me at lunch and of course Hannah picked it up... I apparently had accidentally grabbed his favorite tie or something stupid and he just had to have it back. He went on and on about this stupid business meeting he had tonight and how he had to look good if he wants to get laid. I told him 'good for you' which was apparently the wrong thing to say..._

_"Balt was pissed and yelling and crying… and when I hung up Hannah got all nosy and wanted to know if we were fixing things and... I just… I fucking just left early and got to come home to a freaking empty hotel room. So I ordered take out and drank... or am drinking…"_ He paused and Dean could hear something sloshing near the phone. _"Half a bottle of schnapps? And it's not even a good flavor. It's peppermint. I'm in a hotel room drinking peppermint schnapps and my teeth are turning green…"_ Castiel laughed before the sound clipped short. _"Dean… Please tell me your day was better."_

"Oh God, Cas. Love, I'm so fucking sorry. I wish I was there to hold you. I just wanna hold you and let you know I'm here for you. Which ... it feels like lying ‘cause I'm so far away..." Dean sighed heavily, trying not to cry for Castiel, like his secretary had.

 _"I know, Dean."_ Cas said softly and then he sighed. _"I guess I didn't know what to expect. People being mad at me? I can handle that... But people feeling sad and wanting to fix it? I don't... I'm sorry for how it happened, but not that it did. I'm excited and terrified to see where this goes with us, but I'm not sorry. Does that make me a horrible person, Dean? Is it awful that I didn't care Balt was trying to rub it in my face he was looking for a hook up? I hate that he's hurt but..."_

"No... No, Cas. It doesn't. You're not a bad person, okay? You're perfect, you're all anyone can hope for. I understand Balthazar being upset about losing you, but he did it to himself. Do not forget that, okay? If ... Yes,.. Um... See, if he had been as perfect for you… as you are, he'd still have you. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm totally not… but we're not ... well, not together like you and he were." Dean shook his head. "I'm talking bullshit… well nonsense maybe… I’m not making any sense, sorry. Sheesh…you’d think I was the one drinking."

_"I miss you, Dean. You… and Dotty..."_

"She misses you too." Dean replied, wondering if he should tell Castiel about their dinner conversation.

 _"I'm just being dramatic..."_ Cas sighed after a moment. _"I mean, I did this to myself, right?"_

"Cas! We all had our part in this. It's not been you or me or him, it's been us. Say it."

_"I don't know... I'm the one that started all this..."_

"Cas! Don't make me use my ‘Daddy voice’!"

_"We all had a part in it but I started it… happy now?"_

"No. I started it. If you so desperately need a scape goat, then it's me… If I had signed those papers that first day nothing would have ever happened."

_"Do you wish you had?"_

"No! No! I ..." Dean sighed and swallowed hard. He had never asked what happened to the signed papers he'd given Castiel right before Balthazar had attacked him.

_"You need to tell me, Dean... If you... If you don't want me... I can still submit the papers or we can… I don't… fuck! I'm not sober enough for this..."_

"Castiel Shirley, you listen to me, you drunk baby. I love you, and I want you. I want this. I want to give us another chance. I only signed them because I do love you, because when I did, I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought you wanted me to… I thought Balthazar could make you happy... Now… I know that there is a better option."

 _"I love you, Dean,"_ Cas whispered. _"I'm sorry... I think I'm drunk..."_

"It's okay. Will you have to work tomorrow?"

_"Yeah, but I'll have the weekend off. God... Getting up at 6am is going to be hell..."_

"I should let you get some sleep. Sleep off your schnapps. Oh, just one thing - to cheer you up - I'll have to wear a dress tomorrow." Dean joked.

 _"Wait... You have to do what?"_ Cas stopped and Dean couldn't answer, he was laughing too hard. _"At least you'll look pretty in a dress I suppose..."_

Dean was still laughing. "Oh, damn straight, I will. Prettier than any of the other mommies," he promised the other man.

_"Okay, Mommy Dean... Are you sure you haven't been drinking too?"_

"I’m sure. I've been invited to the Mother's Day party at Dotty's school. Privilege of a single dad, huh?" Dean smiled. He decided not to mention Mattie's dads. In Castiel's current state it'd be way, way too much. “We even got to bake cookies for the party before bedtime tonight.”

 _"She's really lucky to have you, Dean..."_ Cas fell silent again for a moment. _"I think I'm going to pass out. Talk tomorrow?"_

"Yes, we'll talk tomorrow. Grab a glass of water and some Tylenol before you crash though. You sleep well, okay? And don't worry too much."

_"Okay. Love you, Dean."_

"Love you too, Cas." Dean smiled. They said their goodbyes and Dean settled back into the sofa cushions. Cas worried him, but there was nothing he could do except to try to comfort him with his voice. It had to suffice for now, until they were in each other’s arms again in person.

Dean smiled at his daughter as she came into the living room carrying the telephone.

“Daddy,” she asked handing it to him, “help me, please?” She hopped on the couch beside him and watched him.

“Okay, Sammy you said? Let’s see.” Dean clicked through the phone’s contact list to find his brother’s saved telephone number. “There we go.” He dialed and handed the phone back to his daughter. “Should I leave you two alone, is it private?” he grinned.

“You wanted to make us hot choc with marshmallows.” Dorothy smirked as she listened to the dialing sound, politely sending him off.

“Right. I’ll just take my time, little bear. Call me when you’re ready for your hot choc.” Dean kissed her forehead and left the living room.

 _“Hello?”_ Sam answered the phone, a smile already in his voice.

“Uncle Sammy! It’s me…Dotty.” she told him, her grin actually audible.

 _“Dotty! What a pleasant surprise,”_ Sam laughed. _“How’s my favorite niece today?”_

“I’m good. Daddy and I went to the playground, on our bicycles.”

 _“The large one by Uncle Bobby’s or the little one by the river? Your Daddy taught me how to ride my bike before we moved to Lawrence, and we used to spend hours riding along those paths by the big park. Did he tell you that?”_  
  
“No, he didn’t tell me he taught you. But he told me you were in the park a lot. He said he was there a lot with Cas.”

 _“Oh… yeah, he was… Cas was around a lot when we were younger…”_ Sam cleared his throat once. _“Did… did you enjoy meeting Cas, Dotty?”_

“At first, uh-huh. Then I didn’t… ‘cuz of his mean friend. Then the mean man went away and then I liked Cas being here a whole bunch. I hope he comes to my party. But he said he couldn’t promise.”

 _“He had to go home, right?”_ Sam asked slowly, as if testing the waters of his niece's feelings.

“Yup. I wanted him to stay, but he said he had to make sure that the sick people feel better.” Dot said sadly. “I think he can do that real well. ‘Cuz when he’s here he makes Daddy feel better.”

 _“Yeah, Cas was always really good at taking care of other people…”_ Sam trailed off, caught up in his memories. _“So, uh… Jess and I were thinking about coming up early and spending the week before your birthday with you and Daddy, what do you think about that?”_

“YES!” Dorothy squealed loudly. “YES! Jess can sleep in my room. I’ll go tidy up!”

Sam chuckled and listened as Dot planned out their week, including having Jessica teach Dean how to French-braid because “Daddy tries but… well… I told him that he should probably do pigtails or a plain old braid instead.”

_“Well, that will be the plan then. When we’re all done talking, I’ll run it by your Daddy, okay?”_

“Okay. Uncle Sammy? When will you marry Jess?”

 _“Oh… Well… Can you keep a secret?”_ Sam dropped his voice and whispered through the phone.

“Yes!” Dotty gasped dropping her voice to a whisper before looking around conspiratorially.

_“I want you and I to hang out one day, we can tell Jess and your Daddy that we need a Niece and Uncle bonding day… I need your help picking out a ring. Do you think you could help me do that?”_

Dot’s jaw dropped open and she just nodded. “Yes, I can help you.” she whispered eventually.

_“Perfect. Thank you so much, Dotty. That’s why you’re my favorite niece, I knew I could count on you.”_

“Do you have another niece?” Dot asked raising her eyebrow.

 _“Well… no… but if I did, she wouldn’t hold a candle to you.”_ Sam chuckled.

“Of course not, I’m amazing...” she chuckled. “ Daddy tells me that all the time.”

 _“You take after your father!”_ Sam laughed loudly. _“So… was there anything you wanted to talk to me about, or did you just miss your cool Uncle Sammy?”_

“Just talking to my Uncle Sammy. Did you know that Daddy is married?”

 _“Um… What do you mean?”_ Sam asked carefully, halfway wondering if he should ask for Dean first.

“That bad man said Daddy was married to Cas. But I don’t think they are, ‘cuz Cas doesn’t live here.”

_“Oh… did you ask Daddy about it?”_

“No.” Dorothy’s voice was low as she thought about it. Sam was silent, weighing his options. He could push, see what the little one’s thoughts were, but then he might risk saying something Dean didn’t want him to… He sighed softly.

_“Well… Daddy and Cas used to be in a… um… a relationship when we were kids. They lived together for a little while too but sometimes when you get older, things change. Daddy and Cas ended up… going their separate ways.”_

“I wish Cas lived with us. I want him to be my other daddy.” Dot sighed softly.

 _“Um.”_ Sam choked, nearly dropping the phone. _“Um… what?!”_

“Mattie has two daddies, and I think it would be cool if I had two daddies too. And Cas could be my other Daddy. I like him. And he reads good stories when he tucks me into bed. And he makes Daddy happy too.”

 _“Oh, Dotty…”_ Sam sighed and shifted the phone to his other ear. _“There is nothing wrong with having two daddies or two mommies or both a mommy and daddy… but two people have to really like each other, have to be in love for that to happen. Daddy and Cas are… friends right now. And that’s a very different kind of relationship. Does that make sense?”_

Dorothy shook her head. “Julie has a mommy and a daddy, but they don’t like each other. They say bad things to each other. Why can they be a mommy and a daddy? Daddy likes Cas, so he can be my daddy.”

 _“Oh, well… I am sorry that Julie’s parents fight a lot… I’m sure that they still love each other though… sometimes adults have really, really bad ways of showing it to each other… And Daddy… He...”_ Sam stopped and laughed. _“Dotty, princess… I don’t have a good answer for you. All I know is that Daddy and Cas are friends right now. Don’t you like seeing Daddy have a friend?”_

“Grown-ups are weird. I don’t wanna’ be a grown-up.” Dot decided.

 

_“Well, now, I completely agree! I think you should stay young and cute forever. Why don’t you let me talk to Daddy for a minute?”_

“Okay!” Dot hopped off the couch and ran to the kitchen. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Uncle Sammy wants to talk to you!”

“Oh, really?” Dean grinned and took the phone from his daughter. “Go get your dvd started, I’ll come to join you soon.” Dean waited until she was out of the room before he spoke. “Hey Bitch, what’s up?”

 _“Jesus Christ Dean.”_ Sam exhaled, too worked up over the conversation with his niece to reply to the ‘bitch’ comment. _“Your daughter is three seconds away from planning your freaking wedding with Cas! What the hell happened this past week!?”_

“She’s what? I thought she’s planning yours… Sammy, hold on... Nothing happened. What do you mean, ‘what happened’?” Dean prodded.

_"Dude, she wants Cas to be her second Daddy. She said that Cas made you happy and she didn't know why you weren't living together. She also asked if you were married... I tried to deflect that one."_

Dean took a deep breath. "Yeah ... Balthazar mentioned that we are... I don't know how to explain that one to her... But I don't really see how it's such a bad thing she wants him as her second daddy. I mean, if it really does work out with me and Cas, I think I'm pretty lucky my daughter already accepts this man in both our lives, you know?"

_"So I take it you didn't file the papers? I know you said you wanted to try again... But Dean, you're not married, no matter what that paper says."_

"No, Cas didn't file the papers. He's still got them though, I think. So, maybe we're not married in the way we should have been. But that's not our concern at the moment, you know? That's not what's important. What's important is that Cas and I have to work on being a couple again."

_"Right... But I don't think you should have Dotty involved in it as much... I mean, Dean, she's your daughter and you know what's best… but she's already wrapped around Castiel's little finger and if this relationship bombs? Dean, she's going to be crushed."_

"And how should I have kept her out of this? Dump her at Bobby's the whole time Cas was here? She's my daughter, she's part of my life and that means, she's around. I needed to see if she liked Cas … and if he liked her, too. God, I know, she's got it bad for Cas. I know she'd be crushed if it doesn't work, but seriously, how could I have not involved her?"

 _"I don't know Dean,"_ Sam whispered, sighing softly. _"I just... Part of me is so happy for you, you know? I know first-hand how fucked up you were when you came to me at Bobby's and fell apart, okay? I watched over you for months while you self-destructed because you’d left Cas. I want you to be happy, and if that means trying things with Cas again? Dean, you know I will always have your back._

_"But as an Uncle who loves that little girl more than anything... I'm terrified for her. She's strong but she has already lost so much when --- her mom died. She may not remember her mother, but Dotty knows what not having her feels like. To have to feel that again, along with the pain of losing another person..."_

"I know. I know, Sammy! I wish there was some way to make the whole thing easier for her. But I'm at a loss here. I'm happy that she likes him, but I'm freaking scared of hurting her." Dean slumped back in his chair and sighed. "I'm a terrible dad. Say it, Sammy, I know you're thinking it."

 _"No way, Dean. You would do anything for that little girl, we all know it. You're nothing short of the perfect Dad. I'm allowed to be worried about you and Dotty without you putting yourself down. Stop being a jerk."_ Sam smiled gently. _"I trust you, big bro."_

"Thank you, Sammy, for worrying about us. Love you, Bro."

_"Just... call me more often, okay? I told Dotty about coming down next week, she seemed happy about it. I'll send you the flight details, okay?"_

"Of course she's happy about it! Her favorite uncle is coming to spoil her rotten. Did you want a hotel or will you stay with us?"

_"Whatever is easier for you...? I don't want to mess up your routine or anything."_

"You should hear yourself..." Dean huffed a laugh. "It'll be my pleasure to have you stay with us. And since when do I have a routine in which there's no room for my brother?"

 _"Alright, alright. Let's not get sappy now."_ Sam laughed and Dean could hear a muffled voice in the background. _"Jess says I have to stop giving you a hard time. Why is she always on your side?"_

"Because she regrets not having gotten the sexier brother."

 _"Ahh, yes, well... Doesn't seem like she would be your type, now does she?"_ Sam laughed and then hung up before Dean could reply.

"Dammit!" Dean cursed listening to the beeping of the disconnected line. He got up shaking his head and finished the ‘hot choc’ milks for Dotty and himself, then joined her in the living room.


	17. Chapter 17

Cas sighed dejectedly before dropping his throbbing head down to rest on his crossed arms. He had thought yesterday was the day from Hell, so how could anything possibly get worse today? He groaned aloud as his phone rang and looked up to see Hannah's extension number flashing across the screen.

"Yes, Hannah?" He pressed the receiver to his ear without lifting his head.

"Castiel! I went out to the bookstore last night and I got a few books that I thought might help you and maybe if Mr. Low read them too then--"

"Hannah!" Cas sat up straight and slammed his free hand down on his desk. "I do not want to talk about my personal life any more with you…or with anyone else! What’s done is done… it's over. I've moved on …and I think you should too!"

"Yes, Mr. Shirley." Cas cringed at her use of his surname and then again as the dial tone came through the line, telling him Hannah had abruptly disconnected the call. She should have slammed the phone down...

Yesterday he had cried over a rerun of ‘House’ that had reminded him of one of the last ‘date night’ couch sessions he'd had with Balthazar… had gotten a speeding ticket because he'd gotten fed-up with the bumper-to-bumper traffic jam along the main road between the hotel and the hospital and then when he’d finally found a short-cut around it had been caught driving a bit too fast … and all that was after he had gotten the less than perfect Press Ganey scores… 

Now, he had three people to fire before lunch because of inappropriate conduct in the presence of a patient and one harassment complaint and he had already started screaming at employees. He was going to have to buy Hannah the biggest fucking fruit basket he could possibly find and even then...

Cas sighed and dropped back down into his desk chair. Fifteen minutes, he just needed fifteen minutes and then he would be okay.

He peeked over his elbow and stared at the phone. Dean would probably be at work... But he kind of owned the place so...

Before he could give himself the time to overthink it, he dialed Dean's number and felt his heart racing, eager to hear Dean's voice.

"Hello?" Dean's voice sounded a little stressed as he picked up the phone after almost a minute of ringing.

"Hey, it's me…" Cas couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his lips at the sound of Dean's voice. "I know you're working... I just... needed to hear your voice."

"Cas… hey Love. Um, really bad timing. I'm on the way to pick up Dot from the school nurse’s office." A light conflict could be heard in his voice, torn between the needs of his daughter and his lover.

"Oh... is she okay?" Cas sat up, instantly concerned.

"I don't know, they said she was sick, feeling nauseous," Dean replied.

"Oh.. well... Just take care of her. I have a meeting to go to anyways. But... call me later?" Cas shoved down his disappointment. “Please?”

"I'm sorry, Buddy. Yeah, I'll call you later. Take care. Miss you."

"Miss you too..." Cas sighed as he hung up. He had barely gotten to talk to Dean lately since Sam had arrived -- even though he told Dean he understood, the brothers barely got to see each other now that Sam was in his last year at Stanford, Cas had really hoped he would get more than a few minutes with his husband on the phone today.

He bit his lip, feeling guilty when he realized he was slightly jealous. Dotty came first, Cas knew that. And once Dean got her home from school and taken care of, then they could talk. Cas straightened his tie and moved to the door of his office racking his brain for an appropriate apology after the way he had snapped at Hannah. This evening could not come quickly enough.

Castiel sighed and sat down on the edge of the hotel bed. His leg was bouncing nervously, shaking his entire body, but he couldn’t stop it. It had been well over twenty four hours since he had last spoken to Dean. Cas understood, really he did; he knew that Dotty was sick and after Dean had picked her up from school, she was probably craving her father’s attention. But after she went to bed? This morning?

Cas flipped his phone over in his hands and bit on his lower lip. He felt sick to his stomach, nerves swirling around and he wanted to laugh. In the few weeks he and Dean had actually been talking again, how the hell did the other man manage to get under his skin so quickly? Of course, Castiel never really fell out of love with Dean… but there was this ache in his chest that gripped him every morning when he woke up until he went to sleep at night.

He missed Dean. And part of him needed the other man. Castiel had been alone for almost five years after he had come home to their apartment to find Dean’s belongings gone… he would never have considered himself a needy person. He didn’t _need_ a man in his life to get by. Why did it suddenly matter so much that Dean hadn’t called yet?

Castiel glanced at the clock. He had been sitting in the same position for over an hour now. He should just call Dean. He probably forgot that he promised to call Cas back, even though Cas had made it clear he had been having a pretty shitty day and needed Dean. It wasn’t like Dotty was the only one who needed Dean’s attention…

A stab of guilt was added into the mix of nerves. Was he actually jealous over a five year old? He was being ridiculous… But at the same time…

What if Dean hadn’t forgotten and just decided not to call Cas because he didn’t want to? Cas closed his eyes and shivered. It wasn’t as if Dean hadn’t left him high and dry before…

_“Honey! I’m home!” Cas kicked open the door with his foot, leaving the keys hanging from the lock. He laughed at himself, excitement bubbling up in his chest. After three months, he still couldn’t believe that he and Dean were married. He placed the grocery bags he was carrying on the small hall table and retrieved the keys before shutting the door behind him._

_“Dean?” He called out again, surprised when Dean didn’t come around the corner to take some of the bags. Maybe he was in the shower… or maybe Sam had come by and Dean was out… Cas lifted up the bags again and went to the kitchen, smiling when he saw the spiral notebook on the counter._

_“Alright, Dean… where are you…” he said softly as he put the bags on the counter and grabbed the notebook. As his eyes scanned the first line, his heart stopped._

_**Cas,  
I am so sorry. I hope you know that I never intended to hurt you, in any way, shape or form. And that I’ve loved you since I first slammed into you on that skateboard. And it’s because of that love, that this can’t continue.** _

_**You deserve so much better than this Cas, so much better than me. You have so many dreams and wishes outside of Lawrence and who am I to hold you back from them? I roped you into making a huge mistake and now I’m letting you out of it. It was fun, Cas, perfect while it lasted. But it’s time for us both to grow up and move on with our lives. You have so much potential and can do so much more than I could ever hope to help you achieve.** _

_**Although he has a shitty way of saying it, my Dad isn’t wrong… Although I will never regret loving you, I regret forcing you into this marriage and making you feel like you have to stay. I found your acceptance letter to NYU… and I mailed them the registration fees check. It was the least I could do.** _

_**Please don’t try to fix this, there’s nothing left to fix. We’re both going to be happier this way.  
Dean** _

_The ink at the bottom of the page started to run, and Castiel realized there were tears streaming down his cheeks. No way, there’s no fucking way Dean did this on his own… Cas dropped the notebook back down and pulled out his phone, immediately pressing the ‘2’ for Dean’s number._

_“I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service.”_

_Castiel hung up and opened the keypad, typing in Dean’s number instead._

_“I’m sorry, the number you have dialed--”_

_He hung up, dialed again._

_“I’m sorry, the--”_

_“Fuck!” He threw his phone down and watched it slide along the table, almost falling off the edge. The tears were blinding now and he spun away from the kitchen and into the small bedroom. The room looked the same, nothing had been moved. Slowly, he reached for the dresser drawer containing Dean’s socks and underwear. When he pulled it open, it was empty. Cas yanked the rest of the drawers out and checked each and every one, all of them empty._

_Dean’s toothbrush was gone from the bathroom, his comic book stack missing from under the bed. The picture of Cas and Sam was still on the night stand but the one of him and Dean and Dean with Sam were gone. A closer inspection of the living room showed him that half the movies were gone, along with the Nintendo game console and controllers. Cas heard himself sobbing, the sound sharp and raw in his ears, but he couldn’t stop. He slipped to his knees and held onto his stomach._

_This was just a dream. A horrible, nightmare. His head was pounding, his face and nose and shirt were soaked, and any second now, he would wake up and still be wrapped up in Dean’s arms. He didn’t know how long he sat there in the middle of the floor. By the time he moved, the groceries he’d left out were warm, the apartment was pitch black except for where street lights were shining in through the windows, and Castiel ached all over._

_He hesitated at the front door before locking it. Dean wasn’t coming back._

 

Cas exhaled slowly and pressed the speed dial on his phone, trying to ignore the way his hands were shaking. His eyes were closed tightly and he hadn’t realized he was holding his breath until Dean answered the phone. He had half expected to hear the monotone woman’s voice again, _“I’m sorry, the number you have reached…”_

 _“Hey, Cas!”_ Dean sounded happy, although tired.

“Uh, hey Dean…” Cas trailed off, surprised at the sudden anger in his stomach. “Did you forget something?”

 _"Huh? What?"_ Dean asked, surprised by the question.

"You said you were going to call me back, Dean... Like, yesterday." Cas sighed and fell back across the mattress, his feet still flat on the floor.

 _"Fuck!"_ The word left Dean's mouth slowly as realization set in. _"Cas, I'm sorry. Dotty ... We had to go see the pediatrician and she was a mess… still is. She hurts and barely got any sleep…”_

"And when she was asleep last night?" Cas didn't mean to sound so short, to let his anger out, but there it was, hanging in between them and Cas couldn't reel it back in. "I'm sure you didn't have five minutes of alone time to call me back after I told you I needed you, right?"

_"I slept in her bed with her, Castiel, she wouldn't sleep alone. I’m sorry…”_

"Well..." Cas snorted. "It's not like I should have expected anything different..."

_"Cas! My 5-year-old daughter is sick!"_

"I'm aware of that Dean!" Cas sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his stomach flipping over again. "You just don't fucking understand."

_"Yes, I do understand. You take it personally that I was worrying about my daughter instead of calling you. You're acting jealous of a five-year-old who needed her Dad."_

"Excuse me?!" Cas suddenly pushed himself back up into a seated position, the anger that ripped through him causing him to shake once more. "I am not jealous of your daughter!" He felt his voice rising but felt helpless to stop it. "Excuse me if I think that in a relationship there should be some part of you that gives a shit about the other person …and I told you I needed you. I waited an entire day and you didn't so much as text me! But then, again, I forgot how well you do that. How easy it is for you to just walk away when something doesn't fit perfectly into your goddamn life!"

 _"That... That's ... That's so fucking low!"_ Dean gasped.

"Doesn't make it any less true, now does it." Cas whispered, swallowing hard as he waited for Dean's response.

 _"I have no time for this."_ Dean's voice was low. _"I'll call you in the morning when you've calmed down."_

"Whatever, Dean," Cas scoffed. "For starting over in this relationship? It seems to be playing out exactly like it did before. Except this time, I'm not playing that game." Cas hung up the phone, cutting off any response Dean may have had, and immediately shut the phone completely off.

Regret immediately enveloped Cas and he tossed the phone on the nightstand and made his way to the mini-fridge. He had just the thing to help with that.

"I'll be right back babe," Sam crawled out of the bed, pressing his lips against Jess' forehead as he left the room and made his way downstairs to get himself a glass of water. He froze when he heard a sound in the living room and contemplated going back upstairs to grab something to use as a weapon.

When he heard it again he realized it was a heavy sigh and relaxed slightly. If it was a burglar... he sucked at his chosen profession. Rounding the corner of the stairs he stopped short again when he saw his older brother with his head in his hands, sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Dean?"

Dean lifted and turned his head acknowledging his brother's presence. He sighed again and this time let his head fall back onto the headrest.

"What's wrong?" Sam rounded the coffee table and sat down on the couch with Dean

"We fought. It's only been a few weeks and we already fought. I don't wanna lose him." Dean's voice was shaky.

Sam was silent for a moment, biting on his lower lip. "What happened?"

"Dotty ... Because I had to pick her up I couldn't talk to Cas when he called yesterday. I said I'd call him back because he sounded so upset, but with all the sick child drama I forgot I promised to call. He called today and is all pissed." Dean sat up straight. "Fuck, he knew I had a little kid to take care of and he gets all jealous because she comes first. I love him Sammy. And I wish I had been there for him when he needed me yesterday ...." Dean trailed off, his chest aching.

"I don't know man... Maybe he’s just over-reacting, you know? He had a crap day and no one to vent to and then it all blew up... Just... Call him tomorrow. You guys can apologize to each other and all that shit. Dotty comes first and he should know that."

"Yeah. Yeah I know. I will. I told him to calm down. I promised I'd call tomorrow." Dean gave his brother a small smile. "Hey, just in case, remind me, okay?"

"I've got your back," Sam clapped him on the shoulder and then stood up, stretching his long arms up over his head. "Come on, get up and get to bed before Dotty wakes up and you can't."

"Thanks man." Dean got up and gave his brother a brief one-armed hug. "Thanks for being here, Sammy."

"No problem." Sam smiled and watched his brother disappear up the stairs. When he heard the upstairs bedroom door shut he let out a sigh and ran his hand over his face. He was already terrified this was going to crash and burn before it ever really got off of the ground.

"Daddy?" Dean was putting Dot’s hair in pigtails while she sat on the edge of the sink. "Is Cas going to come today?"

Dean sighed deeply. "I don't think so, Love. I think he has a lot of work."

"Oh..." Dorothy looked down at the floor, a frown on her face. "Can... I call him later?"

"Yeah, you can. Maybe he'll call you. He knows it's your birthday." Dean hoped he wasn't lying to his daughter. It had been three days since their angry exchange and he hadn't talked to him since. Although Dean had called him the morning after their fight, Cas hadn't answered his phone. He had even tried calling the hospital office but was always told Cas was in a meeting. His text messages remained unanswered as well.

"Okay..." Dotty sighed dejectedly and was silent as Dean finished her hair.

Dean felt bad for his daughter. She had hoped so much Castiel would come. Maybe Sam was right.

"Go on downstairs so Daddy can get ready... People will be here soon." Dean lifted her off the stool and gave planted a noisy smooch on her forehead before she ran off towards the stairs.

"Hey..." Sam leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom. "You okay?"

Dean shook his head, there was no way he could lie to Sam, his brother knew him too well.

"Still hasn't called?" Sam gave him a look, a cross between pity and guilt, as if it were his fault for being right. "I'm sorry, Dean..."

"I feel horrible. I really hope he'll at least call for Dotty's sake. He knows she adores him. Maybe she was the reason we fought but it's still not her fault. It's not her fault she got a damned miserable ear infection, right?'

"Dean... It's not your fault either. Cas may have needed you or whatever but he's acting immature now. But... This is good..." Sam sighed and shrugged at the look Dean gave him. "It's true, I mean, this is what happens when you have a kid and if he can't handle that..."

"Yeah ... Yeah… you're right. I get that." Dean sighed resignedly and nodded lightly. You're right, he should have known what he getting himself into." Dean agreed. "Poor little Bear though..."

"I just... Wish it could have been different, for you, I really really do."

"I know you do." Dean smiled sadly at his brother.

The brothers fell into silence and Sam stepped forward to pull the older man into his arms for a hug. He opened his mouth to speak when a high-pitched screech came from downstairs.

"Well... Looks like some of the guests must have arrived early." Sam stepped back and clapped Dean on the back.

"I'd better get downstairs then, huh? Thanks for being here, Sammy."

"I've always got your back, jerk!" Sam laughed and moved to let Dean by.

"See you downstairs, Bitch." Dean smiled and went to the stairs. Halfway down he stopped dead… surprised, and speechless. He could feel his heart beating a million miles an hour in his chest but he couldn’t move. He just stayed where he was, watching Dot happily clinging to her guest.

"Daddy!!!! Look! Cas came!" Dorothy was giggling, her arms wrapped tightly around Castiel's neck, the rest of her body supported in his arms. "This is the bestest best birthday ever!"

Cas smiled at her and gave her a hug before looking sheepishly up at Dean. His ears and cheeks were tinged pink and he cleared his throat once before he opened his mouth.

"Um... Surprise?"


	18. Chapter 18

"Uh ... Hi." Dean was at a loss for words. He was happy… happy to see Cas… happy that his daughter was happy. But there was still so much more, clenching at his heart. He wanted to scream at Cas for worrying him… wanted to know _"What the Fuck?"_ … was longing for an explanation from Cas as well as wanting to apologize to Cas.

"Hey, Dotty? I just have to talk to your Daddy for a moment, okay...? Why don't you put on the table for your presents?" He set her back down on the floor and reached behind him where he had placed a gift bag.

Dorothy beamed as she took the brightly-colored bag. "Can I open it now?"

"You should probably wait until the cake," Cas replied and then looked up at Dean. "Uh... But that's totally your dad's choice not mine..."

"Wait just a bit, Little Bear, and then you can open it together with Cas." Dean told his daughter, realizing this was way too much excitement to wait until after the cake was served.

"Okay!!" Dot grabbed the bag and ran outside, yelling for Jessica in her excitement. Sam cleared his throat once as he came down the stairs behind Dean.

"I'll keep the birthday girl busy..." He gave Cas a small smile, "Good to see you, Cas."

"Yeah, you too, Sam," Cas replied and both he and Dean watched Sam leave until they knew they were alone. Finally, Cas sighed. "Look... I'm an asshole..."

"Yes. Sorry, you were…but yes." Dean agreed and made his way down the stairs completely. "But then, so was I. I shouldn't have ignored the needs of one person I love just because another person I love needed me. I should have managed to be there for both of you."

"Dean you did nothing wrong... And you _should_ be pissed at me. Dorothy comes first and just because I had a shitty day..." Cas sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And then I was embarrassed and didn't want to call you back and then a day turned into two and I just... I half expected you to tell me to leave the moment you saw me just now."

Dean stepped closer to Cas and reached for his hand. "I thought I'd lost you. Cas, don't be ashamed that you had a bad day and needed to talk with me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Dean took a deep breath and gulped. "But we can't let this happen again. You’re right that Dotty comes first with me. Shit! That ear infection was so bad and I just got so caught up… She’s so little and she counts on me a lot and if that's gonna be a problem, then we ... " Dean trailed off, too scared of saying it out loud.

"It won't Dean, I swear," Cas gripped his hand and closed his eyes. "I acted irrationally... I know I did. I missed you and I was upset about so many other things and... And somehow I shifted that all onto you and I know that wasn’t fair. There really isn't any excuse. But it won't happen again, I'm so sorry Dean..."

Dean shut Cas up with a deep, longing kiss. All that mattered to him now was that Cas wasn't still mad at him, that Cas was here, that they could spend time some together again. Cas was back, Cas was talking to him again.

"I'm so sorry," Cas whispered against Dean's lips before kissing him again. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, you stubborn idiot. Thank you so, so much for coming today. It means everything to both of us."

"I wouldn't have missed it. I promised Dotty I would come." Cas smiled and linked their fingers together. "Should we join her outside and save Sam?"

"Yes! Yes, let's join her." Dean threaded his fingers through Cas' before they walked out into the garden.

Sam glanced up when they made their way onto the patio, his eyes trailing from their joined hands to Dean's face. When he met his brother's eyes he raised an eyebrow but made no move to comment. After a moment he shook his head, a small smile on his lips, and turned his attention back to Dot who was fawning all over the table, already loaded with presents.

Dean led Cas over to his little one and ruffled her head affectionately. "Still want to open Cas' present?" Dean asked her, though he already knew the answer.

"Yes! Oh, Cas! Please! Can I open it? Please?!" Dot ran around the table and gripped Cas' left leg tightly, her face upturned and wide, green eyes pleading with him.

"You got your Uncle Sammy's puppy eyes down pat!" He laughed and then nodded. "Go right ahead, little one! Open your gift!" With a screech she released Cas and stretched out her arms for the bag. She ripped into the paper and then gasped.

"Daddy! Look!" She pulled out a sparkly pink helmet with Little Bear written in rhinestones on the back. The sides had hot pink flames that matched the color of her Impala.

"If you’re going to drive, you have to do it in style!" Cas said as he picked up the remains of the bag she had dropped and fished out a pair of bright pink sunglasses.

"Why is everyone encouraging her pink obsession?" Dean chuckled. Dotty looked at Cas with her whole face glowing with happiness and excitement. Cas grinned at her and perched the sunglasses on her little nose.

"Princess, you look super dashing." Dean's grin matched his daughter's

"Thank you, Cas!" Dotty beamed and threw her arms around his neck. Cas smiled and hugged her back.

"You're welcome, Dot!"

From inside the house they could hear the doorbell and Sam pushed up from his seat.

"Looks like the party has started!"

"Call me if you need me inside." Dean called to his retreating brother. "You've made my Princess extremely happy, Cas." he smiled at the other man.

"She deserves it," Cas smiled back and then turned his attention back to Dotty. "Do you have a lot of friends coming today?"

"Mattie and Claire and Becky and Ella and Benny..." Dorothy counted off on her fingers.

"Wow! That's a lot of people!" Cas' eyes widened and he looked towards the castle-shaped cake on the table. "I still don't think your dad got a big enough cake for everyone though. I mean, you and I could eat that whole thing!" Dot giggled and nodded enthusiastically. Behind them, Dean rolled his eyes and muttered something about starting the grill.

Sam returned a few minutes later with three little girls trailing along behind him brightly-wrapped presents in their arms. The moment Dot saw them she screeched and ran towards them to start talking excitedly about what her Daddy had gotten for the party. Cas smiled at them and then looked up at the rest of the backyard.

Dean was now standing at the large propane grill with a lighter, firing it up. A large portion of the backyard was taken up by a large, obnoxiously bright pink, pounce-and-bounce Princess Castle and Cas smirked at it before catching Dean’s eyes from across the patio.

“You’re so going in there,” he mouthed.

Dean smirked at Cas and pointed at him then himself then the castle, telling the other man he’d only go if he went too.

Cas shrugged and stood up. “Hey, Dot? Do you and your friends want to check out the castle?” He was met with a chorus of screams and he looked up to wink at Dean’s horrified expression. “See you in there, Princess.” He winked as he walked by, following the running kids.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean muttered. Now he’d have to get in there as well, stay true to his word. “Jess? Mind keeping an eye on the grill? I gotta join up the big baby in that castle.” he grinned at his brother’s girlfriend.

“Sure, just don’t break the thing,” she smirked back.

Sam came over to the grill just in time to see Dean kicking off his boots and climbing up into the house after Cas. He shook his head, watching as his brother and Cas started jumping around, bouncing the four kids, everyone in the pop up laughing and yelling.

“I’ve never seen him like this,” Jess broke Sam out of his thoughts and he turned to look at Jess.

“What?” he shook his head, eyes following hers back to his brother.

“Dean, I’ve never seen him so… happy and carefree before.” She said with a smile before putting the grill cover down to let it heat up.

“Yeah, well… He’s always been like that around Cas,” Sam said softly, and shifted his gaze from Dean to Cas who was swinging Dorothy up in his arms so she was the tallest in the bounce house.

“He’s good for him.” Jess stated and then turned away from the grill to head into the house for the burgers and hot dogs. Sam stood there for another minute before nodding.

“Yeah,” he whispered to himself. “He really is.”

“I’m gonna call it a night, boys,” Bobby said setting down his empty beer bottle. He looked at Dot nodding off in Dean’s lap. “You should put her to bed, Dean.”

The little princess lifted her head and mumbled a sleepy protest, “No! I’m not tired!”

“You’re not?” Cas gave her a look and then pretended to stifle a large yawn himself. “Well… I sure am!”

Dot watched him, and then her mouth twitched as she tried to hide her own yawn. “Well… maybe just a little,” she admitted, finally letting the yawn free. “But only cause you’re tired too!”

Cas nodded in agreement.

“Come on, big girl, let’s get you upstairs.” Dean kissed her forehead.

“Daddy?” Dotty wrapped her little arms around his neck. “Is six years too old to be carried by you?”

“You’ll always be my ‘little bear’ and never be too old for me to carry you to bed, I promise.” Dean grinned and carefully stood up. “Goodnight kiss for Chuck and Bobby?”

“Yeah...” she nodded sleepily rubbing at her eyes.

“Night, Princess,” Bobby smiled and kissed her on the forehead when Dean carried her over. “Happy Birthday and sweet dreams, okay?” Dot nodded and kissed him on the cheek, running both her hands over his beard before she released him with a sleepy giggle.

“Night, Dorothy,” Chuck smiled and gave her a wink. “I had fun at your birthday party, I hope you did too!”

“Yes, I did! Especially Daddy and Cas bouncing with us in the princess castle. Daddy even got Cas to wear the princess crown!”

Chuck laughed and nodded, “Well, he always was one for great fashion.”

“Yes he was.” Dean agreed. “Do Sammy, Jess and Cas get kisses too?” Dean asked the sleepy girl in his arms.

“Okay...” she yawned as Dean smiled and carried her over to her uncle.

Dotty kissed Sammy and hugged onto his neck while he wished her a good night before moving on to Jess to do the same. When they moved in front of Cas she pulled herself out of Dean’s arms and into Cas’ to cling to him.

“Are you going to be here in the morning when I wake up?” She asked against his neck. Cas looked up at Dean for a moment.

“Um, well I wasn’t planning on going back to New York until Monday…” he trailed off.

“You know you’ve got a bed at home and I’ll leave the door unlocked if you need it…” Chuck said quietly, giving Cas a knowing look. Cas nodded his thanks and turned to Dean, shrugging his shoulders.

“Stay, please.” Dean mouthed locking eyes with Cas.

“I think I could probably be here when you get up… if your Daddy’s going to be making us breakfast…”

“Yes! Daddy loves to make us breakfast! Right, Daddy?” Dot turned in Cas’ arms, eyes pleading when she found her father’s.

“Yeah, sure … I thought we had Sammy over for that service, but if my girl wants it, she gets it.” Dean winked.

The little birthday girl hugged Cas one more time before letting herself be pulled away by Dean and taken upstairs to sleep. Cas watched them go and then said goodbye to his own father and Bobby respectively before sinking back down into the couch.

“I think that Jess and I are going to go out for a bit… have a few beers or something,” Sam broke the silence and looked to Jess for confirmation. “We’ll be back around midnight… maybe a bit later. Just let Dean know so he doesn’t deadbolt the door?”

“Yeah, of course,” Cas nodded and gave Sam a small appreciative smile. “Thanks, Sam.”

Dean came back downstairs about fifteen minutes later and found Cas all alone in the living room. He sat down next to him and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you so much. You saved the day... She’s wanted you here for this so badly, Cas,” Dean smiled. “You know what she just said before she passed out? She said, you were her best present all day.”

“Did she?” Cas turned to Dean, eyes wide. “Wow… I wouldn’t have missed it. I made her a promise, you know? But I still am glad you didn’t end up shutting the door in my face,” Cas laughed softly and found his way to Dean’s hand, twisting their fingers together. “Thank you, for forgiving me for being such an ass…”

“Thank you for coming around and stopping ‘being such an ass’.” Dean smiled softly. He shifted a little to sit on the couch facing Cas. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“I am too,” Cas whispered back and leaned forward, capturing Dean’s lips in a soft kiss. “It’s kind of pathetic how much I missed you since I’ve left…”

“Is it? Then maybe we’re both pretty pathetic.” Dean grinned and softly kissed Cas again.

Cas smiled against Dean’s lips, reaching forward to grab the front of his shirt and pull him in closer. “Um …Sam said to tell you that he’s going to be gone for a few hours,” Cas’ words were lost in the heat of Dean’s mouth, but Dean seemed to get the message anyways when he kissed him back harder.

Dean shifted a little closer and ran his hand up Cas’ side and onto his back. Cas responded, shifting his hips forward and leaning back to lay on the couch and pulling Dean with him.

Dean grinned into the kiss and deepened it. His hand, still eager to touch Cas, ran up his side again before finding its way into the soft mess of Cas’ hair.

Cas groaned softly into his partner’s mouth as Dean’s fingers tightened in his hair, tipping his head back further. He shifted his legs, Dean slotting his body between them as they were pressed together chest to chest. Cas trailed his fingers down Dean’s back until they came to the hem of his shirt only to slide them up beneath the fabric to caress his bare skin.

Dean moaned then and finally broke the kiss gasping for air. He looked at Cas with lust-blown eyes, and took hold of the hem of his own shirt to remove it, but looked at Cas for permission.

“Yes,” Cas breathed out, reaching to help Dean with his shirt. Dean pulled it up over his head and tossed it aside and Cas was immediately there, kissing Dean’s collarbone, his fingers digging into the corded muscles of Dean’s back.

Dean leaned back down to kiss Cas heatedly, grinding against him.

“God, Dean,” Cas gasped, tightening his grip on Dean’s hips. He found Dean’s mouth again, biting at Dean’s bottom lip before gently sucking into his mouth. Dean’s sensuous moan, sent shivers down Cas’ back.

“Cas!” Dean half-whispered the name. His tongue gently sought entrance to Cas’ mouth, his fingers fumbling with the hem of Cas’ shirt. Cas parted his lips, his tongue tangling with Dean’s before finally breaking their kiss so Dean could remove Cas’ shirt. As it fluttered down to join Dean’s on the floor, Cas found Dean’s mouth again.

Dean was grinding against Cas harder and running his hands over as much bare skin as he could reach.

Cas arched up into Dean’s touch, his own fingers dancing along the waistband of Dean’s jeans. He pressed under the fabric, just slightly, and felt Dean shiver above him.

Dean just breathed heavily, the sound of Cas’ name slightly audible.

“Can I?” Cas whispered against Dean’s throat as he kissed his way down the arch of Dean’s throat, his fingers freezing on the button of Dean’s jeans.

“Yes,” Dean breathed, “you can.” Cas flicked the button open with his thumb and groaned as Dean shifted forward, pressing against his hand.

“God, Dean,” Cas whispered, dragging the zipper down. He slid his hand beneath the fabric, fingers ghosting along the fine trail of hair and he bit down on the soft skin below Dean’s jaw as his fingers found what they were looking for.

Dean’s breathing stopped for a moment as Cas’ palm cupped him. He arched into the touch and immediately leaned back down and to started nibbling at Cas’ earlobe. Cas groaned as his free hand moved to the back of Dean’s head, fingers tangling in the short hair there and deepening their kiss.

He moved his hand slowly, coaxing small noises from Dean, each one sending a shock straight through him.

Dean’s hand tried to get a grip on Cas’ pants while his other hand was feeling for the button. Cas pushed back, giving Dean the room he needed to get his pants open, groaning as Dean’s fingers slid against his skin.

Dean popped open the button and pulled down the zipper and tugged down the pants. Cas followed suit, sliding Dean’s jeans all the way to his ankles so Dean could kick one leg free of them. When skin touched skin, Cas gasped, rocking his hips hard against Dean’s.

Dean shuddered, grinding and rocking against Cas, making him utter the sweetest sounds. Cas gripped Dean’s hips tightly, knowing he would probably leave finger shaped bruises against his skin. Dean impatiently shoved his hand between their stomachs roughly taking both of the engorged members in his hand, and all of Cas’ thoughts fell away.

“Dean!” Cas whimpered, rocking his hips forward, his head falling back. Using their precum to ease the way Dean slowly started stroking them both.

Cas’ hands frantically gripped Dean’s back, fingernails digging into his shoulders as he jerked his hips up to match Dean’s strokes. His lips caressed Dean’s skin kissing every inch he could reach-- Dean’s throat, his cheek, his jaw, his lips.

Everywhere Dean’s fingers touched he left a trail of fire, and Cas felt completely lost in everything that was Dean Winchester.

“Fuck, Dean,” Cas groaned, fingers gripping tighter. “I.. fuck… Keep doing that.”

“God, Cas… yeah,” Dean groaned hoarsely and sped up his strokes. “Cas! God, Cas… you feel …so good.”

“Ahhh… Fuck, Dean,” Cas found Dean’s lips, kissing him hard, his tongue forcing its way between Dean’s lips. His tongue pressed against Dean’s, both of them dueling for dominance.

Again Dean twisted his wrist around them in a delicious rhythm, causing Cas to gasp and jerk his hips forward. “Dean, so close…” he moaned against Dean’s lips.

Dean lapped along the inside of Cas’ mouth, his hand stroking faster now, twisting again as he rubbed over the weeping heads. He was gasping for air now, overwhelmed by every sensation he was feeling.

Cas broke their kiss, letting his head fall back against the armrest of the couch. He sighed Dean’s name, arching his hips up once before collapsing with a spent groan. Dean leaned forward, capturing his mouth as Cas spilled his release between them.

Dean bit on Cas’ lower lip as he found his own release. Dean loosened his grip, before pulling away and Cas kissed him softly.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing Dean again.

“I love you too, Cas,” Dean whispered back running the backs of his fingers gently across Cas’ cheek. Cas leaned into his touch and chuckled softly.

“Think we should probably shower and move this upstairs? As much as I would love to stay right here all night… I doubt Sam or Jess would appreciate it.”

“It’s my house, shouldn’t I be allowed to do as I please?” Dean chuckled. “Not like Sam never saw us like this.” he winked chuckling some more.

Cas burst out laughing, tucking his head against Dean’s shoulder. “Oh god, I will never forget the look on his face!”

“Yeah, it was so bloody great. I still wish we’d had a camera back then.” Dean snickered and slowly moved off Cas to slide back into his jeans. “Let’s go shower.”

“Lead the way,” Cas smiled, letting himself be pulled up off the couch so he could resituate his own pants. Dean intertwined their fingers and led the way up the stairs and into the master bedroom. “Do you think we should’ve gotten our shirts off the floor first?” Cas laughed as he freed himself completely from his jeans.

“Nah, why? I’ll pick them up in the morning, it’s gonna be fine.” Dean grinned and got out of his jeans too. He grabbed Cas’ hand again and led him to the bathroom.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, pressing up against his back while the other man adjusted the water temperature. Before stepping in, Dean turned his head, kissing Cas softly before pulling him underneath the warm spray.

They took their time, kissing lazily, hands exploring until the water was running cool. By the time they shut it off, they could hear Jess and Sam stirring in the room next door, getting ready for bed themselves. Cas handed Dean a towel from the rack, slipping into the room to find Dean’s pajama drawer and slipping on a pair of cotton bottoms before sliding beneath the covers.

“You look awesome,” Dean entered the room wrapped in a towel until he snagged a pair of clean boxers before slipping under the covers behind Cas and wrapping an arm around his waist. Cas snuggled back into Dean’s warmth as he twined their fingers together.

“You just like me in your pants,” he snorted and smiled when he felt Dean laughing behind him. “Night, Dean,” he whispered after a moment, letting his eyes fall closed.

“Night, Cas,” Dean whispered softly, his lips ghosting over Cas’ neck, before they both fell to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Light filtered in from the large bay window behind Dean’s bed, and Cas groaned softly, moving his head away from the direct line of fire. When he blinked his eyes open, still squinting against the sun, he saw that during the night they had shifted.

Dean was lying on his back, his face at complete peace as he slept. Cas smiled, leaning forward to kiss him gently. Dean let out a soft sigh, shifting slightly, but otherwise remained asleep. Smiling, Cas slowly untangled himself from Dean’s body and slipped off of the bed. He relieved himself quickly in the bathroom, grabbed a t-shirt from Dean’s drawer, and then slipped out of the room. Although Dot had made Dean promise to make them breakfast, he didn’t think either one of them would care if he got things started.

He made his way down the hallway, careful to be quiet so he wouldn’t wake Jess, Sam or Dotty, and made his way downstairs to start the coffee maker. When he heard a sound behind him, he turned with a smile at the ready, expecting to see Dean.

Instead, Sam was standing, leaning against the fridge with both of their shirts in his hand, an eyebrow raised.

“Oh…” Cas felt himself blush, immediately back to being seventeen years old and being caught by a thirteen-year-old Sammy.

“Yeah, oh,” Sam rolled his eyes and threw the shirts over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and crossed his arms. “So…” Sam cleared his throat and eyed Cas carefully.

“I kind of expected this to be coming…” Cas sighed and leaned against the counter. “Can we at least wait for coffee to be made first?”

“I’m not trying to be ‘that’ brother Cas,” Sam shook his head and pushed away from the fridge to collect two mugs before returning to get the creamer from the top shelf. He handed them over to Cas and they both spent a few moments staring at the coffee pot, willing it to go faster and hoping it would take forever. “You know I just want what’s best for him, and I want you to be happy too.”

“I know, Sam.” Cas gave him a small smile and poured them each a cup of coffee, handing Sam the sugar bowl. “I want him to be happy too.”

“Yeah, well… I think he can be really happy with you. But I also think you two have a pretty… extensive history together.” Sam shrugged and took a spoon from the drawer, loading his coffee with three heaping spoonfuls. Cas smirked as he watched Sam add creamer until the coffee was a light toffee color. Some things never changed. “Plus… Dean’s not the same as he was back then… a lot of things in his life have changed. Dotty being the biggest change.”

“I know, Sam… I assume that you know all about our fight this week?” Cas eyed him carefully and took his mug, holding open the back door for Sam to slip out so they could sit on the patio to talk without waking the others.

“Yeah… and I’m not going to lie, that worried me, Cas. I mean… no matter what, Dot comes first. Even if you were living here, moved in or what not… Dot would come first. She has to…that’s just part of having a kid. Now, you and I don’t have kids but… I don’t know man… I know this isn’t easy, but seeing Dean like he was this week? It was pretty fucked up.”

Cas nodded and looked down at his coffee, turning the mug in his hands and letting the heat soak through the ceramic to warm his fingers. He was glad for the hot beverage it both gave him something to focus on as well as fought back the chill of the early morning.

“I want this to work for you both, Cas.” Sam said after a moment and Cas looked up to see him giving him a small smile. “I’ve always been on your side, you know that.”

“I do,” Cas nodded and leaned back into the deck chair with a sigh. He remembered all too well how many times he had called Sam freaking out, crying or screaming the first few weeks after he came home to realize Dean had left him. Although Sam never sold Dean out or told Cas where he was… he was very clear with his opinion on the situation.

“I did apologize,” Cas looked over at Sam again. “I know I was out of line… and there’s really no excuse. Dean and I have to learn how to do this together again, all of it, and even more so now because of Dotty. But don’t think for one moment I don’t want this… okay, Sam? Because I do… And I don’t know what the future is going to bring… but I want this to work. And that beautiful, little girl means the world to Dean, I know she does… you can tell by just watching the two of them together. And I really, really want a chance to be a part of that.”

Sam nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “Yeah, I want that for you both too.” Cas exhaled softly, glad that Dean’s brother was still supportive of their relationship after all of these years. They fell into a comfortable silence, drinking their coffee as the sun made its way up higher in the sky. It was Sam who heard the tiny footsteps running down the stairs first. “Incoming,” he laughed as the back door was thrown open and Dot came running out in her bear-patterned footie pajamas.

“Cas!” she beamed, throwing herself into Cas’s arms. “You stayed! You really stayed!”

“Course I did!” Cas laughed and was grateful when Sam freed him of his half–finished coffee. “You thought I was just going to disappear?”

Dotty just giggled happily and buried her head into his neck.

Dean woke up because his bed felt cold and empty. After much groaning and stretching he climbed out of bed, quickly visited the bathroom before pulling on a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants. Groggily running his fingers through his unruly hair he started down the stairs, following the delicious aroma of fresh coffee.

Entering the kitchen, he was greeted by the sight of Cas, Dotty and Sam all sitting at the kitchen table. Cas was piling more pancakes on the little girl’s plate and all three of them were laughing. It was Sam that caught sight of Dean first, and his brother smiled and gave him a wink before nudging Dot’s chair with his foot.

“Look who decided to roll out of bed!” the child turned and grinned, her lips tinted blue by the blueberry pancakes.

“Morning, Daddy!”

“Morning, Sunshine… Morning, Love… Morning, Sasquatch..! Hey, where’s Jess? You didn’t forget her at the bar last night, did you?” Dean grinned and went to pour himself some coffee.

Sam shot him a look but Dorothy answered for him, crossing her arms and turning in her seat, “No, Daddy! Jess has to get her beauty sleep!”

“Yeah, Dad, didn’t you know that?” Sam added, crossing his arms in the same manner his niece had.

Dean grabbed the sink sponge and threw it at Sam, rolling his eyes. He sat next to Cas and leaned over to softly kiss his cheek. “See, that’s why I love Cas, he’s all beautiful no matter how much sleep he gets,” he said sticking his tongue out at his brother.

Sam rolled his eyes and Cas leaned into Dean’s shoulder, smiling back at him. From across the table, Dot’s eyes widened and she gasped aloud.

“Daddy said he loves you!” She whispered to Cas, a grin breaking out across her face. “He only says that to me!”

Dean’s face froze as he heard his daughter’s words, her whispered words loud enough for both him and Sam to hear.

Cas gave Dean a sideways glance before leaning forward to Dotty, pretending to whisper back. “I think I love him too. That okay with you?” Dot’s grin seemed to widen even more and she nodded enthusiastically before looking up to her Dad with a giggle.

An answering smile spread slowly across Dean’s lips until he beamed at his daughter. “You’re the ‘bestest’ daughter ever, thank you, Dot,” he grinned.

Dot giggled again and went back to her pancakes.

Dean grinned at Cas and kissed his cheek once more before helping himself to some pancakes too.

“This is too much domestic bliss way too early in the morning for me… I think I’m going to be sick,” Sam groaned but smiled happily as he pressed his coffee cup to his lips. “I think Dotty and I are going to go do some errands today…” he looked down at his niece and she gasped, dropping her fork.

“Really? You mean it?” she asked, green eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Yup, if it’s okay with your Daddy?” Sam looked across the table to his brother.

Dean raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have to take her along...” he told his brother, but then caught the look on Dorothy’s face. “Unless of course you insist, then you would be welcome to take her along.”

“I… I have to go, Daddy!” Dotty explained, head nodding excitedly. Then the child glanced about secretively, before turning to Sam, “Are we gonna buy a… a you-know-what, Uncle Sammy?”

Sam broke into a sly grin after glancing towards the still empty stairs, “We sure are, sweetie.”

“Uncle Sammy and I… we have very super-secret stuff to buy. We couldn’t go last week ‘cuz I was so sick and he didn’t want to take me out.”

Sam nodded, laughing into his coffee. “Plus, since we’re leaving late tonight… I have to spend some time with my favorite niece before I go!”

“Oh, dear… a super-secret important mission, huh? Quick, get dressed! You must leave immediately. You don’t even have to finish your breakfast. Go… go fast!” Dean gushed with wide eyes and reached for Dot’s nearly empty plate.

Dorothy squealed with delight and threw herself out of her chair to run up the stairs to her room. They could hear her tiny feet tapping down the hallway and Cas laughed.

“I hope your super, secret, surprise didn’t need Jessica to still be asleep…” he said and laughed again when he saw the expression on Sam’s face.

“Would have been easier…” Sam admitted, but shrugged. “Jess wanted to go tanning today anyways I think, so maybe we can drop her off…”

“I have a big, beautiful back yard and the sun is shining, she can tan here.” Dean suggested.

“I’ll suggest it,” Sam smiled and looked up as a sleepy Jessica came into the kitchen, her hair piled up in a messy bun on the top of her head. “Morning, beautiful.” Sam stood up and pulled out a chair for Jess, getting her a cup of hot coffee and giving her a kiss as she sat into the chair.

“I can’t believe I slept that long…” She smiled gratefully and accepted the coffee. “Morning guys,” she nodded sleepily to Cas and Dean.

“Morning. I’m sorry Dot woke you up,” Dean cringed slightly. “His fault.” he added pointing at his brother.

“See what I had to put up with?” Sam scoffed, looking offended. “Always blamed me for everything.”

Jess laughed and patted his cheek. “You poor, picked on man, you!”

Sam nodded and leaned into her touch with a smile. “So, babe… I’m going to take Dot out for a little bit, she’s upstairs getting ready. Do you want to just hang out here or… should I wait until you’re ready?”

“No… you guys can go,” Jess shook her head. “I’ll pack our stuff and make sure we don’t leave your brother’s house a giant mess.”

“Oh please, what mess? You’re not suggesting you’re going to take Dot with you to Cali, are you?” Dean asked with a smirk.

“Oh, please,” Jess laughed. “I don’t think we could pry that little girl away from you if we tried! She’s a daddy’s girl, all the way.”

“Yeah, I guess. She’s gotten pretty used to me over the years,” Dean admitted teasingly.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Dean,” Cas nudged him and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. “You’re a fantastic Dad and Dot knows it.”

“I know!” Dean winked. “I wouldn’t want to be pried away from my girl either.”

“I’m ready!” Dorothy came thumping back down the stairs, completely dressed including a pair of hot pink sneakers Bobby had gotten her for her birthday. “Ready, Uncle Sammy?”

“I’m ready, kiddo!” Sam laughed and picked her up. He leaned down to give Jess a goodbye kiss before waving at Dean and Cas and leaving with Dotty. Jess finished her coffee, the silence in the kitchen comfortable, before she excused herself to go and get ready for the day.

“I probably should manage to see my Dad at some point today. Do you have any plans?” Cas asked as he gathered the dirty plates from breakfast and turned to look at Dean.

“No, no plans... When will you have to leave for New York?”

“I took Monday off from work, my flight leaves at 4pm tomorrow.”

“Really? You’re staying another night?” Dean beamed and kissed Cas deeply. “I’m not sure if your being here is more Dotty’s present or mine.” he winked.

Dotty flew down the stairs with her helmet and knee pads and stormed out onto the patio. She looked around, obviously looking for something. Once she spotted it she went over and patted her new skateboard. “There you are!”

Cas looked up from the patio chair and smiled when he saw Dorothy all decked out. Sam and Dot had returned just minutes after Dean and Cas had gotten back from visiting with Chuck but the pair had immediately rushed to Dotty’s room, whispering back and forth to one another.

Now, Sam was helping Jess finish packing their things while Dean was getting dinner ready before they had to leave to catch their flight.

“You were looking for me?” He asked with a smile and leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

“No, I was looking for this.” she said with a look that tried to say “You’re asking weird questions”. She grabbed her board and showed it to Cas.

“Oh,” Cas laughed and watched as she made her way across the patio to get the board. “That’s a pretty neat skateboard.”

“Yes! yes it is! Daddy said I could go out on the boardwalk at the park with it. I have to practice so I can go to the park with Mattie and ‘cuz now I have my own board and I don’t have to wait for him to give me his,” Dotty beamed. She held the knee pads out to Cas. “Help me, please?”

“Alright, sure!” Cas said as he pushed out of the chair and followed Dorothy back through the house. “Let me just tell your Dad we’re going to be heading out, okay?”

“Okay.” She didn’t wait for him to go outside though, but she at least sat on the front steps to wait for him and put on her kneepads on while doing so.

“I’m taking Dotty to go practice her skateboarding,” Cas slipped his arm around Dean’s waist and kissed the back of his neck. “And yes, she has knee pads, elbow pads, and a helmet.”

“Well, she better, I told her she has to wear them,” Dean smiled and turned his head for a quick kiss on Cas’s lips. “Thanks for looking after her.”

“We’ll be back in time for dinner,” Cas smiled back and left to find Dorothy, all decked out in her gear. “Ready to go?”

“Yes!” Dotty stood up and grabbed her board, the other hand finding Cas’s. He smiled down at her as they set off down the street, Dorothy tugging on his arm to lead him to a small path that lead to the park.

“Is your friend Mattie going to be here today?”

“No, they go to his Grandma’s house on Sundays and she doesn’t like him skateboarding. She’s really nice, but she says skateboards are too dangerous for kids.”

“Oh, I see…” Cas nodded and gave Dotty a small smile. “Well, I suppose they can be. That’s why we always wear our protective gear and helmet, right?”

“Yes. we do!” she grinned up at him.

Cas grinned at her as they reached the play area on the boardwalk, then crossed his arms, looking down at her. “Alright, kiddo. Show me what you’ve got!” he laughed as her eyes widened and she dropped the board to the pavement.

“Just, stay out of my way, Cas,” she giggled remembering their first meeting, “ ‘Member what happened last time!” she warned.

She climbed onto the board and pushed herself off with one foot. Cas laughed and sat down on a nearby park bench, watching as Dot sped off, kicking her foot against the ground every few seconds to keep her speed up.

She stayed close enough for Cas to watch her, but she only came back to him when she was out of breath. She plopped down next to him and tried to catch her breath.

“Don’t tell your Dad but… I think you can skate better than he used to,” Cas winked down at her and took the board from her hands to lay it against the side of the bench. “We probably should have brought some water or something…”

Dorothy nodded. “Do we have to go yet… for dinner?”

Cas looked down at his watch and shook his head, “We have about… fifteen minutes more probably. Do you want to head back now or do you want to hang out for a little while?”

“Hang out,” Dorothy decided and dangled her feet.

“Alright,” Cas leaned back against the back of the bench. “Did you have fun with your Uncle Sammy today?”

“I was working!” she insisted with a very serious voice. “But after we got all done Uncle Sammy bought me ice cream and took me to the playground and I had fun.”

“Working huh?” Cas nodded seriously, fighting back the urge to laugh. “And you got paid in ice cream and park time? I wish I could get that…”

“Yes, but Uncle Sammy says I’m not s’posed to talk about my work.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Cas promised. “How about you choose what we talk about!”

“Did you meet Mattie yesterday? He’s my bestest friend in school. He gave me this skateboard for my birthday.” Dot looked happily up at Castiel.

“I think so… he was the one who wanted to have just cheese and pickles instead of a burger, right?” Cas asked her.

“He eats weird, but he’s my friend anyway. He also has two Dads.” Dot shared with Cas matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” Cas looked down at her to see her peering up at him, her eyes wide. “Does he? That’s… that’s really neat…”

“I want two daddies too. And you could be my other dad. You’re real nice, and you read good stories. And you go to the park with me, and you made me breakfast. All the things my daddy does too.”

Cas was silent for a moment, his heart starting to pound faster in his chest. He cleared his throat once then swallowed hard. He felt… terrified. Terrified that someone so small and so precious and innocent could want someone like him to be such a huge and important part of their lives. Terrified… and so very blessed.

“Thank you, Dotty,” he said finally, reaching over to pull the child against his chest into a hug. “That means a lot that you would consider me for a job as important as that.”

Dorothy hugged Cas back tightly. “You also make Daddy very happy. Mattie says that’s what two daddies do. And kiss...” she made a slightly disgusted face.

Cas laughed and shook his head, “I think that’s my cue to say it’s time for dinner.” he laughed and the little girl jumped off of the bench to grab her skateboard.

“Can I use the skateboard to go home? I’ll try to go slow so I’m not too far away.”

“You have to stay close to the side of the boardwalk and when we get on the path you have to carry it, okay? Or I can carry it. Rocks and skateboards are not friends, just ask your dad.”

“I know. Dad only lets me to use it on the pavement at Uncle Bobby’s.”

“Alright, let’s go then,” Cas smiled and followed after Dotty as she sped off.


	20. Chapter 20

Castiel nervously cruised around the airport pickup loop again, his eyes searching anxiously for his visitors. Dean had told him not to worry, there was no need to come in, and that he could meet them outside once they’d collected their bags. The airport was bustling with activity -- cars and vans circling just as he was. Added to that commotion were the hundreds of newly arrived passengers many with screaming kids, dragging suitcases behind them as they searched for whatever mode of transportation they needed to get out of the airport.

Circling around once again, Cas saw them and his heart immediately jumped to his throat. Somehow, Dean had decided getting a four a.m. flight would be a good idea and although Dot looked bright eyed and bushy-tailed, Dean looked as if he needed to sleep for about a year. His hair was standing in all different directions, his eyes had dark circles marring them, and Cas smiled; even like this, disheveled and off his game, Dean Winchester was perfect.

“Hey!” He rolled down the electric, passenger window and pulled up to the curb under the JetBlue overhang. Dot let out a squeal of recognition and yanked her father forward to the car. Dean almost lost his balance but used the weight of their suitcases to right himself before moving forward, beaming when he saw Cas.

Dean opened the back door and quickly buckled in the car seat he’d brought along, so Dotty could sit up higher and see out the window of the plane during their flight.

"Cas!" the little girl greeted her friend as she scrambled into her seat.

Dean wrapped his knuckles on the trunk lid and waited for Cas to open it so he could toss their suitcases inside. Cas popped the lever and then turned towards the backseat to smile at Dotty.

“Hey, kiddo!” he laughed and opened his arms for Dorothy to give him a hug before Dean buckled her in. “Did you enjoy your flight? Was that your first time on a plane?”

“Oh yes! The pretty lady gave me bunches of peanuts and I even got a whole soda just for me!” Her eyes were wide and Cas laughed. Well, that explained how she was so awake…

“And I take it that wasn’t sugar-free soda either, huh?” he smirked as Dean leaned in to fasten her straps and met his boyfriend's eyes.

"Oh… I wonder how you guessed that," Dean grinned tiredly as he let himself fall into the passenger seat. He leaned over and kissed his boyfriend quickly.

Cas smiled against Dean's lips and then pulled back, waiting for Dean to buckle himself before slowly pulling away from the curb.

"I figured we could go back to my place so you guys can unload and then we can either cook up something for a late breakfast or we can go out... you look exhausted, Dean."

"It's okay." Dean smiled and leaned his head back.

"I drawed a picture for you, Cas. I seen the clouds." Dorothy babbled while Dean nodded off slowly.

"Oh yeah?" Cas met the little girl's eyes in the rear view mirror and smiled. "I can't wait to have it hanging on my fridge!"

The two of them passed into easy conversation about what Dean and Dotty wanted to do while they were in New York and how the flight went. Dean shrugged about the former, giving Cas a look. Cas chuckled, knowing how much Dean hated flying. 

" I held his hand and told him it was okay." Dot beamed proudly. "The plane didn't even get all bouncy like Daddy said it might so I told him it wasn't gonna crash or anything."

Cas snorted and looked over at Dean's relaxed face, turned towards him, as if he’d been intending to listen to their conversation before sleep inevitably won out.

By the time they pulled into the parking garage behind Cas’s new apartment building, Dot had stopped talking and was staring, wide-eyed out the window.

As Cas parked his car, Dean jerked awake. Cas smiled at him and looked in the mirror towards Dot. "Ready to go inside?" he asked and she nodded happily, already reaching to undo her seat belts. "So... It's going to look pretty empty. I haven't gotten much furniture yet..." he warned as he slipped out of the car, locking the doors as they emptied the trunk, each man carrying a bag.

"Cas, don't worry. We're here to see you, not a well furnished apartment. As long as you have a shower and a bed, I'm good." Dean winked at his boyfriend.

Dorothy gasped, "Do you have a table or are we eating on the floor? Like picnic?"

Cas snorted and looked down at Dotty. "I do have a table... but!" he added when he saw the look of disappointment cross her face. "I know how to get on the roof and guess what? There's a garden up there with a picnic table that I'm sure we can eat on."

Dorothy's eyes went huge and she clapped excitedly. "Yes!" She tugged on her daddy's shirt. "Daddy! We can eat on the roof!"

Cas laughed and pushed the call-button for the garage elevator. Dorothy babbled happily already planning their roof meal animatedly, and Cas smiled as he watched her with Dean. It had been a long two months, and although he'd been excited and couldn't wait for Dot and Dean to get there, he'd underestimated how right this would feel. He slipped his hand into Dean's and leaned back against the elevator wall, completely content.

Dean smiled happily as they went upstairs. He had been excited to finally see Cas again and going to New York with Dot for two weeks of her long summer break was a great excuse to finally be with him again.

It also was their first out-of-state vacation together ever and they were both very excited about not only being with Cas but being in the huge city of New York as well. 

"Alright, here we are!" Cas said as they stepped from the elevator and into a hallway. His apartment was four doors down on the left and after making quick work of his keys, he pushed the door open to let Dean and Dorothy inside.

Dot stormed inside while the two men followed with the bags.

"It's nice, Cas," Dean smiled softly.

"Yeah," Cas nodded and showed them around quickly. "Kitchen... living room... bathroom... Here's my bedroom," Cas pushed the door open and let Dean drop his bags down onto the floor before moving them all back into the hallway to stand in front of a second closed door. Catching Dean’s eye for a moment he grinned slyly and winked before he began to very slowly push the second door open. "And this room is..."

Dorothy squealed when the open door revealed a small pink canopy bed pressed up against one wall, a pretty pink dresser and, best of all, a truly special nightstand with a butterfly-shaped top and painted to look like a beautiful butterfly. Dot ran across the floor to stroke her hands gently across the wooden butterfly before kissing it softly. Her smile nearly swallowed her face, “Oooh, thank you, Cas… I loooove it!”

In the far corner sat a simple desk with a computer set up on top of it, and Dean realized Cas had given up his home office for the sake of his little girl. It brought a lump to his throat to see such a sweet, thoughtful gesture.

"Cas!" Dean whispered in a low voice, before kissing him softly. "Thank you," he smiled.

"It…um… It was on sale..." Cas shrugged, blushing at all the attention. Dorothy made a bee-line for the bed, jumping onto it and bouncing a few times before she started pulling open the drawers of her pretty nightstand.

"Sale or not, you have no idea how much this means to me, Love."

Cas leaned back against Dean's chest and hummed contentedly when Dean's arms slid gently around his waist. "I missed you guys," he said softly.

"We missed you too," Dean replied and nuzzled Cas's neck. "I missed you the most," he whispered.

 

"I’m going to get you guys something to eat," Cas turned in Dean's arms, kissing him softly before slipping out of the room. "And meanwhile you and Dotty can relax and get settled."

"Thank you." Dean let go off Cas and joined his little girl to help her unpack her bag and put her things in her new nightstand and dresser.

Cas smiled happily as he walked back down the hallway and let himself out of the apartment. Taking the elevator down to the first floor, he made his way to the front entrance of his building and walked two blocks down the street to his favorite little diner. Glancing at his watch he was reminded it was barely 10 a.m. But then remembering Dean’s eternal love affair with great burgers he decided that rather than a late breakfast they’d enjoy an early lunch, because without a doubt this place served the best burgers he'd ever eaten anywhere.

He ordered juicy burgers for Dean and him, asking for the buns to be kept separate so they wouldn't be scrunched and soggy by the time he got back to the apartment, added chicken fingers and fries for Dot and then sat down at the counter to sip a coffee while he waited for their food.

"I got my own room at Cas's, Daddy!" Dorothy beamed at her father when they were done. "It's so cool!"

"Yes, it really is! It's a really, nice room." Dean sat down on the bed. "You're a very lucky girl," he grinned. "So, what do you want to do while we wait for Cas to come back?"

"Where is the picture I drawed?"

Dot followed Dean down the hall into Cas’s room and waited patiently while he fetched the drawing from his bag and handed it over to her. She took it and skipped down the hallway back into the kitchen. "Daddy! Cas doesn't have any magnets!"

"Really? We'll have to buy Cas some then. But maybe he has some scotch tape that we can use until we buy him a few magnets," Dean suggested as he followed her into the kitchen.

Dot started pulling drawers open, searching for tape or anything she could have used to put the picture on the fridge. When she pulled the drawer closest to the fridge open it slid out completely, spilling its contents onto the floor With a clatter. Her eyes widened as she turned in shock to her Dad. "Daddy….I didn’t mean to… I didn't even pull that hard!"

“It’s okay, honey… Don’t worry. Daddy would have done the same thing. C’mon… I’ll help you pick it all up,” Dean offered gently.

It was the sight of the two of them hunched down on the floor, picking up the contents of the junk drawer --scotch tape included-- that greeted Cas when he walked back into the apartment. He laughed when he saw Dot's wide eyes and Dean's sheepish expression.

"I've been meaning to fix that drawer..." he chuckled.

"You could have put a warning sign on it, you know? Or not hide the scotch tape in it. Or just have magnets, you know?" Dean teased looking up at him.

Cas laughed and bent down to pick up the drawer from the floor, fighting for a second with the runner before he managed to slip it back into its rightful place. "Yeah, yeah," he laughed and then picked Dot up from the floor. "Don't worry, it was broken before, Dotty." he reassured her after noticing how quiet she’d gotten, as if she were afraid she was in trouble.

Dean stood up and moved to the sink to wash his hands. "Let's see what Cas bought for us to eat, hmmm?" He smiled, ruffling Dotty's hair.

"Okay," Dot nodded and leaned her head on Cas' shoulder. "I didn't mean to make a mess... I just wanted tape for your picture..."

"Well, thank you for making me a picture! And don’t worry, Dot. It was about time I cleaned out that drawer anyways." Cas smiled at her and carried her over to the small dining table at the far end of the kitchen. "I got you some chicken fingers... is that okay with you?"

"Yes! I love chicken fingers," she beamed.

"Okay, good!" Cas smiled at her and pushed the take out bag towards Dean so he could get them plates to eat off of and the ketchup for Dorothy from the fridge.

Dean and Dorothy sat down at the table and Dean opened the bag to take out the boxes.

"Here," Cas handed over the plates and smiled as Dean fixed Dorothy's plate before building their burgers.

"Burgers for breakfast," Dean grinned.

"That lady gave us some stuff on the plane, Daddy. This is lunch," Dot corrected.

"Yeah, Dean, this is lunch," Cas laughed and grabbed his plate along with three bottles of water from the fridge. “Shall we?” he asked and with Dorothy’s squeal of excitement they exited the apartment and made their ways to the elevator that would take them to the roof. 

The moment they stepped off, Dorothy’s eyes lit up and she almost dropped her plate of chicken fingers. Cas laughed and shoved the bottles of water underneath his arm and rescued her plate, nodding to her that she could go and explore. 

On one half of the roof, there was a large raised garden bed, full of large tomato and cucumber plants and a trellis for snow peas and green beans. The other half held large flower pots teaming with bright, colorful blossoms. If Castiel closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, he could almost forget that he was in the middle of a city.

Cas led Dean over one of the three picnic tables and set their plates down. Dorothy ran over giggling and threw herself beside Cas on the bench. 

“You can even hear the birds!” she squealed and Cas nodded. 

“See those feeders hanging?” He pointed and Dorothy followed his finger. “Sometimes they even come right up close to get their own breakfasts and lunches.” Dorothy kept her eyes trained on the feeders while she started to eat. 

Dean grinned at them then took a bite of his burger and then let loose a nearly orgasmic groan of delight at the delicious taste.

Cas chuckled and shook his head, watching as Dorothy and Dean talked about the garden and the bird that appeared at the feeder. Yeah, it was good to have them here and feel like a part of this sweet little family.

“So I was thinking we could head out and get some frozen yogurt before dark tonight..." Cas told Dean as he washed their lunch plates. They’d spent some time lounging in the garden after lunch, but when Dorothy’s face started to get too pink, Dean declared it was time to go inside --if only to grab the sunscreen. Dotty had gone back off to her bedroom and could be heard playing with the dolls she’d brought with her. "Do you want to grab a nap before we go? You still look dead on your feet.”

"Yeah... I guess a nap would be great. I hate flying, you're living way too far away." Dean sighed.  
"Would you tuck me in?" Dean asked stepping behind Cas, laying his arms around his waist and kissing his neck.

"Do you think Dotty will take a nap too?" Cas let his eyes fall closed, shivering at the feeling of Dean's lips against his skin.

"She usually does, but it’s seldom planned, she usually just drops asleep among her dolls and toys and sleeps right there." Dean murmured, smiling at memories of picking her up from among her toys quite frequently.

Cas laughed softly and leaned in, capturing Dean's lips in a soft kiss. "Alright, let's get you into bed then. I'll check on her in a little bit."

"Okay," Dean smiled and let go, starting his way towards the bedroom. "Thank you, for the bed for Dotty. She's so happy about it."

"I'm so glad. I was a bit worried honestly... I've never had to buy kids’ furniture before..."

"You did well, she loves it."

"Good," Cas smiled and followed Dean towards the bedroom. He'd paused for just a moment outside of Dot's door, spotting the six-year-old playing happily with her dolls and he raised an eyebrow as he realized she had two Ken dolls she was trying to make walk with their hands joined together.

Dean looked over his shoulder at where Cas stood and raised his eyebrow. "What?" He mouthed.

Cas shook his head, barely containing the smile on his face as he shoved Dean into his bedroom and shut the door, leaving it open a crack so they could hear Dot. "Dotty's Ken dolls look... very happy," he smirked.

"Oh, uh… yes, they are…" Dean smirked. “Holding hands again, right? She’s been doing that for a couple of months now.”

Cas laughed and reached for Dean, softly gripping his hips to draw him in closer. "I’m so glad you're here," he whispered before closing the distance between them and kissing Dean.

Dean kissed back, finally alone enough with Cas, to show just how much he had missed him.

Cas deepened the kiss, running his hands up Dean's back. He walked them backwards slowly until the backs of Dean’s knees hit the mattress and he pressed Dean down onto it as he slotted himself against Dean's outstretched body.

Dean smiled against Cas's lips, hooking one leg around Cas.

"Mmm, Dean," Cas groaned against Dean's mouth before taking his lower lip between his teeth and sucking gently.

Dean moaned softly. He felt completely torn between being exhausted from the flight and early rising, and wanting anything their hungry kissing could lead to.

Cas moved away from Dean's mouth and kissed all along his jaw, biting gently into the soft flesh before pulling back. "Sleep," he smirked down at Dean, kissing him once more. "You're here for two weeks, plenty of time to make out...later. Preferably when Dotty is actually asleep..."

"You're a terrible tease, I hate you, Shirley!" Dean smirked and kicked off his shoes before unbuckling his belt.

"Love you,too," Cas smiled and pulled the covers back for Dean to climb into the bed. He kicked off his own shoes and laid on top of the covers beside him.

"Love you so much, Cas. So glad to be here." Dean smiled and snuggled into the pillow. "Mmmh, it smells like you."

Cas turned on his side and smiled as he watched Dean get comfortable, his eyes falling shut. He leaned over once, brushing his lips lightly against Dean's forehead and when he'd fallen asleep, he slipped back out of the room to check on Dorothy.

"You're really sure you wanna see “Shaun the Sheep”, Cas?" Dean asked doubtfully as they got out of the car at the movie theater.

Cas smirked and reached for Dean's hand, taking it in his own. "Well, I don't know how this day could possibly get any better … especially after that M&M store..." he beamed and Dorothy nodded eagerly.

"Daddy? Can I bring in my M&Ms to the movie?"

"Sure you can, Princess, if you put them in your purse." Dean took Cas's hand and waited.

Dot grabbed the bag from the side of her car seat and adjusted her dress before shutting the car door. Dean helped her open her little pink Disney Princess purse and slide the bag inside before snapping the purse closed. Smiling at the two of them before moving to take Cas's hand Dot started to pull him toward the theatre.

Cas laughed at her eagerness and looked back at the surprised Dean whose outstretched hand remained empty. 'I win' he mouthed and winked.

As he hurried to catchup to Dot and her “daddy replacement” Dean gave Cas a playful glare and they all walked inside together.

"How about you get popcorn and I'll get the tickets?" Cas asked as they stepped inside the air conditioned building.

"You sure you want popcorn? I feel more like nachos. Want me to get both?"

"You know the way to my heart," Cas winked as Dorothy tugged on Cas' sleeve. "Will you share your popcorn with me?" she asked.

"Only if you share your M&Ms," he replied and she smiled in agreement. "We'll meet you by the concession?"

"Who you coming with, little Bear?"

"Can I stay with Cas, Daddy?"

"Sure you can. I'll see you two in a bit." Dean pecked Cas's lips quickly and ruffled Dot's hair playfully before making his way to get nachos and popcorn.

"Ready?" Cas asked, squeezing the little girl’s hand. She nodded and they hurried to get in line for their tickets.

Dean looked over his shoulder at the two people he loved and grinned. Seeing them both like this made him so happy. He wished so badly as didn't live so far away so he could have this kind of life every day.

Cas looked down at his little friend to ask if she was excited to see the movie but stopped when he saw the frightened look on her face. "Dotty? Dotty... what's wrong?" The child's eyes were wide, her hand was shaking in his. Cas glanced around quickly, trying to see what had the child so upset.

"Ba-bad man…" she whispered and Cas looked back down at her.

"What?" he bent down, pulling Dot around to face him. "Who's a bad man?" She pointed and Cas followed her finger to a couple standing people ahead of them. He was confused and moved to ask Dotty what she meant when the blond man turned to the side and Cas caught his profile.

Balthazar's profile…

Totally unaware of who was standing in the ticket queue a mere fifty feet away from him, Dean hummed happily to himself as he waited in the snack line.

"It's okay, Dotty," Cas said and leaned down to pick her up. She wrapped her small arms around his neck and he could still feel her shaking against him. "He's just in line like we are... he's not even going to notice that we're here."

Cas tried to give her a reassuring smile but as luck would have it, Lady Luck was looking the other way and wasn't on his side at all. Balthazar and the man with him bought their tickets and as they turned, Balt's eyes immediately found Cas and trailed over Dotty in his arms.

Cas felt frozen, he tried to give Balt a small smile in recognition, but his stomach twisted when Balt leaned over to kiss his companion’s cheek and moved toward Cas. Dotty shoved her head against Cas's neck and he forced himself to hold his ground rather than turn and leave.

"Cas!" Balt smiled at him, all teeth, his eyes shining. "I see you're with your... family?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Balt," Cas responded, ignoring the rest of his comment. "I see you're with... your date?"

"Yup, boyfriend, actually," Balt shrugged and looked over his shoulder at the man who was waiting patiently for him. "You would like him. Well... you know, if things were different. He's actually probably the best thing that's happened to me in... God, at least the last four or five years."

Catching the clearly intended insult, Cas swallowed hard, his gut churning again. "Well... Good. You should probably go back to him then..." Balt shrugged and his eyes trailed over Dorothy once more, a brief look of guilt flitting across his face before he turned away. Cas waited until they were out of sight before he spoke again.

"He's gone, Dotty..." he reassured her softly.

"I want my Daddy," Dorothy whispered against Cas' neck, her voice thick with unshed tears and Cas felt his heart twist.

Dean had just finished getting their snacks and beverages and was waiting at their agreed upon meeting spot for his daughter and boyfriend. His eyes went wide suddenly and he stiffened, holding his breath as he recognized one of the two men walking past him headed towards an R-rated flick. What were the odds of running into a specific person in a town so huge? And why Balthazar of all the people…? His eyes quickly sought out Cas and Dot standing in the ticket line.

At the same time Cas was looking for Dean. Feeling relief as he spotted him, before comforting Dot. "Okay, sweetheart," he nodded as he met Dean's eyes across the concession area. "Look, Dotty, Daddy is looking right at us. See him? He’s right there." he nodded his head in Dean's direction and felt Dotty lift her head up to peek over Cas's shoulder. "We're gonna get the tickets but you can watch your Daddy the entire time, okay?"

Dean watched Cas and Dotty talking quietly, his heart racing, scared for his little girl. He knew how damn scared of Balthazar she was and from the way she was clinging to Cas he knew they had seen the man too.

Cas continued talking to Dotty, asking what she thought might happen in the movie, if she thought the sheep would be able to talk. She answered softly, a few words here and there. Cas felt her discomfort and had never prayed harder for any line to move more quickly in his whole life.

Dean waited impatiently, his foot tapping nervously. Cas finally broke eye contact with Dean to get their tickets. He let Dorothy carry them, hoping to distract her a little as they walked over to join Dean. He gave him a small smile.

“Do you want to be by your Daddy?” Cas asked Dorothy. “I can carry the snacks…”

“Yeah, let’s switch, Cas. Come here, Princess,” Dean set the snacks down on a counter area next to him and opened his arms to take Dorothy. “Hey, Dot, you think Timmy’s gonna be in this movie?” he asked her as he settled her on his hip.

Cas smiled sadly as Dot clung to her Daddy, mumbling her tearful response into Dean’s shoulder. Cas picked up the snacks and nodded down the hallway, following Dean into their screening theater. They quickly found some empty seats, and even though Cas didn’t really expect Balthazar to be sitting in an animated children’s movie with his… _boyfriend_ … that didn’t stop him from looking around the theater.

Picking their seats, they placed Dot in the middle seat and then put one drink into Dean’s cup holder and one in Cas’s so Dot had access to both of them. Once Dot had settled in her seat Cas sighed softly, glad Dorothy was starting to relax. It took three entire previews of upcoming kids’ flicks before she was smiling and giggling again, the entire conversation with Balthazar forgotten.

The movie started and Cas sank down a bit into his seat, glad for the comforting darkness of the theater so he could be lost in his own thoughts…

Dean kissed Dorothy goodnight, and slowly backed out of the room. Their day had been a long one and fairly emotional, but she had made it all the way through the movie before finally falling asleep in the car. Dean sometimes really envied her, when he was carrying her from car to bed and wished he could be as lucky and cared for as her sometimes.

Cas let them into the apartment and gave Dean the space he needed to get Dorothy ready for bed. He went to his own bedroom, slipping quietly into the shower and trying not to think of Balthazar and his ‘date’.

He shouldn’t feel jealous… there was _nothing_ to be jealous of. Cas closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the tile, letting the hot water beat down on his back. He had Dean in his life and even in his home now, practically ten steps away, and that’s was what he really wanted, there was no doubt in his mind. He shouldn’t care that Balt had moved on… He should be happy for him. But Cas couldn’t stop the questions flooding his mind.

How long had they been together? Did the other man come to stay at his-- _Balt’s house_ he reminded himself-- and sleep in the bed that used to be his? Was Balt falling in love with him?

Dean heard the shower when he came into the bedroom after tucking his little daughter in. Of course they hadn’t talked about seeing Balthazar, not with Dot around. And Dean knew, could see it on his face, that Cas still had it on his mind. Of course he would have, Dean had too and he didn’t have a five year history with the guy. With a resigned sigh, he settled down on the edge of the bed and started undressing, waiting and wondering about what Cas would say.

Cas shut off the water and quickly toweled off as much as he could before knotting the towel around his waist and slipping back into the bedroom. He was greeted with the sight of Dean’s muscular back, his t-shirt laying discarded on the floor. Dean turned slightly and gave Cas a gentle smile, his eyes trailing over Cas’s bare chest.

Cas swallowed once, as he stepped forward, shutting off his mind, trying to forget all about Balthazar and his boyfriend, refusing to think about what they would be doing after the movie. Because this? This is what Cas wanted, what he needed. Not Balthazar, but Dean.

He let the towel fall to the floor as he moved and saw Dean’s pupils widen. Positioning himself so they were face to face, he sealed his lips over Dean’s, swallowing the soft sound of surprise that rumbled in Dean’s throat and pushed him back further, allowing Cas to straddle his hips, never breaking their kiss.

Dean was taken by surprise, but he didn’t break the kiss, loving the feel of Cas’s lips on his too much to let go. Cas groaned against Dean’s mouth, his skin cool against Cas’ shower-warmed skin and he ground his hips down against Dean’s still-jean clad ones. He ran his hands up Dean’s chest, fingers flicking across Dean’s nipples before he pushed him back to lie on the bed completely.

“Dean,” Cas whispered against his lips, reaching between their bodies to cup Dean through the denim fabric. “I want you… I want you so bad.”

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean groaned, throwing his head back, eyes closing.

“That’s the idea,” Cas laughed, moving away from Dean’s lips to kiss down Dean’s neck. He flicked his thumb over the button of Dean’s jeans, then worked the zipper down. He rolled his hips against Dean’s, both men groaning together.

“Cas,” Dean breathed out, hands sliding down to cup Cas’ bare ass, pulling him closer. “Cas, wait…”

“I don’t want to wait,” Cas shook his head, silencing Dean with another kiss. He shifted his hips up so he could slide Dean’s jeans down his thighs. “Want you, Dean. Want to feel you. Want you to fuck me.”

Dean shivered underneath him but his hands stilled where they’d been massaging the globes of Cas’s ass. “Cas…. no,” Dean shook his head and Cas met his bright green eyes, his own clouded with arousal. “No.”

“Why not? We’ve waited so long,” Cas whispered back, grinding down against him. He could feel Dean’s body, hot and hard against him, he knew Dean wanted him too.

“Because, Cas,” Dean whispered just as softly and pushed himself into a sitting position, holding Cas tight against his body. “I want you, God, you know that I do. But… not like this.” Cas gave him a confused look and moved to kiss him again, but Dean turned his head.

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to ‘fuck you’, Cas. I love you and I haven’t been with you in ten years. I sure as hell am planning on taking my time and making _love to you.”_

Cas swallowed and nodded his head slowly. “We can do that too.”

“And we will,” Dean agreed, kissing Cas softly. “But not tonight. Not when you’re thinking of Balt and his boyfriend. Not when you’re questioning your choices and feeling guilty or angry. Our first time together isn’t going to be because of that. It deserves better… _we_ deserve better.”

Cas felt himself blush, embarrassment and shame flooding him as he realized that not only did Dean know what he’d been thinking… But that Dean was right. He shoved away from Dean quickly, turning away from him and the bed to go to the dresser. He yanked the first drawer open with more force than necessary and heard Dean’s soft sigh from behind him.

He was shoving his legs into a pair of boxer briefs when he felt Dean’s arm come around his stomach and he stilled as Dean pulled him back to be flush against his chest.

“Cas, please don’t be upset. Don’t be angry with me,” Dean kissed between his shoulder blades, his fingers digging into Cas’s hip.

“I’m… I’m not… I… Just...” he shrugged Dean off and twisted away from him. He picked up Dean’s shirt from the floor and tugged it over his head. “I just need…”

“Come back to bed soon?” Dean gave him a sad smile and leaned against the dresser, watching as Cas slipped from the room with a quick nod.

He moved into the living room and threw himself down on his brand new couch. The material felt waxy, fake, and Cas thought it was a perfect mirror to himself right then.

Everything around him was new, sitting in limbo while Cas tried to figure out what the fuck he was supposed to do now. He had a man waiting in his bed, a man who he loved more than anything in the world, and he felt wrong going in to lay beside him. Dean may have been the one that left in the first place… but they’d been kids, stupid, young and reckless.

Cas was the one who was the heartbreaker now. An adult, who was fully and completely aware of the choices he’d been making. Cas closed his eyes as he realized the real problem.

Dean deserved so much better than him.


	21. Chapter 21

Dean waited for almost an hour, checking the alarm clock on Cas's nightstand close to every five seconds.

He finally couldn't take it any longer. He was worried about Cas and he was afraid for their renewed and still breakable relationship.

He got up and pulled on a pair of boxers before heading out to find his boyfriend on the couch.

"Cas? Come back to bed, please." He spoke softly while moving over to sit on the edge of the cushion next to Castiel.

Cas sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He would have thought Dean would have been asleep by now. "I think Dot is asleep...," he said after a moment. "You should probably rest too."

"I can't." Dean gently ran his hand down Cas's upper arm. "I miss my warm, cuddly pillow."

Cas smiled sadly and nodded once. "Yeah... Okay..."

"Cas," Dean sighed sadly. "Cas, I get that seeing him upset you. I'm sorry..."

"That's the thing, Dean. It shouldn't have upset me..." Cas shook his head. "I just don't even know what I'm doing anymore. And you...," he trailed off and sighed. "Come on, let's go to bed." He shoved off of the couch and stood to head towards the bedroom.

Dean slipped his hand in Cas's and squeezed gently. He let himself be led back to the bedroom before speaking again. "It's still more or less fresh, it's normal to get upset."

"I know." Cas let himself be pulled down onto the bed. Dean shifted onto his back, pulling Cas with him until Cas’s head was pressed against his chest, his right arm around Dean's stomach. They were quiet for a moment before Cas whispered, "You’re so much better off without me..."

Dean's eyes snapped open wide and he bolted up halfway. "Cas! No! Don't you dare! We've been there before. Don't make the same mistake I made!" Dean gasped.

Cas kept his head tucked down and sighed. Dean's hands were suddenly on him, rubbing down his back. Dean was saying his name softly and Cas shivered under his touch.

"Don't do that to us. Please Cas, I need you. We need you." Dean whispered desperately.

Cas tightened his grip around Dean's waist and pulled him back down, curling around him when he was settled. "I left Balthazar because something I missed, something I had wanted for so long, came back into my life again. What kind of person does that make me, Dean? Someone who is faithful only until something better comes along. How can you want that?"

"I can just hope that there's nothing better than me," Dean tried to sound lighthearted though he felt anything but. He had been in Cas's position before, long ago he had thought Cas would be better off without him.

"Dean..." Cas whispered and held on tighter. "He's so hurt and even though he's moved on… He's so angry... I can't do that to you."

"Then don't," Dean laid his arms tighter around Cas. "Don't send me off now. We're both scared and I think we both want this to work again. Don't you? I know how it feels, Cas, I know how you feel right now. I left because I felt you deserved someone better than me. And I regret it so much that I never talked to you about it before I decided I had to leave. It was the worst thing I've ever done."

"I do, Dean. And… I do want this to work. But I'm so afraid I'm going to be the one to fuck this up."

"Just like me. But we have to do it right this time. We have to talk about things and not run from them." Dean's voice was soft as he talked to Cas, his lips ghosting close to his temple.

"I just don't want to lose you again," Cas whispered, wincing when he heard his voice break.

"I don't want to lose you either. The distance is putting enough strain on us. I love you, Cas, I need you."

"I'm sorry..." Cas whispered leaning up to meet Dean's eyes. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you. You're nervous and anxious about our new take, and that's okay. Just promise I won't lose you over the same stupid mistake that I made."

"Can you just kiss me so I shut up?" Cas smiled, eyes flicking down to Dean's lips.

Dean grinned and leaned down a little to kiss Cas softly. Cas leaned into the kiss, sighing quietly. When he pulled back he laid back against Dean, running his hand over Dean's stomach. "I love you."

Dean smiled, as he played with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I love you too."

Dean set the bowl of cereal in front of his daughter and kissed her hair. "I'll be right back," he told her and took the cup of coffee he had poured. He went to the bedroom and sat on the bed.

"Good morning," he smiled and kissed Cas's cheek.

"Morning," Cas mumbled sleepily, turning his head to catch Dean's lips in a soft kiss. "I didn't hear you get up..."

"I wanted to let you sleep, you looked like you needed it. Made you coffee."

"Thank you," Cas' eyes widened and he pushed himself into a sitting position. "Now I'm never going to get rid of you."

"Just what I was shooting for..." Dean grinned and handed the cup over.

Cas took the mug, wrapping his fingers around it, and inhaled deeply before he took a sip. He smiled, letting his eyes fall closed as the caffeine washed over his tongue. "Perfect," he grinned, opening his eyes again to meet Dean's.

"You look beautiful," Dean stated with a loving smile.

Cas felt himself blush slightly and he reached over to place his mug on the nightstand. Once it was settled he reached for Dean's hands, taking both in his own. "I'm sorry about last night..."

"Shhh, don't be," Dean pleaded and kissed Cas to shut him up.

"No, Dean... really." Cas rested their foreheads together. "I acted like a jerk last night and I'm glad... I'm glad you stopped things. You were right," he looked up and met Dean's eyes, kissing him softly again before pulling back to reach for his coffee. "Don't expect me to tell you that too often."

Dean slapped Cas's thigh and smirked. "Fuck you," he laughed.

"Dean!" Cas gasped, half mocking as he stared at Dean in shock. "We don't do that, you know. We make love."

Dean laughed heartfelt. "You're terrible, I hate you. I'll have to stay at your side forever and teach you how to behave," he smirked.

A terrified shriek cut through their morning mockery and had Dean jerking upright.

"Go!" Cas shoved at him and Dean moved quickly out of the room leaving Cas to untangle himself from the covers. He slipped on a pair of pajama bottoms and then followed Dean out into the kitchen where Dotty was in a full-blown panic attack.

"What happened, Princess?" Dean asked over and over and crouched down before her, panicked as well, expecting every kind of terrible news.

Cas stood at Dean's side, his eyes flickering back and forth between the two of them. The little girl seemed fine, save the wild, panicked expression in her eyes.

"I'm - I have - I bit onto a crunchy bit," Dotty looked at her Daddy and visibly fought back tears. "Please don't be mad at me, Daddy…" Tears trailed down her cheeks as she whimpered, “I didn’t mean to do it…”

"Why would I be mad at you, sweetheart?" Dean murmured softly as he wiped her tears away.

"’Cuz I… cuz I broked my tooth," she sniffled.

Cas looked at Dean for a moment, confused before he turned back to Dotty. She had both of her hands clasped over her mouth now and she was crying, gulping in air through the cracks of her fingers. Dean was trying to soothe her and pull her hands away so he could see what she was talking about.

"I'm not mad, Dotty, but I need you to let me have a look, okay?" Her daddy coaxed her softly.

Dotty nodded hesitantly, slowly moving her hands away from her face. She had a small spot of blood on her palm and she wailed at the sight of it. Dean had to grab her small hands in his own to stop her from throwing them back over her mouth.

He looked up at Cas in a silent cry for some help with the terrified girl. Then he met her eyes. "Okay, which one, Dot. Show me which tooth you think you broke."

Dorothy whimpered as she pushed her top front tooth forward with her tongue, a small cry of pain leaving her parted lips. Cas leaned forward, fighting back the urge to smile. The tooth was loose, a few strands of bloody saliva had made their way free of her gums, and when he looked at the table, he saw a shiny red apple sitting beside her cereal bowl. A small bite was missing and a little blood tinged the exposed, fruit pink.

“Were you having an apple with your cereal, Dotty?” Cas asked quietly. He saw Dean’s eyes dart from the blood on Dotty’s tooth to the apple and then Dean turned his eyes and an understanding smile towards Cas for the briefest of moments.

Not being able to speak around the thumb her daddy had hooked over her lower teeth all the little girl could do was nod her small blond head and sniffle.

Gently Dean slipped his hands through her blond hair and leaned forward to kiss his daughter on her cute little nose with a fond chuckle, “It’s okay, little Bear. Nothing is broken! You are just such a big girl now that you’re six…and now your baby teeth are going to come loose and fall out. Then…you will have room for your new, big-girl teeth.” Dean gave her a soft reassuring smile, thinking that would end her worries.

But suddenly her eyes grew huge and moist again, as the explanation sunk in. “But, Daddy, they can’t do that! How can I eat if all my teeth fall out?!” she cried, once again near to tears.

Without hesitation, Cas stepped in quickly, “Oh no, sweetheart! They will only come out one at a time and a new tooth starts coming in right away so you can keep eating all the good food Daddy makes for you.”

Dot turned wary green eyes on her Daddy, “Really, Daddy?” she asked, looking for his parental confirmation. “Do they just come out one at a time like Cas said?”

“Yes, honey, Cas would never lie to you. When I was a little boy, my teeth came out only one at a time. Cas had the same thing when he was little like you!”

“Daddy… you were little like me? Cas, you too?” the little one stared in disbelief. When both men nodded emphatically, Dotty giggled.

Suddenly, Cas thought of the perfect way to get Dot’s mind off her loose front tooth. “Hey, Dot! How about if we go look at some old photo albums and see if we can find pictures of your Daddy and me from a long time ago?”

With a happy squeal the little girl, launched herself into his arms, “Oh…Yesss, please! Let’s go.”

Minutes later they were all piled together on the sofa poring through a stack of albums. Dean and Dorothy leaned in to look at the pictures with Cas. He smiled as he flipped through them and pushed one over to Dean. “This was the first picture your Daddy and I ever took together…” Cas smiled as he looked across the pages at it. “I think that was the fourth of July?”

Dean looked up and met Cas's eyes and smiled.

"Damn, that was ages ago." Dean grinned.

Dot looked at the picture and giggled. "You look ... funny," she decided and smirked at the two men. Cas winked at her and started fishing through the rest of the photos, looking for the ones when he was a kid.

"I'll remind her of that comment in ten years." Dean declared. He saw a photo as Cas sorted through them and reached out to take it. "Look at this beautiful boy. That was my prom date." Dean told his daughter and showed her the photo.

“Oooh!” Dotty’s eyes widened as she took in the picture, turning it this way and that before shaking her head. “Daddy, that blue is like my dolly’s baby blanket!”

Cas laughed and shook his head. “Your Dad wasn’t the only one wearing powder blue!”

"It was high fashion, come on, Cas!" Dean pouted.

Cas winked at him from over Dotty’s head and pulled out another photo. “Here I was when I was about your age…” he leaned forward, squinting at it. “Not smiling though…”

"You never showed me that. Oh damn, you looked cute. Like the kind of boy I'd want for my Princess." Dean grinned. Cas rolled his eyes and then laughed when he came across the next photo.

“Oh man,” he laughed again and handed it over to Dotty quickly. “Here’s a picture of your Daddy and Uncle Sammy....”

Dean looked over Dorothy's shoulder. "You kept that? We have to show Sammy!"

Cas nodded in agreement. Dot stared at the photos, smiling as they flipped through a few more, her tooth seemingly forgotten.

When they were finished with the photos, Dean smiled at Castiel thankfully. He hadn't imagined Dotty's first loose tooth to become a near tragedy. He couldn't remember his, but he had always thought kids were excited about them...getting to earn a visit from the Tooth Fairy and all. That his daughter would panic had never crossed his mind. He felt extremely lucky that it had happened while they were with Castiel.

Although Dot was still pushing against her loose tooth with her tongue, she seemed to have a new mindset as she did so. “Cas?” she asked softly as he was putting away the final pictures. “Can I keep this one?”

Cas looked down and saw she’d picked up a picture of him and Dean. It had been taken shortly after their wedding, a simple black and white picture where Cas had been kissing Dean’s cheek. He smiled at this and glanced up to see Dean with a matching smile.

“Sure, if you want it,” he agreed and looked to Dean for confirmation.

Dean nodded. "That's a good picture," he agreed. "Good choice, little Bear." Dean leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms above his head. "Did we have any plans for today?" Dean asked. "I feel like PJ day, how about you two?"

"I think that sounds perfect," Cas agreed and looked towards Dotty for agreement. She beamed at them and slid off the stool to race to her room for her blanket. "Should we watch a movie?"

"Minions!" Dorothy screeched in excitement and jumped onto the couch.

"Oh." Dean looked at Cas. Dorothy was so excited, Dean didn't dare tell her that not everyone shared her movie collection.

Cas laughed at their expressions and reached for the remote. "Let's check ‘on demand’..."

Dean smiled and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"Love you more," Cas whispered back and sank into the couch between the Winchesters. Dorothy was in luck, and Cas quickly found “Despicable Me” in the ‘on demand’ cable offerings and started it.

Dean slipped his arm around his boyfriend and snuggled closer while they watched the movie together.

"You're so fluffy I'm gonna die." he whispered in a low voice, rubbing his cheek against Cas's shoulder.

Cas laughed and leaned into Dean's embrace. "Do you get all of your pickup lines from animated movies?" He laughed and Dot shushed them. Cas gave Dean a wide-eyed expression and then burst into laughter.

Dean laid his hand over Cas's mouth. "Shhh… the wrath of the green-eyed tickle-monster will come upon us." He warned with a wary look at Dorothy.

"Oh no!" Cas whispered against Dean's hand and they were both rewarded with a sassy glare from Dot.

Dean had a hard time trying not to laugh. He couldn't imagine anything better than having fun with Dot and Castiel. Well, maybe he could, but he'd never push Cas into that, they had to take things slow and careful, and the physical distance between them was hard, but pretty much what they needed at the moment.

For the rest of the movie, Dean and Cas behaved, keeping silent unless Dorothy herself made a comment or asked a question. Cas relaxed against Dean, Dotty relaxed against him, and Cas had never felt more content.

After the movie, Dot requested the sequel, but Dean tapped Cas's growling stomach. "Someone hasn't had breakfast... Order in or raid your fridge? Dot and I create great fridge raiding meals."

"Let's see what we can whip up," Cas smiled and clicked on the next movie before following Dean into the kitchen.

"Oh, you and me, huh? I thought Dotty would want to help. Your couch is too comfy for that child, she gets lazy here." Dean laughed softly. "Cas ... You're so amazing. You're ... With Dotty, you're perfect."

"I bought that couch for its movie watching potential," Cas laughed and leaned forward to kiss Dean. "Dotty is pretty perfect, you’ve done such a fantastic job raising her."

"Thanks. I never thought I'd love a child that much. When her mom told me she was pregnant, I was in shock. And then when she died and I had to raise Dot all alone, that was freaking scary... So, thank you, it's good to know that I did well after all."

"You're an amazing father," Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and pulled him in closer. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too." Dean smiled happily and kissed Cas quickly.

"This week is flying by way too quickly..."

"It is." Dean sighed.

Cas leaned against Dean's chest, smiling when Dean wrapped his arms around his back. "I don't want you two to leave."

"Should I call Bobby and ask for another week?" Dean suggested.

He didn't want their time together to end either, but they both had their jobs. Castiel was taking off a lot of time because of him anyways. Though, if Bobby agreed, he and Dorothy could do tourist stuff while Cas was at work, and they could prepare him dinner to come home to …

"I don't want you to leave Bobby hanging..." Cas said slowly. "But you're more than welcome here, you know that."

"I'll talk to him, but won't promise things." Dean smiled softly.

"Okay," Cas kissed Dean on cheek then turned to open the fridge. Leaning in past the open door he began to move containers around on the shelves.

"So, what do we have to offer?" Dean asked.

"I have... eggs?" Cas shrugged and pushed aside the milk and orange juice. "Left over pizza, cheddar cheese, some pepperoni, apples and beer."

"Hmmm that sounds like a challenge." Dean admitted. "Do you have flour? We could make leftovers-pancakes."

Cas raised an eyebrow at him. "Like... pizza pancakes?"

"Yes, you gotta think creative," Dean winked, "and apple pancakes for dessert."

"I think I should be afraid," Cas laughed and reached in to grab the cheese, pepperoni and apples from the fridge. He tossed them onto the counter and then turned around to find the rest of the ingredients they would need while Dean foraged through the cabinets for a mixing bowl.

"Wait, you're gonna run out on us because of the way we eat?" Dean asked in mock-shock.

Cas rolled his eyes and tossed him the large, Tupperware container of flour. "I think it would take a bit more than food poisoning to get rid of me now.”

Dean caught the container and exhaled exaggeratingly relieved. "I'll pay for a fancy dinner if it turns out bad."

"Shut up, kiss me, and make me some damn breakfast," Cas laughed and grabbed Dean's wrist, tugging him closer. Dean grinned and planted a wet kiss on Cas's cheek.

Cas smiled and turned his head, catching Dean's lips in a quick kiss before he returned his attention to the task at hand. "Alright, let's get started..." He bent down to pull a frying pan from the stove drawer and placed it on the stovetop.

Under Dean's direction -- because, let's face it, Cas had never been the best at preparing any kind of real meal -- they made cheddar and pepperoni 'pancakes' and after Cas had rooted around in the freezer and found a frozen pie crust, they opted to make a pie instead of the apple pancakes. Dot was more than happy with their 'brunch creations' and Cas had to admit that they weren't half bad.

It took them one more movie before Dorothy finally declared she was bored and the three of them chose to get dressed in comfortable clothes and head to Central Park for an afternoon visit.

When they reached the magnificent park, Dot bounced along happily a few feet ahead of them with a small butterfly net she'd convinced her Dad to buy for her from a street vendor. When Cas took Dean's hand as they were walking down the path, Cas didn't think that life could get any sweeter than this.


	22. Chapter 22

Bobby was waiting for them when their plane landed. Dean smiled at him. Even if his stomach still reminded him that he had only minutes ago been up in the air, the memories of their time with Cas in New York were too strong to let him get in a bad mood.

"Uncle Bobby!" Dorothy stormed off once she's seen him and jumped up into Bobby's arms. "Look! Look!" She grinned and pushed her tongue through her new and first tooth gap.

"Oh my goodness! You went away as a little princess and came back all grown up!" Bobby squeezed her gently and gave Dean a huge grin over the top of her head. "Welcome back, stranger."

"Hey, Bobby," Dean smiled happily, pushing the cart with their luggage. "Thank you so much for the time off."

"Any time, kid," Bobby slapped him on the shoulder and then shifted Dot onto his hip. "Did you have fun in New York, Dotty?"

"Yes!" the girl gasped. "Cas took us lots of places and there's a whole store all about M&Ms and I could mix all the colors I wanted and we been to the park. And yesterday Cas took us to the stattoo of liberty. And the houses are huge! Huger than in Kansas City!"

"Wow!" Bobby widened his eyes, his entire face showing her how impressed he was. "Even bigger than my house?"

"Yes! Huger than any house I've ever seen!" She gasped back.

"We even went up to the top of the Empire State Building," Dean added.

“Now that is impressive,” Bobby nodded his head and gave Dean a wink over his shoulder. “What do you say, princess? Do you want to come and help Uncle Bobby get some lunch ready when we get back home?”

"Yes!" Dot gasped. Then she broke into a giggle. "Daddy and Cas invented pizza pancakes."

“Oh… did they?” Bobby laughed and buckled Dorothy into her seat in the car once they reached it. “Pizza pancakes, huh? That sounds kind of scary to me… Were they any good?”

"They were brilliant, I'm surprised no one made them a major thing years ago," Dean grinned.

“Yeah, I can’t imagine why not…” Bobby chuckled and rolled his eyes, waiting for Dean to get into the car before he started it up. “Well, Dotty, we’ll make something a bit more traditional for lunch… leave the crazy concoctions to your Daddy and Cas. That okay with you?”

"What's conc- conc-"

"Concoctions," Dean helped out.

"Yes, that one..." Dorothy agreed.

“It means a crazy mixture of things,” Bobby answered and glanced over his shoulder to give her a small smile. “A weird combination of things. Does that make sense?”

"Yes, it does. Daddy does that a lot, it's not always bad," Dorothy explained. "But I like regular food."

“Well that’s what we’ll do. How about some good, old-fashioned grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup?” Bobby asked and Dotty replied with a “Yum!” Bobby turned to look at Dean and shook his head. “Pizza pancakes? Couldn’t decide if you wanted breakfast or lunch?”

"No, we just used what the fridge offered because we didn't feel like going out, and Dot needed home-made meals too, not only take-out " Dean grinned.

“Pizza pancakes…” Bobby shook his head. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.” Dean laughed his agreement and they drove the rest of the way home talking about the things Dot saw in New York.

Dot was on her knees on Dean's bed, bouncing while her Dad unpacked their suitcases.

"Can I play with Mattie tomorrow and show him the tooth gap and tell him all about New York?" she asked and flopped onto her back.

"We'll call them tomorrow and see if they're at home, okay?" Dean asked sorting a stack of clothes into his dresser drawers.

"Okay..." Dot rolled onto her stomach.

Sorting out his toiletry bag, Dean held up the tiny bag they had put Dorothy's tooth in.

Since it had come out their last day in New York and their flight had been at night, they hadn't had the chance to put it under the pillow for the tooth fairy.

"So? Under the pillow tonight?" Dean asked his daughter.

"Daddy? I don't want the tooth fairy to take it away," Dorothy replied sitting up. 

"But she's not just taking it, she's leaving you something in exchange."

"No. I don't want that. I would like to give it to Mom." Dot looked at her father with her big green eyes. "Don't you think Mom would like to have it?" 

Dean sat down next to her and put his arm around her. "Princess, I think that's a wonderful idea. Your Mom would definitely love it if you give her your first baby tooth." He tugged her to his side and kissed the top of her head.

"Can we bring it to her later, before the tooth fairy finds it?" Dot wrapped her arms around Dean's neck.

"Yes, Little Bear, we can. Before dinner? Sound good?" Dean smiled at her.

"Yes!" she smiled happily.

They spent the rest of the day, after unpacking, with Dean catching up on laundry and Dorothy catching up on lost time with the dolls she’d left at home. Dean leaned against the doorway to Dotty’s room, a small smile on his face as he watched her arrange each doll and stuffed animal with care around her play table, telling them softly that they ‘better have washed their hands because dinner was coming soon’. 

“Hey, Little Bear,” Dean interrupted after she sat the last animal in its place and she looked up with a smile. “I have supper almost ready but before I put it in the oven… do you want to help me get Mommy’s box out?” 

Dorothy nodded quickly and jumped up from the floor yanking her bear from her bed and then taking Dean’s proffered hand. Dean locked up the house and stopped at the small shed to grab a trowel and together they walked the short distance to the graveyard down the road. Dorothy chatted about her animals, the things that they did while they were in New York with Cas and Dean listened, adding in his gasps and questions at the appropriate times. 

When they reached the graveyard, they both fell silent and it hurt Dean’s heart to wonder what his daughter was thinking while they walked through the rows of markers. When they reached Ashleigh’s stone, Dorothy released Dean’s hand and walked over to the stone, pressing a kiss to the top of it. 

“Hello, Mommy,” she said. “Daddy and I have something for you!”

Dot hugged her bear tight to her chest and stepped back while Dean dug up the little box they had carefully buried in front of the gravestone, just beneath the grassy surface of Ashleigh's grave. The pretty pink fiberglass case already contained a blond curl from Dotty’s first haircut, and her last pacifier, and the drawing she had done for Mother's Day the year before.

"Okay, Princess, here we go," Dean smiled and stood up from his kneeling position, holding the box in his hands. "Got your tooth?"

Dorothy nodded and opened her little, sweaty fist. Dean popped open the latch and opened the lid to let his daughter slip the little bag and tooth inside.

"I lost that at Cas's, Mommy. Cas is Daddy's boyfriend, but actually he's old as Daddy, so he should be his man-friend. He makes Daddy happy and they kiss a lot." Dorothy crunched her face into a disgusted expression at this. "He lives far away though… we had to fly in an airplane to go to his house. Daddy doesn't like flying. It scares him but I held his hand, don’t worry… Cas lives in New York and there is a whole shop full of M and Ms! And there's shops only for Disney princesses and stuff, or only for Legos... And the houses are so big! More big than in Kansas City! I want Cas to be my second daddy and to live with us, he's very nice and he does lots of daddy-things." Dorothy told her mother. Dean smiled softly and just let her ramble on, knowing she needed this moment.

Castiel shifted in his seat, eyes glancing towards his closed office door as the screen loaded on the computer monitor before him. It had been two weeks since Dean and Dorothy had left him to go back home to Kansas and it hadn’t taken Cas long to realize just how lonely being in New York was with no one to come home to.

He couldn’t remember feeling this lonely while he was with Balthazar… They had their friends--though, now Cas realized they were Balt’s friends-- but even when Cas was sitting at the apartment, reading or catching up on Netflix, he’d never felt alone. Lately, he’d been getting to work on time, taking his time staying on the clock until there was no other reason for him to stay there, before going home to eat, shower, and go to bed, even if it was only nine at night. 

Cas heard Hannah talking from on the other side of the door and he froze, fingers twitching against the computer mouse, ready to minimize the screen if he needed to. The door, however, stayed closed and he realized that she was on the phone. 

He chuckled softly. There was no reason to be nervous, no reason to hide. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. 

The screen before him loaded and he quickly entered ‘Kansas’ into the search bar, tapping his fingers against the mouse while he waited for the list to load. He chewed on his lower lip until the list loaded, then his heart gave a skip. 

There was a CEO position available in Topeka. Cas didn’t bother to fight back the grin that spread across his face as he read the job description. Without thinking any more about it, Cas quickly clicked on the hyperlink and submitted his resume and the cover letter he’d already updated. 

Cas’ stomach was flipping around nervously as he exited out of the screens and leaned back. Now all he had to do was wait… and try not to let any of his employees catch wind of him contemplating leaving… and to actually mention the idea to Dean… 

He probably should have done that first, come to think about it… He didn’t really think that Dean would necessarily have a problem with him moving back to Kansas, the idea of being closer to Dean and Dot his heart doing a flip or two in his chest. But he didn’t know just what that would entail. He didn’t think that moving in together would be a good thing to suggest… Although, if he were honest, Cas would agree to it in a second. 

He just didn’t want to push Dean into something he wasn’t ready for. He didn’t want to fuck this up.

At least this way, if Dean didn’t seem as receptive to the idea, Cas wouldn’t have to accept the position-- he didn’t even know if he would be offered it, so it was pointless to worry that far ahead. If Dean was totally freaked out about it, Cas could just pretend he never even applied. The beeping of his phone was a welcome distraction from the worrisome thoughts now invading his mind about pushing Dean and their relationship too far, too quickly.

Dean sorted through the mail as he was walking back into the house. He smiled as he glanced into the living room to see his daughter happily drawing at the coffee table. He went to the kitchen and threw away the advertisements and grabbing some soda and glasses headed back to the living room.

"Hi, Daddy!" Dot greeted him excitedly as he made his way across the carpet to sit on the couch behind her. "I'm drawing Cas a picture!"

 

"Yeah? What's it gonna be, pumpkin?" Dean asked while he opened the first envelope.

"It's us at the M and M store," she smiled happily and leaned back so Dean could look at her picture. "I put in the blue M and Ms ‘cuz those were Cas's favorites."

“Oh! I bet he'll try to eat that picture. But why does only Cas get M and Ms?" Dean asked looking over her shoulder.

"I haven't drawed the rest yet, Daddy!" his daughter explained patiently and returned to the picture, picking up a new colored crayon. "Patience is a vern-choo, remember?"

"You're right, it is. I just thought you meant you were only putting in blue ones." He went back to opening more envelopes, putting aside the bills to pay them later. "Oh, look at that, Dot… you got mail too!" He said opening the last one.

"From who!?" She dropped the crayon and turned around to climb up into her Dad's lap.

"The school... It's a list of all the supplies you'll need for First Grade," Dean explained and handed her the letter.

“Can you read it to me?” Dorothy asked.

“But you can read, you should be practicing anyway,” Dean prompted.

Dorothy pouted but went ahead and read it loudly, getting her Dad’s help whenever she got stuck. When she was done reading the list, Dean nodded and took it back to scan it over once more before folding it. 

“Well... “ he said, tucking the page in his pocket. “I think it’s time to go shopping!”

They already had most of Dorothy’s school supplies in their cart and Dean was checking the list again when the girl ran up and tugged at his shirt.

“Daddy! Can I have a new backpack? Please?”

“Princess, your backpack is fine, we only bought it a year ago, and it’s still in perfect shape.” Dean told her calmly.

“But this one has Minions on it!” Dot pouted.

“How about a new lunchbox instead? I bet there are lunchboxes with Minions on them.” Dean suggested. At least his daughter didn’t want to have everything ‘Frozen’ like some of the girls in her class… He’d listened to a week of ‘Let it Go’ during bath time and that had been more than enough for both of them.

Dot was just about to answer when he had to cut her off because his phone rang, he picked up the call grinning, “Cas, hey, Baby… How are you?”

 _“Hey!”_ Cas answered back, a wide smile in his voice. _“What are you guys doing?”_

"We're doing some Back-to-School shopping. What are you doing?"

 _“Oh! That sounds like fun,_ ” Cas chuckled. _“Not much… Just leaving work. I want to run something by you later, probably once Dot is sleeping or something so we can talk about it? It’s just work stuff, nothing… nothing bad or anything.”_

"Uh, sure," Dean replied slightly confused as to why Cas would run work stuff by him. "Around half past eight then?"

 _“Okay, sounds good. I’ll talk to you then,”_ Cas answered. _“Love you!”_

"Love you too." Dean smiled "Talk to you later. Oh, hang on."

"Cas!" She beamed when her Dad finally surrendered to her sad puppy eyes and handed her the phone.

 _“Hey, Dotty!”_ Cas replied. _“How are you doing? Are you excited to be getting ready to go back to school?”_

"Yes!" She gasped. "I'll be in First Grade then. Daddy will get me a new lunchbox. I wanted a new backpack, but Daddy said ‘no’."

_“Ah, well… Sometimes Daddy knows best, huh?”_

Dot blinked confused, then looked at her dad with a slight mixture of pouting and disappointment. “Yeah, maybe.” she agreed reluctantly with Cas.

_“Well, if I were you… I would work on getting a cool lunch box and pencil case… I bet your Daddy would let you get any one you chose!”_

“Oh! Oh yes! Pencil case! I want one!” Dotty beamed. Dean rolled his eyes and took the phone from her.

“Thanks, Cas, you’re a big help,” he teased.

_“That’s why you keep me around,” Cas laughed. “Well, that and my hot body.”_

“Sure! I’ll talk to you later …” Dean grinned. Dean hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket, turning his attention back to Dorothy who was smiling at him. 

“Cas said I should ask for a lunch box and a pencil case, Daddy,” she nodded matter-of-factly and Dean smiled. 

“He did, did he?” he laughed, before helping his little one climb up into the cart seat so he could push them both. “Well, I think we could probably make that happen…”

“You’re the best, Daddy!” Dorothy leaned her head against his chest, snuggling into him as he walked and Dean laughed in response. 

“Love you, Little Bear.”

“Love you too, Papa Bear!”

Castiel sighed, throwing himself down onto the couch near his glass of wine, his phone sitting beside it on the coffee table. He checked the ringer level again, internally rolling his eyes at the fact that he’d checked the sound at least four times already. At this rate, he would be too busy fucking with the phone and end up missing Dean’s call anyways.

He toed off his shoes and raised his legs to cross his ankles comfortably on the coffee table, taking a sip of his wine and looking around the room. His stomach was knotted-- he honestly had no idea what Dean’s response was going to be… The other man had said he’d missed having Cas around, their relationship so far was working, and Cas was happy with that fact. But… 

What if Dean thought Cas was pushing too hard by suggesting they live together? Or, if Cas planned on living with his Dad and didn’t even bring up the option of living together, would Dean be offended or think that Cas didn’t want to live with him? And… Did Cas want to live with him? He loved being around Dean, enjoyed Dotty’s company, and had never felt more comfortable in his own home than when he had the two of them here. But this was a huge step, a leap even, and for a relationship that was technically just starting out….

Fuck, he didn’t even know if he was getting this job and he was already feeling sick over it. 

He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to come up with what he was going to say to Dean, when the phone rang. He jumped, nearly sloshing his wine on himself.

“Hey,” he said as he leaned forward to put his wine down. 

“Hello, Love, sorry it’s a bit later than I’d hoped, pretty hard to get Dot to sleep. First, she was so excited about all her new school stuff, and then she was asking why she couldn’t talk to you too, wanted to know if we had secrets.”

“Oh!” Cas laughed, leaning his head back onto the couch and letting his eyes fall closed as Dean’s voice washed over him. “No, that’s okay. I understand. What did you tell her when she thought we were keeping secrets?”

“I told her that we were making evil plans on how to make her life horrible,” Dean answered jokingly.

Cas chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m sure she appreciated the sarcasm, Dean.” Cas could picture Dean laughing on the other end, laying out on his bed with his ankles crossed while he talked on the phone. 

“Oh, I’ll just wait for her to get old enough and then I’ll ask if I can listen in on phone calls she’s making with her boyfriend,” Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, like that will happen.” Cas rolled his eyes. “If she’s anything like you were…”

“What? Just giving it back to her…”

“You’re going to have your hands full,” Cas said honestly, and the silence on the other end for a moment told him that Dean agreed. “So… I kind of wanted to talk to you…”

“Yeah, you kind of suggested that earlier,” Dean agreed. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Well…” Cas took a deep breath and shifted his position on the couch, pulling his knees up closer to his chest. “So, I was just kind of… looking at my options and stuff, because it’s good to have options, right? And I was searching through the open positions for my hospital on a… national level… and there was a CEO position available at another location... in Topeka…”

“In Topeka, Kansas?” Dean asked surprised, almost sounding excited.

“Umm... “ Cas started, a nervous laugh bubbling out of him. “Yeah, Topeka, Kansas… So… I mean, it’s half an hour away from Lawrence if the traffic is good and all… but… I, uh, was… well, no… I kind of applied for it just to see what they said…”

“You’d live a lot damn closer, I’m so crossing my fingers, Cas! That would be amazing.” Dean replied his smile clearly audible in his voice.

“Really?” Cas breathed out in surprised relief, dropping his legs back to the floor so he could sit on the edge of the couch. “You really mean that? You don’t think I’m crazy for wanting to come back to Kansas so soon?”

“Cas? Are you crazy? Of course I want you to live closer to us! That would be really, really great!”

“Oh, good,” Cas smiled and felt his stomach flip again. “I was worried I would freak you out… that you would think I was moving too fast or something like that.”

“You’re too cute! I don’t think you’re moving things along too fast. I feel honored that you’d consider getting yourself transferred to Kansas.”

“Well… After you and Dotty left I realized how lonely I was without you two. So, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to look. I should know by the end of September if I’m being considered. It will take a few months if they decide to transfer me but… I would be so happy if they did.”

“So would I… and Dotty, too. How long would a few months be? If they transferred you, could we have Christmas together with you actually living here in Kansas?” Dean wanted to know.

“I mean… yeah! I would hope so… I’m not really familiar with transfers this high up, but when we have floor staff and therapists transfer it’s pretty quick, just the standard two weeks. Supervisors take two months usually, to assist in training periods if needed and to make sure everything is closed out. I would think that would be similar for me…”

“That would be great. Your Dad would be pretty happy too if you got the position, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, he would be happy to have me back home,” Cas was quiet for a moment. “I suppose… I should tell him, make sure he wouldn’t mind if I stayed with him.” He trailed off again, holding his breath waiting for Dean’s reply.

“Oh… you’d consider moving to Lawrence?” Dean asked.

Cas stiffened and he replayed the conversation quickly in his mind. “Oh… well, I mean, like I said it’s only a half hour to the hospital so…”

“True, you did.” Dean agreed. “So, um … Lawrence … You know … there’s this single dad and his daughter who would happily offer to have you live with them...,” it was practically audible that he was worrying his bottom lip. “If you … if you wanted to, that is... I mean … if you’re allowed to think you’re crazy for wondering if you might be moving things too fast, I should be allowed that too.”

Cas didn’t bother to fight the smile that broke out across his face. “I think that is a pretty good idea… I’ll have to consider it.” He could practically feel Dean beaming back at him. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Cas.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are so sorry we missed Wednesday this week! It has just been a very, very busy week for us and sometimes, real life just gets in the way :( BUT! We hope you enjoy our newest chapter! <3 Dani & Bibi

Dorothy pushed her math worksheet over to Dean, letting him check it for her. “Is it right?” she asked looking up at him with big eyes.

Dean scanned the sheet then pushed it back over. “Yes, Little Bear, very good. So, what’s next?”

“Reading, of course...” Dot sighed dramatically, which made Dean laugh. She didn’t hate reading as much as she pretended, but according to her classmates, reading was hard, so she went along with their opinion. She had just put away her math sheet when the phone rang and she was ready to stand up and get it.

“No, no, no, homework, Princess. I’ll get it.” Dean stood up and ruffled her hair. “Get your Reading book and start practicing. We’ll read together later, okay?”

“Okay Daddy.” the girl pouted and sat back down.

Dean chuckled and answered the phone, pressing it to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hey, Jerk,” Sam laughed on the other end. “Guess what?!”

“Hey, Bitch, I guess you and your niece have a secret plan to keep her from doing her homework.” Dean laughed.

“Oh no, you caught on to that didn’t you?” Sam laughed, excitement flooding through his voice. “I did it, Dean. I asked her.”

“You did? Oh God, Sammy, what did she say? She said ‘yes’, didn’t she?” Dean instantly got infected by his brother’s excitement.

“Yes! I mean, of course she did… but I was so scared. Couldn’t even get all the freaking words out and then she was laughing at me and I almost threw up… but she said ‘yes!’ I’m getting married Dean!”

“No way! Lucky you it was only ‘almost’ on the vomiting, or that would have been the story I’d have to tell my future nieces or nephews every time I saw them.”

“Shut up,” Sam laughed and Dean could picture his brother’s face, all teeth and dimples. “I can’t believe it, Dean… Hey! Will you be my best man?”

“Are you kidding? Sammy, of course! Of course I will! I would be your Maid of Honor if you wanted that.” Dean chuckled.

“Wouldn’t want you to show me up by looking prettier than me,” Sam snorted and sighed happily. “I’m getting married. I’m getting freaking married. I don’t even think I need to ask, but Dotty will be our flower girl, right? They still have those, right?” 

“Yes, Sam, flower girls are still a thing. Hang on, I’ll get her so you can ask her yourself.” Dean put the phone aside and went to the living room. “Princess? Homework break, your Uncle Sammy needs you on urgent business.”

His little daughter gasped and bolted up from her chair and ran to the phone.

“Yes?” she asked out of breath.

“Hey, Dotty!” Sam said quickly. “So our super, secret mission was a success! Jessica and I are getting married!”

“You are?!” Dot gasped, jumping up and down as she clutched the phone. “Oh my goodness! Jess is going to be so pretty in a white dress!”

“Yes, she will!” Sam agreed. “And so will you… because, I’m hoping, you’ll want to be our flower girl.”

“Ooooh!” she screamed, turning quickly to Dean. “Uncle Sammy wants me to be his flower girl! I can, right?”

“Yes, Little Bear. Of course you can! Uncle Sammy needs the prettiest and most amazing Flower Girl in the whole wide world.” Dean agreed. 

“Daddy said I could!” she breathed out, her attention focused back on the phone and her Uncle Sammy. “When is it? Are you getting married soon?”

“We haven’t decided on a date yet,” Sam chuckled, happy that his little niece was excited. “But, once we do? You’ll be the first to know!”

Dean reached for the phone and pressed the speaker option. “You two and your secrets, I want to know what you’re talking about. I think as Best Man I have a right to!”

“Big brothers always want to know everything!” Sam sighed and Dean could practically see him rolling his eyes. 

“So do big Daddies!” Dotty agreed, still talking into the phone even though it was on the speaker mode. 

Dean laughed and shook his head. “So, did you give Jess a nice ring?”

Sam made a mock offended noise and Dorothy giggled. “Can I tell him, Uncle Sammy?”

“I suppose you can, now that the mission has been completed.”

“Daddy! Uncle Sammy got a ring with three diamonds in it! And I swear it was as big as this!” She held up her hand, linking her thumb and forefinger to show a circle. 

“This big?” Dean asked with wide eyes. “Wow! And three diamonds? That must be a very nice ring!”

“Well, as much as I love my big brother judging me over rings,” Sam laughed softly, letting Dean know he was joking. “I have to give up the phone so Jess can call her parents and let them know. Then I suppose I should call ours…”

“Tell Jess I said hi and that I can’t wait to see her in her pretty dress or be her flower girl!” Dotty called out as Dean collected the phone from her to say his goodbye. 

Dean undid the speaker mode and told Dorothy that he’d be right with her to finish helping with homework. “Tell Jess we love her, and congratulations. And if you need anything, just call, little brother.”

“You know I will. Love you guys, talk to you soon.”

“Talk to you soon, bro.” Dean smiled and finally hung up the phone.

When Dean walked back into the living room, Dot was back in her seat, leaning over her writing worksheet and concentrating on writing out the simple words three times in their designated rows. Dean leaned over her and watched as she carefully printed out each word, saying each letter as she wrote it and then repeating the word once it was written. 

He smiled softly and sat back down next to her. He was glad his work allowed him to be there for his daughter this much and that it was only the two of them, so he didn’t have to look after any other children, but concentrate on her.

“I have two more words!” Dorothy showed Dean her paper, smiling up at him. “I have ten words for writing practice this week, Daddy. Do my letters look okay?”

“Oh, I think they look very nice. Your stick letters are getting much straighter and your circle letters are nice and round,” Dean complimented her, happy to see the accomplished smile on her face.

“Oh, Daddy! I will get another Smiley Face sticker from my teacher!” Dotty grinned, writing the next work slowly, falling back into concentrating on her words. Dean smiled and watched her until she was done and it was time for him to start dinner.

Cas bubbled with excitement and itched to call Dean and tell him the news. He ate dinner, actually taking his time making something instead of ordering out, and sighed when he realized he’d only wasted an hour and a half total. Although he knew he could call Dean whenever, he wanted to wait until Dot was in bed and settled so that they wouldn’t get interrupted.

By the time it hit 9pm, Cas was about ready to explode. He dialed Dean quickly and sank back into the pillows of his bed, phone pressed against his ear. 

Dean picked up the phone on the second ring, already grinning as he looked at the caller ID. “Hey Baby! How’re you doing?” he asked, smiling widely.

“Good!” Cas smiled back, closing his eyes as he pictured Dean on the other end. “Better now that I’m talking to you.”

“I love it when you say that,” Dean chuckled. “I have news.” he beamed.

“Oh!” Cas said and cleared his throat. “Okay, go ahead. I have news too, but you first.”

“Wait, you too? Why me first? You go first.” Dean teased.

Cas chuckled and shook his head, “No, no. You go ahead. You said it first so you get to go first. Hit me. What’s your news?”

“Remember when you were here for Dot’s birthday? Sam took Dot on this super-secret mission? Well, guess what? They were buying an engagement ring, and he finally asked Jessica today. Lil’ Sammy’s gonna get married!”

“Really?” Cas’ eyes widened slightly and he smiled. “Good for him! I really, really enjoyed Jess. They seemed really good together. I’m happy for him!”

“He wants me to be his Best Man, and Dot’s gonna be their Flower Girl. That girl’s sooo excited. I bet she’ll be asking me every day now how long until the wedding.” Dean laughed.

“Oh, I’m sure! She’s going to look so grown up in a flower-girl dress,” Cas smiled as he pictured it. “I would love to see that!”

“Oh, you will! I’ll refuse to be Best Man if I can’t bring you! Oh… and he better invite you personally and not have you be my ‘plus one’!” Dean insisted.

Cas grinned, feeling the slight heat rush to his cheeks. “Well, I don’t know… maybe you had another hot date in mind.”

“There’s no hotter date than you.” Dean replied simply.

“God, I love you.”

“You may call me ‘Dean’. And I love you too. So … What’s your news?” Dean prompted.

“Well… I heard back from the hospital in Topeka…” he trailed off, falling silent and smirking when he heard the soft intake of breath on the other end of the line. 

“Yes…?” Dean finally coaxed when Cas left him hanging too long.

“They want me to come in for an interview on October 8th!”

“Yessss!! That’s good… that’s great!” Dean beamed. He knew of course that this was nothing final, but it was a huge first step in the right direction. “So … you only gonna fly in for the interview that one day or do I get to have my favorite pillow?”

“Well, I figured I would take two days off. The interview in on Monday, so I’ll have to fly back on Tuesday morning but… I could probably find a reasonable flight out on Friday night after work if someone didn’t mind me taking up space in their home for a long weekend…”

“Yeah, right, they’d totally mind… that’s why they offered to have you move in with them if you got the job.”

“Dean… I don’t want to get my hopes up but… Can you imagine if they actually offered me the job?”

“It will be a super huge step for us, Cas, if you get the job. I’m aware of that, but right now I feel so happy… if I was a kid I’d be jumping up and down on the damned mattress.” Dean laughed.

“I know, Dean, I know,” Cas agreed, biting on his lower lip. “Do you want to know what I would love the most?”

“Tell me.”

“Just thinking about getting to eat dinner every night with you and Dot , waking up on the weekends and watching cartoons with her before breakfast, and falling asleep in your arms every night…”

“I can’t wait for that. I’d love to have dinner ready for you when you come home. I’d love to watch you play with Dotty, to have you fall asleep in my arms.”

“I really hope I get this job,” Cas whispered. 

“Me too, Baby.” Dean whispered back. 

“So,” Cas dropped his voice lower, trying to hide the amusement in his voice. “What are you wearing?”

“I am not wearing socks. And I am not wearing a shirt.” Dean teased.

“No socks? Dean! You really know how to turn a guy on.” Cas chuckled, smiling as he rolled to his side, pulling one of the pillows closer to his chest. 

“I know, right? I’m just so good at this,” Dean chuckled. “So… actually, I’m just sitting here with a towel around my waist, and my hair still slightly wet from the shower I took before you called.”

“You’re pulling my leg,” Cas said, but felt the heat rising in his body as he pictured it. 

“Oh, I’d love to, but you’re living too far away…” Dean laughed hoping Castiel would get his joke. “Why would I pull your leg, Cas? I wish you’d already have that job, so you’d be right here and see that I’m telling the truth.”

“I wish I was right there with you too,” Cas agreed and then with a smirk added, “You probably wouldn’t be wearing that towel anymore.”

“Oh! Oh, that’s true. Wait, let me get there.” Dean laid the phone on his bed and removed the towel, then sat back against the headboard more comfortably and pressed the phone to his ear again. “So, what are you wearing?”

“Jesus,” Cas replied, rolling back onto his back. “I’m wearing my sleep pants… nothing else.”

“If you were here and it was the night after your first day on the new job, I’d have you wear some doctor outfit and wait for you to examine me,” Dean husked.

Cas chuckled once, “Well, it would be good for me to only play Doctor... Not sure I could survive doing the real thing. But… Yeah, I wouldn’t mind doing that at all.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t. Maybe I’ll start shopping for that set of scrubs now, you know, just in case...”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” Cas smirked feeling his body respond to thinking about Dean spread out before him, completely willing and pliant to his touch. 

“Isn’t it warm in your sleep pants?” Dean asked.

“So concerned for my well-being…” Cas answered, but shifted his hips to allow himself to shimmy out of the pants. “But I will admit, feels much cooler without them…”

Dean licked his lips at the thought. “Yeah … being a dad does make you incredibly concerned for everyone’s well-being.”

“Well, how about we focus on your well-being? Wish I was there so I could take care of you…”

“Oh, yeah, take care of my well-being. You’ll be here soon … at least for the interview...” Dean sighed low.

“As much as I can’t wait to see Dotty… I think one of those nights she should see her Uncle Bobby… Then I can show you just how well I can take care of you.”

“She’ll hate us, but I have to agree.”

“Dean… what I wouldn’t give to be able to touch you right now…”

Dean sighed. “Same here, Cas. Miss you. You know … I might just not tell her you’re coming and have her sleep at Bobby’s that Friday night, and then you can be a big surprise when we go to pick her up on Saturday. I just really can’t wait to touch you.”

“Us… surprising her in the morning… I think that sounds like a great idea...” Cas smiled and reached over to flick off the table lamp. “What would you do to me if I was there with you?

“I -” Dean licked his lips thinking, dreaming, “I’d probably start undressing you at the front door. Kissing you, battling with our tongues hungrily. You’d probably still be wearing your office clothes, right? So I’d take my time with the buttons.”

“Mmm,” Cas responded, letting his fingertips ghost down his chest as he imagined Dean’s would. “Then what?”

“Then I’d slip the shirt off your shoulders tracing over all the freed skin with my fingertips. Probably would kiss down along your chest to get on my knees. Since we’d have the house to ourselves …” Dean trailed off, his fingers wandering over his thigh smoothly. “Yeah, haven’t done that for a while, I’d suck you down right there, right behind the front door.”

“Oh fuck,” Cas murmured, hand trailing down his treasure trail to find himself already hard at Dean’s words. “God, and you’d look so fucking hot like that too, Dean… Pressing me back against the door, my hands tangled in your hair…”

Dean exhaled slowly. “Damn, Cas, I’d tease you with my tongue until you couldn’t take it and you’d just go ahead and fuck my mouth.” Dean moaned, squeezing his thigh to keep himself from touching his hardness just yet.

Cas groaned, brushing his fingers against his length, shivering at the touch. “Fuck, yeah…” he whispered, swallowing hard. “You have such a pretty mouth too, Dean… And I would do it, I would fuck your mouth until I was almost there… but I wouldn’t want to finish, not like that, not that soon. I’d get you back on your feet and return the favor first… get you just as hard, just as wanting…”

Dean let his thumb brush just along the base, breathing deeply. “Oh … oh you would? and what would you do when you had me there?”

“I would undress you slowly, run my hands down your thighs. Then I would tease you, slowly pressing my fingers inside of you as I sucked you down, nice and slow.” Cas’ voice was low and he let his hand trail over his swollen flesh, biting back the soft moan from escaping.

“Oh fuck,” Dean moaned and slid down the headboard to finally lie down.

“Would you like that Dean? Me working my fingers inside of you, my mouth around you?” Cas whispered, stroking himself and smiling at the sound that came from Dean’s throat on the other end. 

“God, Cas, you know I would.” Dean rolled onto his side and retrieved the lube from his nightstand.

Cas heard the unmistakable clicking sound of a cap and groaned. “Dean… Fuck, I wish it was my hand on you right now.”

“Yeah .. want it to be yours so much.” Dean replied biting his bottom lip.

“I would be touching you all over, Dean… Love the way you feel beneath me, the way your skin feels, the noises you make when I touch you… ”

Dean put his feet flat on the bed and reached his lubed fingers between his legs. “Your hands, they’re so soft, not rough like mine,” Dean moaned.

“Christ, Dean, the fucking sounds you make…” Cas groaned, twisting his wrist around himself. “What are you doing right now? Are you touching yourself too, wishing it was me?”

“Yes… I am. I wish it was your finger going inside me right now.” Dean gasped at the light pain from first penetration.

“Oh fuck, Dean…” Cas groaned, the sounds Dean was making sending shivers down his spine and had his body twitching in response. He tightened his grip, moving his own hand faster and groaned again. “Want that too… Would open you up nice and slow, kiss you all over, make you practically beg for it, beg for me.”

"Cas!" Dean groaned, his boyfriend's words and noises causing him to shudder with the desperate wish for the real thing. He moved his finger deeper, and squeezed his eyes shut. "Yes, Cas, make me beg for your dick."

“Dean,” Cas moaned, rolling his hips up, fucking his fist. “Come on, Dean… You know you want it, have me moving inside of you, fucking that tight ass of yours until you can barely breathe. Want you so bad, Dean, I can almost taste it.”

 

Dean could barely breathe, he whimpered at Cas's teasing words. He added another finger. "Cas, God, Cas, you know I do. Yes, I want you so bad."

“Come on, Dean,” Cas whispered, voice cracking as he jacked himself faster. “So close, Dean… so close thinking about being inside of you… You close too, baby?”

Dean moved so he could rub his fingers over his prostate, a barely contained whine leaving his mouth. "I - I wish I could feel you - come inside me," he gasped "I ... Yes." He took the phone from his ear and laid it on the pillow beside him and changed to speaker mode. The now free hand wrapped around his hard length while the other hand kept thrusting. "So close! Cas, need you. Need you so bad."

“Dean,” Cas panted, screwing his eyes shut as he twisted his wrist, changing the pressure of his hand. He moaned, losing himself into the soft noises coming from the other end of the phone, knowing Dean was on the other end, touching himself, thinking of Cas while he did it. His entire body was trembling, and he moaned Dean’s name again. “Come with me, Dean…”

Dean was panting now, using both his hands on himself, wishing badly it was Cas touching him. "Yes…" he whispered hoarsely at Cas's request.

Cas’s breath hitched and he tightened his grip, feeling the white-hot heat spreading through his lower body. “Dean…” Cas groaned his name once before coming with a cry and spilling all over his stomach and hand. 

Dean bit his lower lip hard to rein in his moan as he heard the unmistakable sound of Cas coming on the other end of the call. It sent him over the edge as well.

When Cas’s high eased down, he laid there, panting softly and listening to Dean’s uneven breathing as well. He smiled, leaning his ear to the phone. “Even though I wish I was there,” he started, exhaling slowly. “That was pretty good.”

"Yeah. Not as good as the real thing, but good." Dean replied, chuckling appreciatively and rolling onto his side.

Cas smiled and gave himself another minute to calm his breathing and his racing heart before he slipped off of the bed and went into the bathroom to clean himself up. When he slipped back under the covers, he could hear Dean’s breathing had slowed down as well and could tell the other man was only minutes away from sleep. 

“I love you, Dean,” he whispered, drawing the covers up over his shoulder. “Sleep well, okay?”

 

"I love you too, Cas. Sleep well. Can't wait for October to get here..." Dean's voice was already slurred with approaching sleep, but he still had to make himself get up, clean himself up and climb into pajama pants, thinking of Dot.

“Me too, Dean,” Cas answered and smiled once more into the phone. “Night.” Dean echoed his goodnight and they hung up the phone. Cas plugged it into the charger, letting the phone rest on the pillow beside him-- his way of ‘sleeping with Dean’-- and closed his eyes. October couldn’t come fast enough.


	24. Chapter 24

Dean had felt horrible when he had lied about making Dorothy spend the night at Bobby’s place.

The older man - of course knowing about Dean’s plans - had come into the office where Dean had been busy with paperwork and Dot had been doing her homework.

_“Hey, you guys. Would you like to accompany an old man to the movies tonight?” he asked._

_Dotty gasped and looked at her dad expectantly._

_“Oh, Bobby. You’re not old,” Dean smirked. “But I’m sorry, gotta’ pass, too much housework to do, And I’d really like to finish this,” he waved his hand in the general direction of all the paperwork spread across his desk, “before the weekend.”_

_Dot’s face had disappointment written all over it._

_“Hey, but why don’t you take just Dotty, I wouldn’t mind.”_

_“Really, Daddy? I can?” her eyes were sparkling again._

_“Hmm, what do you say, Princess? We go to the cinema and have fast food for dinner and a sleepover at my place and Daddy can tidy up your house all alone, huh?” Bobby asked the girl._

_“Yes!” she gasped and nodded wildly._

_“Alright, come find me then when you’re done with your homework, okay?”_

_“Yes! Only three more math problems. Will you check my homework tonight?” Dot looked over at her dad who had gone back to his paperwork. “Daddy’s too busy.”_

_“Of course, Dotty,” Bobby promised._

But once Dean had arrived home and had started running around like a busy bee, vacuuming, scrubbing the floor, dusting and picking up the clutter that had been randomly lying around, he didn’t feel guilty anymore, and instead got excited about his long-weekend-visitor.

Having set his alarm so he wouldn’t be late, Dean was now waiting at the airport for Castiel to arrive. He had been told to wait outside in the car, to not bother with the high parking fees, but Dean wanted to see his boyfriend as soon as possible, so he stood waiting in the arrivals area - complete with a rose and a sign claiming he was waiting for 'sweetheart'.

Castiel grabbed his luggage, thanking whoever happened to be looking out for him that it was one of the first bags sliding down the carousel, and pulled his phone out to let Dean know that he arrived. He smiled as he sent the text, his stomach fluttering in anticipation to be with Dean again. He pulled the extension handle up on his bag and set it on its wheels, and began dragging it through baggage claims on his way to the main exit. 

Having read Cas's text, Dean had moved closer to the exit. He was bouncing on his heels and clutching his rose tighter, waiting for Cas to come through the doors. He kept staring at them, willing them to open and give him Cas. He was tingling all over thinking of tonight with the house all to themselves.

Cas smiled and held the door open for a small family of three, letting them go through the doors before he slipped out behind them, yanking his bag over the small bump in the floor. He checked his phone, seeing if Dean had replied and when he saw nothing, scanned the front to see where the best exit would be. He stopped, mid-step, when his gaze fell upon Dean standing in the center of the floor, a rose and sign in his hand and a huge smile plastered on his face. 

Cas laughed, the joyous sound exploding from his chest and he jogged forward, folding himself into Dean’s arms and meeting his lips in a kiss. 

With a happy grin Dean kissed back hungrily.

"Welcome," he laughed as they broke for air.

“God, Dean, I missed you so much,” Cas breathed out against his lips, smiling when Dean found his hand and twisted their fingers together. 

"I missed you too," Dean smiled. "Let's go home, shall we?" He reached for Cas’s luggage, wanting to help him with that.

“Yes!” Cas agreed enthusiastically, letting Dean take the bag and following him outside. Cas sighed contently as the sun and outside warmth hit him and Dean gave him a strange look. “New York has already had a few pretty cold days,” Cas explained. “This feels so nice!”

Dean smiled and kissed Cas’s cheek. “Tell them they better give you the job because you need a warmer climate for your personal health.”

“I will definitely mention that,” Cas chuckled, leaning against Dean’s shoulder as they walked to Dean’s parking spot. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face and even the butterflies in his stomach gave a happy little flutter as the men got closer to the car. Dean popped the trunk and moved around the back of the Impala to drop Cas’s bag inside while Cas scrambled into the front seat. The moment Dean was in the driver’s seat, Cas leaned over and found his lips once again. 

Dean’s hands cupped Cas’s cheeks as they kissed as if no one could see them out there on the parking lot. He wished they were home already, but he’d have to drive for that to happen and he just didn’t want to part from Cas’s lips that long.

Cas hummed against Dean’s lips, biting at the soft flesh gently before finally pulling himself away. “If you get me home? You can kiss me as long as you want,” he smirked and Dean laughed, starting up the car. “Just… drive fast? But no tickets okay? I don’t want to waste time visiting with the local police…”

With a laugh Dean twisted the key in the ignition, “Okay, I will drive quickly. But those cops…? Hey, you know, maybe if we explained the situation we could get a police escort going 50 miles an hour with lights and sirens! Might be an exciting start to the weekend…” 

Smirking, Cas just shook his head lovingly. “Don’t be a brat… Drive.”

Dean literally moaned, tingling with anticipation. He pulled out of the parking space and got them on the road home, one hand resting high up on Cas’s thigh.

Cas covered Dean’s hand with his own, rubbing his thumb across the back of his hand and closing his eyes as he leaned his head back against the headrest. “Where’s Dotty?”

“With Bobby. He’s taking her to the movies and out for her favorite kids’ meal for dinner, so she wouldn’t ask questions.” Dean replied, still feeling a bit guilty. He squeezed Castiel’s thigh gently, reminding himself that he had a good reason for Dot to sleep at Bobby’s for one night.

“Well, she’ll end up having fun with him. And can you just picture her face when we go and pick her up tomorrow?” Cas laughed, thinking about it. “I can’t wait to see her either…”

Dean drove as fast as he could without risking too many speeding tickets and exhaled in relief as he finally pulled into his driveway. “We’re home, baby,” Dean grinned and leaned over to peck Cas’s lips, sliding his hand from Cas’s thigh to rest teasingly between his legs.

“I like you saying it like that,” Cas smiled, closing his eyes as Dean’s hand brushed against him. “But, I would like you telling me it’s time to head to our bedroom even better,” he grinned, leaning over and finding Dean’s lips. 

Dean kissed Cas passionately. When the kiss broke he smirked, “Can’t speak with my lips occupied… But, it’s time for bed, Cas,” he winked.

Cas kissed him once more before pushing him away and slipping out of the car. Dean popped the trunk and Cas grabbed his bag, dragging it into the house and letting it sit by the front door. Cas reached for Dean’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled up the stairs and then into Dean’s bedroom. 

Once inside the room, Cas tugged Dean into his arms, finding his lips immediately. 

Dean’s tongue traced Cas’s lips and pushed its way between them while Dean’s hand rested on the other man’s hips, ready to tug at his shirt. Cas smiled against Dean’s lips, and fisted his own hands in the hem of Dean’s shirt. Dean pulled Cas’s shirt off, Cas following suit and then Dean was against him, walking them backwards towards the bed. 

Dean gently pushed Cas onto the bed and crawled over him. “Missed you so much,” he husked. He laid soft kisses along Cas’s jaw line as he unbuttoned his pants. “You look so sexy, my dear.” he grinned at the man beneath him.

Cas smiled back, lifting his hips to give Dean the space he needed to get his jeans off. Cas trailed his hands down Dean’s back, leaning up to bite softly along Dean’s throat as his fingers found the buttons of Dean’s jeans. He smiled against Dean’s skin, flicking open the buttons and freeing Dean of his jeans. 

Dean moaned at the sensation of Cas’s soft bites. He cupped Cas through his boxer briefs and kissed and nibbled his way down Cas’s chest, giving each nipple the extra attention of a quick tongue flicking.

Cas groaned, letting his head fall back into the pillows. He rolled his hips, pressing himself into Dean’s touch. He could feel Dean smirking against his skin, his teeth and tongue teasing across his chest and up to his throat before Dean found his lips again. 

“Dean,” Cas whispered, dragging his hands up Dean’s back, fingers digging into the corded muscles and pulling him in closer. 

Dean pressed their groins together and rolled his hips suggestively. “Cas,” he murmured in a husky whisper. “I need you.”

“Good,” Cas replied, biting Dean’s lower lip, running his tongue over it before sucking it into his mouth. “Because I want you too.”

Dean moaned desperately pressing against Cas. "Cas, fuck me," he whispered hoarsely.

Cas shuddered, hands gripping Dean's hips tightly as he rolled them, bracing himself over Dean's body. He kissed him softly, tongue pressing into Dean's mouth and tracing the edge of his teeth. He let his hands trail down Dean, pressing him into the mattress, spreading his legs so Cas could settle his body between.

Dean licked his lips looking up at Cas with lust-glazed eyes. "Top drawer, Baby," he hissed and swallowed.

Cas reached over, pressing his lips against the side of Dean's throat while he fumbled around in the drawer. He pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom and placed it beside Dean on the bed. 

Slowly, he kissed his way down Dean's chest, batting his arms away when he went to grab Cas. "Let me make you feel good," Cas whispered against his skin before closing his lips around one of his nipples.

Dean inhaled sharply. Biting his bottom lip, he set his feet flat on the bed and spread his legs wider. "Cas!"

Cas smirked against Dean’s chest, fingers digging into his hip bones as he pressed him deeper into the mattress and continued working his mouth down Dean’s torso. He kissed his way across Dean’s hips, down his thighs, purposefully ignoring Dean’s center. 

After what felt like an eternity, Dean writhing beneath him, gasping Cas’s name, Castiel moved back and found the bottle of lube, popping it open and slicking his fingers. He gently made his way to Dean’s entrance, circling his finger against the puckered muscle before pushing in as he captured Dean’s lips once again.

Dean gasped desperately into the kiss, arching off the bed. His hands couldn't decide where they wanted to stay. First Dean grasped the sheets tightly, and then moved again to hold onto Cas's hips, until finally just one hand gripped his boyfriend while the other grasped the sheets again.

“You’re so perfect, Dean,” Cas whispered, biting at his lower lip softly. He worked his fingers slowly into Dean, adding a second and then a third when Dean was ready for them, and loved seeing the ways Dean moved and responded to his touch. Even after all of these years, they still fit together so perfectly, still moved together in perfect sync as if no time had passed at all. 

Small desperate noises escaped Dean's mouth and his throat. He writhed beneath Cas's ministrations wanting them to last forever and at the same time wanting Cas to get a move on. He would never get enough of Cas's hands and lips on him.

Slowly, Cas withdrew his fingers, kissing Dean softly before he rolled on a condom and slicked himself up. He let his hands trail down Dean’s sides, smiling as a shiver ripped through him, until he could hook his arms beneath Dean’s calves. He pushed forwards, Dean’s knees pressing into his chest, legs spreading wide, and slowly Cas pushed in. 

Dean cried out softly, but his eyes never left Cas. He trembled, but once he'd found his focus, anchored his mind on how beautiful Cas looked and on how good it felt to be finally filled by him again, Dean relaxed visibly.

“Dean,” Cas murmured quietly, rolling his hips as they moved together, kissing Dean’s face and lips softly. “I missed this, missed you…”

“I missed you too. I love you, Cas. Love you so much.” Dean whispered, gently moving with Cas.

Cas released one of Dean’s legs, running his hand up Dean’s chest and around his neck to tangle in his hair. He pulled his head up, claiming his mouth as they rocked together as their kisses became more frantic, sloppy and needy. “Fuck, Dean…” Cas groaned into his mouth, shifting the angle of his hips to hit Dean deeper, harder than he had before. 

Dean’s breathing wasn’t much more than panting and whispers of Cas’s name. The leg Cas had released was now wrapped around his waist. Dean’s hands alternated between seeking to steady himsilf, holding onto the sheets and roaming Cas’s skin as much as they could reach.

Cas could feel the heat pooling in his lower belly, his body coiled tight and ready to spring. He released his hold on the back of Dean’s head and slipped his hand between them, wrapping his long fingers around Dean’s length, stroking him in time with the thrusting of his hips. 

Dean’s body shuddered with sensation overload. He stretched up to find Cas’s lips as he rocked harder and more desperately with his lover’s thrusts.

“Dean…” Cas mouthed against Dean’s throat, nippng and kissing him softly. “Come for me, Dean…” He twisted his wrist at the same time he bit down on Dean’s shoulder. 

Dean gasped, then cried out Cas’s name and whimpering softly as he came. His whole body shaking with the shocks of his orgasm. Cas groaned as Dean’s body clenched around him, hot and tight and perfect. Dean’s fingers dug into Cas’s back, holding him close as Dean arched his back and spilled between them. Cas followed, seconds behind, and collapsed against Dean’s chest, breathing hard. 

“Fuck, Dean…” he whispered, closing his eyes and tucking his head against Dean’s neck. 

Dean’s hand slid up the back of Cas’s head and gently held him there against his throat. “I love you.” he whispered low, still a little out of breath.

“I love you, too,” Cas replied. He sighed softly, kissing Dean once before extracting himself from Dean’s arms and padding quietly into the bathroom. He cleaned himself up quickly and returned to the bed with a warm washcloth to clean Dean up as well. Dean pointed to the hamper in the corner of the room and Cas tossed the washcloth over to it before crawling back into the warmth of Dean’s arms and settling back against his chest.

Cas woke up with the morning sun and was smiling the moment he opened his eyes. Dean’s arm was tight around his waist, the other man’s face pressed up close to share the same pillow, and his breath was warm and damp against Cas’s neck. Cas allowed himself a few moments to snuggle deeper into Dean’s arms, relaxed and content, before he carefully extracted himself.

Silently entering the bathroom, he relieved himself, then brushed his teeth and washed his face and hands before he slipped out of the room and down the stairs to start a pot of coffee. Opening the fridge expecting lean pickings, he laughed to himself when he realized Dean must have gone on a super-shopping spree the day before Cas came. He picked through the generous contents in the fridge and settled on making french toast and breakfast sausages. 

He was just finishing setting the table when Dean came down stairs, his sweat pants hung low on his hips, and his hair sticking up in all directions. Cas smiled and closed the distance between them, sealing his lips over Dean’s and shoving a mug of hot coffee into his hands.

“Good morning,” he whispered against Dean’s lips before pulling back. “I made you breakfast.”

Dean smiled at the other man still feeling a little groggy, but touched by his lover’s thoughtfulness.

"I don't think I can ever let you go again," he grinned. He took the cup and sipped his coffee. He reached for Cas's hand as he sat down and pulled him to sit on his lap.

Cas went willingly, shifting so that his legs were on either side of Dean’s hips, his arms draped over Dean’s shoulders. “I love you, Dean Winchester.” Cas leaned forward and captured Dean’s lips, kissing him softly. 

Dean kissed back closing his eyes, letting himself get lost in the moment, loving every second they were able to spend together, to be close. He drapeid his arms loosely around Castiel's waist.

They kissed slowly, exploring each other’s mouths until finally Cas pulled back with a chuckle. “Breakfast is going to be stone cold if we keep this up…”

"Yeah, sorry, Chef. Let's eat. It smells delicious, by the way, did I mention that yet?" Dean smirked.

“Nope, but thank you,” Cas smiled and kissed Dean once more before settling onto his own chair. He passed Dean the plate of french toast, laughing when Dean loaded up four thick slices before handing the plate back. “I knew I had to make enough food for the army…”

"I need energy, I have my very sexy lover staying the weekend," Dean laughed and loaded several sausages onto his plate before pouring syrup over all of it.

“That you do!” Cas laughed, reaching to add another sausage onto Dean’s plate and giving him a wink. “Are we picking up Dot after breakfast?”

"We should, it wouldn't be fair to have her wait longer than she's used to when staying at Bobby's overnight," Dean agreed and picked up a sausage.

“I can’t wait to see her face,” Cas beamed, taking a bite of his breakfast. “I’ve missed her, too.”

"Should I have a camera ready?" Dean winked.

“Maybe!” Cas chuckled in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee. They finished their breakfast, talking about what they were going to do for dinner and the possibility of seeing a movie that night or even on Sunday with Dotty. When they were finished, they cleaned the kitchen together, Dean washing the dishes and Cas drying and tucking them away. 

“Shower and then Dot, yes…?” Cas asked, raising his eyebrow in suggestion at Dean before turning from the room, not needing to wait for a response. 

Dean followed Castiel quickly out of the room and gently smacked his butt as he scooted past him.

"Catch me if you can, tease!" he chuckled and hurried up the stairs in front of Cas. Castiel laughed and raced after him, nearly slipping on his socked feet as he rounded the corner by the steps. “If I break my neck, you have to carry me up!” he yelled before grabbing the railing and pounding up the stairs after Dean. 

"You don't have to break your neck for me to carry you, Baby." Dean called over his shoulder. He ran up to his room and slid through the door gracefully.

A shiver went through Cas at the idea of Dean picking him up, man-handling him and taking all of the control. He smirked when he arrived in the bathroom, Dean already beautifully naked and bent over the tub to adjust the water.

Dean both sensed and heard Cas come into the bathroom behind him, and looked over his shoulder. "Hey, beautiful," he winked at him and stood up straight.

Cas slipped up behind Dean, trailing his hands down Dean's back until he could cup the globes of Dean's ass. He squeezed, his fingers gripping onto Dean's flesh, and lean forward press a kiss between Dean shoulder blades.

Dean pressed back into Cas's touch and blindly reached behind him. "We should take this in there,” he nodded towards the tub with the steamy water streaming down from the showerhead, “get something productive done too," he suggested in a low voice.

Castiel nodded, slipping his arms around Dean's waist and hugging him tight against his chest before finally releasing him and stepping back. Dean stepped into the shower, adjusting the spray and then turned to watch as Castiel undressed before joining him.

After a long and intense shower, they dressed quickly and finally were ready head to Bobby's and surprise Dotty.

Cas' leg was bouncing as Dean drove, excitement thrumming through his veins. He hadn't expected to be just as excited to see Dotty as he had been to see Dean.

Dean glanced over at Cas from the corner of his eyes and smiled. "I think you should go in first," he suggested and laid his right hand on Cas's knee. "What do you think?”

"Okay!" Cas beamed and leaned over to kiss Dean quickly before excitedly scrambling out of the Impala. He went to the front door, Dean hiding several feet behind him, and knocked.

Dean smirked, he was anxious to see Dot’s face when she saw Cas. He chuckled softly hearing Bobby yell "Come in, idjit! Door's open."

Cas rolled his eyes at Dean and opened the door. He followed the sound of Bobby and Dot's chatter into the living room where they were talking about what to make -- brownies or cookies. "Well, I love brownies..." Cas interrupted.

Dean stayed a few steps behind and watched his daughter's reaction intrigued.

His little one gasped, almost slipping off of the stool she was perched on as she spun around. She took a moment to connect the voice with the face, as if she hadn’t really believed that Cas was actually here, before she flung herself forward and into Castiel’s arms. 

“Cas! Cas! You’re here!” She squealed, wrapping her little arms around his neck. Cas laughed and lifted her into the air, hugging her back tightly. 

“I am! Surprise!” He beamed, tucking his head into her shoulder. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too! I was just telling Uncle Bobby last night about how I drawed you a picture in school!”

Dean winked at Bobby before moving closer to Cas and Dot. To his 'family' was the word his brain supplied and he felt a warm tingle all over at the thought. Cas turned slightly when Dean approached and looked up to meet his eyes, the smile still spread across his face. 

“Daddy! Cas is here!” Dorothy said, squeezing her arms around his neck and giving her Dad a huge smile. “He surprised us!”

"Yes, my little Bear, he did." Dean laid one arm around Cas, his free hand tucking loose strands of hair behind Dotty's ear. Behind them all, Bobby just shook his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he turned back around to let them have their moment in private.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gishwhes kept us very busy! So I apologize for the missed update!!
> 
> I hope if any of you did Gishwhes you had as much fun as we did!!!! <3 Dani & Bibi

Castiel exhaled slowly, his stomach churning as he slipped behind the wheel of the Impala. Part of him wanted to laugh -- it used to take him hours of begging and bribing Dean to get the other man to let him drive the Impala, even if they were just going five minutes down the road, and this morning, Dean had handed him the keys with a kiss and a smile like it was no big deal. Cas would have found it funny, if he hadn’t been so nauseous.

Already he was afraid he was going to be late. The tie he had thought he’d packed to wear with his suit had somehow gone missing, and he spent fifteen minutes panicking as he ripped apart his entire suitcase, dumping all of its contents onto Dean’s queen-sized bed and throwing everything around before Dean had pulled him into his arms, fighting back his laughter, and told him to just grab one of his ties instead. 

Castiel hadn’t even thought of Dean having ties… Stupid, really… Cas had nodded and slipped into the closet, pulling a dark blue one off of the hanger. Dean had taken it from his nervously shaking fingers, slipped it under his shirt collar and quickly fastened it for him before giving him another kiss. 

“I have coffee for you,” Dean called in parting and left Cas to finish getting ready. He was shaved, dressed, and apparently fed after he’d made it downstairs, but somehow he felt _off_. He felt like he was missing something, a step he hadn’t remembered to take, and now that he was sitting in the Impala at a red light, on his way to his interview, it hit him just what that ‘something’ was. 

He was missing _this_ , this life, a life with Dean and with Dot in Kansas. It had nothing to do with the interview, not really, except that if he got this job? If they liked him and hired him? He would have his life back -- the life he had always imagined having in the first place. A life with Dean. 

Getting married at nineteen had been insane -- at almost thirty, Castiel could admit that and he was sure that Dean would agree. Hell, if Dorothy ever told Dean she was going to be getting married that young, he was sure Dean would have something to say about it. But even then, Cas had pictured himself at Dean’s side for the rest of his life, and after that had been ripped from them… well, he never really got rid of that dream. 

Although he’d gotten close to replacing Dean’s image with Balthazar’s, and the life he’d planned suddenly shifted from a small town in Kansas to the busy city of New York, when Cas was being completely honest and closed his eyes, it was Dean he’d always seen. Now the chance to get all of that back was grazing his fingertips. He could feel it, every time he laid beside Dean and felt strong arms wrap around his stomach to hold him close. He felt it when Dot pulled him into her bedroom and fluffed her pillow for his head, begging him to read just one more story before bed. He felt it when the three of them sat together in the living room, fighting over which Disney movie was the best and which one they should watch that night. 

Cas wanted this, more than anything. And the possibility that he could be turned down? It was terrifying. 

Castiel pulled into the hospital’s parking lot, cutting the engine and exhaling slowly as he did so. He ended up being fifteen minutes early -- just as Dean had told him he would be when he practically ran out the door, waving off his good luck kiss, in a panic. 

He stepped out of the car, locking the door, and quickly checking his reflection in the driver’s side window before pushing himself toward the building. He could do this -- he was already the CEO of the hospital in New York. He knew the job, he knew the numbers, he knew _Kansas_ and the kinds of people that would end up being admitted here. New York was a busier hospital, and once again he was wrestling with the idea of bringing that up. 

Pointing out that the New York location was busier meant that he could handle heavy influxes of patients, and would show that high census and stress were everyday situations for him. But, it could also mean that he came across as cocky and felt his skillset was above what was needed at a smaller city’s facility, which was certainly not how he felt nor the image he wanted to project…  
He was still flipping it over in his mind when he found the front desk and forced himself to smile and extend his hand to the assistant in the reception area. 

“Good Morning! Castiel Shirley. I’m here to see Megan Masters for an interview at ten.”

“Oh! Yes, she told me to be expecting you.” The woman smiled, shaking his hand before returning to her seat. “Go ahead and take a seat over there, I’ll let her know you’re here and she will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you,” With a smile, Cas turned around, heading for the closest seat in the lobby. Sinking into it he tucked his crossed ankles beneath the chair, and with a calmness he didn’t feel folded his hands into his lap. 

Waiting. This was seriously the worst part…

Dean wondered if he should’ve asked Cas to drop him at Bobby's, but he’d known the stress Cas was under to get to this interview on time. Giving the Impala to Cas to drive to his interview was just one way for Dean to show how much he loved him and how important Cas's interview was to him too. He knew he'd have to deal with Bobby's teasing when his partner saw him arrive pedaling a bike instead of driving his beloved car, but that was something he could gladly put up with for the love of his life.

Dean had at least already taken Dot to school before Cas had even awakened. So now he shoved what he needed for work into an old backpack, swung it over his shoulder, and grabbed his bike from the back of the house. It was only a fifteen minute ride over to Bobby’s and he sent up a silent prayer of thanks that it wasn’t a rainy day.

Another thankful prayer followed the first when Bobby was nowhere to be seen in the yard as Dean arrived. He rode past the office and parked his bike at the back of the building before heading in.

“Morning,” Bobby grunted his greeting, looking up once when the door opened and then returning to his coffee and the paper in his hands. “Didn’t hear you come in…”

"Morning. I'm working on becoming a ninja. Glad to see I'm making progress." Dean joked and went right to the coffee machine to pour his own cup.

Bobby rolled his eyes and handed over the paper when Dean walked by to get to his own desk. "Only have a few scheduled for today... had a few tow-ins from last night -- look pretty standard though. That list there's the numbers I pulled from registrations. Wanna give them a call and let 'em know a time frame?"

"Yeah, gonna have a look and call them." Dean agreed and sat down. He sipped his coffee and checked the clock. He took a deep breath knowing it would still quite a while before he heard from Castiel.

Bobby eyed him and then leaned back into his chair, raising an eyebrow in Dean’s direction. “What’s eating you this morning?”

"Cas is in Topeka ... He's got an interview at the hospital..."

"Oh yeah?" Bobby hummed to himself and reached for his coffee, thinking as he took a sip. "Didn't know he was looking for employment down here..." he said slowly, meeting Dean's eyes across their desks. "You ready for that?"

Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah I am. It's pure horror when he's away. I know it's all happening pretty fast and all, but I miss him so much when he's in New York."

Bobby nodded once, clearing his throat as he shuffled some of the papers on his desk. Dean knew his silence was from the older man thinking, weighing each word, and not that the conversation was over. Finally Bobby met his eyes again. "This is a big step for anyone... Never mind the history you two have. Have you... Talked about it in detail? Is he staying with you and Dot or his own place? Because if he's staying with you, and that's what you both want..? ...there needs to be that conversation..."

"We ... Not really, I mean, we both said it's crazy, but we also said that we both want it. It's hard, and we are well aware of our past history, Bobby, don't think we're not." Dean sighed deeply.

"You know, more than anyone what life can throw at you, Son..." Bobby said softly. "This is an entirely new situation for both of you, and for Dotty. I support you, you know I do, I just want you to be smart and careful... And happy and not to be a goddamn idjit again," He added, giving Dean a fond smile.

"I'm not planning on being an idiot, Bobby," Dean ran a hand through his hair. "I'll sit down with him tonight."

Bobby nodded again and tossed a pack of gum across their desks. "I'm gonna finish up the Smith's van and give Stu a call to pick ‘er up."

Dean just nodded and finished his coffee. "I'll have a look at the ‘tow-ins’," he told Bobby and got up.

Bobby grunted his response, before he pushed past him, heading out to the van in the repair bay. Dean reached behind him for the wall of keys, plucking the ones he needed from the hooks. With a sigh he pushed to his feet and moved out into the yard towards the newly arrived tows.  
Dean sighed and shook and his head. Was he making a mistake? Was he going too fast? He felt horrible that he was giving it some real thought only now. He just wanted to hear from Cas and wanted to be able to talk to him.

Cas parked the Impala in front of the small office and carefully got out. He tugged at the waist of his dress shirt to straighten it out before he walked into the room. Dean looked up and gave him a small smile, but was talking on the phone with a customer.

"We'll have her ready by this evening, no problem. Do you need Bobby or me to come and pick you and the kids up?" Dean pointed towards the coffee maker and Cas nodded, heading over to make them both a cup while Dean finished on the phone.

Dean watched Cas while he was making his call. He blew him a kiss when he got the cup of coffee handed over. Once he hung up the phone he beamed at Cas. "Hello, Love, how are you? How was the interview?"

"Hey, I'm good." Cas leaned across the desk to give Dean a kiss before dropping into the visitor’s chair. "You and Bobby busy today? I thought we could do lunch or something and then I can tell you about the interview."

Dean grinned happily. "Not too busy… Lunch sounds awesome." He checked the time on his computer screen. "Let me just tell Bobby, and we're good to go now, actually."

"Alright," Cas nodded and took a sip of his coffee. "Meet you at the car?"

Dean nodded and sipped his coffee too. He got up and walked around his desk to kiss Cas softly.

Castiel kissed him back and then shoved at him gently. "Go… go tell Bobby and let's go. I want to tell you about it and talk to you about something.”

Dean sighed. "Yeah, me too..." He picked up his cup and taking another sip as he headed through the doorway.

Cas followed Dean out of the shop, splitting from him to head to the car. He sipped on his coffee leaning against the passenger door, suddenly nervous as he waited for Dean to join him.

Dean talked to Bobby, telling him about the call and that he was going out for lunch with Cas. Then he went to find Cas and looked at him amused when he saw him standing at the passenger side.

"Ready?" Dean's question made Cas jump and he nodded quickly, giving Dean a small smile and pushing down the nerves that had taken residence in his stomach. Dean slipped into the driver’s seat and Cas handed over the keys as he rode shotgun.

"Do you have half an hour or so?" Cas asked, turning the radio down as Dean turned on the car. Dean gave him a look, but didn't say anything about the volume of the music.

"I have as long as we need, Love - at least this time. So, where do you want to take me?" Dean asked when they got to the main road.

"How about that nice, little Italian place by my Dad's house?"

"Haven't been there for a while, but I heard they're even better now than back when we were regulars." Dean replied and turned right to take them to the suggested restaurant.

"Alright, good. I would kill for some chicken parmesan right now..." Cas smiled, relaxing back into the seat.

Dean cruised down the street where Cas used to live staying rather silent, trying to figure out how to start a conversation about the idea of Cas moving in.

When they finally arrived, Cas exhaled slowly and let out a nervous laugh. "When I said we needed to talk... I didn't expect you to come back with the same..." he said softly before looking over at Dean.  
"Please tell me you're not... I don't know... going to say something really awful… that's going to make me wish we weren't out in public? Are you?"

Dean took Cas's hand and squeezed gently. "No. At least I hope not. I wouldn't have agreed to go out if I thought that was something that would happen."

"That really doesn't make me feel any better," Cas laughed uneasily, leaning over to give Dean a quick kiss. "Alright, let's go..."

"Not like I feel all peachy." Dean mumbled under his breath and got out of the car.

Cas sighed and followed after him, giving the hostess a smile when she greeted them at the door. "Two please."

"Right this way," she smiled warmly and led them through the restaurant. Cas was grateful they were seated in a secluded booth towards the back.

"Damien is your server, and he will be right with you."

"Thank you." Dean smiled at the hostess, waiting for Cas to get seated.

"Alright. You first…" Cas suggested, picking up the menu and flattening it in front of him. He glanced down at it quickly, but already knew what it was that he wanted to order.

Dean did the same with his menu, but he was too nervous to know what he wanted. He watched Cas for a few moments while chewing on his lower his lip uneasily. "We ... We never really… um… 'talked' about the ‘you moving in with us’ thing ..." He started finally.

Cas felt his face pale and he swallowed hard, trailing his eyes up from his menu to meet Dean's. "Right. I... I shouldn't have assumed..." He trailed off, suddenly feeling nauseous. He felt his stomach twist as he came to the quick conclusion that Dean maybe hadn't really wanted him to live down here with him. He bit on his lower lip, trying to recall all of their conversations about the prospect of Cas moving back down and getting relocated at the hospital in Topeka. Now he wondered if he had only heard what he himself had wanted to hear. Maybe Dean had never really suggested any of this… Cas felt his eyes begin to moisten. 

Instantly Dean recognized the look on Cas's face, the horror in his blue eyes, and without a moment’s hesitation he reached across the table to grasp both of Cas’s hands in his, “No! No, Cas… Calm down… That came out wrong.” He smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile, before continuing, "I do want you here, I want you to move in.. I only meant that we never actually talked about it… About all the changes it would mean for either of us... About anything..."

 

"Jesus Christ, Dean..." Cas exhaled quickly, clenching Dean's hands with his own. "Start with that next time..." He squeezed Dean's hands and tried to force his breathing back under control.

Dean took a deep breath. "I'm sorry… God, Cas, I'm so damned sorry."

"It's okay..." Cas reassured him, squeezing his hand one more time before pulling back. "Now that you've officially scared the crap out of me, I guess whatever you have to say can't be that bad." He chuckled and closed his menu. "So... no, you're right. We haven't talked about it much. I think part of that is because neither of us wanted to be disappointed in case this job thing didn't pan out."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. So, how about you start with telling me about your interview first?"

"Well..." Cas cleared his throat and shifted his position on the seat.

"Hello, gentlemen! I'm Damien, I'll be your server this afternoon. Can I start you guys off with something to drink?"

"I'll just have a glass of ice water with some lemon," Cas gave the waiter a small smile and then waited for Dean to order his Coke.

"Can I start you off with any breadsticks? Salad? Some fried calamari?"

"I think we know what we want actually... Dean?"

"I'll have the lasagna, please…" Dean told the waiter with a polite smile. And with a grin directed at Cas “and Cas will have a double order of Chicken Parmesan. Thank you.”

The waiter wrote down their orders and with a smile, picked up their menus before leaving them alone once more.

"Right... so... The interview went okay. I left kind of not really knowing where I stood, you know? The interview was with the current CEO who is planning on retiring, and he was nice and all but.. I just didn't get a good feel for him, you know? Not really sure where I stood…

"Well, as I was driving back to Lawrence... he called me." Cas paused, watching Dean's face and fighting back the smile. "He called me and... he said that he was impressed with me and he'd already talked to a few of the people back in New York and some of the hospitals in the area. Said he'd also contacted the Vice-President for the hospitals division. The interview was just a formality, they'd already decided a week ago.” Cas paused for dramatic effect.

"I got the job. I start in Topeka on January 1st!"

Dean's jaw dropped and he gasped in delighted surprise. Then he blinked at Cas like he wasn't real. "You got it? You're really coming home to Kansas? That's ... Amazing!!!"

“I did… yes,” Cas nodded quickly, a smile breaking out over his face. “I’m coming back, Dean…”

"That's crazy! I'm so fucking excited!" Dean gasped. 

"Me too," Cas agreed and leaned over the table to capture Dean's lips in a quick kiss. "I'm coming home, Dean."

"I'm so happy, Cas," Dean breathed out.

"Good, I'm glad. I am too." Cas laughed and leaned back as the waiter returned with their drinks. "So... now the next part. Dean, look... if you're not ready for me to live with you and Dot yet, I get it. I really do, and I am sure Dad would let me stay with him until I got on my feet down here."

"I want it, Cas, I really want you to live with us. I have no idea if we're doing the right thing though," Dean sighed. "But I don't think anyone can say if we are. I think we'll have to find out, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I'm a little scared."

"Alright... Well, let's talk about that then. What are you scared of? Because as much as I'm excited, I'm terrified too. And we know, from past experience, that we have to talk about this and… about what we're thinking and feeling. I don't... I don't want this… to end up like before, Dean. I barely handled it the first time. I couldn't do that again… especially now… now that I would be losing more than just you. I'd be losing Dotty too."

"That's really what I'm afraid of… Of us losing you… of me fucking things up… again..." Dean swallowed the lump of fear rising in his throat. "Look, I’ve never had anyone else live with Dot and me. We're a team, and she and I know each other inside and out. It's gonna’ be all new and different now with the three of us. She wants you to be her second daddy, but I want you to not only be around to spoil her a little but also to really act like a real dad ... with rules and such… you know? A real parent."

"And I really want that, Dean. God, I want that so badly... I can't imagine not having the two of you in my life and I truly want to be a part of yours and hers. I know I've never been a daddy before, and I'm going to have so much to learn… If this is really what we want, if we're really going to do this, then I’m going to need you to help me. I want to make this as easy and good for her as I can, you know? I don't want to upset her life by coming into it-- I want to make it better. I want to make both of your lives better."

"I know that... And I know it will take both Dot and me a little time to feel out our new roles. To learn to share our lives with you every day… but... I honestly mean it when I say there is nothing that I want more than that."

"Maybe we should just give it a try and not overthink it too much, and we should just talk right away when problems arise and not try to imagine them all beforehand.”

"Alright... But only if we do that… really talk . We have to promise to talk to each other, just like we do now." Cas reached across the table and took Dean's hand in his. "This time has to be different. For us and for Dotty’s sake..."

"For us and for Dotty," Dean agreed wholeheartedly, squeezing Cas's hand. "I promise I'll talk about my feelings and my fears and my problems. I love you and I don't want to lose you again...ever."

"I love you too," Cas smiled and his eyes twinkled with hope for their future. "We have a few months until I'm down here... But I’m thinking of taking two weeks off, if I can, so I can get settled in with you and Dotty. Plus, it will be Christmas..."

"A second Daddy for Christmas…That would be an awesome present for our Princess," Dean beamed.

"I don't know if I'll be able to take time off between now and then though... I'll still have to find someone for my hospital to take over my position." Cas chewed on his lip, lost in thought.

"Would you mind us coming to visit you for Thanksgiving?" Dean suggested.

"I would love that," Cas grinned, squeezing Dean's hand. "I still can't believe this is happening..." he said softly and leaned back as the waiter approached their table with their meals in hand.

"Me neither," Dean smiled softly at Cas.


	26. Chapter 26

Cas let himself into the apartment and was greeted with an armful of Dorothy the second he stepped in through the door.

“Cas!” she cried out, laughing as Cas lifted her up into the air.

“Hey, Dotty!” Cas laughed and hugged her tightly. “Where’s your Daddy?”

“Checking on the turkey,” Dot answered, hugging him once more before slipping down Cas’s body. “I’m watchin’ the parade!”

“Awesome! Let me see if Daddy needs any help and then you can show me which float is your favorite, okay?” Dot nodded and bounced away from him, back into the living room and the large window that overlooked the city. Although they were a couple of blocks over, being on the upper-most floor of the building gave her great view of the gigantic character balloons sailing above the parade route. He could hear the sounds of the TV broadcasting the parade as well and knew Dot would see all the floats and marching bands on the TV screen.

“Hey,” Dean greeted as Cas made his way into the kitchen. Cas smiled and reached for Dean. He gripped the back of his neck and pulled Dean in, pressing their lips together.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” he said against Dean’s lips. “The subway was so backed up because of the parade… I got there and the issue had already been resolved as well.” He sighed stepped back from Dean to look at the pots and pans Dean had all around the counters and stove. “Are you feeding an army?” Cas laughed, inhaling deeply. “Smells delicious.”

“Well… I couldn’t decide on what to make… Dotty is starting to try more things too, so I didn’t want her to miss anything.”

“Green bean casserole, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and candied yams?” Cas named off each dish as he opened the pots and pans, his smile widening with each new discovery. “And I bet if I open the fridge there will be every kind of pie known to man?”

“No! Not… every kind,” Dean laughed, pushing Cas’s arm playfully. “I couldn’t find cherry and there wasn’t room in the oven to make one.”

“I’ll make you a cherry pie for Christmas,” Cas promised with a smile and Dean kissed him before shoving three dinner plates into his hands.

“I knew I loved you for a reason.”

Cas chuckled and took the plates to the table, grabbing the wine glasses from the cabinet and setting out three. He figured Dot would want to have a fancy ‘grown-up’ glass for her apple juice too.

Dean hummed happily checking on the dishes again before he slipped into the living room again.

"Hey, ‘lil Miss, any awesome floats yet?" he asked as he moved to his daughter’s side.

"Daddy! Look! You can see Princess Sophia!" Dot squealed, pressing her face against the window. Dean chuckled and ruffled her hair as he sunk down to his knees beside her.

"Oh… I see her!" He smiled and Dot leaned against his arm, looking over his shoulder at the TV before back to the window.

Cas watched them for a moment, feeling his heart swell. This was going to be his… hell this was his! He slipped back into the kitchen to get out the silverware and bring some of the dishes to the table.

Dean watched the parade with his little one for a bit longer before he went back to the kitchen to take care of the food.

"I think all that's left is the turkey and gravy..." Cas said when he saw Dean and gave him a smile. "Do you want to carve it?"

"Me? It's your place, Love," Dean winked.

Cas laughed and leaned over the island to kiss Dean softly. "Alright, why don't you get Dot and meet me at the table?"

"Oh, damn, I handed myself the harder job, didn't I?" Dean laughed.

"I'm a slave driver," Cas smirked and gave Dean a playful shove. "Hey! Are we ‘talking’ to her after dinner?"

"I really think we should ... She and I must prepare ourselves for the ‘slave driver’ to move in with us. It's gonna be a huge change for her. It makes me a little nervous."

"Oh shut up." Cas threw a hand-towel at Dean who ducked it, laughing. Cas shook his head and turned his attention to the turkey. As he sliced into it, he couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his lips.

He was nervous too, more nervous than he'd been in a while, about telling Dorothy what was happening. If she even showed the slightest amount of discomfort at the thought... Cas couldn't help but think that would be it. He loved her, loved both of them, and he knew Dotty was in love with him too. But this was a huge step they were taking, and she needed to be on board.

Dean moved to the window, and leaned down to kiss his daughter’s blond head. "Are you coming over to join us for dinner, my bear?" He asked, watching her face with amusement as she actually contemplated whether to keep on watching the parade and miss out on dinner or have dinner and miss the mammoth balloons.

"Do we have mashed potatoes?" she asked, tearing her eyes from the window to look up at her Daddy.

"Oh, Princess, of course there's mashed potatoes. Like we would have Thanksgiving Dinner without mashed potatoes."

"Okay, I'll come then!" She agreed happily and jumped down from her chair to scamper into the dining room. Cas was already there, pulling out her chair and helping her climb up into her booster seat.

Dean smiled at Cas happily, watching him help Dotty. This was going to be their future, this was the future he was gladly looking forward to. No, actually, it was their present because this was happening.

Cas sat down in his chair and carefully pushed a glass of apple juice over to Dorothy. "It's a ‘big girl’ glass, so you have to be careful, okay?"

Dorothy nodded and looked proudly at her Dad. "Look, Daddy!!! Just like yours!"

"Yeah, I see Cas spoiling you," Dean chuckled.

Cas gave Dean a wink and popped a bottle of champagne, pouring them each a glass. "Happy Thanksgiving!" Cas smiled, clinking his glass with Dean's and then Dorothy's before taking a sip.

"We have to have Thanksgiving like this every year!" Dorothy exclaimed, taking a big gulp of her juice before pushing her plate towards Cas to fill.

“Oh yes, that would be awesome. But maybe next time we could do it back in Kansas, huh?"

Cas gave Dean a smirk and looked at Dorothy as he served a big scoop of mashed potatoes and some turkey onto her plate.

“Oh yes! Would you do that, Cas? Would you come home with us for Thanksgiving next year?"

"You know, Dot… I think I could do that." Cas paused and met Dean's eyes before he continued. They'd talked about having this conversation after dinner, but if this wasn't the perfect opening, Cas didn't know what else would be. "And maybe even some other dinners too, not necessarily holidays, what do you think about that?"

"Will you come to visit us a lot, Cas?" She asked before she took another sip of her juice.

"No, little Bear," Dean started and looked at Cas. "Cas won't be visiting us anymore."

Instantly Dot looked confused, eyes darting back and forth between her Dad and Cas before she turned watery eyes to Cas. "Are you breaking up with us?"

Dean instantly regretted his words, and yet he thought his daughter's question was the sweetest thing ever, or at least the 'us' part of it was, the rest was heart-wrenching.

"Oh, honey! No," Cas said quickly, reaching for her hand and giving it a light squeeze. "No, I am not breaking up with you or your Daddy... In fact... I was thinking that maybe, if it was alright with you, I could come and live a little bit closer."

Now her green eyes widened in delight and she gasped, "Like back with Uncle Chuck?"

Cas's heart gave a flutter at the fact that Dot already thought of his family as her own and had taken to calling his dad 'Uncle Chuck' even after that disastrous dinner. Cas smiled and glanced over at Dean before he shook his head again. "I was thinking more like... with you and Daddy."

Dean reached for Cas's hand under the table and held it gently while he studied Dorothy's face as the information sank in. This was going to be too important for all of them, and it scared Dean.

Dotty was quiet for a long moment, her bright green eyes searching the faces of both her father and Cas for a moment as if she was trying to see if they were trying to trick her. Finally, she turned her entire body to Castiel and whispered, "Really?"

"Really," Cas whispered back, nodding, and then he had a lap full of over-joyed, high energy as she scrambled down from her booster seat and launched her small body into Castiel's arms.

"Really? You're really coming to live with us? You're really, really going to be there like every day and every night and all the time?"

Dean's face was all grin, but his eyes were damp. He couldn't have been any happier than he was right now. His lover was going to move in with them, and his daughter was looking forward to it. That's what he was thankful for tonight.

"Yes, I am," Cas laughed, squeezing her tightly before sliding her back into her seat. "I'll even be there for Christmas."

"When exactly are you going to come?" Dean asked. He couldn’t remember if Cas had already told him or not. He’d chalk it up to nervous memory loss.

"Two weeks, give or take," Cas grinned. "I am officially finished with my position on the 7th of December and then all I have to do is pack up everything and come down!"

"Is there anything we can already take with us? I wish we could stay to help pack, but school and work ..."

"No, no it's alright," Cas shook his head and finished filling Dotty's plate and then his own. "You and I just have to figure out what we actually want from here and what I should sell or have stay behind..."

"That shouldn't be too hard, we can do that." Dean agreed nodding and started dishing up his own plate too.

"Great," Cas gave Dean a smile and turned back to Dot. "I'm glad you're excited, I was kind of worried."

"Why were you worried?" she asked, taking a big bite of her mashed potatoes.

"Well, I want you to be happy! So it was really important to me and to your Daddy that you would be okay with me coming to live with you."

"Well… of course I want that!" She flashed him an exasperated look and shook her head. "I already told my friends at school I had two daddies, so now when they come over they will know it's true!"

Dean stared at his daughter, his scoop of sweet potatoes hovering above the table. "You ... " he blinked.

Cas looked at Dean with his eyes wide and then burst out laughing.

"What?" Dot asked them, confused at their reactions.

"I just didn't know you were telling people that..." Dean replied, just as confused.

"Well, when Uncle Sammy was here, you and him talked about you and Cas being married, so that means he's my daddy too, right?"

Dean looked at Cas, a little shocked, and a tiny bit amused. "Well, Dot," he said looking at her again, "That's... that's true I guess… Cas?”

Cas’s blue eyes widened and he turned to Dean, opening his mouth once before letting it fall shut. "I..." he stopped and glanced at Dotty again who was looking at him expectantly. “Well… Right now... Your Daddy and I are... dating, I guess," he said, giving Dean a shrug. "But you can call me whatever makes you comfortable, okay?" He and Dean hadn't talked about the fact that they were still married since they'd been trying to get the divorce papers taken care of. Hell, Cas still had the signed papers at the bottom of his nightstand drawer…

He glanced towards Dean, hoping his response was an okay one. They hadn't actually talked about how any of their relationships would change once Cas was in the house, though both of them had already assumed Cas would be taking on a parenting role...

"I think I forgot the cranberry sauce," Dean told them and got up slipping back into the kitchen. He was hoping Cas got the hint ... He knew his daughter could be rather straightforward, but sometimes, like now, she was almost scaring him.

Cas waited a second then leaned towards Dorothy. "I don't think he knows where the can opener is... I'll be right back."

Dean stood at the island, expecting Cas momentarily.

"What the Fuck?" Eyes huge, Dean barely mouthed the words at him. “She’s way ahead of us…”

Cas shrugged, eyes just as wide. "I had no idea what to say... Jesus Christ, Dean... I didn't expect that!" Cas chuckled nervously and ran a hand back through his hair, reaching for a small plate to put their 'emergency cranberry sauce' on. "Was what I said okay? I know we hadn't talked about anything like that..."

"Yeah ... Yeah… of course, it was okay ... I just ... I really didn't expect that, you know? Children are scary, Cas." He came to stand right in front of him and ran a hand through his hair. "I guess we'll have a bit more talking to do tonight ..."

"She hears everything, that's for sure..." Cas grinned and opened up a drawer for the can opener, pressing it into Dean's hands. "Let's just change the subject for now... I bet if we tried we could get her to spend the rest of dinner talking about the parade."

"Let's hope so." Dean took the opener and kissed Cas's cheek. "Let's go back."

Cas nodded, squeezing Dean's shoulder as he passed and followed him back into the dining room. 

Dot was turned around in her chair, her eyebrow cocked up as she looked at them. "Were you kissing in there?" She asked, making an ‘icky’ face.

"Yes, we were," Dean smiled happily. "That's what daddies do, get used to it, kiddo." He laughed and ruffled her hair.

Dorothy huffed but turned back around in her chair to continue eating. Cas rolled his eyes, laughing as he took his seat again. "Happy Thanksgiving," he laughed, cutting into his turkey. "I love you guys."

"I love you two, too, and tonight I'm most thankful for the two of you." Dean replied.

Dean stood in the open doorway of Dorothy's room after he had finished taking care of washing the dishes and left Castiel to finish drying them. He watched her sleep, as he often did, wondering how to freeze time. She was growing up so quickly…

Although his baby girl was growing up, his cuddly girl growing into a little lady, and he didn’t want to miss any second of it, he was terrified of it as well. He wanted to see her falling in love for the first time, wanted to be there to dry her tears over her first crush, see her graduate and become the beautiful woman he knew she was going to be. But he wanted her to stay like this, this small and this innocent, for just a little bit longer. 

Having Cas at his side to help him raise her and help them both through those times had his heart swelling in his chest and it the entire prospect of Dot growing up an adventure for the three of them to tackle as a family. He smiled to himself as he thought of Cas by his side watching Dot grow up together – if anything, he thought Cas would be the one who would end up being more of a worry wart than he would be.  
Cas smiled as he came around the corner into the bedroom hallway, drying his hands on the hand towel he’d been using to dry the rest of the dishes. Dean was still leaning against the doorframe to Dot’s room, a thoughtful expression on his face and Cas stood in silence relishing how beautiful he looked in the soft glow of the room’s nightlight. 

Slowly, Cas slipped up behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Hey,” he whispered as he pulled Dean back against his chest and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his neck. He let his chin rest against Dean’s shoulder and gave him a soft squeeze. “You okay?”

Dean nodded and leaned back against Cas. "Tonight, I realized that she's not a baby anymore. I feel old and a little out of my realm. And I'm so thankful you're with me."

Cas kissed him again and hugged him close. "She's not a baby anymore, no... But she's a turning into a beautiful, smart girl. You've done such an amazing job, Dean. I’m proud of you both.”

"We’ll do an even better job together.” Dean turned around and kissed Cas softly, and Cas smiled against his lips, nodding his head. "What are we up to?" Dean asked as he pulled away, letting their foreheads rest together. 

"Let's see what should move to Lawrence and what I should sell or leave here," Cas replied, letting his arms trail down until his hand found Dean's as he pulled him away.

Dean nodded and followed after Cas, already starting to think of which things he could see fitting into the house and what to do with the rest of Cas’ things. 

Together, they went through the kitchen and living room-- deciding on keeping Cas' china and the pots and pans (since there could never be too many kitchen items), plus the living room television which they agreed to put into a playroom for Dot. Most of the furniture would stay here if the landlord wanted it, otherwise Cas decided he would donate it.  
Dotty's room would get transferred, the new bed Cas bought her being newer than the one she had at home, and since the beautiful dresser set already matched it would be worth lugging halfway across the country.  
By the time they crawled into bed, Cas felt wiped out and was more than happy to slide up beside Dean and into his arms.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and kissed his temple. "How are you feeling, Love?" he asked softly.

"I’m feeling... happy... excited... A bit nervous..." Cas answered honestly, tucking his head into the space between Dean's neck and shoulder. "Mostly excited. I am just excited that I’ll be seeing you and Dorothy every day, you know? Seeing you guys every few months hasn’t been enough for me… I miss you the moment we leave one another."

"Good. Yeah, I know what you mean…Me too." Gently, Dean slid his fingers over Cas's skin. "I'm feeling the same about being apart."

"I love you." Cas reached for Dean, wrapping his fingers around the back of his head and pulling him down for a kiss. "So, so much."

Dean kissed Cas back softly and held him close. "I love you too."


	27. Chapter 27

Now that Castiel had moved into the house with Dorothy and Dean, all of their lives were changing. Some of the changes might seem small, almost on the verge of being unnoticeable from the outside, but to Dean and his daughter, the change was huge. Especially Christmas… Dean knew their routine would change. The two of them usually spent Christmas Eve cuddled up on the couch in blankets watching Disney, The Charlie Brown Christmas Special, or Rudolph and other classics while eating nothing but Christmas cookies – except for the few they would keep out for Santa. Christmas morning would bring presents and pancakes and in the evening, they would have Christmas Dinner at Bobby’s, just the three of them. Ever since Sam had met Jessica he usually spent Christmas time with her family so Dean and Dot were happy to enjoy Bobby’s company.

This year their usual plan was going to include Castiel and his father as well. They’d already decided that dinner was going to be at their house, and although Bobby had joked that he was glad he wouldn’t have to be the one cooking this year, Dean couldn’t help but feel a little worried that Bobby was upset about the change. Another change would be Cas having a say in decorating the house and the tree and deciding what they were going to do on Christmas Eve.

Dean was both nervous and excited about seeing Christmas change. Cas and Dean were walking through the grocery store, getting the rest of the supplies they would need to make Christmas cookies and the items they could get ahead of time for a festive Christmas dinner. Dot was still at school for a few hours and once that school bell rang at three o’clock, she would be on winter break and the sugar cookie making would commence. 

Cas reached over and squeezed Dean’s hand as they walked down the baking aisle, giving him a small smile. “You okay?” Cas asked, giving him a knowing smile. 

Dean nodded, and squeezed back, "Yeah, I think so. You?" He asked and reached for a pack of colored sugar sprinkles. He could almost hear Dot’s voice in his head at the prospect of him forgetting the sprinkles. 

"I am." Cas smiled, nodding his head as he grabbed one bag each of flour and sugar and plunked them into the cart. "Really happy."

"Oh yeah, me too. Happy there's more of a family now for Dot to celebrate with."

Cas nodded his head and they finished perusing the baking aisle in comfortable silence before heading over to the dairy section. They came around a seasonal endcap and Cas stopped, chuckling as he picked up a dvd case from the rack. "The Grinch... Dad and I used to watch the Grinch every Christmas Eve!"

"You did? I haven't watched that with Dotty yet, she was too young. You think six is a good age for The Grinch?"

Cas flipped the case over in his hand and then nodded, "Yeah, I think six is good for the Grinch! I can ask Dad how old I was when we started... That's all I can remember from Christmas Eve, the Grinch and making popcorn garland for the tree."

"Good luck with that, the popcorn goes straight into Dotty's belly..." Dean laughed. Cas chuckled and reached for a bag of cranberries displayed in the center of the aisle and tossed them into the cart. "Oh, by the way, does your dad still go to church? I was thinking maybe Dotty should get at least introduced to that part of Christmas."

"Yeah, he does," Cas nodded. "We can all go if you’d like, I think Dad would really like not going alone this year." Cas gave him a small smile and once they finished getting the rest of their groceries, they moved towards the checkout.

"I would really like for us all to join your Dad." Dean smiled as they stood in line for checkout.

"Alright! I'll let him know and we’re planning on joining him. It's usually a midnight Mass on Christmas Eve... I don't think that has changed." Cas suggested as they reached the checkout area. As they unloaded the cart contents onto the conveyor belt, he continued. "I'm really excited to be spending Christmas with you guys."

Dean smiled at Cas, "Yeah, I'm really excited too. If you don’t mind I’ll call your dad and check with him about going to church."

"Yeah, of course," Cas agreed. "He’d really like that, I think."

"I think Dot would too." Dean added quietly as he helped with the rest of unloading.

They were checked out quickly, and after they loaded the car and stopped for coffee, they were on their way back home. "So," Cas said as they were bringing the groceries into the house. "What's the plan for tonight? Dotty was talking this morning about making sugar cookies... I told her we’d see, but probably. Christmas Eve is in four days, but I'm thinking between the two of you, all the home-made cookies will be gone by then and Santa will end up with Oreos!"

"Santa loves Oreos!" Dean explained with big eyes. "Santa never complained. But we'll still need to make more because we're having Christmas dinner here and our guests should be able to get some too. And because we’ll have to share with you." Dean winked.

"Oh I’m so flattered… I get cookie considerations," Cas laughed. "Though, I'd give up my cookies for another kind of sugar..."

"There're other kinds of sugar for Christmas?" Dean joked.

Cas laughed, finding Dean's lips and kissing him softly.

Dean kissed back with his hands on Cas's hips.

Dean pushed Cas backwards gently until Cas’s back hit the counter. Cas smiled against Dean's lips, while trying to push Dean away far enough to give them breathing space. "Dean?" Cas whispered. "We have about five minutes before we have to get Dotty, don't we..."

"Yes, my Love, we do," Dean agreed reluctantly, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

Cas groaned softly before pushing away. "Fine... Do you mind if I go get Dotty today?" Cas asked.

"What?" Dean asked, surprised by Cas's action. He had thought his boyfriend had meant they had to be extra quick... "No, no of course I don't mind. Her teacher knows who you are, so it’d be fine. I'll start prepping the kitchen for the sugar cookie making while you’re gone then."

Cas reached over to grab the Impala keys off the counter, before leaning into Dean once again. "Then, I think once we tire Dotty out with all of the cookie making and snowman building we're going to do before dinner, she might go to bed early. What I have planned for you will take more than five minutes."

A smirk spread over Dean's face. "That sounds promising. I can't wait." He winked and pecked Cas's lips. "See you later. Drive safe, last day of school is crazy."

“Okay. See you soon, baby!" Cas called over his shoulder as he left.

Dean smiled to himself and started putting away the groceries. When he was done, he looked for the recipe and finally sat waiting for his family, sipping coffee.

Picking up Dot should have been uneventful-- just like any other time he had picked her up. Except for the fact that since it was the last day of school before Christmas break all the other parents had decided to pick up their kids from school, instead of letting them take the bus home.

"I hope your daddy doesn't make and eat all the cookies without us..." He mused, glancing over his shoulder to smile at Dot.

"No! Daddy wouldn't do that, would he, Castiel? He doesn't know which shapes I want this year."

"No, Dotty... I don't think he would," Cas reassured her quickly and waited for a group of kids to pass in front of the Impala before he rolled forward. They'd make it to the road eventually…

Dean decided to spend the time waiting doing something useful and grabbed the phone to call Chuck. Dean smiled when he was greeted with a polite "Shirley," on the other end of the line after the third ring. 

"Hey, Chuck, it's me, Dean."

"Hey, Dean! How's it going?" Chuck asked, a smile in his voice. "How's the little princess doing?"

"All fine. The Princess is getting picked up from school by Cas, and she's probably all excited about school holidays and cookie making. How are you?"

"Oh, I can imagine. Santa's coming soon!" Chuck laughed and Dean could hear rustling through the phone. "Grandpa Santa is busy wrapping some gifts now... I think my elves went on strike."

"Oh, don't spoil her too much, okay? Anyways, why I'm calling..." Dean bit his lip.

Chuck chuckled. "You know spoiling is a grandparent’s job! What's up, Dean?"

"Cas said you're still attending church and I was thinking, since Christmas is changing for Dotty and me anyway, maybe we could all go to church together for Christmas?"

"Oh, yeah! Of course! I would really love that Dean. Thanks for thinking of me, really. I would love to have you all there with me."

Dean smiled happily at Chuck's joy over his idea. "Hey, no need to thank me. Thank you for being part of Dot's life now."

"I'm really proud of you guys," Chuck said softly, then cleared his throat. "What are the Christmas Day plans? Cas hasn't said yet. Are you... Seeing your parents? Should I come over after Santa comes?"

"We're going to have Christmas dinner at our place and I thought Cas had told you we're expecting to see you here. But you're very welcome to come for breakfast too. Dot's gonna be Skyping with her other grandparents, so it'd be Grandparents morning anyway." Dean chuckled softly.

"Alright, that sounds good to me. I'll head over around 9? Is that too early?"

"I'll have to check with your son. Dot and I will be up, but I don't know about Cas."

Chuck laughed, "You're going to have to sic Dotty on him. Unless he sets an alarm for work, my son is incapable of getting up before ten!"

"Not even for Santa? He's been off work since he's got here but he's usually up before ten. I think having to live with a school kid is changing him too, huh?" Dean laughed softly.

"My little boy's finally growing up." Chuck snorted. "Well, I'll plan on 9 and if anything changes just let me know."

"Of course we will. Oh, by the way, is there any certain type of sugar cookie that Cas loves most?"

"He likes them best on the crispy side and without frosting. Sometimes I wonder if he's truly related to me." Chuck joked.

"Oh dear God, is he even human? Frosting is the lone reason to make sugar cookies ... "Dean shook his head laughing.

“I have asked myself that question before. Hell, you know what he was like in his teens!"

"Yeah, I do… I do remember the awkward kid I fell in love with." Dean smiled fondly.

"Yeah," Chuck said softly, trailing off. "Well, I have a few more things to pick up today and then all my shopping is done so I should get going. Tell that son of mine not to be a stranger and I'll see you guys Christmas Eve for the church services."

"Yeah, my little family should be here any minute anyway, so, yeah. I'll tell Cas. And we'll see you Christmas Eve."

"Bye, Dean!" Chuck said and hung up the phone just as Cas and Dotty walked through the front door.

Dean put down the phone and grinned. He got up and held his arms open for his little girl. "Hey, Little Bear. Vacation finally!" 

"Hi, Daddy!" Dotty raced forward, throwing herself into her Dad's arms. "And yes! No school for two whole weeks!"

"Oh no!" Dean teased, "So much time to clean up your room and help with the dishes and cleaning the house."

"Or... Making sugar cookies!" She added excitedly, scrambling out of his arms and onto the countertop and clapping her hands together. "For Santa and me!"

"Oh? But what about Daddy? And Cas?" Dean looked at her mockingly shocked. Then he glanced at Cas and went over to him to kiss his cheek.

Dot eyed them both for a moment before nodding her head with a small sigh. "I can share."

"That's a relief," Cas laughed, leaning into Dean and squeezing his hip.

"Okay, everybody wash your hands, and then we can get started." Dean nudged Cas. "Your dad says ‘hi’ and said to tell you not to be a stranger."

"I'll give him a call later. Did you talk to him about Christmas Eve?" Cas asked as he sidestepped Dorothy heading to the bathroom to wash her hands.

"Yeah, I did. He's looking forward to taking us to church with him," Dean nodded. "And he's gonna come for breakfast on Christmas Day... and Christmas dinner although _somebody_ forgot to invite him... Is nine o’clock gonna’ work for you for breakfast or are you planning on sleeping in?"

Cas rolled his eyes and laughed. "I'm sure Dotty will take care of waking me up."

"I'm sorry, but she will be indisposed with raiding Christmas stockings." Dean teased.

"Oh, well, I guess I'll have to set an alarm then..." Cas sighed dramatically, reaching for Dean to pull him in. "Though, honestly, I may be more excited about this Christmas than Dot is."

"Oh I think you're definitely not the only one." Dean kissed Cas.

"I love you," Cas whispered, leaning against Dean's chest, his arms loose around his waist.

"I love you too," Dean whispered. 

Dot came back in waving her clean hands at them. "Cookies! I'm ready!" she declared.

"All right princess! Let's do this! "Cast laughed pulling away from Dean and turning to lift Dotty up and set her back up on the counter.

"Grandma sent me a Pinkie Pie cookie cutter, can we use that?" Dot asked.

Cas nodded and reached for the mixing bowls on the counter while Dean found the box of cookie cutters.

Dean set the box beside Dot and opened it. "Cas? Look… I've still got the Vader cutter you gave me."

"These are going to be the best Christmas cookies ever!” Cas started laughing holding up the cookie-cutter in his hands. "Do you still have the Yoda shape too?"

"I think so." Dean searched the box and held out the cutter. "There it is. And here's one of Hello Kitty."

"Don't we have the coolest cookie cutters, Cas?" Dotty grinned at him.

"Yes!" Cas agreed, laughing as he took one from her, flipping it over in his hands as he inspected it. "I don't know how I possibly made Christmas cookies every year without these!"

"Well… now you'll never have to make them without us again! Ever!" Dot beamed at him and Cas reached forward, pulling Dot and Dean in against his chest, hugging them tightly.

Dean huffed a small, surprised laugh. He planted a sloppy kiss on Cas’s cheek and grinned. Yes, having Cas live with them was the best Christmas present life could have given them.

"Okay... Dough won't make itself," he announced after a while. Cas chuckled and released them and Dot quickly got to work, telling them which bowl to use and informing them she was the ‘stirrer’. Cas smiled and knew there was nothing that would ever beat this.

Cas was humming to himself as he finished popping the popcorn. When Dean had told him to pop three bags, he'd thought the other man was crazy. But between the two of them and Dotty, they'd managed to demolish more than half of their popcorn stash and were already popping a fourth bag. Very little of the corn actually seemed to be making it onto the strings for garland however.

Cas chuckled to himself as he turned the bag into the bowl and carried it back into the living room. Dot was splayed out on the couch, her head resting on Dean's lap, fast asleep. Cas leaned down and gave Dean a soft kiss before lifting Dot's legs and sliding back into his spot. 

"Do you think we'll be able to wake her up for Midnight Mass?" he asked, picking up the thick needle and string he'd been working with.

Dean looked at him smiling and nodded. "She's gonna kill us if we don't wake her up. She's been talking about it a lot, plus your dad will be there and you know how she loves him. Won't be a big problem to wake her..." Dean reached into the new bowl of popcorn and put a handful in his mouth, grinning at Cas mischievously.

"You are popping the next bag!" Cas warned, nudging the bowl away from Dean with his stockinged foot, even though he was smirking. Dean chuckled and munched on the popcorn, turning his attention back to the Grinch which was playing on the TV. Although it was the second time it had been on that night, Cas was content to watch it again as he strung the individual pieces of popcorn and cranberries.

"Yes, Sir!" Dean gave Cas a mock salute. "See why Dotty and I never had a popcorn string before?" He laughed softly and reached for another baby blue Vader cookie.

Cas shook his head and threw a piece of the popcorn at Dean's head. "Yeah, yeah... I don't know how you survived without me, honestly."

"Barely, Love. So glad you're finally here to save us." Dean looked for the popcorn that had hit him and, when found, popped it into his mouth.

Cas gave him a small smile and continued on his string. He worked in comfortable silence, playfully batting Dean's hand away each time he reached for more of the popcorn, and when he was finally done, Dean slid Dot off their laps to lay on the couch, while he got up and helped Castiel hang the homemade garland strings on the brightly lit tree.

"How long do you think these will stay fresh?" Cas asked as he handed Dean a strand of the garland from the opposite side of the tree. "I mean... are they going to be soggy or moldy and gross in like a week?"

"I seriously have no idea," Dean said reaching up to drape the garland over some of the top branches. "You're the expert on popcorn strings."

Cas stared at it for a moment before shrugging. "At least if it turns green it will still match the tree." The look Dean shot him through the branches was enough of an answer and Castiel burst out laughing as he accepted the strand back once more. "I'm kidding, babe. I wouldn't make you keep a string of mold on the tree."

"You are so awful… Maybe we should have used ready popped popcorn after all, it doesn’t tend to get soggy as quickly," Dean suggested waiting for the string to be handed back to him.

"Oh yeah, Smartfood popcorn would've lasted so much longer in this house," Cas rolled his eyes and handed the string back. "You finish the bottom... I'm going to jump in the shower real quick. I'll bring down Dotty's dress. She wanted the red one, right?"

"Yes, the red. Maybe you'll find the bow for her hair too?"

"Okay," Cas agreed and kissed Dean quickly before moving up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, and stripping out of his clothes the moment he reached their bedroom. He smiled as he glanced at their bathroom sink. It was no longer separated into his side and Dean's side, their things now seemingly mixed together across the entire counter top, and the sight made Cas happier than he would ever admit. Although he had been happy and excited to move in with Dean and Dot, he didn't expect to be assimilated into their little family group as quickly as he was. 

He showered quickly, slipped into a pair of dress pants and a long-sleeved button-down and carefully knotted a dark blue tie around his neck. Hoping to make Dean’s showering a little less time-consuming he picked through Dean's closet and pulled out an outfit for him to wear before he went to Dot's room to gather her things. 

"Want me to get her ready while you shower?" Cas asked as he came back down into the living room.

"That'd be great, yeah. I love you." Dean pecked his cheek before heading upstairs to shower. As he headed through his bedroom towards the bathroom, he smiled when he saw his clothes already spread out on the bed for him. It was a sweet, loving gesture from Cas and didn't make him feel like he was a child being told what to wear. Cas knew him well and had a good taste, so it was easy to trust his choice.

Dean showered quickly and dressed, hoping Cas didn't have much trouble with Dot.

When Dean made his way back downstairs, he could hear the excited chatter of his daughter, talking happily with Cas.

"Do you think Santa will have made it here before we're even back? Do you think he'll be upset that I'm not sleeping yet, Cas? Maybe I should leave him an extra cookie and a note so he knows that I'm not being naughty or anything and that I'm just gonna be at Church..."

"I think that if Santa does get here that early, he'll know that you're not being naughty. I don't think you have a naughty bone in your body!" Cas laughed, reaching for the little one and ticking her as he pulled her close. "Nope…I don't feel any naughty bones!"

"No! No! Stop!" Dot giggled, clutching as Cas's hands and squealing every time he tickled her ribs. "No naughty bones! I promise!"

"Wait, no naughty bones? Do I need a DNA test?" Dean laughed as he came into the living room.

"No! No naughty bones, Daddy!" Dot laughed and Cas finally stopped tickling her, letting her sit in his lap. 

"Alright, alright... Let me see what I can do with this hair..."

Dean smiled and sat on the couch waiting while Cas smoothed Dot’s blond curls. hair.

"I don't know what I am doing..." an exasperated Cas whispered to Dean over his shoulder as he tried to gather all of her hair into a lumpy pony tail at the top of her head.”I think I'm making it worse..."

Dean chuckled. "Okay, hang on," he offered with a smile. "Dot, my lap. Cas, brush, please..." he instructed.

Cas gave him a grateful smile and waited for Dotty to climb up onto her father's lap before handing over the brush and the pretty hair ribbon he'd gotten from Dot's room. "Alright, show me how it's done, Hair Master."

Dean patted the spot next to him. "Sit here, padawan, and learn," he grinned and started brushing his daughter’s hair.

Cas laughed and moved from his spot on the floor to sit beside Dean, watching as he fixed the mess Cas had made with a few nearly effortless motions. When he was done, Cas let out a low whistle. "Dotty, I think you should stick with Daddy doing your hair."

"You'll learn, Cas. For her prom it'll be you doing her hair."

Cas laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

They finished getting ready and were quickly out the door. Dot carried two little gift bags full of cookies -- one for Chuck and one for the parish priest-- and was back to talking excitedly about Santa and his reindeer and wondering aloud if she would be able to see them when they finally got home as Dean buckled her into her carseat. Cas slid into the passenger seat and smiled as he listened to them talk back and forth. 

"Merry Christmas, Dean," Cas said softly as Dean slid behind the steering wheel and reached down to turn the key in the ignition. Dean smiled before leaning over to catch Cas's lips in a soft kiss. 

"Merry Christmas, Cas."


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! So we have two more chapters after this!!! Gosh, this story became something so much bigger than we had originally expected and I thank each and every one of you for coming along with us!
> 
> I am so, so sorry the updates have been off from the twice a week they were over the summer. It's completely my (lotrspnfangirl) fault and Bibi (islanderbib83) is so patient with me!! I just started nursing school and I've been going absolutely nuts and my free time has been significantly cut back. Living in two different time zones does nothing to help us, but we're almost done with 29 and know where we are going with 30!
> 
> Plus, we have many time stamps planned that we're hoping to get out soon. 
> 
> Thank you guys for being patient and leaving us love!! ♥

Dean rolled over in bed and nuzzled Cas's neck. He lifted his head to check the bedside clock and sighed lightly. They’d gotten home a little after two following Midnight Mass, and since it was Christmas morning, that didn't leave much time to linger in bed before they had to shower and prepare breakfast so they could welcome Chuck at nine. Dean rolled onto his back and sighed again.

For a few moments he listened for sounds outside their room and wasn’t too surprised to hear Dotty already in the living room playing with the Filly pony figurines she had found in her Christmas stocking.

Castiel felt Dean moving around beside him and he rolled with him, draping an arm over Dean's waist and pulling them closer together. He pressed a kiss to Dean's bare chest before resting his chin there and looking up to Dean.  
"Please tell me it's only three in the morning and we can still have a good four hours to sleep."

"Okay…It is three in the morning and we still have a good four hours to sleep," Dean said and ran his fingers through Cas's hair.

"Thank you," Cas smirked, closing his eyes and leaning into Dean's touch. "You're an awful liar though."

"How can you tell?" Dean asked, trying to stay serious.

"Because there is nothing in this world that would get you up at three in the morning except for coffee, sex and pie. All three, no substitutes, and I'm not seeing any of that right now."

"I'm not up. I'm still lying down. And... can I have the sex?" Dean smirked.

Cas laughed and shifted so that he was lying atop Dean. He leaned down, capturing his lips in a soft kiss before shaking his head. "I give Dot another thirty seconds before she realizes we’re awake and comes bounding in here begging to open her gifts. Later," he kissed him again. "Promise."

"How's she going to notice we're up? She's downstairs and we can be quiet as mice ..." Dean pouted. He kissed Cas softly, before he relented. "But sadly, that doesn’t matter anyways because we have to get up, your dad and Bobby are gonna be here at nine."

"Let me go put on some coffee." Cas pulled off of him, setting his feet on the floor just as the bedroom door flew open and Dot bolted in, her hands full of candy and toys from her stocking.  
"Santa came! Santa came! Cas! Can I eat my candy?" She clambered up onto the bed, holding out a Marshmallow Santa and practically vibrating with excitement.  
"Told you," Cas laughed over his shoulder. "I think you can pick ONE piece, but the rest is for later. Come help me make some coffee and breakfast so that Daddy isn't a zombie."

"When the ‘eff’ did you become the morning person, Castiel?" Dean shook his head and crawled out of bed. "I'm going to take a shower."

Cas rolled his eyes and smirked as he lifted Dorothy off the bed. "Daddy might need some of that candy this morning, princess. Seems like he could use some sweetness..."

"I'm very sweet." Dean stuck his tongue out at the two of them before slipping into the bathroom.

Cas chuckled and carried Dot back downstairs, setting her on the countertop as he pulled the coffee canister down from the cupboard. "I better make a full pot... between your Daddy and mine? We're going to need it!"

Dean enjoyed the spray of hot water washing away the groggy remnants of sleep. After shaving and dressing he traipsed downstairs and joined Cas and Dorothy in the kitchen. "Hey, family…" he grinned.

"Morning," Cas grinned back, pressing a mug of hot black coffee into Dean's hands and a kiss to his lips. "Dad is on his way."

Dean sipped from the cup with a thankful smile. "Then…I'll start on the bacon while you shower, and our little Princess will help set the table, right?"

"Then can we open presents, Daddy?" the little one pouted and Cas bit back a laugh as he slipped past Dean for the shower.

"We’ll wait for Chuck and Uncle Bobby, okay?" Dean replied softly. "But Cas is gone, we could at least be sneaky and eat cookies," he suggested with a wink.

Dot gasped in delight at his suggestion and let out a giggle as her Daddy placed her back down on the floor. "We should still save him one, Daddy!"

"We’ll save cookies, alright. We're not eating them all." Dean pulled a frying pan from the cabinet and went to get the bacon from the fridge.

Dorothy opened the silverware drawer and counted out forks for all of them as well as spoons and butter knives. She carried them over to the table and arranged them at each place setting.  
When every piece looked like it was in the right spot she returned to her father’s side.

"Daddy? Can you get me the plates, please?” As she waited she beamed over at their cheerful breakfast table, “Do you think Uncle Chuck and Uncle Bobby will like our Christmas placemats, Daddy? I love all the cute, little snowmen on them. "

“I’m sure they’ll love them too, honey. You did a good job shopping and picking them out for everybody.” Dean opened the overhead cabinet and counted out five plates and handed them to his daughter. "There you go, Princess."

"Thank you!" Dotty smiled and carried the plates carefully into the dining room to finish setting the rest of the table. Cas appeared downstairs, dressed and ready, just as Chuck knocked on the front door and pushed it open.

"Merry Christmas, Chuck! Good Morning," Dean greeted from the kitchen while Dot shot out into the hall.

"Merry Christmas!" Chuck called out, carrying an armful of presents. Cas hurried over to take them from his father and laughed when he caught a glimpse of the Christmas sweater his father was wearing. It was bright red with a large, knitted belt around his middle, and white faux fur around the collar and wrists making him look like Santa.

Dorothy skidded to a halt and looked at Chuck with huge eyes. "I know you're not Santa. I'm already six!" she insisted, but still eyed his sweater rather warily.

Chuck winked at her and leaned down over her to whisper. "Well…I brought presents and I like cookies a lot, doesn't that count for something?"

"I like cookies too. Can I be lil’ Miss Santa?" Dot grinned conspiratorially.

"I can't imagine anyone else filling the spot!" Chuck replied, reaching down with one arm to scoop her up. He carried her into the kitchen and stopped to give Dean a quick hug before he set her back down.  
Dean pointed over to the fresh pot of coffee and Chuck laughed. "Oh, you're a saint!"

"Actually, Cas is the saint. Cas started the pot for both of us." Dean winked and put the already fried bacon on a plate and before sliding more into the pan.

"I knew I raised him right," Chuck chuckled as he gratefully poured himself a mug. "So what do you say, little one? Breakfast and then presents?”

"Okay..." Dot agreed somewhere between pouting and excited. "But… can I open just one already? Just one teeny tiny one?"

"I bet we can get your Daddy to let us eat breakfast in the living room if we look at him real sad… or maybe we can give him some of our cookies as a bribe…..and then we’ll be that much closer to opening the presents. What do you think, little Miss Santa?"

"Cas! Help me …" Dean called out in a pleading, whiny little voice. "Your dad is teaching our daughter naughty little tricks on how to manipulate me!" he made sure his voice showed he was just teasing.

Cas laughed and joined them in the kitchen. “As if our little angel needs any help in that department! I think she already has her men wrapped around those little pinkies all by herself.” Grinning at Dean, he added, “Besides he probably learned them from me when I was little ….and I turned out okay. Right?”

Dean sighed overdramatically. "Guess you got a point there... Be a gem and transfer the place settings to the living room?"

Cas carefully stacked the plates and rolled up each placemat with its silverware pieces trapped inside before carrying everything into the living room. Chuck grabbed the TV tables from beside the entertainment center and as he set them up Cas laid out each their placemats and settings. He set up Dot’s dining spot on the coffee table with huge pillows for her to sit on, where she could be close to the shimmering Christmas tree much to her delight.

After blessing the new eating arrangements with her happy nod of approval, Dotty tugged excitedly at Chuck’s hand. "Do you wanna see what was in my stocking, Uncle Chuck?" She offered as she guided him towards her little jumbled pile of treats.

"Course I do! Was Santa good to you?" Chuck asked as he followed her. 

Cas smiled watching his father with Dotty and threw a look over his shoulder to catch Dean's eyes.

Dean couldn't help his goofy grin. It wasn't as if their past Christmases with Bobby had been bad in any way, but this, right now, this enlarged family scene made him incredibly happy.  
They were actually a family… Dotty had two more people to love her unconditionally. They were only starting their family life of course, but still it was awesome. The only thing they were missing now was Bobby himself… Dean bit his lower lip for a second, wondering if he should call the older man and make sure he was on his way when the front door opened and Bobby’s gruff voice rang out.

“You better not have eaten all the damned bacon!” 

Dean laughed, half in relief, half in amusement. "It's Christmas. You know I share on special occasions."

Bobby laughed, stamping his feet free of clinging snow and hung his jacket and hat by the door. "Get over here!" he demanded and pulled Dean into a tight hug. "Merry Christmas, Dean."

"Merry Christmas, Bobby. Thank you for everything you do for us all the time," Dean added as he hugged his friend and borrowed father in tight to his chest.

"Alright, alright, enough of this mushy stuff. Where's my little girl?"

"Living room," Dean told him and went back to his bacon frying task.

Bobby picked up the laundry basket full of presents he'd carried in and made his way into the living room. Cas took the basket from him to put under the tree so Bobby could catch Dotty as she flung herself at him.

"Uncle Bobby! You're here! Did you see Santa came?"

Dean laughed hearing his daughter’s bright enthusiasm. He plopped another batch of buttered toast into the basket and added the last pieces of bacon to the plate, before finally making his way into the living room with a heavily laden tray.

"Should I grab the jug of orange juice and coffee?" Castiel asked, meeting Dean at the doorway. Dean gave him a nod and Cas slipped past him back into the kitchen. Together, they served the rest of the group, dishing out the eggs, bacon, and toast and pouring everyone their drinks. When Cas sank down on the couch between his father and Dorothy, he smiled. It had been far too long since he'd spent Christmas day comfortable and in a house...

Although he tried not to think too much about it, this was a huge contrast compared to the rather proper Christmases Balthazar and he had spent at Balt's family home, in button-ups and ties. He felt a small pang of sadness at the fact that Balt would probably be spending Christmas night alone this year -- when the two of them used to rent the cheesiest Christmas movies and pig out on frozen pizza in their underwear to make as big of a contrast to their day as they could-- unless his new relationship had held out so far.

Dot leaned against him, breaking him out of his thoughts. "I'm glad you're here with us Cas," she sighed, happily and picked up a piece of bacon to start eating. Cas smiled and looked across the couch to meet Dean's eyes.

"Me too, Dotty. Me too."

Dean felt guilty about Cas starting on the dishes on his own while Dean was setting up the Skype connections for Dot to visit with each set of her grandparents. They called Ashleigh's parents first, and of course Dean exchanged a few words with them as well before excusing himself to assist in the kitchen.

Cas smiled as he heard Dean enter behind him and he turned to accept the kiss Dean gave him. "Did you wish your folks a ‘Merry Christmas’?" he asked, rinsing off a soapy plate before setting it in the dishrack.

Dean grabbed the towel and started drying the plates Cas had already done. "It's Ashleigh's parents she's talking to at the moment. But I wished them Merry Christmas."

"Oh!" Cas handed Dean another dish and dug around in the dishwater for the silverware resting at the bottom. "I'm glad she gets to talk to them."

"Yeah, me too." Dean stacked the plates on the counter. "She also gets to see them twice a year. They come here for a week around Ashleigh's birthday and again for the anniversary of her death," Dean murmured, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

Cas released the silverware, before grabbing a hand towel, quickly drying his hands and turning his attention towards Dean completely. "I'm sorry, Dean," he whispered softly, reaching for Dean's hands and taking them in his own. "I don’t think I ever told you how bad I feel about what happened to Ashleigh... and you."

They hadn't talked about it much-- but it was clear Dean had cared for her. They’d had a life together, a family, and then in a cruel twist of fate it was taken from them. Cas was sure that in some way, he had Ashleigh to thank for the Dean he had before him now. All grown up and ready for a serious relationship.

"Thank you, Cas," Dean replied low and looked down with a small sigh. "Sorry... Sorry, I didn't mean to..." Dean shook his head to shake off the sad mood that had suddenly overcome him.

Cas reached forward, cupping Dean's cheek and pulling him in for a soft kiss. "I wish I could have met her," he added softly, meeting Dean's eyes with a small smile. "I’m sure I would have liked her."

"Yeah, probably," Dean replied with a small smile. "Dotty has a lot of her looks though. Her hair's exactly like her mother's...and some of her mannerisms." Dean gently pulled his hands from Cas's and returned to drying the dishes.

"Well, we should be grateful for that," Cas teased, bumping Dean's shoulder with his own before he reached back into the soapy water. They could hear Dorothy chatting away excitedly, running back and forth across the living room to pick up a toy to show her grandparents.

Once they were done, Dean hung the towel on the hook to dry. "Want a glass of eggnog?" he asked as he wrapped his arm around Cas's waist.

"Sure," Cas smiled at him, drying his hands again on the towel. "Should I meet you in the living room?"

"Yeah, I'll get a glass for everyone. Hey, can you dial my parents’ number for her?" Dean smiled at Cas and grabbed the eggnog carton from the fridge and moved to get everyone glasses. 

"Sure, no problem," Cas gave him a smile and left Dean to get them all drinks. Bobby and Chuck were both sitting on the couch, with their heads tipped back, asleep. Cas chuckled to himself, at their apparent snoring contest.

"Hey, Princess," Cas said as he knelt down beside his favorite little angel. "Did you have fun talking to your grandparents?"

"Yes! They said that they were going to come and see me soon and Grammy wants to take me shopping for whatever I want!"

"Well, that will be fun!" Cas laughed, putting his arm around the back of her chair and leaning over to kiss the top of her head. "Do you want to call your other grandparents now? I think they're probably waiting to hear from you." Dot nodded happily and leaned back further onto the chair, giving Cas enough room to get to the keyboard and mouse. He made a few clicks and soon the sound of Skype dialing could be heard.

"I don't see anything!" Dorothy complained, peering at the computer screen.

"Hold on... I'll fix it..." Cas bit down on his lower lip, trying to find out where the image had gone.

Out in the kitchen Dean put the bottle on a tray and got four glasses for Bobby, Chuck, Castiel and himself. Then he started to make a Vanilla shake for Dorothy, so she could drink with them.

"Dorothy!" The sound of Mary Winchester replaced the ringing and Cas froze for a second, eyes darting up to the screen.

"Um, one second Mrs. Winchester... The screen isn't... There!" Cas found the right button and suddenly the screen was flooded with the wide eyes of Mary and John Winchester staring at their computer screen, and at the image of Castiel.

"Grammy! Grandpa!" Dorothy squealed excitedly, launching herself forward and waving frantically at the camera. "Thank you, Cas!"

Castiel gave her a smile and then nodded at the screen once before turning away, trying not to shrink back at the heat of their gazes on his retreating form.

"Cas? Castiel?" Mary whispered to her husband. "Was that Castiel Shirley?"

Before John could reply Dotty answered. "That's Cas, Grammy! He's my new other Daddy. He lives with us now and he and Daddy were married but I don't know if they are now. They kiss and stuff... Does that make them married?"

Castiel tripped as he ran back into the kitchen.

"Cas? Cas, you okay?" Dean asked. “Did something happen?” He had just been on his way to the living room.

"Oh, my God, Dean! Dot just told your parents that I'm her other new daddy," Cas whispered, leaning back against the wall. "And even though it's been... eleven years? Your Dad scares the crap out of me… still."

"Shit." Dean whispered. He set the tray back on the table and took Cas' hand. "I'm sorry, Cas. So sorry. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I had kept our life pretty private from them. But no matter what they think, Cas, this time they can't make me abandon you. I promise." He kissed Cas softly.

Cas swallowed once, giving Dean a tight smile. "Yeah," he whispered, suddenly feeling sick. "Why don't you...umm… go and give everyone their drinks. I'll be right there. I have to check..." he trailed off, pointing over Dean's shoulder and pushed off of the wall, crossing the room to stand back over at the sink.

Dean moved behind Cas and rubbed his back. "Please come back to us soon." He placed a gentle kiss on Cas's neck. "I'll go try do some damage control, okay?"

"Dean?" Cas whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. He could hear Dot once again talking animatedly to her grandparents, Mary laughing and chatting with her, John's calm, firm voice making a comment every few moments, and it made Cas's stomach twist.

Dean moved to his side and slid their hands together, squeezing Cas gently as he waited.

"What if... what if they're not happy, Dean? What if they don't like that we're back together, that I'm here? Last time..." he stopped, shaking his head.

"It won't change a thing between us. All the contact I still have with them is only thanks to my little girl. They won't take it out on her, and I don't care if they never talk to me again. Please, don't worry about them, please..." Dean urged softly.

Cas nodded and turned, Dean opening his arms as he did so and Cas immediately melted into them. "It's hard not to worry," he muttered against Dean's chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly. "But I'll try."

"I know... Come on, let's go by your dad and Bobby." Dean kept Cas tight against his side.

Cas’s fingers pulled at the back of Dean's shirt to keep him close. Dean kissed him gently and ran his fingers through Cas' hair, causing Cas to gasp against Dean's lips and lean into him completely, letting the heat of Dean's body comfort him.

Dean loosened his hold slightly, still comforting Cas. He started feeling guilty that he hadn't talked to his parents about this earlier to avoid this nasty situation. But on the other hand he didn't owe his parents anything.

"Alright," Cas said after another moment. "Let's go join everyone. I'm okay."

"Alright," Dean nodded. He let go of Cas slowly and then moved to retrieve the tray with their drinks.

Cas followed behind Dean as they made their way back into the living room and Dean headed straight to the couch and set the tray before the two older men.

"Thanks, Dean!" Chuck said as he reached for one and shifted over on the couch to give Cas room to sit.

"You're welcome," Dean smiled before leaning down to kiss Cas on the cheek. "Gonna’ go check on Dot ..." he said quietly.

Cas nodded and gave Dean a reassuring smile before he sunk down beside his Dad and reached for his own glass of eggnog grateful for the liquor hidden in its depths.

Dean went over to his daughter, who was still chatting on the computer with her grandparents.

"Merry Christmas, Mom, Dad," he said more cheerful than he actually felt.

"Merry Christmas, Dean," Mary smiled at him and turned to look over at John. Dean unknowingly held his breath waiting for his father to say anything.

“Didn’t know when you said you were in a relationship that it was… this serious,” John said, meeting Dean’s eyes over the camera. “Sammy didn’t say much of anything about it either, kind of funny.”

“Yeah … I guess.” Dean forced a smile. 

“Dot seems to really like him.”

“I do, Grandpa!” Dorothy exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her Dad’s arm. “He’s nice and funny and he let me eat candy this morning from my stocking before breakfast!”

“Yeah … he’s spoiling her a bit … But he’s doing really good on the being a ‘dad’ front.” Dean kissed Dotty’s temple. “He’s the best thing that could happen to me and Dot.”

Mary cleared her throat and John sat back in his chair, pursing his lips slightly, but thankfully fell silent. “Well,” Mary said softly. “You know we’ve always just wanted you to be happy, Dean.”

“Daddy is very happy!” Dot nodded seriously. “He’s always smiling and he sings when he makes dinner and he gets Uncle Bobby yelling at him all of the time for being a… a ‘loved stick fool’ cause he likes to call Cas a lot.”

“Hey, Dot! You’re not ‘posed to tell anyone those things,” Dean laughed.

“I think this conversation isn’t appropriate for Christmas,” John said, his voice low and rough, but Dean couldn’t tell for the life of him what his father was thinking at that moment. “Why don’t you get back to your Christmas. I’m sure Bobby’s there, tell the old man I said hello.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right, Dad. I’ll tell him you said ‘Hello’. Have a nice Christmas,” Dean nodded.

“Merry Christmas, Dorothy. We’ll see you soon, okay?” John turned his attention to his granddaughter and gave her a wide smile. 

“Okay, Grandpa!” 

“We’ll see you no later than at the Wedding,” Dean smiled, mostly at his mother. “Bye.”

“Bye, Grammy!” Dot waved and Mary gave her a wave back. 

“Merry Christmas, baby girl, we miss you. And Dean?” Mary flicked her eyes to Dean’s. “Merry Christmas to you and Castiel, too.”

“I’ll tell him. He’ll appreciate it.” Dean nodded lightly, thankful for his mother’s wishes. He could have sworn she even smiled at him when she’d mentioned Cas. 

Mary blew them a kiss as John stepped away from the computer and Dean reached forward to shut the program down. 

“I miss them, Daddy,” his daughter sighed, leaning into her Dad’s chest. 

“You do?” Dean asked a little surprised by Dorothy’s statement. Dorothy nodded and slid off of the chair, reaching up to take her Dad’s hand in her own. 

“But I’m glad I have Grandpa Chuck.” She paused and looked up. “Can I call him Grandpa Chuck?”  


Dean took his daughter’s hand and stood up, grinning touched that she would want that.. “Why don’t you just ask him yourself?” 

Dorothy nodded once and when they reached the living room she jumped onto Chuck’s lap. “I’m going to call your Grandpa Chuck, okay?” 

Chuck almost choked on his eggnog, but when he looked down at Dorothy the entire room could tell how pleased he was with the exclamation. 

“I would love nothing more, princess.”


	29. Chapter 29

“Dotty!” Cas laughed, trying to hold onto the squirming seven-year-old still. “I might end up poking you with this bobby pin if you don’t hold still!”

The little girl was practically vibrating with excitement but she took a deep breath, holding it as she tried to stay still so Cas could fix the rest of her hair. Jessica had come to their room after the rehearsal dinner last night and rolled the little girl’s hair up on soft curlers, but was too busy now getting her own hair done to finish her flower girl’s hairdo. That left Cas in charge of little princess hair duty. He’d come a long way in the past year and a half, but Dean was still much better in the hair department. 

_‘Probably why he’s helping Sam…’_ Cas snorted to himself and settled the last bobby pin into place, making sure the crystal flower on the end was facing outward. 

“Alright… all set, Princess,” Cas patted her shoulder and Dot slid from his lap, racing over to the mirror to twirl around gracefully in front of it, admiring her pretty white dress. 

“How do I look, Cas?” she asked, spinning back to him, a huge smile on her face, showing off two of her newest empty spaces on her bottom row of teeth. 

“You look beautiful, Dotty. Now, think you can help me with my hair?” 

Her bright green eyes lit up and she ran back over, letting Cas pick her up so she could stand on the hotel’s bathroom countertop. He handed her a comb and let his eyes fall closed, letting her get to work.

“Dean! Dean, stop that! My hair is just fine!” Sam groaned.

“Oh… Come on, Sammy. Jess is getting her hair done all beautiful, so you should at least let me brush it,” Dean groused.

“I can brush my own hair. You’re supposed to … I don’t know. See that my tie is straight and there’s no lint on my suit.”

“Okay, Bitch, I’ll behave…” Dean promised.

Dean had stayed overnight in Sam’s room, making sure he didn’t start a drinking habit out of nervousness. They had stayed up late watching silly TV shows and rehearsing Sam’s vows. Even reciting them to Dean had made the normally articulate younger man stumble over his words. He got better with each time they were repeated, but after hearing them for the seventh time, Dean had given up and they had finally settled for the night.

Sam had been too nervous to nibble more than toast for breakfast so Dean had followed his lead and simply downed coffee and toast. Taking turns in the bathroom they were finally dressing for the ceremony.

“Okay, so, do you want to try it again now?” Dean suggested while he buttoned up his shirt.

“Huh?” Sam asked a little confused.

“Your vows?” Dean clarified.

“Oh... No, I think I’ve got them down pat. And if not…? Well, if all fails I can just ad-lib, right?”  
Sam babbled nervously. “That’s okay at my own wedding, isn’t it? It’s all about my feelings for Jess.”

“Yes. It definitely is okay,” Dean nodded. “So? You all ready to get to the church, little brother?” Dean asked and adjusted Sam’s tie.

“Yep, let’s get this done.” Sam nodded.

Cas handed Dotty over to her grandparents when they reached the church, surprised when Mary gave him a quick hug and thanked him for bringing Dot over from the hotel. John stared at him, his expression impassive, and Cas gave him a quick nod before turning and disappearing into the church to find himself a seat. As Sam’s best man Dean would be standing with the groom near the altar while Dotty would be walking down the aisle as the flower girl.

“Castiel!” came a stage whisper, from the groom’s family seating area.

Cas looked up and saw Bobby waving him over to one of the first rows. Bobby had always shown a fondness for Cas and as usual was looking out for the younger man. Cas smiled and gratefully slid into the pew beside him. 

“You’re family, boy, you belong here,” Bobby whispered with a reassuring pat on the shoulder. 

Meanwhile Dean had driven his brother to the church and together they went to greet their parents and Dot. As they approached the Winchesters, Dotty gave them a happy wave. Giggling she spun around in a quick circle to model her new look for Dean and Sam.

“Oh, Wow! Princess, you look so beautiful! I love your hair.” Dean hugged his daughter and kissed her cheek. “Did you have a good time on your ‘special sleepover’ last night?”

“Yes!” she grinned, hugging her Dad carefully so she wouldn’t wrinkle her pretty dress. “Cas and I had a camp out in our hotel room since you weren’t there, Daddy. We ordered ice cream on the phone and a man knocked on the door and delivered it like pizza!” she giggled. “Then we watched a whole season of Teen Titans on the special movie channel! Auntie Jessica even came to visit and curled my hair before I went to bed. After we had our pancakes this morning Cas made my hair all curly for me. He even got these pretty hairpins with little flowers, see?” She leaned forward, showing off her hair pins. 

“They’re so pretty. He’s done a great job with your pretty curls, princess. And an entire season? Did you get any sleep at all?”

Dorothy shrugged and pulled away from her Daddy and reached for her Grammy’s hand. “I asked Cas if I could have one for you if you want it, Grammy!” Dot opened up her small fist and held out one of the hairpins to her grandmother.

“Oh!” Mary said, taking it from her small hand and holding it near her own carefully coiffed hair, “Thank you very much, sweetheart! Do you want to help me put it in my hair?”

Dean smiled watching them. “Okay. Sammy? Time to go inside,” he nudged his brother. “I’ll see you guys later,” he said as he hugged his mother and daughter quickly, nodded at his father and then let Sam take his turn for hugs before he finally ushered him inside.

In the sunlit church interior, time seemed to be crawling by very slowly as everyone watched the rear doors and waited for the groom to appear, marking the beginning of the ceremony. People were getting a little antsy, especially Bobby Singer. “How long do you think it’ll be ‘til we can get some grub?” Bobby grunted, leaning over and bumping Cas with his shoulder. Cas snorted, bumping him back. 

“I warned you about needing to eat a good breakfast. I don’t think the reception starts until 2…”

“You mean we’ll be in church for three hours?” Bobby turned to him in dismay, his voice louder than he’d intended. Cas shushed him gently when the woman behind them frowned. 

“No, I doubt it will take that long,” Cas grinned as he saw Dean and Sam move into the rear of the main aisle and begin their trek to the altar.

Dean smiled as he spotted Cas and Bobby. “Be right with you,” he told Sam and went over to Cas. “Hey, Love. Good job with the littlest angel’s hair,” he said before quickly giving him a peck on the lips.

Cas chuckled, “Good, I had no idea what I was doing! How’s Sam?” 

“Nervous, but doing a good job of covering it up.” Dean smiled.

“He’s going to do fine,” Cas said softly before adding, “Just tell him I said there’s no one that’s ever looked more gorgeous than Jessica, he’s a lucky man.”

“I’ll tell him,” Dean smiled and squeezed Cas’s hand. “I’ll see you later.”

Beside him, Bobby snorted. 

“What?” Cas asked him, nudging him gently. 

“I assume you two’ll be next in line and I’ll have to squeeze into this monkey suit again.” 

“Don’t worry, Bobby,” Cas laughed and shook his head. “Technically we’re already married.” 

Bobby eyed him carefully. “Thought you two signed those papers?” Cas nodded and gave him a small smile. Rolling his eyes, Bobby turned away from him and looked back up to the front of the church. “You’re all a bunch of idjits anyways,” he said, smiling and Cas just chuckled. 

Dean quickly joined his brother near the altar. “Cas said to tell you, he’s never seen anyone looking more gorgeous than Jessica.”

Sam smiled and turned to see where Cas was sitting and smiled at him thankfully. “I think I’m going to vomit,” he whispered as he turned his attention back to Dean. “Do you think she would forgive me if I threw up?”

“No! Oh, God, Sammy, don’t vomit! She won’t forgive you. Most of all, do not, _I repeat do not,_ vomit on her dress!” Dean whispered back in a panic. 

Sam’s eyes widened almost comically at that mental image and he nodded quickly, straightening out his tux. 

“I can do this. Right? Right, Dean?” Sam whispered frantically.

“You can do it, Sam. Just remember, she’s still the same Jessica that you’ve been dating for … how long’s it been now? Forever? You can do it. I’ve got your back, little brother.” 

Just then the sanctuary door squeaked open and the smiling minister came to join the brothers, nodding cheerfully as he took his place.

Sam nodded, exhaling slowly and smiling at Dean to let his brother know he was good, until the music started and Sam instantly paled again. “It’s eleven?” he whispered, fisting the bottom of his jacket. “Oh God, Dean… what if she doesn’t come? What if she changed her mind? What if I do vomit on her dress or screw up my vows?” Suddenly, patting at his pockets, he babbled “Oh, no… did I forget the rings?!”

“Jesus Christ, Sammy. I’ve got the rings…” Dean hissed. “Come on…Take a breath. Take a deep breath. Now turn around and look at the beautiful girl walking down the aisle, only to become your beautiful wife. Can you do that for me?” Dean laid his hand on the small of Sam’s back.

Dean turned to see his mother slipping into the row with Cas and Bobby, choosing to sit directly next to Castiel in the front row reserved as always for the groom’s immediate family. 

Sam nodded and exhaled once more, letting go of all the stress he had been holding and turned to face the aisle, just as his father acted as an usher and escorted Jessica’s mother down the aisle, a smile on her face. She winked at Sam when she reached the front and slid into the front row on the opposite side of the church.

Both Sam and Jessica had elected to have a small wedding party, requesting only the presence of Sam’s brother as Best Man and Jess’s sister as Maid-of-Honor. Now Jessica’s sister, Molly, glided down the aisle, walking beside Dotty who was beaming and tossing pink and white rose petals out of the basket she was carrying. When they reached Sam and Dean, Molly took Dot’s hand and they stood off to the side, the little flower girl paused to wave quickly at her Daddy before moving to her spot. 

Then the music changed and Sam stiffened, eyes widening as he watched Jessica and her father arm-in-arm stepping gracefully down the aisle.

Dean felt a chill watching Jess walk down the aisle and he could only imagine how Sam must be feeling. He looked at his own small daughter who was beaming and watching Jessica like she was a real princess. Today, she was. Dean felt his eyes mist as Jess’s father took her small hand and placed it in Sam’s much larger one. Her father kissed her cheek and smiled at Sam before moving to join Jess’s mother.

The Minister went through the ceremony at a surprisingly reasonable pace, easily moving things along until Sam and Jessica were holding hands and speaking their vows to one another before the entire assembly. 

Cas smiled as he heard Sam pause a few times, as he lovingly rolled through the words Dean had told him Sam must have recited at least a dozen times, just to make sure they were right. Although he couldn’t see Jessica’s face, he could hear the emotion in her voice and knew she had tears shining in her eyes as she spoke her own vows back to Sam. 

When they were pronounced ‘Husband and Wife’, Dot lit up with a huge smile and threw the rest of her flower petals at the couple as they kissed until she realized what they were doing and then she turned her head quickly away, her eyes closed and nose scrunched up. Cas could just imagine the soft ‘ew!’ inside her head and he had to bite back a laugh as he watched her. When the newlyweds moved down the aisle, Cas stood with Mary and Bobby, clapping and cheering for them. 

Mary slipped her hand into Cas’s, squeezing gently, and Cas turned to her not bothering to hide the surprise on his face. 

“I’m sorry, Castiel,” she whispered, giving him a sad smile. “I’m so sorry that your own wedding to my son wasn’t just like this. I love Dean, his happiness means the world to me, and I regret not always remembering that and losing the relationship I once had with both of my sons because of it.” She paused, giving his hand another squeeze. “It’s obvious, even after all these years as you two have come together again, that this was meant to be. And though John is too stubborn and proud to admit that we were wrong, I am not.

“You make my son happy, Castiel. I apologize for the part I played in delaying your happiness as well as Dean’s. I just hope that the two of you can eventually forgive us and let us be a part of your lives once again.” 

Stunned by Mary’s admission Castiel stared back at her, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. Behind him, Bobby shifted uncomfortably and seized the first chance he got to push out into the aisle and wait for Cas there. 

“I…” 

“It’s okay, Castiel,” Mary patted his cheek and released his hand. “You don’t have to answer me. You don’t owe me or my husband anything. I just wanted you to know that I’m so glad you and Dean found each other once more and that we’ll both support you… like we should have done before. Now,” she straightened out her skirt and pushed on Castiel’s shoulder gently to turn him around. “We have pictures to take and a party to attend.”

Dean waited for Cas at the church door, tilting his head in worry and confusion as he saw the expression on his boyfriend’s face as he moved towards the exit.

“Hey, Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked quietly as he hooked arms with Cas. Mary nodded at them and slipped out of the doors to find John, who was waiting at the bottom of the church steps with their little granddaughter in his arms.

“I…” Cas shook his head, giving a small laugh. “Later… In the car.” He gave Dean’s arm a squeeze and together they moved to the side of the church where the photographer and Sam and Jess were waiting. Dean pulled his brother in for a hug and then kissed Jessica on the cheek, pulling back to let Cas do the same and then the rest of the couple’s family members joined them. 

The photographer was relatively quick getting the pictures taken--probably since their wedding party was so small-- and Dean was grateful for that. Not only was he starving, but he was itching to know what had caused that expression on Cas’s face as he’d walked out of the ceremony… 

When all of the poses had been photographed, Dean took Cas’ hand and together they walked away from the church toward the Impala. Since Dot was riding to the reception with her grandparents, Cas slipped into the front seat with Dean. He waited until Dean started the car before he spoke. 

“Your mom apologized to me,” he blurted out.

“What? Uh, She… apologized? For…” Dean shook his head confused. “What did she say?”

“That she regretted not supporting you, essentially. That she regretted the way it changed your relationship with me …and with them,” Cas sighed softly, reaching over to take Dean’s hand. “She said she supports our relationship and... she misses you, Dean…”

Dean gulped and looked at Cas with wide, suddenly moist eyes. “Really? That’s what she said? Oh… I…” he exhaled with a small, surprised ‘Ha!’. “That’s kind of awkward, actually.”

Cas nodded and gave a short laugh. “Well, definitely unexpected. She said… she said your dad felt the same about it… too.” Cas shrugged his shoulders and leaned his head back against the seat. “Now’s not really the time to talk about it with them but maybe… maybe we should have dinner with them or something…”

Dean took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, we should. We should maybe do that tomorrow, get that over with as soon as possible.”

Cas laughed and shook his head. “We can ask them tonight,” he agreed, then changing the subject he added, “I’m really happy for Sam and Jess.”

“Me too. So happy. He managed those vows okay, didn’t he?” 

“Yeah, he did really well,” Cas smiled. They drove the rest of the way in a comfortable silence, Cas’ hand never leaving Dean’s.

When Dean and Cas stepped inside the banquet hall, Dot was already waiting for them and ran up to them.  
"I already found our name cards, Daddy!" She babbled excitedly, “Grandma said we get to sit at the big table with Aunt Jess and Uncle Sam and Grandma and Grandpa and Jessica's mom and dad and Molly. I saw our cards right by our forks and spoons, Papa. Uncle Sam and Jess aren’t here yet but Grandma says it's ‘cuz they're still taking photos of just them, but they’re gonna be here soon."

"Thank you, sweetie. Daddy and I were just wondering where we would get to sit." Cas bent low to give her a hug and the little girl beamed at him. "Well, after they get here, you can take some of your own photos of Jess in her pretty dress and Uncle Sam in his tuxedo. Your Daddy bought a special camera just for you so you can take your own pictures.”

Dotty gasped in surprise and clapped her hands happily, “Really, Daddy?! That is so cool!”

Cas continued, “Daddy thought you might want to do your own photo album. So now you can be a photographer just like the man at church, and then we can get the film developed on Monday."

"Developed?" Dotty frowned, puzzled by the new word. 

"Yes, ‘developed’... There's a special film ribbon in the camera box, little bear, and it gets taken out at the store and the pictures you take are put on shiny photo paper," Dean tried to explain the process to his 7-year-old daughter.

"So the pictures don't just pop up on the computer like with Papa's camera?" she asked.

Cas's heart swelled at the name and he didn't bother fighting back the grin spreading across his face. Dot had been bouncing back and forth between using a few different titles for him, but more recently she'd settled for Cas or Papa, leaning towards the latter of the two most often. It made Cas feel something warm surge inside of him every single time he heard her say it.

"No, they don’t, kiddo... It's a very special little camera." Dean smiled and pulled the camera from his pocket. "I'll show you how it works, okay?"

Dean leaned down close as he handed her the camera. Cas gently laid his palm on Dean's back and as a family they huddled together, with Dot looking at her camera as Dean pointed out which buttons to use and how to see through the little viewfinder. 

"Thank you so much, Daddy," she hugged Dean tight. "I'm gonna go show my camera to Grammy!" She declared proudly and dashed away to find her grandmother.

Cas chuckled and leaned against Dean’s side. “Do you have your little speech and wedding toast all ready to go?” Cas asked him. 

“Yeah, but … do I really have to? I hate talking in front of so many people you know that….” Dean complained.

Cas shook his head fondly, adding “That’s what happens when you’re the best man!” He playfully bumped Dean’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Sam and Jess are both going to love anything you have to say.”

“Yeah… I hope so.” Dean smiled. “I’ve got you there… that helps...”

“Always,” Cas whispered, leaning over to kiss Dean softly. “Let’s go and find our seats.” 

Dean smiled and nodded. “Yes, let’s do that. I hope they get here soon. I want a beer… and I’m hungry.” 

Cas rolled his eyes affectionately and moved towards the main table. Just as Dotty had said they quickly found the special name cards by their place settings. Cas slid into his seat beside Dean who was seated on Sam’s immediate right. Dot would sit beside Cas and then John and Mary Winchester were next to her. Jessica’s parents and sister and brother-in-law were at the opposite end of the table next to Jess’s seat. Castiel leaned forward to move his marker closer to his water glass and leaned back into his chair. 

“Pretty fancy, huh? Do you regret we didn’t get to do this?” Dean asked as he laid his arm across the back of Cas’s chair.

Without hesitation, Cas shook his head no. “Don’t get me wrong… this is beautiful and I think that it’s making Sam and Jess very happy, but I don’t need all this to tell me that I love someone, you know? What we did...” Cas trailed off and gave Dean a small, shy smile. “I’m kind of glad we didn’t waste all the money, you know? We really weren’t ready for something like this.”

Dean just nodded quietly.

Cas turned to look at Dean. “What about you? Do you think if we had done something like this… things would’ve been… different?”

“I think… if we had, we’d have done some more planning, not such a spur of the moment thing. And maybe, yes… maybe things would have been different if we had planned it more. I’m sorry,” Dean sighed.

Cas was silent for a moment before he reached over and took Dean’s hand in his own. He squeezed gently and waited for Dean to look up at him. “I’m not,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I’m not sorry at all. If we had done things differently, if we had stayed together ten years ago, I can’t say we would be together now. We certainly wouldn’t have Dotty… we wouldn’t have… grown up. I don’t regret anything that got us to this point, Dean. Not one thing.”

“You’re right, Cas. You are. There’s just one thing I do really regret about it. I hurt you when I behaved like an ass. That’s my only regret.” Dean kissed Cas gently.

“I love you,” Cas smiled at him. They sat in silence, watching as Sam and Jessica’s friends and other family members filed into the hall, chatting animatedly with one another and slowly making their way to their seats. When a grinning Dot came bounding over, pulling her grandmother along behind her, Cas knew that meant Jess and Sam had arrived. 

“You ready to see your Uncle Sammy and Aunt Jess?” Cas asked the little flower girl as she hopped up into her chair and reached forward with both hands to take a sip of her water. 

“Yes!” she beamed. “I already took two pictures with my special camera,” she proudly told them.  
“Grammy helped me. I got pictures of their cake! It’s soooo pretty! I wish we didn’t have to eat it…”

Mary leaned over then and gently suggested, “Why don’t we take a picture of your family, honey? I can take a picture with your camera if you want to sit with your… with your dads…” She trailed off at the end, looking up carefully to both her son and Cas to make sure she hadn’t said anything wrong. 

Dean looked back at his mother, both surprised and thankful. “I think that’s a great idea, don’t you think so, Princess?”

“Can I sit on Papa’s lap for the picture?” his little girl asked in way of agreement.

Cas’s gaze shot upward, immediately seeking out the eyes of John Winchester and he was pleasantly shocked to see the gruff, older man was simply watching them --albeit carefully-- with a calm expression on his face. Cas didn’t trust his voice and instead just nodded, opening his arms so that Dotty could climb up into them.

Dean shifted closer to Cas and Dot and looked at the camera. Cas lifted his arm and placed it around Dean’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. Dotty leaned back into Cas’s chest and beamed at the camera aimed towards them. Cas squeezed Dean’s shoulder as he smiled and then the camera flashed. 

“Gram and Grampa are going to need a copy of that photo too, sweetheart,” John grunted nodding at Dot and then turned his attention away from them and towards the rest of the hall. 

“You’ll get it,” Dean promised with a happy smile, feeling like years of anger and pain were falling off his shoulders just at this simple remark from his father.

Cas could feel Dean straightening up beside him and knew the surprise and happiness he was feeling at hearing his father’s simple words of acceptance. Cas met Mary’s smiling, hopeful eyes and he gave her a reassuring wink and gentle smile of his own.

“Yeah, definitely. Maybe we can get some more pictures done for Christmas time or something, what do you think, little one?” Cas lifted her up and placed her back into her seat. 

Dot nodded happily as she accepted the camera back from her grandmother, “I’d like that, Papa! Can we put this picture of all of us beside the picture of me and Mommy?” 

“I think that’s the perfect place for it, sweetheart,” Cas agreed, reaching over and giving her a fond hug. “Then we could have the entire family in one place.” 

Suddenly her eyes grew wide and a smile broke across her face as she spotted her Uncle Sam and Aunt Jess coming into the hall. 

“They’re here!” she exclaimed and Cas laughed, looking up.  
Cas watched as Jess and Sam slowly made their way to the table stopping to exchange hugs, kisses and thank you’s with several people before they came to the main table. Then the family members were each given the same show of affection. When Sam pulled Cas in for a hug, holding on for just as long as he had for his brother, Cas finally, truly, felt accepted.


	30. Chapter 30

Cas laughed as he spun Dorothy around on the dance floor, her skirt and her hair flying about as they whirled. The little girl squealed in delight, the sound carefree and happy and everything Cas ever wanted to hear. He lifted her up and she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug, letting him twirl them a few more times before the song ended.

“I need something to drink, princess. You are wearing me out,” he panted, still smiling as he set her back down to the floor as the song changed. “Think we could get your Daddy out on the dance floor?”

Dean had already been making his way across the dance floor when he saw Cas and Dorothy stop their movement. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but may I ask for this dance?” he asked as he joined them.

Cas kissed his cheek and Dorothy giggled and took his hand. “Let me just get a drink of water first, I’ll meet you guys out there.”

“Sure.” Dean found Cas’s lips for a soft kiss and then took Dorothy’s other hand too, starting to dance with her, spinning her in a circle with him before gathering her up in his arms. “So, are you having fun?” he asked.

“I am!” Dorothy smiled as Dean gestured for her to step up on top of his shoes so he could guide her more easily around the dance floor. “Papa is a very good dancer! Did you see how he spun me, Daddy? My dress went all poofy and huge!”

“Oh, yes, I did see. You two were the best dancing couple on the dance floor, little bear. And the second best looking,” Dean winked.

“Who’s the first?” she asked, confused. 

“Well, no one is allowed to look better than Bride and Groom at the wedding, right?” Dean replied.

“Oh! You’re right Daddy!” Dotty looked over her shoulder to where Sam was spinning Jess around the dance floor. Jess had her head thrown back, a few blonde curls had fallen loose from her twist and were bouncing free against her shoulders as she pulled back up laughing before sealing her lips with Sam’s. “I don’t think anybody could be prettier anyway, ‘cuz Jessica looks like a princess.”

“Yes, she does. And you look like a little Princess.” Dean smiled.

“Thank you, Daddy!” Dotty looked back up at him and smiled. “You and Papa look really, really good too! Like… like _handsome princes_!”

“Aww, really? Thank you.” Dean leaned down and kissed Dorothy’s forehead.

“I love you, Daddy,” Dorothy said and gave her dad’s hands a squeeze. “Do you think you and Papa will have a wedding like this?”

“Oh… we… Well, we haven’t thought about anything like this yet. But I think if we did, it would be a little less fancy. Probably something a little smaller than this… with just you and Uncle Sammy and Jess, Grammy and Grandpa, Uncle Bobby and Grandpa Chuck, I think. Is that okay with you?”

The little girl smiled broadly. “So that means you gonna’ marry Papa…again?” She asked, cocking her head to the side as she watched her father’s face carefully. “ ‘Cuz I would really like that, Daddy. And I bet you Papa would too!”

Dean smiled, dipping Dot down once, chuckling as she let out a peal of childish laughter. She wrapped her legs tighter around his waist and clung to his neck with her small arms. Dean leaned forward and whispered against her ear, “I am thinking of remarrying Papa… yes, I am. But don’t tell him okay?”

She nodded quickly and smiled wider and hugged him tight just as Cas approached them and wrapped his arm around Dean’s back, holding the two of them close. 

“May I have this dance?” Castiel asked, smiling as Dean leaned back into his chest. 

“Course, Papa!” Dorothy giggled, gripping the lapels of Cas’ suit jacket over Dean’s shoulders and holding on tightly. The song changed to one with a slower tempo and the three of them danced to it, circling slowly in the center of the dance floor.

Dean was getting his second piece of wedding cake when his father joined him at the buffet. He smiled at him, genuinely smiled at his son, not just the general happy-for-Sam, wedding smile. Dean couldn't remember the last time he had seen that look directed at him.

"Dean, do you have a minute or two for your old man?"

"Sure," Dean nodded and waited for his father to pick up his own piece of cake. "Looks like our table is all busy dancing, if you want privacy?" Dean suggested. John nodded and they headed to their seats at the abandoned head table. "So, what can I do for you?" Dean asked once he had sat down, picking a corner of the cake off with his fork.

John cleared his throat, his hands nervously smoothing over the linen tablecloth. He stared out at the crowded dance floor, his eyes following the dancing couples. Dean was about to ask his dad again what was up when John swallowed hard and looked down at his hands. "Dean..." he started, sighing once before pressing forward. "Your mother is right... about how we feel and all. I know we haven't..." John stopped, the tips of his ears turning pink. He cleared his throat again glancing over at Dean and meeting his eyes for only a moment before looking back down at his hands once more. "We missed you, Dean." John’s voice was a whisper.

Dean looked at his dad, confused. The fact that his mother had apologized and wanted to be part of his and Castiel's life was one thing, a very beautiful thing even... But his father feeling the same way was huge. Dean didn't know what it was that he was feeling exactly. Of course there was relief and joy, but there was anger as well, all overwhelming as he stared down at his slice of cake and poked and pushed it around on his plate. Why couldn't his father just have accepted his life, Cas and their love all those years ago? Dean sighed, trying to push back the vast wave of emotions coursing through him at that point, and gave his dad a small smile. "I've missed you too, Dad. There… there were so many times during the years past I could have used advice from you."

"I know," John whispered, hands stilling on the table cloth. He looked up slowly, eyes finding Sam and Jess on the dance floor. "Your brother told us Cas might be coming back into your life... I didn't believe him at first. But... you seem happy."

"I am very happy. God, Dad, I didn't think I could be happier than with Dotty in my life, but then Cas came back into it..."

John reached over and gave Dean's hand a quick reassuring squeeze. "For what it's worth, son, I’m sorry for the way we acted back then. We were scared for you because we thought you were too young. We believed you would never be able to have kids or a real life and would end up divorced with your heart broken. And in the end, all of us lost... You lost Cas and we lost you. 

“I regret that, Dean, I regret that so damn much. Even if the worst was going to happen between the two of you, you were my son and I should have been able to support you and speak with you like an adult instead of shoving you away. I apologize for that."

Dean felt his throat tighten and he shoved away from the table, turning in his chair and reached for John, pulling his dad into a quick hug. "I forgive you," he said honestly. He leaned back in his chair and caught a glimpse of his daughter, bouncing over the dance floor with one of Jess's younger cousins. "And a tiny part of me kinda’ even thanks you, I guess. Without all that, there would never have been my little Dot of sunshine, and I might not have matured the way I have, into a man who's able to give Cas the life and love he deserves," Dean admitted thoughtfully.

"I'm proud of you, Son," John clapped Dean on the shoulder. "Damn proud."

"Thank you, Dad." Dean smiled, honestly happy about his father's words. He watched John’s face carefully, smiling to himself before turning his attention back to the crowd of people around them celebrating his brother and sister-in-law’s new life.

Cas looked over his shoulder as he moved down the hallway, crossing his fingers that Dean hadn’t decided he needed to use the bathroom too and had followed him. When he saw the main hallway was clear, he turned down the next hall and hit the call button for the elevator, punching the ‘3’ button when he stepped into the car.

He checked his pocket again for the keycard and when the doors opened, he turned towards the room they’d rented for the weekend. There had been no point in worrying about driving three hours back to Lawrence after the reception was over. Both Dean and Cas had decided they could make a full weekend out of their trip and let Dorothy spend some extra time with her grandparents while they were there. 

As he let himself into the room, he couldn’t help but smile. Dean and Sam had gotten ready in this room and their clothing pieces were strewn about on the floor and beds. Seeing the zipper on his bag open Cas’ heartbeat did a small skip and he almost tripped over Sam’s jeans in his haste to reach its spot on their bed so he could check it the contents. 

Apparently after returning to their room from a night of drinking, Dean had placed his bracelets and neck-chain in the top part of Cas’s bag for safekeeping. It didn’t look like Dean had gone through his bag more than unzipping it and Cas sighed in relief. He pulled out Dean’s jewelry and placed it on the nightstand before digging under his clothes and pulling out the folded papers he’d stored there. 

Petition for Divorce was written in thick block letters across the top of the stapled pages and it made Cas’s stomach twist as he stared down at them. Everything was there-- the terms of their divorce simple and laid out in plain words, and at the bottom of the page were two signatures screaming up at him. 

_Castiel N. Shirley_ and _Dean Winchester_ … Signed... Dated... Ready to file. 

With shaking hands, Cas folded the papers back up and slid them into his inner jacket pocket before reaching back into the bottom of his bag and grabbing the other item he’d shoved in there. He smoothed out the clothing once more and laid Dean’s jewelry back on top before turning away from his bag. 

His heart was pounding as he made his way back out of the room and into the elevator. He could feel the papers pressed warm against him almost like they were on fire, their presence a heavy weight against his chest. He thought of what Dean’s face would look like as he handed them to him, he could already imagine the way his eyes would widen, his lips would part slightly and his brow would furrow as his green eyes stared at the pages in his hands, questioning every single second until Castiel would speak. 

He knew that it would cause Dean’s heart to skip a beat, would cause the other man pain, and for a moment Castiel wondered if he was making the right choice. He inhaled deeply as the elevator dinged and the door opened, he straightened his shoulders. The decision had already been made. 

Back in the reception hall, people were in various states of dancing and talking, the room mildly smelled of alcohol and heat, but it was the sound of laughter, of happiness and love that really registered with him. Cas scanned the room quickly and smiled when he saw Dorothy bouncing on Sam’s lap, telling him and Jessica some story that involved both of her hands waving about wildly. 

Beside them at the table, Dean was leaning on his elbow, slowly eating what was probably his third piece of cake, as he listened to Bobby talk. He was nodding every few seconds and then Dean let out a laugh, throwing his head back and Cas could hear the sound from across the room. It made Cas’s heart squeeze and he pushed himself into gear and started walking across the dance floor. 

When he arrived at Dean’s side, Dean looked up at him, his eyes shining, a smile still playing out on his lips. 

“Hey babe, what took you so long?” 

Cas swallowed hard and tried to give him a smile, but his face wasn’t cooperating and his stomach was clenching almost painfully. Dean blinked once, sensing that something was off and he excused himself from Bobby and walked around the table, wrapping an arm around Cas’s shoulders and leading them away. 

“Dean… can I talk to you? Outside?”

“Yeah, of course,” Dean answered, reaching down to take Castiel’s hand in his own and lead him out the French doors on the side of the hall. Beyond the doors was a small courtyard with stone benches and a garden, lit by romantic small solar lights, but Cas needed something different. He didn’t want anyone walking out on them…

Without saying a word, Cas tugged on Dean’s hand and pulled him through the yard to the gate that lead to the parking lot. They moved towards the Impala and Cas leaned against it, waiting for Dean to settle beside him. After a few moments of silence, Dean spoke. 

“Cas? Are you okay?”

Slowly, Cas reached into his jacket, not trusting himself to speak. He unfolded the papers and then pressed them into Dean’s hands, looking at him from the corner of his eyes to see what his response was. 

Dean swallowed hard as he recognized the papers Cas was handing him. It didn’t matter that the parking lot’s lights were dim and he couldn’t read the words if he wanted to… he knew what he was holding. He just didn’t know why he was holding them. He hadn’t known that Castiel even still had these papers, and he sure as hell never expected Cas to bring them along to the wedding. 

A million thoughts swirled through Dean’s head as he stared down at the papers in his hands, shaking slightly and he tightened his grip to stop the pages from fluttering. The biggest question of all was what had he missed? How had he not seen that Castiel was unhappy? He felt his throat and eyes burning and slowly, he let his eyes trail up to Cas who was watching him carefully.

 _“Will you marry me, Castiel?”_ Cas had been asked that before, too many times in his opinion, and he wasn’t going to go down that road again. It had been too painful and every time he thought that he was happy, that he had a man who truly wanted him for who he was, something had ruined that. 

He reached for the papers in Dean’s hands and looked up to meet Dean’s confused eyes, glassy with unshed tears as he searched Cas’s face. Without saying a word, Castiel wrapped his hands over Dean’s fists and slowly pulled, effectively ripping the pages in half. As the sound of the papers tearing, Dean gasped softly, now looking even more confused as he opened his mouth once then closed it again. 

“I…” he said, but Cas shushed him and pulled the pages free from Dean’s grasp. He tossed the ruined documents onto the hood of the Impala and moved so he was standing right in front of Dean, boxing him in and pressing him against the car. 

“Dean, I’ve spent so many years asking myself what I did wrong, what I could have done better, what happened to us back then. More recently, I’ve asked myself why I waited so long before I tried to really be happy, and why did I try to settle for someone that never, truly, made me feel that way.” Cas paused, shifting as he reached into his pocket and closed his fingers around the second thing he’d brought with him. 

“I’ve always let someone else be in control. Even when I came here, asking for you to sign those papers, I was following what Balthazar wanted, then when I stayed and refused, I was following what you wanted.” He shook his head when Dean opened his mouth to argue and covered his lips with a finger. 

“I thought I was ready before, but I wasn’t Dean. I wasn’t ready to be married when we were teenagers, neither one of us was… And … in all honesty… your parents were right. We weren’t ready then. I thought that I was happy and content when I was living and planning the rest of my life with Balthazar, but I wasn’t. 

“Now, Dean, I am. I am ready and I am finally happy with a man that is everything I have ever wanted and ever needed. As much as I wanted you to be that for me back then? You weren’t. You hadn’t become the amazing, strong, confident man that you are today.” Cas reached out for Dean’s hand and pressed something into it, waiting until Dean opened his palm to reveal two gold bands before Cas continued. 

“Dean, will you wear this ring again? Will you be my husband again? I’m sick of answering awkward questions about what our relationship is and wondering what I should call you when in my heart, and in every other sense of the word, you are my husband. You have accepted me into your life, into Dorothy’s life, and I don’t doubt that I am a part of this family or doubt the love I feel for that little girl. I think of her as my own, and I am so humbled by that.”

Dean turned the rings in his hand, a small smile on his lips as he glanced up and met Cas’s eyes again. “So… you really want a Winchester again?” he asked softly, leaning into Cas’s chest, bringing them closer. 

Cas smiled and took one of the rings from Dean’s hand, slipping it slowly onto Dean’s left ring finger before holding out his own hand to let Dean do the same. They joined hands, and Cas smiled at the two glinting gold bands in the dim light before he met Dean’s lips in a kiss. 

Dean reached for Cas, one arm curling around his waist as the other pulled his hips closer, reeling him in. Dean leaned back onto the hood slotting Castiel between his legs. Cas reached for Dean’s face, holding it between his palms and deepening their kiss. 

Near the building, they could hear Dotty calling for them in the courtyard and Cas broke away, pulling Dean back to his feet with a smile. He kissed him once more, soft and quick before he found his hand. 

“A Winchester… ? Yes, Dean. I’ll take two.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a ride! Never would we have expected something so big to come out of just a tiny prompt and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for sticking this out with us, even after we fell off our posting-schedule wagon. Thank you to those who came in at the start, those who came in during the posting, and for those to come for all of the feedback you've given us! We appreciate it so very much. 
> 
> Although we will still have timestamps, both pre and post Take Two, we are sad, proud, and happy to say that this installment has been completed. 
> 
> I want to say thank you to Bibi for writing with me -- I missed this, just like I missed you, and reconnecting and writing together once more was such a blast ♥
> 
> Thank you all! Dani xx

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Graphics for Take Two by Islanderbib83 & lotrspnfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10646619) by [lotrspnfangirlgraphics (lotrspnfangirl)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotrspnfangirl/pseuds/lotrspnfangirlgraphics)




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